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How much would a daughter/son who didnt speak to you bother you? watch

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    My sister was the biggest most manipulative little bugger who ever lived, took my dad for granted, gave him a terrible time, yet he would still give her his heart if he thought it would save her. It's very difficult for a father to even consider not allowing his daughter to live with at home, what would the alternative be, he puts her on the street? Then what happens to her, at least at home he knows she is safe, and is still providing for her, so in his own way he's doing his bit, but his heart must be broken.
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    (Original post by inthedark1)
    Thats making the assumption that she wants to but yea that would be for the best.
    Why not?
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    A lot.

    Sometimes parents need to hit their children - but it's more effective when they're younger as a shock tactic. When they're teenagers they tend to be manipulate little *****es and scare their parents (mainly fathers) by saying they're going to report them for child abuse, for one hit.

    It would bother me because it's a child you've given life to, brought up and helped them survive, then to not speak to them for losing their cool now and again is seriously upsetting. All people, even parents, make mistakes and need a second chance. Without your parents you wouldn't be here to day.
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    (Original post by SirMasterKey)
    I would be quite upset at that scenario to be honest. Particulary as they held a grudge for 5 years + for one small incident. That being said maybe not the most sensible thing to do in hitting them on the head.
    I agree.
    It might not be the best idea to clip your 15 year old round the head, but i would be a bit upset about my kid not speaking to me ever again. Especially as it is one small incident and although i can understand the kid being annoyed at the time, it would be a bit pathetic holding a grudge for that long.
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    (Original post by Ripper-Roo)
    A lot.

    Sometimes parents need to hit their children - but it's more effective when they're younger as a shock tactic. When they're teenagers they tend to be manipulate little *****es and scare their parents (mainly fathers) by saying they're going to report them for child abuse, for one hit.

    It would bother me because it's a child you've given life to, brought up and helped them survive, then to not speak to them for losing their cool now and again is seriously upsetting. All people, even parents, make mistakes and need a second chance. Without your parents you wouldn't be here to day.
    It would have to be more than one isolated incident such as always calling them and just telling the teenager to p*** *** when they are angry about things rather than discussing it/trying to resolve the issue. Sure you might have the right to use the authortarian approach if you want but from what Ive seen it doesnt always work well for the relationship in the long run. Though Ive never had a kid so never been on that side of it, suppose I'l find out if I ever have one.
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    (Original post by inthedark1)
    It would have to be more than one isolated incident such as always calling them and just telling the teenager to p*** *** when they are angry about things rather than discussing it/trying to resolve the issue. Sure you might have the right to use the authortarian approach if you want but from what Ive seen it doesnt always work well for the relationship in the long run. Though Ive never had a kid so never been on that side of it, suppose I'l find out if I ever have one.
    I know I've come down on the side of the parents. My assumption is that the parents have just tried to do their job and the child has overreacted by refusing to speak to the parents for a simple clip across the ear.

    However, I can see it from the child's side; if their parents are constantly monitoring them, question them and overreact as well. Or are just very abusive which isn't right and definitely don't deserve respect. But in the instance of the thread, the parents seem genuninely caring so I sympathise with them completely if their child decides never to seapk to them again.
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    What people are failing to see is that 15 years old is too old to be hit, rather any age is too old to be hit in my eyes.

    Its no wonder youre being ignored, if you got randomly hit in the middle of the street you would call it assault and have the person in court.

    Just because its family doesn't make it okay. The girl deserves an apology because at the end of the day, whatever she did, she didn't deserve to get hit.


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    I would be quite upset and would do anything to try to make things right between us. I would try to make her/him feel jealous by intentionally trying to get close with my other kids in front of him/her. That would hopefully encourage that spoiled kid to treat his father with a bit more respect.
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    I am that daughter.
    Except it wasn't a one off incident that made me decide that keeping my distance was the best option.
    It does get a bit awkward when I'm home for uni, he doesn't mind though.
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    (Original post by Roger1)
    I would be quite upset and would do anything to try to make things right between us. I would try to make her/him feel jealous by intentionally trying to get close with my other kids in front of him/her. That would hopefully encourage that spoiled kid to treat his father with a bit more respect.
    That seems a tad manipulative and/or immature. What if it doesn't end up having the desired effect and the child starts to despise you even more?
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    Devastated.
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    (Original post by Myocardium)
    That seems a tad manipulative and/or immature. What if it doesn't end up having the desired effect and the child starts to despise you even more?
    Well, it works most of the time. Kids die to have the attention of their parents. If it doesn't work then maybe I would try something different.
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    (Original post by JoannaMilano)
    They wouldn't be living with me. I'm not going to have someone in my household who is ignoring me and basically disrespecting me. Then again, I'm not stupid enough to let it go on 7+ years. If you have an issue, you discuss it like adults or you resolve not to see each other. You don't live in the same house ignoring each other (unless the child is too young to leave home).

    In this scenario, the family need to discuss things. If there's never been an apology from the father, he should make one.

    Then depending on what happens at the discussion, the child needs to decide what they want: to ignore their father and hold a grudge, or to live as part of the family. I'm not saying either course is wrong I'd probably pick the former myself if I hated my dad that much. But you don't get to have your cake (living in the family home) and eat it too (completely ignore your father and hold grudges against him).

    If the mother still wants the daughter living in the house, that's a discussion for her and the father. If the father is adamant he won't live with the daughter, then the mother has choices to make now. But I would not allow the current situation to continue.


    Like I said, I'm not saying the child isn't entitled to hold a grudge. But equally I don't think they're entitled to disrespect their father like this while still living under his roof. If you're mature enough to decide to disown/ignore a family member, you're mature enough to take the consequences (in this case, moving out).
    Ok thanks!
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    Couldn't give a toss.

    I don't speak to my dad much and if we do, it's through arguments and haven't spoken to my mum for 4 years so why should I care if my son/daughter does the same?

    I grew up isolated from my family despite living together.

    I'd even laugh in their face if they suddenly needed my help.
 
 
 
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