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What's the best way to hide a dead body? Watch

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    Hide:
    - Bury it in a fresh grave
    - Access creepy part of dark net, find a necrophiliac, sell to necrophiliac.
    - In concrete.
    - Hide yourself. Fake identities are only ~£7000
    - Bury 10ft under a dead animal
    - Leave it in an abandoned house where crackheads go. Stick their finger prints all over it.

    Get rid:
    - Burn it
    - Cook it and feed it to anyone but yourself (I recommend my creepy uncle)
    - Feed it to a pig
    - Chop it into little pieces; stick them in a blender; blend, blend, blend; chuck the human juice into a river
    - Bath time with sodium hydroxide. Not in your own bath.

    I'll probably add more as I remember them. I've been preparing for this situation for a number of years.
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    (Original post by Dani California)
    I like the way you think.
    (Original post by Dani California)
    Eat the meat, then give a dog or pet the bones. Any other remaining matter, such as the brain, should be tossed in a river. Ain't nobody gonna know what you did...:devil:
    Haha and yourself
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    (Original post by superduper9)
    OP, you do realise that if someone you know, God forbid, dies mysteriously in the next few days and police start searching for clues (i.e. internet history of friends, family etc.), you are going to look very suspicious based on this thread.
    LOL I am aware. I know where I got the idea from this thread so I'll be able to explain

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    (Original post by ubi1)
    Coffin?
    Dunno, seems a bit main stream...:eyeball:
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    (Original post by shiggydiggy)
    By sitting it upright and putting a pair of sunglasses on it, obviously.
    What about the smell?

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    (Original post by Arieisit)
    What about the smell?

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    Febreeze?
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    (Original post by Arieisit)
    That person's DNA will be all over your place. Forensics will catch you.

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    You're not going to meat tenderise it at your house, are you? I don't even own a machine that is capable of that. Do it at a local McDonald's factory.
    And if no-one's looking at your place or even looking for a dead person, you can't be caught.
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    (Original post by fnatic NateDestiel)
    To remove the smell use bleach and sulfuric acid, alternatively use tar if you are putting the body underground - the smell of the bodies counteracts with the tar - so sniffer dogs cannot siphen out the smell.

    As Bobby Singer would say, "You want to get rid of a dead body then chuck it in a woodchipper, idjits" (c) Bobby Singer.

    Answering your question now:

    1. Make sure they are completely dead, hit them with a shovel a couple of times.

    2. Get rope and concrete blocks.

    3.Tie rope to body's foot and harness it to the neck.

    4.Tie remainder of rope to concrete block.

    5. And for the record it is not better to be accused of necrophilia than animal cruelty however I disagree with both. Keep your dahmer/gacy deeds private @Arieisit

    6.Cut finger tips off.

    7. Take out teeth, so unable to identify with dental records.

    8.Calcify bones if you know how.

    9. Pour ashes in the ocean.

    Well there you go, don't say I never did anything for you

    Spoiler:
    Show
    I watch a lot of movies :lol:

    I don't condone or take responsibility for your actions OP..
    Hahaha wow. I'm not planning to kill anyone

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    (Original post by Tom_green_day)
    You're not going to meat tenderise it at your house, are you? I don't even own a machine that is capable of that. Do it at a local McDonald's factory.
    And if no-one's looking at your place or even looking for a dead person, you can't be caught.
    Yeah, because Mc Donalds would happily lend it to me?

    They usually get evidence to question someone who was involved.

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    Will need: Cake mix, saw, dead body, oven, milk

    1. Chop victim up into little unrecognisable pieces with a saw or something
    2. Cook the pieces in the oven until an ashy mixture is formed
    3. Empty mixture into the cake mix add the milk and whatnot and shove back in the oven
    4. Cake takes about 15 minutes to cook, serves 10

    n.b. wine to celebrate is optional
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    (Original post by Vixen47)
    Hide:
    - Bury it in a fresh grave
    - Access creepy part of dark net, find a necrophiliac, sell to necrophiliac.

    Get rid:
    - Burn it
    - Cook it and feed it to anyone but yourself (I recommend my creepy uncle)
    - Feed it to a pig
    - Chop it into little pieces; stick them in a blender; blend, blend, blend; chuck the human juice into a river


    I'll probably add more as I remember them. I've been preparing for this situation for a number of years.
    You already have someone in mind?

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    (Original post by MidnightDream)
    Will need: Cake mix, saw, dead body, oven, milk

    1. Chop victim up into little unrecognisable pieces with a saw or something
    2. Cook the pieces in the oven until an ashy mixture is formed
    3. Empty mixture into the cake mix add the milk and whatnot and shove back in the oven
    4. Cake takes about 15 minutes to cook, serves 10

    n.b. wine to celebrate is optional
    Sawing bones will take forever :rolleyes:

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    (Original post by Arieisit)
    Yeah, because Mc Donalds would happily lend it to me?

    They usually get evidence to question someone who was involved.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    What? No, you go to the factory in the dead of night and do it. It's not like burger factories are going to have PMCs guarding it.

    But that's if it's a murder of someone you know so you might have a motive. I'm on about random, Pat Bateman-style killings.

    EDIT: Should point out I have no experience in this. Purely hypothetical.
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    Breaking Bad episode 2
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    Make it into a smoothie and drink it
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    Step 1: Chop the body up into reasonably sized pieces.
    Step 2: Put said pieces into a barrel full of hydrofluoric acid.
    Step 3: Wait until the pieces have melted.
    Step 4: Close the barrel by locking it.
    Step 5: Either bury the barrel underground in a desert, or dispose of the liquid contained inside of the barrel.
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    (Original post by Arieisit)
    Hahaha wow. I'm not planning to kill anyone

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    good job.
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    (Original post by Vixen47)
    Hide:
    - Bury it in a fresh grave
    - Access creepy part of dark net, find a necrophiliac, sell to necrophiliac.
    - In concrete.
    - Hide yourself. Fake identities are only ~£7000

    Get rid:
    - Burn it
    - Cook it and feed it to anyone but yourself (I recommend my creepy uncle)
    - Feed it to a pig
    - Chop it into little pieces; stick them in a blender; blend, blend, blend; chuck the human juice into a river
    - Bath time with sodium hydroxide. Not in your own bath.




    I'll probably add more as I remember them. I've been preparing for this situation for a number of years.
    Grave = the inevitable discovery of the body.
    Necrophiliac = A witness.
    In concret = the inevitable discovery of the body.
    Hide yourself = Won't work.
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    (Original post by Tom_green_day)
    What? No, you go to the factory in the dead of night and do it. It's not like burger factories are going to have PMCs guarding it.

    But that's if it's a murder of someone you know so you might have a motive. I'm on about random, Pat Bateman-style killings.

    EDIT: Should point out I have no experience in this. Purely hypothetical.
    Breaking into places will likely make evidence lead back to you. I'd recommend doing something discrete.

    I'm being hypothetical here as well.

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    (Original post by Tom_green_day)
    Don't hide it, destroy it. Put it in a meat dicer or burn it. I hear there was a murderer who put his victims in a vat of acid. That could work too, but it's a bit gory.
    He worked for a Mexican cartel and used caustic soda to dissolve bodies.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
 
 
 
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