Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Have developed a misogynistic attitude through insecurities...help? watch


    So, you have a girlfriend who loves you for who you are and sometimes encourages you to get healthy and you begrudge her for it. Righty-o.

    The only problem here is your attitude. Luckily that can be changed. If you took some responsibility for yourself instead of blaming every other possible person/factor in the world, that is.

    Muscles and stuff are basically only important to initial attraction and the "display stage" of courtship.

    You have a long-term girlfriend. She loves you. Count your blessings.

    You do not seem "misogynistic", it's not misogynistic to note female preferences and resent them for it.

    This thread and the mentality of OP are very familiar to me. Been there, done that, still trying to totally climb out of it.
    Heres what I am seeing here : You dont want to change for your own benefits. Its that simple. The idea that if you get into shape, become more healthy and more attractive ( thats right!) will somehow make you a "buff jerk" is beyond ludicrous. It really is. But honestly thats not even where you need to start. You have a low self esteem and low confidence (as you stated yourself) AND you dont wanna change. Thats a really bad combination man. Not to sound harsh but I am surprised you even managed to get a gf with all this negativity going on.

    Anyway heres the thing : You gotta work on your self esteem. I cant stress this enough. It is so important to feel confident (not cocky) and comfortable in your own skin. This will help you in all areas of life and yes with women too. How you improve it? You develop yourself, your lifestyle, be it work, school, hobbies,travel, whatever makes you happy. Another option : psychologist. Some people can push themselves but not everybody. I think for you maybe a psychologist is exactly who you need in order to improve your outlook and the way you see yourself.

    Now as far as looks and not being the hottest guy in town and all that. Sorry but Get over it! There are millions and millions that have it worse than you in looks department, are shorter than you, fatter than you, less desirable than you. Its reality man. Do looks matter? ye to a certain extend but if you can attract one girl and get her to be your gf, you can attract others. There are some people out there that you look at and think only their moma can love 'em and yet they have bf/gf, married and happy. The problem that you got is INSECURITY in your self and in how you look. Thats a big problem. If you dont like yourself, why do you think others should? People (and yes especially women) love a guy that is the best version of himself! Another key right there! Always try to be the best version of YOU. You having a big belly, unhealthy, bitter about it, insecure about it, is definitely not the best version of yourself. Women can sense insecurities and low self esteem miles away and that is whats the most unattractive trait not even physical.

    So in conclusion, I get it, its tough out there when you were not born with a silver spoon in your mouth that others have but guess what? NOBODY owes you anything! NOBODY! Its all on you man. You gotta take the tough steps and start improving. Start from the inside, work on your self esteem, begin to like who you are but always try to improve. Always be the best that you can be and you will see the difference it makes.
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 22, 2014
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.