Lost my 'soulmate' Watch

JustMe20
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#21
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#21
(Original post by McFlury)
Ah, I suppose that is what it's like with my friend, we have never discussed being more than friends but I guess I've left it too late and growing up/ moving away is bound to change everything.

He probably really does want to be with you but realises he cannot due to circumstances, like you said. Maybe he finds it too hard being reminded of what he could have had so cutting contact was the best thing to do so that he could focus on moving on in his life.
As silly as it sounds, I hope that is the reason and not that he's decided he just doesn't want to talk to me anymore :confused: . I say that because we work completely different shifts so us talking for hours everyday would often mean one of us would go with having only a few hours sleep a day, so maybe he just thought it wasn't worth the effort anymore.
Whatever his reason though, it doesn't make the situation any better but I'll just have to get over it I guess

I hope the situation with your friend can improve!
0
reply
DeveenaS
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#22
Report 5 years ago
#22
Okay I know how you feel. The absence, that void, the gap feels so big and you feel lost. Things that you need to talk about you can't because he's not there anymore. For now I think you should send him a message explaining that of course you do really still miss him and care about him. It's not a light switch at the end of the day, you just can't turn it on and off. However you have come to terms about what he's said and why you can't be together. Say you would still love to be friends and if he ever wants to talk you're there. At least he will know that you still care and at the end of the day he WANTS to hear from you. He WANTS to know you care so he will not get angry by that message.

See how it goes from that point but I generally feel speaking from experience that you guys need a bit of a cooling-off period. I got back together with my ex (my "soulmate") after two years of breaking up with him. This gives both parties time to cool off and put everything to the past. If you believe your bond was so strong you may potentially have a future with him. Maybe not in the immediate future, but in good time.

Hope it all goes well xo
0
reply
Zenomorph
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#23
Report 5 years ago
#23
(Original post by Chwirkytheappleboy)
What the hell is that supposed to mean? How are their "ways" any different to a heterosexual couple?
What the hell gives you the right to demand to know my personal opinion, do you feel you have that right just cause you belong to a certain group ?

Therein lies your answer

Zeno laffs @ the assumption of entitlement and promptly places the you know what on ignore.

Thank you.... Bye.
0
reply
IlexBlue
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#24
Report 5 years ago
#24
Clearly you're not "soulmates" if the empty excuse you've just given us is the only thing stopping you being together.
1
reply
JustMe20
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#25
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#25
(Original post by IlexBlue)
Clearly you're not "soulmates" if the empty excuse you've just given us is the only thing stopping you being together.
And the award for most pointless comment goes to.....

I said at the beginning I don't really believe in soulmates, I was merely using the word to describe the sort of connection we had.

I don't know why there is a fixation on us being together. I said we discussed the matter and agreed not to get into one. We were happy with the situation (or so I thought) for years and remained extremely close friends. I wrote this thread because I am missing the loss of this friendship, one I describe as being like soulmates because I don't have this with anyone else, not because I am mourning the loss of a potential romantic relationship.
1
reply
Chwirkytheappleboy
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#26
Report 5 years ago
#26
(Original post by Zenomorph)
What the hell gives you the right to demand to know my personal opinion, do you feel you have that right just cause you belong to a certain group ?

Therein lies your answer

Zeno laffs @ the assumption of entitlement and promptly places the you know what on ignore.

Thank you.... Bye.
I make the demand partly because what you say makes no sense, but mostly because you appear to be coming across as homophobic. Tell me, to which group do you believe I belong, exactly?
0
reply
UniMastermindBOSS
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#27
Report 5 years ago
#27
(Original post by Zenomorph)
What the hell gives you the right to demand to know my personal opinion, do you feel you have that right just cause you belong to a certain group ?

Therein lies your answer

Zeno laffs @ the assumption of entitlement and promptly places the you know what on ignore.

Thank you.... Bye.
:teehee:

I knew someone would pick up on that and wondered how you were gonna respond
0
reply
joker12345
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#28
Report 5 years ago
#28
(Original post by JustMe20)
I don't know whether your first comment there is actually sarcastic or not...
I left out the details because I didn't think it was important, we aren't in a relationship, we could have been 2 hetero male or female friends, it doesn't really matter. However the responses seemed to imply that this was important so I thought I'd just clarify!

