What to do about housemates that are trying (but failing somewhat) to bully me? Watch

beccagood95
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#21
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The best people you can speak to are the people at uni. Hopefully your university has student support with some harassment advisors? I'd definitely go and speak to them, or if you're not sure who to go to, ask your tutor to send you in the right direction.
People like that shouldn't get away with it, I had a horrible housemate and didn't take action when I had the chance. :/
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brownbearxo
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#22
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(Original post by Bassetts)
Stopped reading here.

You're one of those girls. :facepalm2:
I really don't like you one bit. Go away please, I'm asking nicely

(Original post by KadeK)
I wouldn't exactly call this advice, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're in such a horrible situation. However, you seem like a really strong person so all credit to you. I'd be really perturbed if I was in your situation especially with the racism bit.

I like how you've confronted them on occasion. The fact that they can't be upfront with you shows that they are the ones that are intimidated (and have to resort to "behind your back" antics). So if anything, when it comes to "power" it's you that has it (IF that's any consolation for you)

I know it's not ideal, but if I was in your shoes, I'd continually confront them about it to keep them on their toes. The main thing is that you focus on your studies until you can leave.
Thanks! Prior to the racism I already thought she was a bit off, and I didn't know she had mental health issues. So when I heard I really wasn't surprised. I know if I tell my parents they will go utterly mad though, they're not as calm about such things as I am.

I confronted Ana multiple times, I don't think it is physiologically in me to do it even more. I'm one of those people who cries when angry, and once I'm crying I'm likely to get violent so I really don't want it to get to that stage. I will however stop playing along with their fake friendship, that should keep them on their toes, because thinking back I am being ridiculously laid back about this, especially the internet thing!


(Original post by Zürich)
You need to be very firm and basically rant at them that youre not going to take any more of their bull****, I'd probably imply physical violence. It'll create an atmosphere but they'll back down.

For a start they're stealing £5/month from you so you need to insist on getting the internet back.

Do you have any brothers?
I'm the oldest, my brothers are younger. I could get my guy friends to flip out on them but its really not me, Im more of a talk things though kind of girl. I don't know what to do about the £5 either

I was this close to hitting her today when she told me I was dirty, anyone who knows me would fall about laughing. I practically have OCD!


(Original post by beccagood95)
The best people you can speak to are the people at uni. Hopefully your university has student support with some harassment advisors? I'd definitely go and speak to them, or if you're not sure who to go to, ask your tutor to send you in the right direction.
People like that shouldn't get away with it, I had a horrible housemate and didn't take action when I had the chance. :/
Thats a good idea, plus I have an exam next week and I need the internet to study! Ill go see them on Monday, thank you.
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delicious one
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(Original post by brownbearxo)
No private accommodation sadly.
Perhaps get in touch with your landlord and offer to find a replacement for yourself. In the meantime, search for another flat share?

Alternatively, speak to your university about it? Perhaps they can help in some way.

Although this academic year is nearly over so perhaps you can just stick it out/spend a lot of time at a friend's?
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brownsugar-xx
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(Original post by awais-iqb)
How do you people live like this? If I was living with a bunch of strangers id make sure I kept a machete or sawn off shotgun under my bed
this made me lol hard
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AntiMate
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When they're out, go poop in their bed. Use the duvet to wipe yourself. Act oblivious when they ask who did it.
Job done.
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brownbearxo
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(Original post by delicious one)
Perhaps get in touch with your landlord and offer to find a replacement for yourself. In the meantime, search for another flat share?

Alternatively, speak to your university about it? Perhaps they can help in some way.

Although this academic year is nearly over so perhaps you can just stick it out/spend a lot of time at a friend's?
No my tenancy ends in a couple of months so it wouldn't make sense to leave.

I was considering moving to a friends yes, I just didn't want to be a nuisance to anyone. But it seems like the best option here. I'm also going to the Advice and Representation Centre on Monday. Thanks for your suggestions!
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DavidSilvaMCFC
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Do the guys not see what's happening? Won't they stand up for you?
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brownbearxo
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(Original post by AntiMate)
When they're out, go poop in their bed. Use the duvet to wipe yourself. Act oblivious when they ask who did it.
Job done.
Awesome plan, just one thing, how do you propose I get past their locked doors 007?
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member327593
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aww, OP I know how bad it is to live with a **** housemate. I think if you completely ignore shell eventaully get bored/give up

or play her own game and be a worse housemate :P:
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beccagood95
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(Original post by brownbearxo)



