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I have never 'approached' a woman... could this be why I am single? watch

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    To be honest I can think of more girls I know who've approached complete strangers than guys. Literally everyone I know these days who is in a relationship met their partner through a mutual friend, not walking up to some randomer.
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    (Original post by bloomblaze)
    Hello everyone,

    Im a 24 year old man and Ive never had a girlfriend, this gets me down.

    Sometimes boys talk about 'approaching' women.

    I have never 'approached' a woman in my life.

    Could this be why I have never had a girlfriend?
    Of course, if you aren't doing anything to get a girlfriend, you can't really complain. Yes, sometimes people get them without really trying, but that isn't true for most people. Just go out, see a woman, and say hello. You don't have to fancy her, you need to get used to meeting people.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Of course, if you aren't doing anything to get a girlfriend, you can't really complain. Yes, sometimes people get them without really trying, but that isn't true for most people. Just go out, see a woman, and say hello. You don't have to fancy her, you need to get used to meeting people.
    so I just say hello and she becomes my gf, its that easy??!

    seriously though, please elaborate
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    (Original post by bloomblaze)
    so I just say hello and she becomes my gf, its that easy??!

    seriously though, please elaborate
    Nah of course not, I'm talking about building up some confidence. I'd say don't even worry about trying to get laid or dates or whatever, just get used to talking to people. Give yourself a target at a bar to talk to five women- don't worry about getting numbers or anything, if you're talking to them, you're progressing.
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    (Original post by bloomblaze)
    where would you approach women, and how would you do it?
    thats a really broad question brother.... women are everywhere, i don't know you or where you live so that's on you to know where women can be found . Town, in the street, clubs,bars,uni,libraries, halls if your a student, where ever.

    how would you approach?
    well first think about what kind of women attracts you? don't be unrealistic and paint a perfect women in your head that doesn't exist, be realistic, just look around in town or something and look for a girls face you like

    the approach
    this is considered hard by guys like you but all it is is, find a girl you like
    walk up to her/sit by her or whatever is required to be in close proximity, smile too (don't over think it, that tends to happen, planning the perfect thing to say, it doesn't matter just go) and say
    "hey(insert compliment/receive thanks ask for her name,introduce yourself) and talk about whatever you want to, doesn't matter what just talk...and done. you've approached a women, rejection is a thing as well you gotta brush it off and keep moving.

    longest thing ive ever writ, better use this info!
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    (Original post by KickDancing)
    thats a really broad question brother.... women are everywhere, i don't know you or where you live so that's on you to know where women can be found . Town, in the street, clubs,bars,uni,libraries, halls if your a student, where ever.

    how would you approach?
    well first think about what kind of women attracts you? don't be unrealistic and paint a perfect women in your head that doesn't exist, be realistic, just look around in town or something and look for a girls face you like

    the approach
    this is considered hard by guys like you but all it is is, find a girl you like
    walk up to her/sit by her or whatever is required to be in close proximity, smile too (don't over think it, that tends to happen, planning the perfect thing to say, it doesn't matter just go) and say
    "hey(insert compliment/receive thanks ask for her name,introduce yourself) and talk about whatever you want to, doesn't matter what just talk...and done. you've approached a women, rejection is a thing as well you gotta brush it off and keep moving.

    longest thing ive ever writ, better use this info!
    re the bit in bold, you dont actually approach women in the street or libraries (they would say ssshhh) do you?
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    (Original post by bloomblaze)
    re the bit in bold, you dont actually approach women in the street or libraries (they would say ssshhh) do you?
    lol but see i dont let excuses get the better of me, if there's a girl in the library or anywhere else in fact and i would like to know her, i wouldn't try and find reasons to stop myself from going after what i want, id just face up to the fact i was being a pussy too scared to go after what i wanted. Plus you never know that women you were scared might "sssshh" you might have ended up being your GF if you had just spoke to her o.O
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    (Original post by holmes221)
    Oh the ladies just come up to you 100% of the time do they? :confused:
    Partly that, but mainly just that if you're a normal, sociable person with a normal, active social life, you constantly interact with new potential partners on a daily basis. You never, ever, ever, have to "approach" a complete stranger, because you've got more than enough choice in the women you have just met or already know.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Partly that, but mainly just that if you're a normal, sociable person with a normal, active social life, you constantly interact with new potential partners on a daily basis. You never, ever, ever, have to "approach" a complete stranger, because you've got more than enough choice in the women you have just met or already know.
    What I an attractive stranger catches your eye?
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    (Original post by bloomblaze)
    What I an attractive stranger catches your eye?

