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How can I rebel against my parents? Watch

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    (Original post by louieee)
    Sounds like the opposite to me, I mean he/she can't even choose their own clothes :s
    I doubt that, probably just has to wear more modest clothes than she wants - but if she gets a job and pays for her own clothes then she can buy and wear what she wants. If she expects someone else to pay for everything for her then she is being spoilt.
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    (Original post by parentlurker)
    I doubt that, probably just has to wear more modest clothes than she wants - but if she gets a job and pays for her own clothes then she can buy and wear what she wants. If she expects someone else to pay for everything for her then she is being spoilt.
    to spoil: (transitive) to weaken the character of (a child) by complying unrestrainedly with its desires

    Personally, I don't think OPs' paragraph even slightly hints towards this
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    (Original post by parentlurker)
    I doubt that, probably just has to wear more modest clothes than she wants - but if she gets a job and pays for her own clothes then she can buy and wear what she wants. If she expects someone else to pay for everything for her then she is being spoilt.
    You're a fanny.
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    I am the OP. I think I may have found a way (although its very long term). The course I'll do at uni, turns out also offers another same course but with One extra year of studying abroad. It depends on whether the uni will allow me to change my course.
    I know if I bring this out to my parents they'll straight reject this, but I have now made this my plan. I have taken a note that I should act more like an adult. My desired course is as follows - 2 years in uni, third year abroad and final year back in uni.
    So if I get a job in these two years, and act sincerely I am sure my parents will allow me, they ought to. Otherwise I will tell them, you always talk about how you studied abroad, were independent at young age and yet when I want to do the same, you say I'm being spoilt?
    I know I am a very exemplary child. I have always been perfect. All my uncle, aunts etc wish I was their child. Maybe that's why my parents have gotten used to it, and can't see me change and want me to stay a cute-young-daddy's-girl forever.
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    (Original post by synthesis)
    I am the OP. I think I may have found a way (although its very long term). The course I'll do at uni, turns out also offers another same course but with One extra year of studying abroad. It depends on whether the uni will allow me to change my course.
    I know if I bring this out to my parents they'll straight reject this, but I have now made this my plan. I have taken a note that I should act more like an adult. My desired course is as follows - 2 years in uni, third year abroad and final year back in uni.
    So if I get a job in these two years, and act sincerely I am sure my parents will allow me, they ought to. Otherwise I will tell them, you always talk about how you studied abroad, were independent at young age and yet when I want to do the same, you say I'm being spoilt?
    I know I am a very exemplary child. I have always been perfect. All my uncle, aunts etc wish I was their child. Maybe that's why my parents have gotten used to it, and can't see me change and want me to stay a cute-young-daddy's-girl forever.
    really all it takes is doing what you want to do more rather than letting them control you, it doesn't take any major revolt. As long as you remain considerate, there's really not a problem
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    (Original post by louieee)
    really all it takes is doing what you want to do more rather than letting them control you, it doesn't take any major revolt. As long as you remain considerate, there's really not a problem
    Haha maybe you haven't experienced what having strict parents is really like. They hate everything you like, no matter what. There's no point in trying to win over them.
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    (Original post by synthesis)
    Haha maybe you haven't experienced what having strict parents is really like. They hate everything you like, no matter what. There's no point in trying to win over them.
    well I'm sorry to hear that :c
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    I wouldn't suggest rebelling, but isn't 18 the legal age to move out? If you can afford it, move out! At least temporary, and then when your ready sit with your parents and talk to them about how you feel. Hopefully they will understand your feeling and yous can try to work around it.


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    (Original post by consumed by stuff)
    You could suck 24 guys off for a holliday that doesn't exist.
    Bravo. Although to clarify I've seen the video it wasn't that good.
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    Make a fake family tree and "find" a member with an I'll repute and blackmail to freedom ....by I'll repute ..go the whole hog....ask others for suggestion...love child with caste issues...with veneral disease and substance abuse while in prison for Gmmoney laundering
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    (Original post by louieee)
    to spoil: (transitive) to weaken the character of (a child) by complying unrestrainedly with its desires

    Personally, I don't think OPs' paragraph even slightly hints towards this
    I could find a dozen other definitions e.g. harm the character of (a child) by being too lenient or indulgent.

    The point is - she's 18 and legally an adult. So if she wants to support herself then she can do what she pleases. However she isn't doing that. She wants to live at home, to have mummy and daddy provide for her as if she were a child still and not stand on her own two feet but she doesn't want to live by their rules in their home. Nor does it sound like she has sat down with them and talked through rationally what she wants to do and why it is important to her. Part of being an adult is learning to compromise, to accept that sometimes you do what other people want and that where there are differences you try to negotiate. If she starts to act like an adult instead of a child her parents should start to see her as an adult and give her more freedom. If they don't she moves out.
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    (Original post by parentlurker)
    I could find a dozen other definitions e.g. harm the character of (a child) by being too lenient or indulgent.