Anyway, I don't think it's important here why we're not together in a relationship sense, because the fact is we both agreed to not get into one regardless of how we felt. This had been the case for years, so what is troubling and upsetting me is why he suddenly, drastically changed and decided to cut me out of his life forever. He wont answer my calls or messages, this happened a week ago so I've given up trying to change his mind now. But I feel absolutely awful, that's why I'm on here asking how I can feel better about losing such a close friend.
It's pretty important, because from the way you put things it sounds like you should be together. If you had such a strong connection then letting distance get in the way seems pretty stupid.
Anyway, maybe it was just too hard for him to keep being friends with someone he wanted more with, maybe he remained friends before holding out for an eventual future but realised it wouldn't happen.
0
reply
lizlaz350
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#29
Report 5 years ago
#29
(Original post by JustMe20)
And the award for most pointless comment goes to.....

I said at the beginning I don't really believe in soulmates, I was merely using the word to describe the sort of connection we had.

I don't know why there is a fixation on us being together. I said we discussed the matter and agreed not to get into one. We were happy with the situation (or so I thought) for years and remained extremely close friends. I wrote this thread because I am missing the loss of this friendship, one I describe as being like soulmates because I don't have this with anyone else, not because I am mourning the loss of a potential romantic relationship.
Everyone's fixating on why you can't be together because we think that's the most likely reason he's stopped talking to you.

If you've already agreed never to meet each other ever and that it's never going to progress to anything further, he probably doesn't see any point in continuing the friendship.

Even if he doesn't want the relationship to progress into a romantic one, it can be really hard to continue with it knowing you won't ever meet. I've had friends online who I thought were like best friends and I really wanted to meet one day but they clearly weren't into it as much as I was and I found that really hard because I wanted to spend time with them in person and also because I didn't understand why they didn't like me enough to meet me.
You say that it was a mutual decision not to meet but maybe he changed his mind or maybe he never agreed with that as much as he seemed to say.

Even if you're both really busy and live far apart, you can still meet each other, there's nothing stopping you. You can get time off jobs and book travel in advanced so it's cheaper. There's always away.

If you don't think anything will change because you don't want to fight for it and make changes or because you don't think he will ever start talking to you again, the only way to get over it is time. It's only been a week, you'll recover eventually. That might be blunt but it's the only way.

(Original post by Zenomorph)
What the hell gives you the right to demand to know my personal opinion, do you feel you have that right just cause you belong to a certain group ?
You've already given your personal opinion by stating LGBT couples 'have their own ways' and are different somehow. That's an opinion, not a fact and he just wants you to explain it. It's a bit late to get protective about your personal opinions now, sweetie.

Also, I don't think he does think he has a 'right' to know but seeing as forums are meant for discussions and sharing opinions, it's pretty reasonable to expect people to share them.

Put me on your ignore list too if you want, it'll be no great loss.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#30
Report 5 years ago
#30
to be fairly honest, you will distance away from alot of people in your lifetime
sometimes it just happens from one without a warning (like in your case) but if you were doing well enough to have a 'chemistry, connection' or however you describe it, with that one person, im pretty sure you'll find someone like that to get along with simillary.

also about feeling lonely, i mean who doesnt feel lonely, we will miss people, it will hit us hard at a point, i feel your pain, i guess obviously try to re-connect and find out why and what happened, but just don't be the only one putting all the effort in communicating back with eachother, because if he cared (hope he did) he would be happy to see you try and get back at you tbh, if not, then i guess you just have to eventually accept what has happened.

i hope i didn't come across rude, im just saying my opnion though x x
0
reply
JustMe20
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#31
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#31
(Original post by joker12345)
It's pretty important, because from the way you put things it sounds like you should be together. If you had such a strong connection then letting distance get in the way seems pretty stupid.
Anyway, maybe it was just too hard for him to keep being friends with someone he wanted more with, maybe he remained friends before holding out for an eventual future but realised it wouldn't happen.
I suppose after we discussed not being together, it didn't seem as big an issue to me and that's why I didn't understand why everyone here is focussing on that. Maybe I was happier than he was just being friends - I don't know, he never said anything to me about it so perhaps you're right. It just seems to me, that after so many years, he wouldn't just give up on what I thought was such a good friendship
0
reply
JustMe20
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#32
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#32
(Original post by lizlaz350)
Everyone's fixating on why you can't be together because we think that's the most likely reason he's stopped talking to you.

If you've already agreed never to meet each other ever and that it's never going to progress to anything further, he probably doesn't see any point in continuing the friendship.

Even if he doesn't want the relationship to progress into a romantic one, it can be really hard to continue with it knowing you won't ever meet. I've had friends online who I thought were like best friends and I really wanted to meet one day but they clearly weren't into it as much as I was and I found that really hard because I wanted to spend time with them in person and also because I didn't understand why they didn't like me enough to meet me.
You say that it was a mutual decision not to meet but maybe he changed his mind or maybe he never agreed with that as much as he seemed to say.

Even if you're both really busy and live far apart, you can still meet each other, there's nothing stopping you. You can get time off jobs and book travel in advanced so it's cheaper. There's always away.

