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Annoyed (and a little upset) by what a male friend said. Watch

    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by iheartplums)
    To cut a long story short, yesterday I was in the passage-way of my friend's house (I'll call her Katie). A male friend (I'll call him John) was in the living room with 2 other guys who live with Katie ( I know the 2 guys but wouldn't class them as "friends").

    The door was shut so I'm guessing they didn't know I was outside (Katie was in the loo and I was waiting downstairs for her so we could leave the house to go where we wanted). Then one of the guys in the living room says "Do you fancy [insert my name]" to which John responds with "Not really but I'd probably give her a go".

    It pissed me off. I have never looked at him in a sexual way and I expected better from him tbh. He could have just responded with a simple "no" without the last part - what a **** thing to say! I can even understand speaking like that about some girl you hardly know but not about someone that you're supposed to be ****ing friends with - it's just plain disrespectful. Grrr I know it's a silly stupid comment but it's been annoying me all day.
    You should have opened the door to the living room and told John there's no chance in hell you'd get with him lol. The looks on their faces upon realising that you heard everything would have been priceless.
    Plus john would have been embarrassed and he'd probably think twice before saying something like that again in the future
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    You are too sensitive lol

    He just wanted to sound impressive.
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    You're offended because a guy said he would have sex with you? How dare he


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    In all honesty Plums I've known a couple of men to say similar things about girls that they do in fact fancy. He prob likes you and was just trying to act 'cool' in front of his friends. Besides, you're a hottie
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    (Original post by CJKay)
    Except that isn't what he said at all and it takes some twisted sort of logic to get to that conclusion.
    You clearly don't understand the implications of saying something along the lines of "X is unattractive but I'd still go there" :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    You're saying it's rude for people to have relationships more than just friendship with an ugly person? wut?
    Das not it brah.

    If a girl said that about me, I'd take that as meaning that she didn't find me physically attractive, but would be willing if the opportunity came up to "use me" (hence why she'd "probably give me a go") for a relationship/sex/whatever, and pretend she found me attractive. i.e. it's saying that you don't consider someone fit but you'd still try to sleep with them.
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    (Original post by Neckbeard Fedora)
    You clearly don't understand the implications of saying something along the lines of "X is unattractive but I'd still go there" :rolleyes:
    He was asked if he fancied her, and he replied "no, but I'd give her a go". Good job on that key stage 2 literacy test by the way - you've almost got it!
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    (Original post by Neckbeard Fedora)
    You clearly don't understand the implications of saying something along the lines of "X is unattractive but I'd still go there" :rolleyes:
    He didn't say she was unattractive. He said he doesn't fancy her, which is a completely different thing.
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    (Original post by iammeyouareyou)
    In all honesty Plums I've known a couple of men to say similar things about girls that they do in fact fancy. He prob likes you and was just trying to act 'cool' in front of his friends. Besides, you're a hottie
    This. I've said stuff like that before lol. Some of us don't want to talk about who we like/dislike. So we give answers like the one in the OP to brush it off. People blab and it's annoying.

    Edit: Also not everyone is desperate for a relationship and just go with the flow. So they're not bothered either way whether a girl wants a relationship or whatever.
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    (Original post by VladThe1mpaler)
    He didn't say she was unattractive. He said he doesn't fancy her, which is a completely different thing.
    Yeah they are not exactly the same, but saying that you don't fancy someone is basically saying that you personally find them unattractive. Added to the "I'd still give her a go" part, though, it's saying that "they're not fit IMO but I'd still bang them/try it on with them if I got the chance." Kind of like "they're only good for one thing - and not even good-looking in my opinion either."

    C'mon guys, we've all heard this sort of statement before and know what it means.
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    (Original post by Neckbeard Fedora)
    Yeah they are not exactly the same, but saying that you don't fancy someone is basically saying that you personally find them unattractive. Added to the "I'd still give her a go" part, though, it's saying that "they're not fit IMO but I'd still bang them/try it on with them if I got the chance." Kind of like "they're only good for one thing - and not even good-looking in my opinion either."

    C'mon guys, we've all heard this sort of statement before and know what it means.
    Paranoia and poor perception makes a nasty mix.
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    (Original post by Neckbeard Fedora)
    Yeah they are not exactly the same, but saying that you don't fancy someone is basically saying that you personally find them unattractive. Added to the "I'd still give her a go" part, though, it's saying that "they're not fit IMO but I'd still bang them/try it on with them if I got the chance." Kind of like "they're only good for one thing - and not even good-looking in my opinion either."

    C'mon guys, we've all heard this sort of statement before and know what it means.
    Since the OP said they were friends, we can assume he only sees her as a friend. He doesn't fancy her because they are friends but objectively he knows she is attractive and that's why he tells his friends that he would have still have sex with her.

    I think every man on the planet must have said something similar to his mates about a female friend. No one says to their mates "she's ugly but I'd still shag her" unless they want to come across as having very low standards..
    • #2
    #2

    Some men like to posture and pretend they can get any woman they want when in fact they would be grateful for ANY woman, actually let's strike that female depending upon how drunk and kebab filled they were. Perhaps the next time you are in earshot of the boys you could loudly say something similar with one of your girl friends (having prearranged it with her first, not just randomly otherwise she'd think you'd have gone totally mental) and watch for the reaction. I guarantee they will be giving you a wide berth and looking at you askance from then on... Either that or it might be the start of an interesting friendship...
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    Ok that might annoy me a little in the very short-term but honestly some of the reactions are here are so OTT.
    People talk about other people, that's the truth. Anyone who says they don't is a liar, and NO I don't mean necessarily '*****ing' about them. There are far worse things to be said.
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    You're offended because somebody said that they'd sleep with you? Idk I'd take it as a compliment, sounds like you fancy him and are just annoyed he apparently would only want sex from you.
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    He didn't say anything wrong IMO. Chill.
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    'Tis only banter
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    Lol this thread.. what.

    I bet he meant exactly what he said. That is, he wouldn't want to date you, but would enjoy having sex with you nonetheless. I think this because literally every guy I've ever known would have/has said something like that truthfully.

    Why be offended, anyway? If that offends you then I'd strike out a serious most of men as friends...
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    I really don't understand why you're angry. If a female friendzones a male, then the male goes 'unrated'. But with males, all females have a rating, whether they're friends or not. An easy way to judge attractiveness would be ****ability. So he kinda finds you attractive. I don't understand what the problem, it's not like he knew you were listening? (One time at my old school, I walked past a corridor with passing 3 girls sat down. They all stated a number out of 10, loudly so I could hear it too. One of the little rats gave me a 3. I was fuming).
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    Wait what? How is this something to be pissed about? I'd take it as a compliment...
 
 
 
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