Thats a good idea, plus I have an exam next week and I need the internet to study! Ill go see them on Monday, thank you.
What would really help you is to gather any evidence you can.
If you haven't been able to keep any so far, if anything happens between now and when you go and see them, record it. Keep any notes, take pictures of things left in random places, printscreens of anything they've said via social media etc.
How do you pay the £5? Is it in cash or can you show a bank statement to show that you've been providing the £5 for the internet?
And also just write a basic list of all the problems you've had in a timeline, even if you don't have the evidence. Make sure you include everything that they've said that you've found offensive.
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brownbearxo
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(Original post by DavidSilvaMCFC)
Do the guys not see what's happening? Won't they stand up for you?
Theres one who actually alerted me to me being deliberately locked out of the internet, but he followed his email with a 'don't tell her It was me who told you' lol so no not him. The other two guys are not really about so I don't know if they see it. The final guy is pretty new and he's next door to Ana, so its likely she has fed him a load of lies about me already as he looks pretty scared around me these days. What a situation ayy
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Bassetts
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(Original post by brownbearxo)
I really don't like you one bit. Go away please, I'm asking nicely
It comes across as hating your own gender. :facepalm2: I've run into your type before 'oh I hate girls cos they are *****es and talk behind your back, I much prefer male company'. Judge people on their own merit, not on their gender.
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brownbearxo
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(Original post by beccagood95)
What would really help you is to gather any evidence you can.
If you haven't been able to keep any so far, if anything happens between now and when you go and see them, record it. Keep any notes, take pictures of things left in random places, printscreens of anything they've said via social media etc.
How do you pay the £5? Is it in cash or can you show a bank statement to show that you've been providing the £5 for the internet?
And also just write a basic list of all the problems you've had in a timeline, even if you don't have the evidence. Make sure you include everything that they've said that you've found offensive.
It was by standing order, I just cancelled it but its on my statements. I don't have the notes, I chucked them in the bin. I had some pretty nasty texts from her but I deleted them! I only have screenshots of a few where I was showing my friends her crazy behaviour. I'll try to upload them here actually to show how weird she was being... I feel like such an idiot for not keeping proof but I honestly only realised what they were doing last week.
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brownbearxo
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(Original post by Bassetts)
It comes across as hating your own gender. :facepalm2: I've run into your type before 'oh I hate girls cos they are *****es and talk behind your back, I much prefer male company'. Judge people on their own merit, not on their gender.
How does one block a person on here again? Your inane ramblings are annoying me way more than Ana and Sarah's notes. Being an intentional **** is not cute or endearing, your should really try another tack.
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beccagood95
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(Original post by brownbearxo)
It was by standing order, I just cancelled it but its on my statements. I don't have the notes, I chucked them in the bin. I had some pretty nasty texts from her but I deleted them! I only have screenshots of a few where I was showing my friends her crazy behaviour. I'll try to upload them here actually to show how weird she was being... I feel like such an idiot for not keeping proof but I honestly only realised what they were doing last week.
Yeah, when I first moved in it took me a while to notice that my housemates seemed to have an issue with me, but it's probably because you'd expect adults to be a bit more mature than that.

It's fine if you don't have everything, just keep what you can. Do you also have that email that alerted you to the email being blocked? Try and keep that one if you can! But the bank statements, your word and the screenshots should get SOMETHING done about it, so I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.
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awais-iqb
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(Original post by brownsugar-xx)
this made me lol hard
Now that I read it again does sound kinda funny XD, guess I wudnt be the best housemate
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DavidSilvaMCFC
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(Original post by brownbearxo)
Theres one who actually alerted me to me being deliberately locked out of the internet, but he followed his email with a 'don't tell her It was me who told you' lol so no not him. The other two guys are not really about so I don't know if they see it. The final guy is pretty new and he's next door to Ana, so its likely she has fed him a load of lies about me already as he looks pretty scared around me these days. What a situation ayy
sounds like cowardly little ****er.

You should talk to the other guys about it then. But don't make yourself sound *****y in the process. That might be hard to do, they might just think it's a "girls being girls" sort of thing
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beccagood95
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(Original post by Bassetts)
It comes across as hating your own gender. :facepalm2: I've run into your type before 'oh I hate girls cos they are *****es and talk behind your back, I much prefer male company'. Judge people on their own merit, not on their gender.
Why do you care who she makes friends with? I think that's her business, not yours...
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brownbearxo
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(Original post by DavidSilvaMCFC)
sounds like cowardly little ****er.

You should talk to the other guys about it then. But don't make yourself sound *****y in the process. That might be hard to do, they might just think it's a "girls being girls" sort of thing
Lol he's just a very peaceful guy, but I know his heart is in the right place for telling me and he also objected to the notes. He just didn't actually do anything about them!

It will come across as that though, and what can they do really? I don't think involving them will help, I keep to myself so I can't tell whether Ana and Sarah have said things first.
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ChickenMadness
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(Original post by brownbearxo)
Theres one who actually alerted me to me being deliberately locked out of the internet, but he followed his email with a 'don't tell her It was me who told you' lol so no not him. The other two guys are not really about so I don't know if they see it. The final guy is pretty new and he's next door to Ana, so its likely she has fed him a load of lies about me already as he looks pretty scared around me these days. What a situation ayy
Eh that sucks that you have a bunch of weak willed men living there.

This is the type of situation where you need a proper male to tell the girls to stop being *****es. They tend to not argue much with guys if they act dominant about it and don't take any ****. Try and get one of the others to sort them out.
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