    Serious question: What do you find attractive in a woman?
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    (Original post by KickDancing)
    lol but see i dont let excuses get the better of me, if there's a girl in the library or anywhere else in fact and i would like to know her, i wouldn't try and find reasons to stop myself from going after what i want, id just face up to the fact i was being a pussy too scared to go after what i wanted. Plus you never know that women you were scared might "sssshh" you might have ended up being your GF if you had just spoke to her o.O

    Or, far more likely, lots of women that might have been interested in being your girlfriend will now hear about the weird bloke harassing people in the library and no longer have any interest whatsoever.
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    It's a fair bet that it's the reason, yes.
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    I find the idea of randomly walking up to a woman and talking to her to be quite creepy, to be honest. Am I alone in thinking that? I would find online dating much less creepy or daunting. With that, it's more like a continuation of a previous interaction you've had. I couldn't just randomly approach a girl who I'd never met before and try to talk to her. I realise that may be an option for some people, but it's not for me.
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    (Original post by kaidan_alenko)
    I find the idea of randomly walking up to a woman and talking to her to be quite creepy, to be honest. Am I alone in thinking that? I would find online dating much less creepy or daunting. With that, it's more like a continuation of a previous interaction you've had. I couldn't just randomly approach a girl who I'd never met before and try to talk to her. I realise that may be an option for some people, but it's not for me.
    talking to people just to be friendly is not creepy. talking to people with the express intention of seducing them is very creepy, and that generally comes across. hence the reason why the losers who do this need online support groups and acronyms to hide behind.
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    Quite simple you don't ask you don't get OP. And yes I have had women initiate the conversation/flirting.
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    (Original post by EatAndRevise)
    Okay.

    Part of the reason that OP is single is because OP is not approaching women.
    I disagree. I know hundreds of people with girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, husbands, and none of them have ever had to resort to randomly approaching strangers to try and meet new people.

    The reason OP is single is because either a) he's not very social and hence doesn't meet many women or b) he's not very attractive and doesn't attract the ones he does meet.

    Starting to try to act like some kind of player who goes up and harasses strangers will only serve to decrease his attractiveness and make the problem worse.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    I disagree. I know hundreds of people with girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, husbands, and none of them have ever had to resort to randomly approaching strangers to try and meet new people.

    The reason OP is single is because either a) he's not very social and hence doesn't meet many women or b) he's not very attractive and doesn't attract the ones he does meet.

    Starting to try to act like some kind of player who goes up and harasses strangers will only serve to decrease his attractiveness and make the problem worse.
    Weren't your friends strangers before you met them? Seeing as you supposedly sat there while they approached you first for friendship are they 'unsociable'? There is a fallacy in your statement man.
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    Get on the online dating sites, get some experience chatting to girls online (better than nothing) will slowly boost confidence
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    (Original post by holmes221)
    Weren't your friends strangers before you met them? Seeing as you supposedly sat there while they approached you first for friendship are they 'unsociable'? There is a fallacy in your statement man.

    you're confused between "approaching" and "talking to".

    Approaching is going up and talking to a girl specifically with the intention of starting a romantic or sexual encounter.

    Obviously, this is not how I met my friends.
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    (Original post by kaidan_alenko)
    I find the idea of randomly walking up to a woman and talking to her to be quite creepy, to be honest. Am I alone in thinking that? I would find online dating much less creepy or daunting. With that, it's more like a continuation of a previous interaction you've had. I couldn't just randomly approach a girl who I'd never met before and try to talk to her. I realise that may be an option for some people, but it's not for me.
    perspective i guess, its not just about randomly approaching people though, you get a tonne of social skills you can apply anywhere that involves people. online interactions for me i find is too "un-genuine" people online can act like whoever they want but in person they could be a talking sack of sausages. i don't like talking sacks of sausages. :mad:
 
 
 
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