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Anyone else fed up of being harassed to try anal sex? Watch

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    (Original post by Trix465)
    Well a lot of people freak out because they hear this that and the other, mostly glorified (or rather horrible) stories of bad scenarios during anal but to be honest 99.999999% of the time there is never a problem. Truth be told for guys it does feel considerably better and even some girls, who first were scared of it, love it so its quite common for a guy to want to try it. My last girlfriend let me try it with her and it was incredible for me but she wasn't so keen - thats fair enough I never pushed her again as we she wasn't keen on it.

    Have you considered just trying it once on the complete understanding that if you don't like it that one time then you don't want him to mention it again? (Side potential benefit is you both love it and your sex life suddenly has a lot more variety!)
    If I catch the OPs drift correctly I think she is saying there is no way in hell she wants anything up her back bottom..
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    Yeah, I've even said the "I'll let you do it to me if I can do it to you" thing, out of desperation. We've had some strong words about his friends' input, although they don't seem to have had any effect atm... He's agreed not to hint about it so much so I'll have to see whether he sticks to that promise. The situation should improve when the biggest idiot out of his friends moves away for his year abroad in a couple of weeks. As I said before, I don't really want to enter into a debate for/against doing it as I feel very strongly that I don't want to - the issue's more that my feelings aren't being respected and sexuality's all about personal preference, as a lot of you've said.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For a while now my boyfriend has being asking me to try anal sex with him, something that he also has never done but has repeatedly said is his ultimate fantasy. I really don't feel comfortable (personally) with the idea of anal for many reasons, while I accept that many people practice and enjoy it. Although I've made it very clear to my boyfriend that I don't want to do it, he continually hints that we should try it and while this is often done in a lighthearted way it gets me down because I feel like I'm not enough for him without it. What's even worse is that all his friends know how much he wants to do it and have even baited me about it when they're drunk, making me feel ganged-up against. Has anyone else felt similarly pressured to try anal (or anything else sexual) when they really don't want to, just to stop the pestering? This issue is really getting me down, especially because we generally have a really strong relationship and I feel like his obsession could end up splitting us up.
    He sounds like a total utter penis.
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    There is nothing wrong with him wanting to try anal sex, and there is nothing wrong with you not wanting to. There is a LOT wrong with him constantly pestering you and making you feel bad about yourself, and even more wrong with him telling his mates all about it and getting them to bully you about it too. That's seriously not on at all.

    If you seriously never ever want to even try it, whether that's because of concerns about safety or because you simply don't want something up there, then that's fine, but you have to make this very clear to him. Do this when you're alone, both sober and NOT in the middle of sexytime. Tell him that you're never going to be keen on it, and that he is making you feel bad by putting all that pressure on you. If anal is that important to him, it may be that he's not the right man for you, and it might be the end of your relationship, but at some point you need to have this conversation so you both know where you stand.
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    Yeah, although I've told my bf how his pestering makes me feel he still says he has the "right" to keep asking, in case I change my mind (which I know I won't). He has agreed to stop hinting about it so much though so I guess I'll have to see how it goes... On the friends side of things, the worst of them is going on a year abroad soon so the problem should improve. As I said, I don't really want to start a debate for/against doing it because sex should be all about personal preference and the issue for me is that my feelings aren't being accepted or respected!
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    No need to get all anal about it. Sorry, I just had to share my joke.

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    (Original post by IdeasForLife)
    Tell him if you can put a dildo up his ass then he can put his penis up yours.
    Bet he won't be so keen anymore.
    Keep in mind though, that if he actually DOES stick a dildo up his ass, you have no excuse.
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    For me as soon as his 'mates' starting baiting you it would have been over. In fact if he doesn't respect my decision it would have been over.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What's even worse is that all his friends know how much he wants to do it and have even baited me about it when they're drunk, making me feel ganged-up against.
    Personally, had I been in your place, this would have ended the relationship.
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    (Original post by randomd_love)
    Same - its your relationship, not theirs.
    The fact that he's discussed something private and made it so public shows that he may view/respect your relationship differently to you. In addition to this the fact that he lets his boys gang up on you, and doesn't tell them to shut the **** up when they talk their nonsense, should make you question what needs changing; It's either his attitude, that includes when his mates around you or just him.

