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My boyfriends parents are racist. What can I do. watch

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    (Original post by missfats)
    Sad time for all the black girls who like asians.


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    (Original post by MidnightDream)
    Oh hunny I'm sorry to say that they may never come around but I hope with all my heart they will :yep:
    (Original post by donutaud15)
    Hate to say this but knowing Asian parents they will never come around.

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    (Original post by tehforum)
    Stereotypes are perpetuated from generation to generation.

    It'll take some time to change those pervasive attitudes.
    (Original post by blablabla321)
    I doubt there is anything you can do to change what they think of you and the way they act towards you. Your username made me laugh though .
    (Original post by jay2013)
    Welcome to the Indian community

    It may have been 2 years, but honestly his parents may never accept you.
    (Original post by HashimKF)
    Yeah, a lot of the older generation are still racist. At the end of the day, if you're still with him after 2 years, it must be a strong relationship. Just ignore them and start saving up for you guys to move out (if that's in your future plans.)

    Tbh I can't believe your boyfriend hasn't told them to shut up after 2 years though. I would have a right go at my parents if I found out they were racist towards a girlfriend of mine.
    (Original post by Afghan Warrior)
    Sorry but your username sums it all up lol. On a serious note tho, I feel for you. Most Asian parents are a bit backwards like that but what can we do. Does he genuinely love you? Why doesn't he convince his parents that he's serious about you so then that way they'll be okay with it? At the end of the day you can't be with someone if their family doesnt like you. He needs to step up and fight for you.

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    Thanks all, I'm just running out of strength, I hate being hated because of the colour of my skin, I was born this way, yet they hate me for it and they don't want yoh cchange and they don't want to accept anything I give
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    (Original post by Indian boyfriend)
    Yes we are both different religions too
    Can i ask what religions?

    Honestly, the only way this will work is if your boyfriend stands up for himself and you. Is he quite wishy washy?
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    It just pisses me off when parents intervene !!
    Its best to keep going strong and show them your not backing down.
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    (Original post by AlexKay99)
    It just pisses me off when parents intervene !!
    Its best to keep going strong and show them your not backing down.
    Its hard, ive had to do it for two years and it's just become worse, I'm trying to find outshot I can do

    (Original post by brownsugar-xx)
    Can i ask what religions?

    Honestly, the only way this will work is if your boyfriend stands up for himself and you. Is he quite wishy washy?
    He does and EVERYTIME he does they knock him down
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    (Original post by Indian boyfriend)
    Its hard, ive had to do it for two years and it's just become worse, I'm trying to find outshot I can do



    He does and EVERYTIME he does they knock him down
    That's a shame, at least you know he's fighting for you. If it's been 2 years then that shows he must love you. Has he ever threatened them with leaving?
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    (Original post by brownsugar-xx)
    That's a shame, at least you know he's fighting for you. If it's been 2 years then that shows he must love you. Has he ever threatened them with leaving?
    How could he do this? They'd know he is joking as he's 19
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    (Original post by Indian boyfriend)
    How could he do this? They'd know he is joking as he's 19
    Even if he moves in with a friend for a bit, or you, it could be enough for them to take him seriously and get off your backs. You guys could obviously wait until he becomes financially stable to get his own place, but how long will that take? and can you last that long?

    Obviously this is just advice, based on personal experiences.
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    Tbh some people are saying 'he should just move out'.... i know plenty of asian families who have completely abandoned their sons over such things....

    Tbh my grandmother would be the same if I saw a asian/black girl. At the end of the day it's something 'he' has to sort out with his family.
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    (Original post by brownsugar-xx)
    Even if he moves in with a friend for a bit, or you, it could be enough for them to take him seriously and get off your backs. You guys could obviously wait until he becomes financially stable to get his own place, but how long will that take? and can you last that long?

    Obviously this is just advice, based on personal experiences.
    Have you been through this before?
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    Just be horrible about it back

    Or record them being racist and send it to their employers/friends/family/colleges that would serve them right

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    This breaks my heart
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    (Original post by Indian boyfriend)
    Have you been through this before?
    Kind of, it wasn't about over a relationship though.
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    The thing about Asian parents is that they care WAY too much about family reputation, and all that BS. & that's the reality you need to face and hopefully overcome, especially if you are hoping to marry into that family. All you can try and do is show them how loyal and faithful you are, and also to just gain trust from them. Over time they will realize, as you have been with him for a while but the mentality of South Asian families is backwards and rather wrong, which is a cultural aspect you can't really change - just something you need to deal with. It's not necessarily racism, as they don't hate you because of your skin colour. It's due to the way they have been brought up in a family based predominantly of the same culture, and type of people e.g. the same caste, family background, etc. And they don't like change, they expect their family to continue how they have lived their life in India and whatnot, but will soon understand the diversity of England! Don't worry, they'll get used to it. Just sustain your relationship with your other half and that's all that matters. Also, does religion play a part in this too?
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    (Original post by brownsugar-xx)
    Kind of, it wasn't about over a relationship though.
    Do you mind sharing it?
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    (Original post by Solemn Rain)
    This breaks my heart
    It hurts me so much, I've just had enough..
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    (Original post by SerLorasTyrell)
    Just be horrible about it back

    Or record them being racist and send it to their employers/friends/family/colleges that would serve them right

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    they hate me but I don't hate them..
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    (Original post by Indian boyfriend)
    Do you mind sharing it?
    If you want i can PM you it
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    (Original post by salmagaf)
    The thing about Asian parents is that they care WAY too much about family reputation, and all that BS. & that's the reality you need to face and hopefully overcome, especially if you are hoping to marry into that family. All you can try and do is show them how loyal and faithful you are, and also to just gain trust from them. Over time they will realize, as you have been with him for a while but the mentality of South Asian families is backwards and rather wrong, which is a cultural aspect you can't really change - just something you need to deal with. It's not necessarily racism, as they don't hate you because of your skin colour. It's due to the way they have been brought up in a family based predominantly of the same culture, and type of people e.g. the same caste, family background, etc. And they don't like change, they expect their family to continue how they have lived their life in India and whatnot, but will soon understand the diversity of England! Don't worry, they'll get used to it. Just sustain your relationship with your other half and that's all that matters. Also, does religion play a part in this too?
    THnks soooooo much, you've really helped me x
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    (Original post by brownsugar-xx)
    If you want i can PM you it
    Yes please x
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    Its the culture. Its quite racist they assume black people are criminals and rowdy and dangerous.

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