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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He works full time and I work part time and as I'm a 17 year old student the only time I can work is on a Sunday as I am a competitive gymnast and train all day Saturdays and am in full time education every weekday!
    Ok, do you have any friends at work who could talk to him? I was friends with a guy that kept flirting with a girl he worked with and was convinced she had feelings for him. Then some guys he also worked with came up to him and politely told him that he was making her feel uncomfortable and she just wasn't interested.

    If he makes any comments that make you feel uncomfortable, like comments on your appearance, just say 'sorry, but you're making me feel uncomfortable'. He might not realise he's doing it. I work with a kind of creepy guy who makes some very obnoxious comments at times. He doesn't realise he's being a tool.
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    I find it weird that you see yourself as a child. You keep mentioning your age, as if you were a 6 year old child...you're not a child. At 17, you're a fully grown adult for God's sake. You're not a kid! And I don't understand what's so shocking about a man who is in his 40s or 50s. People sometimes tend to place way too much emphasis on or attach too much significance to age.
    I'm not technically an adult until I'm 18. So, your telling me that if a man 35+ years older than you decides to make inappropriate comments towards you and makes you feel uncomfortable you'd consider it normal? Surely not!
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    some people might appear unusual, they may have odd traits or mannerisms, things like that. I don't get uncomfortable around them, I don't try to analyse them. why are people so paranoid and scared of people just because they have a lopsided smile or look a certain way or talk in a particular kind of way.
    because to be quite honest its odd and usually an indicator of poorly developed social skills.

    most of the rapist murderer pedophile creepy weirdos i've ever seen i have just totally not been surprised by looking at them.

    the guy is obviously hitting on her and knows its inappropriate and wrong but still can't help himself.

    - your hair looks very nice today
    innocent enough. but odd and out of place if you don't know or talk to each other. plus the tone can illustrate if its a chirpy happy passing comment or a slowly over thought out intense lustered comment.

    - your pretty
    thats inappropriate

    - hows your boyfriend
    wanting to get information. pretty much all guys do this even the non creepy ones

    - do you have a boyfriend
    why does he need to know? he's asking if shes single. why? cause he wants to be her boyfriend. thats inappropriate.

    - I'm not hitting on you honest
    he wouldnt have to say that if he hadnt made it so obvious in the first place.

    - You're very beautiful -
    again inappropriate

    How old are you? -
    as a question not a problem. from a stranger who has a history of saying creepy stuff. yea thats creepy and inappropriate.

    What do you do in college?
    this is fine. but at this stage if i was her i wouldnt want to tell him a single thing.

    im guessing your a bit of a weirdo too since like you dont get this.

    have you had a girlfriend before? if so would you feel comfortable if another guy was talking to her like that?
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    (Original post by syrettd)
    Ok, do you have any friends at work who could talk to him? I was friends with a guy that kept flirting with a girl he worked with and was convinced she had feelings for him. Then some guys he also worked with came up to him and politely told him that he was making her feel uncomfortable and she just wasn't interested.

    If he makes any comments that make you feel uncomfortable, like comments on your appearance, just say 'sorry, but you're making me feel uncomfortable'. He might not realise he's doing it. I work with a kind of creepy guy who makes some very obnoxious comments at times. He doesn't realise he's being a tool.
    I have mentioned him to them but they all say ignore him (obviously they are much older than me and are used to him as they have been in the business for years)

    Thankyou for the advice!
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    some people might appear unusual, they may have odd traits or mannerisms, things like that. I don't get uncomfortable around them, I don't try to analyse them. why are people so paranoid and scared of people just because they have a lopsided smile or look a certain way or talk in a particular kind of way.
    because rape and sexual assault is a common crime. a long with violence.

    and as human beings we have pretty good and complex filters for noticing someone with predatory intent.

    its survival instincts and we can pick up on someone who is unstable odd and possibly a threat.
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    (Original post by fojodef)
    because to be quite honest its odd and usually an indicator of poorly developed social skills.

    most of the rapist murderer pedophile creepy weirdos i've ever seen i have just totally not surprised by looking at them.

    the guy is obviously hitting on her and knows its inappropriate and wrong but still can't help himself.

    - your hair looks very nice today
    innocent enough. but odd and out of place if you don't know or talk to each other. plus the tone can illustrate if its a chirpy happy passing comment or a slowly over thought out intense lustered comment.