    Your partner should be there to protect and defend you when others talk ****, not give them ammunition.

    Sorry, tried to reply to this thread ages ago but doesn't seem to have worked! Yeah, although I've told my bf how his pestering makes me feel he still says he has the "right" to keep asking, in case I change my mind (which I know I won't). He has agreed to stop hinting about it so much though so I guess I'll have to see how it goes... On the friends side of things, the worst of them is going on a year abroad soon so the problem should improve. As I said, I don't really want to start a debate for/against doing it because sex should be all about personal preference and the issue for me is that my feelings aren't being accepted or respected!
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    (Original post by randomd_love)
    Your partner should be there to protect and defend you when others talk ****, not give them ammunition.
    Not really, since they could be right. I think it's silly to have your partner always defend you no matter what.
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    Im sure everybody has their fantasies or things they would like to try in the bedroom however just because this is his fantasy he cant suddanly expect you to do it. Do not feel pressured into doing something you know you wont enjoy. Its your body you do what you want with your body not him.

    Its tough luck for him a relationship is based on give and take not forcing the other person to do what they don't feel comfortable with. Just tell him straight be blunt and ask him while he is pressuring you to do something you don't want to do I think you need to be firm with him
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    OP don;'t be pressured don't do it.
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      (Original post by Treeroy)
      In his defence, it is pretty good.


      Edit: On a more serious note, you might be being unreasonable with yourself. Why are you hostile to it? Maybe your reasons are not particularly good.
      If you think it over rationally and still come to the conclusion that you don't want to, then I suggest telling him that you want him to do something he doesn't like, since that's your sexual fantasy. You'll either end the arguing, or you'll have an interesting trade, but either way that would stop him going on about anal.
      As a girl, I wouldn't want a **** up my arse. It's my body, it's the OP's body. Stop being so rude about it.

      She's not being unreasonable. If she doesn't want to do it, she doesn't want to. ****ing hell, learn some respect.
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        (Original post by Anonymous)
        I've been with two guys that were literally obsessed with anal! Like you, it's not something I want to do at all. One guy even gave me an ultimatum, which was part of the reason why I split up with him.

        The other guy sounds a lot like your boyfriend, ie he had never tried it but it was his ultimate sexual fantasy. He never put any pressure on me though or discussed it with his friends :eek: That's really out of order IMO, he's basically prioritising one sexual act that he's never even experienced above your feelings. It sounds like he doesn't have much respect for you tbh. Is he selfish in other ways too? If so I'd get rid.
        What a **** (no pun intended).

        If it were between "do anal or I'm leaving you", well, **** it, I wouldn't want to be with someone who pressured me into something I don't want to do.

        What kind of boyfriend loves their girlfriend on the condition that he gets anal? That's not love.
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          (Original post by Ultimate1)
          Not surprised the most beta white knight statement here comes from a guy :rolleyes:.

          If my girlfriend ever said that she would know exactly what would happen next: the door will be open and she will be shown the direction to it.
          And if I were your girlfriend, I'd be happy to leave. I wouldn't want to be with such a misogynistic pig who demanded anal off me.
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          How do you know you won't like it until you try it? I think you should be more open minded.

          Love all the Whiteknights in here too haha
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          (Original post by Santorum)
          How do you know you won't like it until you try it? I think you should be more open minded.

          Love all the Whiteknights in here too haha
          I'm sure anyone you call a 'white knight' I'd be privileged to have a friend. However, anyone who thinks every girl should give her boyfriend anal is just a ****.
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          (Original post by SmallTownGirl)
          I'm sure anyone you call a 'white knight' I'd be privileged to have a friend. However, anyone who thinks every girl should give her boyfriend anal is just a ****.
          I'm sure you'd like lots of ultra nice guys who say anything you want (I'd personally prefer real friends, but to each their own.)

          I didn't say that all girls should have anal you clearly misread/ misunderstood my post, my point was that she should be open to at least entertaining the idea and not immediately dismiss it as some girls do enjoy it.
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          Don't be pressured into it OP. You have every right to say no. Tell him that you won't change your mind on the matter and he should stop pressuring you into it. He should you respect you a bit more.

          The fact that his friends know about this and have been pressuring you too is disgusting.
         
         
         
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