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Relationships before the age of 25 are pointless. Discuss. Watch

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    (Original post by antipathy)
    To be fair though, the early dating stages are the easy bit.

    It's keeping a relationship going for the long haul that's difficult, and needs practice - especially when they scrunch the toothpaste tube rather than push from the end!
    There is a special place in hell for those people Haha!
    I always think if I commit again someone else is gonna come along who's nicer, or when I'm 30 in an office with all the dapper men and I'm married like what a waste :/
    Practice vs freedom hm


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    (Original post by marinaim)
    There is a special place in hell for those people Haha!
    I always think if I commit again someone else is gonna come along who's nicer, or when I'm 30 in an office with all the dapper men and I'm married like what a waste :/
    Practice vs freedom hm


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    You could just run into the guy of your dreams tomorrow though?

    Also, offices guys aren't like the ones in Mad Men mostly .
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    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    Your title really comes across as insulting..

    Personally I'm not career minded. I like what I do, but I'm not career driven. What I enjoy is being with my family, and I really want to have kids. I don't want to move away or get a degree, I'm much happier cooking, seeing my family, making people smile. For me, my priorities are being happy, having children, and making those around me smile.

    Getting a degree isn't something I want, neither is travelling, drinking, or sleeping with random people.


    That relationships under 25 can work. I've been with my boyfriend since I was 17
    I've put the word 'discuss' in the title...

    Ok, it's interesting hearing your point of view- it's weird though, I'd say those ambitions are similar to mine too- I enjoy seeing my family, making people smile etc, and i do want a family and children in the future - but I don't feel I need a relationship early on to accomplish all that..

    As for drinking and sleeping with random people, I don't think I ever mentioned wanting to do that?

    Yes relationships under 25 can work. They can. But at the expense of other things in life in my opinion.


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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    I think it's kind of sad when people see relationships as purely a means to an end- being married with kiddies and living happily ever after. I'm 23, have been with my girlfriend three years, but if we break up tomorrow, I won't think "oh no, I wasted three years of my life", I'll think "this ****ing sucks, but I had three great years".

    She makes me happy, and isn't that like the whole point of life? I've got degree, a job, gone travelling, being in a relationship doesn't have to hinder those things, it can help them. I'm the sort of person who can need a push to do things, and my girlfriend often provides that.

    I don't feel like I need to be in a relationship, in fact I thought I wouldn't get a girlfriend until I was older, until I met her and fell in love.

    The OP's tone is a bit irritating, just because they haven't just said "this is personally how I'm choosing to live my life", they've said most other people are pathetic, that they know best. People are different. Maybe being single when you're younger works for you, but not for everyone?
    Great reply, thanks. Yeah I'm not going to deny my tone has probably come across as quite condescending - I do apologise, but I did want to spark I discussion :P
    I guess it's because I've seen so many people ruin their chances at something or other because of a relationship. And I'm speaking dozens of people here.
    It's good to hear that you've been able to keep a good balance in life- in my experience, most people don't seem to be able to do that :/


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    (Original post by elpistolero7)
    You could just run into the guy of your dreams tomorrow though?

    Also, offices guys aren't like the ones in Mad Men mostly .
    Well I sure hope I bump into pierce Brosnan tomorrow and that's a different issue
    I can dream!


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    (Original post by marinaim)
    Well I sure hope I bump into pierce Brosnan tomorrow and that's a different issue
    I can dream!


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    He'll be like 70 when you're 30 though .

    Haha fair enough.
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    (Original post by elpistolero7)
    He'll be like 70 when you're 30 though .

    Haha fair enough.
    What's the problem there?!


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    (Original post by marinaim)
    What's the problem there?!


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    :rofl:. Touche.
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    I've been in a relationship for the last five years and we are both doing well at university and work (it's not an LDR either, we live apart but practically round the corner from each other), so the assumption you can't do these things and be in a relationship at the same time is incorrect. I see where you're coming from in that *some* young people are quick to jump in an out of relationships, argue and generally bring each other down, but it's unfair to put an arbitrary age boundary on it and say any relationships below that threshold are pointless. Hell, a lot of people are married and have children before the age of 25! I wouldn't exist if your ideas were the norm anyway, that's for sure.
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    (Original post by Rump Steak)
    I'm of the opinion that serious, committed relationships before reaching your mid-twenties are pointless. What's the point? People are literally wasting their time, and indeed their lives, being in relationships. And it's pathetic. The number of people breaking down, and claiming their lives have "fallen apart", and all this **** - why do people do it? You're young, you've got your whole life ahead of you? Why not use the time to earn some money, get a decent degree, travel the world, succeed in some way or another - why do you choose to waste your time with someone who you are almost definitely going to break up with (badly), and leave you feeling depressed and insecure for ages afterwards? I know loads of people who've done badly in exams, missed uni offers, job opportunities, the list goes on, because they've spent all their time focused on their relationship.

    I understand there are upsides, but you DON'T need to be in a relationship to get them;
    1. Spending time with someone you get on with: You've got friends/family for that. Why spend so much time with one person, when you could use your time better and use it to meet more people and make more close friends? Plenty of people I know have isolated themselves from their friends to be in a relationship, and once they've broken up, they've got none left to turn to.
    2. The sex - you don't have to be in a serious, time-consuming relationship for that - there's one night stands, or friends with benefits (if you want to be exclusive)
    3. Conforming to social expectation: "All my mates are in relationships, so I should be too". if you're in a relationship for this, you're a right pleb.