    - your pretty
    thats inappropriate

    - hows your boyfriend
    wanting to get information. pretty much all guys do this even the non creepy ones

    - do you have a boyfriend
    why does he need to know? he's asking if shes single. why? cause he wants to be her boyfriend. thats inappropriate.

    - I'm not hitting on you honest
    he wouldnt have to say that if he hadnt made it so obvious in the first place.

    - You're very beautiful -
    again inappropriate

    How old are you? -
    as a question not a problem. from a stranger who has a history of saying creepy stuff. yea thats creepy and inappropriate.

    What do you do in college?
    this is fine. but at this stage if i was her i wouldnt want to tell him a single thing.

    im guessing your a bit of a weirdo too since like you dont get this.

    have you had a girlfriend before? if so would you feel comfortable if another guy was talking to her like that?
    Thankyou for standing up for me! And all of what you have said illustrates my point!
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    ye he is just trying to make conversation lol.
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    Is Dave* really Martyn* ?

    But yeah does sound pretty creepy to be honest..
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    by the way is the guy eastern european/ arab?
    i have a feeling he is its the kind of stuff they're known for doing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey! I work in a restaurant as a waitress and there's this man who works in the kitchen and he creeps me out! My first few weeks he didn't say anything to me but for the past 2-3 months every time I work (once a week) he makes remarks at me that I find uncomfortable and creepy! The things he has said to me are:

    - your hair looks very nice today
    - your pretty
    - hows your boyfriend
    - do you have a boyfriend
    - I'm not hitting on you honest
    - You're very beautiful
    - How old are you?
    - What do you do in college?


    People said he's just trying to make conversation but its creepy the way he smiles at me like a clown and just stands there and stares at me!

    The other kitchen staff has said things to him like "*name* she's way out your league mate"

    He's also got this consistent question of "how is Dave*" and I have no clue who this Dave* is but he asks me constantly and when I tell him I have no idea who he is he goes "okay, well tell him I said hi" WTF!

    The things he asks just makes me feel uncomfortable and creeps me out! Is this normal for a man to say this to me? He's about 40-55 in age (I have no idea!) and I'm a 17 year old girl! Am I over reacting about this and he's just being friendly or does this seem creepy to others?

    * - Name has been changed

    He's trying to be friendly, at the same time, he has a weird creepy way of showing it. You could talk to him and get to know him a little without being scared? One of my friends had a similar thing, and when she talked to him a little, she found that he had a daughter the same age as her and was just showing interest! Talk also to your work colleagues and see what they think about him, this may genuinely be how he acts.

    I don't think you should make a big deal out of it, tell your manager or leave work or anything. He genuinely hasn't done anything besides make you feel a bit unsettled, and you don't really know his intentions to feel like that anyway.
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    How do you respond to him, are you polite and smile or do you more or less ignore him?


    Because I'd say ignore him, obviously reply when he asks you something but keep it really short and don't give him eye contact. He might get the message and leave you alone, if not, inform the manager.
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    some people might appear unusual, they may have odd traits or mannerisms, things like that. I don't get uncomfortable around them, I don't try to analyse them. why are people so paranoid and scared of people just because they have a lopsided smile or look a certain way or talk in a particular kind of way.
    this though. He might have asperges or something.


    OP you haven't really mentioned anything you've said to him. Does he just talk at you and you ignore him? lol if thats what happens.
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    (Original post by iEatMuFFiNS)
    Is Dave* really Martyn* ?

    But yeah does sound pretty creepy to be honest..
    No it's not Martyn haha

    (Original post by fojodef)
    by the way is the guy eastern european/ arab?
    i have a feeling he is its the kind of stuff they're known for doing.
    No, He's white British

    (Original post by TolerantBeing)
    How do you respond to him, are you polite and smile or do you more or less ignore him? Because I'd say ignore him, obviously reply when he asks you something but keep it really short and don't give him eye contact. He might get the message and leave you alone, if not, inform the manager.
    It depends on what he asks me! If he asks me something I feel uncomfortable about I just walk away! If he says "hows you" I reply fine and then leave and "your hairs nice" i reply thanks and then leave

    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    this though. He might have asperges or something.