    The point is - she's 18 and legally an adult. So if she wants to support herself then she can do what she pleases. However she isn't doing that. She wants to live at home, to have mummy and daddy provide for her as if she were a child still and not stand on her own two feet but she doesn't want to live by their rules in their home. Nor does it sound like she has sat down with them and talked through rationally what she wants to do and why it is important to her. Part of being an adult is learning to compromise, to accept that sometimes you do what other people want and that where there are differences you try to negotiate. If she starts to act like an adult instead of a child her parents should start to see her as an adult and give her more freedom. If they don't she moves out.
    She sounds quite mature to me personally, so I think her parents should already be treating her like the adult she clearly is. That mummy/daddy part is really quite patronizing, OP doesn't come across as being spoilt or arrogant so I'm not quite sure why you're being so rude to her. I'm not going to argue with you about whether OP should leave home or not because OP has already said that she wanted to anyway, but actually just because she's living in their house doesn't mean they shouldn't treat her like a person. I can only assume her parents want what's best for their child, but they might need a hand learning exactly how to go about doing that (which is where the 'rebellion' comes in).

    And btw, even the definition you gave of 'to spoil' doesn't fit in with what the parents are doing
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    Join the porn industry
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    (Original post by louieee)
    She sounds quite mature to me personally, so I think her parents should already be treating her like the adult she clearly is. That mummy/daddy part is really quite patronizing, OP doesn't come across as being spoilt or arrogant so I'm not quite sure why you're being so rude to her. I'm not going to argue with you about whether OP should leave home or not because OP has already said that she wanted to anyway, but actually just because she's living in their house doesn't mean they shouldn't treat her like a person. I can only assume her parents want what's best for their child, but they might need a hand learning exactly how to go about doing that (which is where the 'rebellion' comes in).

    And btw, even the definition you gave of 'to spoil' doesn't fit in with what the parents are doing
    As your posts on this thread are immature you don't appear to be a suitable judge. To suggest they aren't treating her as a "person" is very childish. They are treating her as a child but she isn't acting as an adult.

    Her parents are providing her with food, clothing, a roof over her head, financial support at university - and doing what they believe is best for a child, because to their mind she is still a child. She needs to have a discussion with them about why that is not what she wants, why she needs to be allowed to make her own decisions (even if they turn out to be mistakes) and why their view of what is best for her may not be best for her. Rebelling for the sake of it is not the action of an adult.

    OP while going abroad for a year may be good for you it isn't a decision you should take just because you can't face having a discussion with your parents. You say you have supportive relatives so enlist one or more of them to soften up your parents by talking to them about the need to provide children with increasing amounts of freedom. Get a job and then spend your money on clothing or your choice. Buy sensibly, nothing too outrageous at first. If there are events, like your prom, you wish to attend have a discussion with them about why you wish to attend, what their concerns are and how you can compromise - like letting them collect you at a reasonable time and being sober when they collect you. If they still don't want you to go say politely but firmly that you intend to go anyway and it is time to let you take more control over your life. Your parents seek to protect you but that is keeping you as a child and not letting you grow up. Sooner or later you have to find the courage to just do something they disapprove of and face up to their disapproval. You don't need to move out or go abroad to do that but you are making it sound as if you could only find that courage if you were physically apart.
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    (Original post by synthesis)
    I am 18 and starting uni soon. During Alevels, I thought going to uni would be the perfect excuse to finally move out, but unfortunately due to being rejected by unis, I am now going to uni in my town. So basically I'm gonna be living with my parents.
    I'm Asian so my parents are strict as hell. I couldn't go to prom, they raise their eyebrows when I want to go out with friends, I always have to wear what THEY want and so on.
    But now I want things to change, I want to let them know those oppressing values don't work on me. When I join uni, I want to change and rebel.

    My other relatives are pretty chilled out so if my parents start to complain too much about the new me, I'm just gonna tell about their forceful attitude to my relatives and they will do something about it.

    But how can I start?

    Edit: I am a girl thought I'd say... some were suggesting to get a gf
    Don't worry. I'll talk to them.
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    (Original post by parentlurker)
    As your posts on this thread are immature you don't appear to be a suitable judge. To suggest they aren't treating her as a "person" is very childish. They are treating her as a child but she isn't acting as an adult.

    Her parents are providing her with food, clothing, a roof over her head, financial support at university - and doing what they believe is best for a child, because to their mind she is still a child. She needs to have a discussion with them about why that is not what she wants, why she needs to be allowed to make her own decisions (even if they turn out to be mistakes) and why their view of what is best for her may not be best for her. Rebelling for the sake of it is not the action of an adult.

    OP while going abroad for a year may be good for you it isn't a decision you should take just because you can't face having a discussion with your parents. You say you have supportive relatives so enlist one or more of them to soften up your parents by talking to them about the need to provide children with increasing amounts of freedom. Get a job and then spend your money on clothing or your choice. Buy sensibly, nothing too outrageous at first. If there are events, like your prom, you wish to attend have a discussion with them about why you wish to attend, what their concerns are and how you can compromise - like letting them collect you at a reasonable time and being sober when they collect you. If they still don't want you to go say politely but firmly that you intend to go anyway and it is time to let you take more control over your life. Your parents seek to protect you but that is keeping you as a child and not letting you grow up. Sooner or later you have to find the courage to just do something they disapprove of and face up to their disapproval. You don't need to move out or go abroad to do that but you are making it sound as if you could only find that courage if you were physically apart.
    okay, well you clearly understood what I'm saying due to your excellent judging skills then
 
 
 
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