Stay at home mum

You two sure don't waste any time.

We have been married nearly 3 years so we've waited.

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Part of the guilt is not starting to pay my student loans soon so I feel like a burden to society somehow, if that makes sense.

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Stay at home is so so easy. 1 you do not have to travel more than 15 metre 2 cleaning is a joke it's easy, I mastered it at the age of 8. 3 there are multiple classes and training for bringing up kids, literally it's a 1/10th of the work you put in to study a degree. 4 you have no boss. 5 you have food, toilet, tv and magazines at your side when you require it. 6 you have no targets or profit margins to think about. I could go on, the job is a joke and someone with the IQ range of a crumpet could do it.

It's absolutely your life and your choice. You say you won't be claiming benefits, so there's literally nobody on here who can judge you for it, because your decisions would not affect them at all.

However I'm not entirely certain that your attitude of "if I don't find anything by April we'll have a baby" lies easy with me. If you want a baby, have a baby. But don't make it sound as though it's a last resort..

That's not in any way getting at you, it's probably just the wording of it.

There's nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent, you'll certainly realise it's hard enough work when the time comes, so don't let anyone put you down about it if you want to do it.

Go for it. Stay at home mum is the easiest job in the world. It's practically a walk in the park (they have manuals on how to perfect it). I would love to be able to go through life without working but hey I am man. But if i was female i would 100% go for it

I'm not knocking you. You just both got married early and are now contemplating having children at a very young age (compared to rest of western society). Hence why you don't wait a around

Personally I would be terrified of having children this young but you two go for it. It is your choice after all.

I'm not knocking you. You just both got married early and are now contemplating having children at a very young age (compared to rest of western society). Hence why you don't wait a around

Personally I would be terrified of having children this young but you two go for it. It is your choice after all.

Eh, don't. The structure of the loans means a lot of people working won't pay them off (I certainly doubt I will) and your husband pays taxes

Hmm you probably have seen me posting around and about. I've got kids, I'm at home, I had my first one at 21, you know all that shizzle... if you wanna ask anything feel free to pm me.

(btw why would you be on bed rest?)

The only thing is if you're really certain you want the kid, rather than just doing it as a back up. Career wise obviously you'll be coming to grad schemes and stuff late, but then lots of people do after travelling and the like, the issue might be more that grad schemes generally assume you're young and free and have comensurate hours, be certain to make it clear you're unlikely to be able to work 60, 70, 80 hour weeks with any regularity.

Other than that your call, if you want to go for it, don't be a martyr about benefits either, child benefit is there for a reason, take it if you're eligible, though if your husband earns more than 50k beware there are tax implications. Also, given what you said before about your financial situation, think carefully about how solid the job is, how quickly he could find alternative similarly paid employment and what savings you have if your husband were to be made redundant at any point in the next 18-21 years.

Nothing wrong with it at all! Bear in mind that your child will be entitled to 15 hours of free nursery from 3, so that can be utilised to help you get back in the job market if you so wish - work experience, placements, short courses etc. Once you have the early years out of the way, you have so much more freedom to pursue your dream career and wont have the desire to have a child hanging over your head.

A lot of people seem to be, I've noticed people mature late these days compared to the past


OP sound good PM me if you want any advice/chat, as I have similar wants

so far he's on 35k but that's likely to go up in a years time and tax implications are certainly a worry. his job is solid, that much I know. and tbh he's been pretty good at his line of work that should he lose his job he would be able to get one immediately. we were in trouble financially before because we were students and had to move. most of the debt came from that tbh.

I think it's usually still worth getting child benefit, just until 50k it's an absolute no brainer, beyond that worth running the figures to see how it works out for you.

Yeah, I'm probably over cautious on redundancy as I see it every day, but then most people are I think overly blaise about it. A good idea for checking his prospects might be to ask a recruitment consultant in the field how quick they think he'd get a job, they might charge a minor fee but first consultations are usually free. No worries, just knew you'd mentioned you were on an IVA, incidentally might be worth asking your insolvency practitioner if you have reasonably regular contact and they're nice, after all it's their job to know your finances and what could affect them better than even you!

If you are already in the financial position to have kids I see no reason that you should have to arbitrarily wait a few years while you work before you have them, so I say go for it. Having children is obviously something that is important to you so there is no reason you should feel guilty about delaying work for it, especially since you have a husband to support you. The only reason I had a problem with Red One was because she had no intention of working despite not having a husband or kids, or even the imminent prospect of either, and for some reason still thinks that she is actually contributing to society somehow.

Completely agree with your situation. Go for it and good luck. Whereas I did not agree with Red one position(or most of what she says for that matter because of above-i mean she did not even have a boyfriend or husband? ^^^)

Haha nope, she didn't want a job because she would have less time to find a husband

we did ask and in their opinion he shouldn't have trouble getting another job if necessary. I probably should mention that in few months he's getting another qualification that makes him slightly more employable.

This is out of topic but what's the difference between IVA and debt management? we were told that there's a difference but not much..

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My question here is, how bad would it be that I would have a degree but I am choosing to delay starting my career to be a stay at home wife and mum?

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No judgment your life, your choice.
however I would not commit yourself to being a stay at home mother for 4-10yrs+ before you have even had children. The experience is so different to how you expect it to be, so much harder and lonelier, you may want to get back in to work sooner so make sure you just keep it as an option in your (and your husband's) head.

Ah sorry, thought you were in an IVA.

Disclaimer: They are similar from the debtor's point of view, but, at the risk of boring you to death...IVA is a more formal procedure which has to include all your creditors getting together and deciding it and is administered by an external insolvency practitioner. Debt management is more of a contracutal agreement between you and the bank, whereas an IVA includes certain statutory protections such as a 14 day stay on all repayments whilst you apply and having a third party decide the payment rates. There are also come technical things about certain creditors being forced by others which are totally irrelevant to the debtor.