    Now, I'm not against relationships in general. It's just I believe they should be after Uni at least, or when people are stable and independent in their lives, because at least then there's a chance of a future together. (The 25 in the title was an arbitrary figure; take it with a pinch of salt). Before-Uni relationships very very rarely work out. So why put yourself through all that effort?
    (And finally, before anyone says I'm saying this because I'm bitter, I'm not. I've been in a few relationships; with people I've properly clicked with, and ended them because I hated the commitment; realising how many hours it was taking out of my life, and for what?)
    So answer me this TSR, why do people invest so much time, effort, emotion and money into something that invariably is going to end in tears anyway?
    I know this is a controversial opinion, but I feel I've given reasonable enough reasons to show why I don't think it's a ridiculous standpoint.
    Interesting standpoint - my view is really quite the opposite.
    The way you write there, is that relationships are a burden. I feel relationships bring happiness. Why can't you do well and have a good relationship as well? if it fails, who cares, you had fun and it was a great learning experience in order to make future relations work and be successful. If you do not have relationships because you think they are a burden, there is the chance that as you have avoided them in the past, you wont know how to make it work when you have one in the future.

    I'm getting my MSc in September and my girlfriend her PGCE... you don't have to be single to do well and enjoy life.

    You may be more 'successful' with regards to studies or a job... but that isn't really what life is about - its about having fulfilment - and for many of us, that involves having a partner.
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    I'm at a stage in my life where the concept of relationships makes me want to run a marathon to avoid it. :lol: Although I've essentially rendered myself undateable by getting a pixie cut, so it's all good I think it depends on the person, some people are in relationships because they want to be, and some of us aren't in relationships yet. Like you, I don't want to devote the time and emotional energy to someone, I know it wouldn't last because I don't have the patience for a relationship at the moment and frankly I'd be a dreadful girlfriend, I become a self-imposed hermit when it comes to revision or coursework, there's no way I'd put in the hours needed to make a relationship work. My parents didn't get together until they'd finished their undergraduate degrees. I'm in no rush. I imagine I'll grow out of my current lack of desire for a relationship eventually but I don't think people under 25 are wasting their time. Some relationships are clearly bad for the people involved because the people just don't suit each other, but equally there's loads of lovely relationships that make people happy. Each to their own.
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    (Original post by Rump Steak)
    I don't intend to put people down - perhaps I've come across as condescending of people in relationships, but I don't mean to - I'm just trying to emphasise a point here. I certainly wouldn't put people down or judge them on something which (most of the time) has absolutely no effect on me.
    Now when I say 'commitment', I meant 'time-commitment', and yes, I'd rather spend my time trying to reach my full potential. I'd rather earn a good degree, and focus on getting a decent job before getting into a serious relationship - what are your 'other priorities' then may I ask?



    That's great, but what exactly's your point here?

    When you say a good degree and a good job what do you mean? You want to be a billionaire entrepreneur or an Einstein? if not, then you certainly have time for a relationship before 25. Remember, you only live once, and that time isn't all that long - don't forget to enjoy it by chasing dreams of perfection.
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    When I look down upon my funeral in many year's time, I'd be more disappointed if I had no friends there than no loved ones, unless my friends died before me. That's not to say that I'd take my loved ones for granted but if you live your life with no time for friends, then it's a life wasted tbh.
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    I would die to be in a relationship but not everyone has that opportunity.
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    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    Your title really comes across as insulting..

    Personally I'm not career minded. I like what I do, but I'm not career driven. What I enjoy is being with my family, and I really want to have kids. I don't want to move away or get a degree, I'm much happier cooking, seeing my family, making people smile. For me, my priorities are being happy, having children, and making those around me smile.

    Getting a degree isn't something I want, neither is travelling, drinking, or sleeping with random people.


    That relationships under 25 can work. I've been with my boyfriend since I was 17
    How is the fact that you've been with your boyfriend for two years as a teenager proof that young relationships can work in general? Probably less than one percent of relationships between teenagers last longer than 10 years, if that. I don't agree with OP for the most part but surely you recognize that your extremely limited experience is not grounds to be ultra aggressive with everyone who poses an opposing view?


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    Why would you think that a relationship that ultimately fails is a waste of time?

    It's a bit like saying you shouldn't be friends with anyone who you may eventually grow apart from and lose touch with.

    It doesn't make any sense.
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    If women start looking for men at 25 then they are putting themselves in danger of being infertile by the time they settle down with a man and the chances of mutations and deformities increase a lot if the baby is born to a mother of 35 compared to a mother of 25.
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    (Original post by Top Queen)
    Why did you choose to get married at 19?
    love, cultural, financial and family reasons.

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    (Original post by Rump Steak)
    I don't intend to put people down - perhaps I've come across as condescending of people in relationships, but I don't mean to - I'm just trying to emphasise a point here. I certainly wouldn't put people down or judge them on something which (most of the time) has absolutely no effect on me.
    Now when I say 'commitment', I meant 'time-commitment', and yes, I'd rather spend my time trying to reach my full potential. I'd rather earn a good degree, and focus on getting a decent job before getting into a serious relationship - what are your 'other priorities' then may I ask?



    That's great, but what exactly's your point here?
    Good degree and decent job are possible within a relationship. My husband graduated with a very good degree and now has a great job. I'm graduating in July with a 2.1 and I started my degree around the time we started going out/living together.

    If you know the to manage your time then it's all possible.

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    I've always believed that every relationship you've been in enables you to learn something about the person you are and what you may want ultimately in a long term partner.

    I'd had 3 long term relationships by the time I was 25 and although there were things that happened in that time that I wouldn't wish to happen again it was still a valuable experience. That makes me sound soooooo old! I don't regret any of the happy times, sad times or the hearbreak because it has taken me to where I am now. Relationships are a massive and vital part of growing up. Sometimes you find the "one" straight away. One of my best friends has been with her Husband since she was 15 - her first relationship and they are amazing. Still so in love, with a beautiful family. For some of us it takes a little longer
 
 
 
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