If you don't think anything will change because you don't want to fight for it and make changes or because you don't think he will ever start talking to you again, the only way to get over it is time. It's only been a week, you'll recover eventually. That might be blunt but it's the only way.
This wasn't some sort of online thing. We used to live nearby and see eachother (as friends) all the time. Then we moved away, but continued to talk on the phone and things everyday. It transpired after a short while that maybe we liked eachother as more than friends, but we did mutually agree not to get together.

Perhaps he did change his mind or never really agreed with it to begin with. But it strikes me as strange because he put a lot of effort into talking to me for hours everyday, often going with only a few hours sleep (as I did too), and this went on for nearly 5 years. Yet suddenly one day he decided he wasn't going to do it anymore and cut me off without an explanation.
0
reply
JustMe20
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#33
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#33
(Original post by Anonymous)
to be fairly honest, you will distance away from alot of people in your lifetimesometimes it just happens from one without a warning (like in your case) but if you were doing well enough to have a 'chemistry, connection' or however you describe it, with that one person, im pretty sure you'll find someone like that to get along with simillary.also about feeling lonely, i mean who doesnt feel lonely, we will miss people, it will hit us hard at a point, i feel your pain, i guess obviously try to re-connect and find out why and what happened, but just don't be the only one putting all the effort in communicating back with eachother, because if he cared (hope he did) he would be happy to see you try and get back at you tbh, if not, then i guess you just have to eventually accept what has happened.i hope i didn't come across rude, im just saying my opnion though x x
Funnily enough, it was he that said we had a connection/chemistry and that we don't find this with many people.... Thanks for your response anyway, it wasn't rude, I appreciate the honesty. I have stopped trying to get him to talk to me, as if he doesn't want to then that's his right, I'm not going to harass him into it. It just really hurts at the moment
0
reply
I HATE EVERYTING
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#34
Report 5 years ago
#34
(Original post by JustMe20)
So I don't totally believe in soulmates, but if I did then this person would be it. We could be on the phone for 4 hours and it would feel like only 10 minutes had passed. Sometimes I'd have no clue what we'd even been talking about because it would be about absolute rubbish.. but it was fun. Call it chemistry, call it a connection, I don't know, but it was something I don't have with anyone else and I don't think I ever will.

We weren't 'together' but we did like each other. I wont go into the whole back story to why we couldn't be together but it means now, after about 8 years, this person couldn't take it anymore. They decided to cut off all contact with me, just like that. It's breaking my heart not being able to speak to them everyday, I feel lost.

What can I do to stop feeling like this?
help http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=2521319
0
reply
Zenomorph
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#35
Report 5 years ago
#35
(Original post by lizlaz350)
Everyone's fixating on why you can't be together because we think that's the most likely reason he's stopped talking to you.

If you've already agreed never to meet each other ever and that it's never going to progress to anything further, he probably doesn't see any point in continuing the friendship.

Even if he doesn't want the relationship to progress into a romantic one, it can be really hard to continue with it knowing you won't ever meet. I've had friends online who I thought were like best friends and I really wanted to meet one day but they clearly weren't into it as much as I was and I found that really hard because I wanted to spend time with them in person and also because I didn't understand why they didn't like me enough to meet me.
You say that it was a mutual decision not to meet but maybe he changed his mind or maybe he never agreed with that as much as he seemed to say.

Even if you're both really busy and live far apart, you can still meet each other, there's nothing stopping you. You can get time off jobs and book travel in advanced so it's cheaper. There's always away.

If you don't think anything will change because you don't want to fight for it and make changes or because you don't think he will ever start talking to you again, the only way to get over it is time. It's only been a week, you'll recover eventually. That might be blunt but it's the only way.



You've already given your personal opinion by stating LGBT couples 'have their own ways' and are different somehow. That's an opinion, not a fact and he just wants you to explain it. It's a bit late to get protective about your personal opinions now, sweetie.

Also, I don't think he does think he has a 'right' to know but seeing as forums are meant for discussions and sharing opinions, it's pretty reasonable to expect people to share them.

Put me on your ignore list too if you want, it'll be no great loss.

My opinion, my choice what I do with it, get over it.

Yes you're right you're on ignore and no it's not a loss at all .
0
reply
Mr Chang
Badges: 7
Rep:
?
#36
Report 5 years ago
#36
Chuck and blair
0
reply
username945458
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#37
Report 5 years ago
#37
Find someone else.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How did your Edexcel GCSE Maths Paper 1 go?

Loved the paper - feeling positive (537)
26.41%
The paper was reasonable (885)
43.53%
Not feeling great about that exam (397)
19.53%
It was TERRIBLE (214)
10.53%

Watched Threads

View All