    OP you haven't really mentioned anything you've said to him. Does he just talk at you and you ignore him? lol if thats what happens.
    Maybe? & I just give short answers or ignore him! Like if he asks how I am i just say fine and then leave or if he says something like "hows your boyfriend" or "hows Dave*" i just walk away
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    I find it weird that you see yourself as a child. You keep mentioning your age, as if you were a 6 year old child...you're not a child. At 17, you're a fully grown adult for God's sake. You're not a kid, sorry to have to break the news! And I don't understand what's so shocking about a man who is in his 40s or 50s. People sometimes tend to place way too much emphasis on or attach too much significance to age.
    I'm not totally unsympathetic to your point of view - I know what it's like when people confuse 'unattractive' with 'creepy'.

    However, I do think age matters here. A 45 year old woman and a 17 year old boy would also be creepy. The reason is that your life experience is just so different - I know some people develop late, and a 45 year old can often feel like a teenager, but a 17 year old looks and sounds like a child to me, at 21, so at 45 it must be even worse. You're not a kid (and to reflect this, it's not against the law), but you are still immature, vulnerable, inexperienced, and, frankly, not very interesting personality-wise. A 45 year old who goes after a 17 year old is almost certainly interested in the physical aspect, or has an under-developed personality themselves.

    Also, as harsh as it is, nobody should approach someone who clearly rejects their advances, whatever the relevant parties' age and level of attractiveness.

    It's quite possible he doesn't know he's being creepy - 45 year olds can be immature if they haven't had the right social interaction growing up, so creepiness doesn't necessarily imply bad intent. It's not a very easy thing to bring up, but the real test would be if he keeps doing it after it has been brought to his attention. You could really hurt him though, as a lack of social maturity is often a sore point with the people it affects (understandably), so be careful.
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    Hardly sounds like a problems. Just ignore him, it's really not difficult. If you were to call someone creepy that would be ****ging someone off, and make sure you don't call him that while your at work or you'll probably get sacked.

    I had a similar problem. I started a new job and a girl who was at sixth form only worked weekends. She started off innocent, but then she started flirting. I just smiled nodded and walked off. I had to work with her too, so I just controlled the conversation, so it was just about work.

    I'd love to know how the user in this thread can tell who's a "rapist"..."murderer" just by looking at them, because it's not like they're really good at fitting in with people.....
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    (Original post by Scott.)
    I'd love to know how the user in this thread can tell who's a "rapist"..."murderer" just by looking at them, because it's not like they're really good at fitting in with people.....
    That's a bit harsh don't you think? Did I say that he was a "rapist" or "murderer" or something similarly related? No I didn't? If you read back to the first message I clearly stated that I thought he was creepy from my point of view! How, in any context, does that refer to him being a rapist or murderer? No it doesn't! So don't judge me upon assumptions that are not true.

    Thanks
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's a bit harsh don't you think? Did I say that he was a "rapist" or "murderer" or something similarly related? No I didn't? If you read back to the first message I clearly stated that I thought he was creepy from my point of view! How, in any context, does that refer to him being a rapist or murderer? No it doesn't! So don't judge me upon assumptions that are not true.

    Thanks
    I was referring to someone else in the thread who practically said he could tell who's a rapist and a murder just by looking at them. That's why I said a user in this thread, and not the OP.
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    (Original post by Scott.)
    Hardly sounds like a problems. Just ignore him, it's really not difficult. If you were to call someone creepy that would be ****ging someone off, and make sure you don't call him that while your at work or you'll probably get sacked.

    I had a similar problem. I started a new job and a girl who was at sixth form only worked weekends. She started off innocent, but then she started flirting. I just smiled nodded and walked off. I had to work with her too, so I just controlled the conversation, so it was just about work.

    I'd love to know how the user in this thread can tell who's a "rapist"..."murderer" just by looking at them, because it's not like they're really good at fitting in with people.....
    people talk crap about you never who.
    yea sometimes you get suprised.

    but the more often than not the rapey looking guy is probably a rapist.

    when you go on crime stoppers website and look at the wanted criminals you can spot the rapists and when you look at the rapists your like "well... should of seen that coming"
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    I find it weird that you see yourself as a child. You keep mentioning your age, as if you were a 6 year old child...you're not a child. At 17, you're a fully grown adult for God's sake. You're not a kid, sorry to have to break the news! And I don't understand what's so shocking about a man who is in his 40s or 50s. People sometimes tend to place way too much emphasis on or attach too much significance to age.
    Imagine a guy in his 50s speaking to your 17 year old daughter/sister in that way. It most definitely is creepy.
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    Here's how you reply:

    Your hair looks lovely today.

    Yeah you look okay for your age. Have you considered maturesingles.com?
 
 
 
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