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He calls me fat, withholds sex and affection... Watch

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    Op feel free to pm. I have experience in this too, would be nice to talk

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    (Original post by iEatMuFFiNS)
    People have addressed the other problems already. Why am i an idiot for not going over ground already covered?
    Because you're wrong. Even if she were a size 0 he'd still find something to make her feel like crap about.

    I've had plenty of experience with this, trust me. There's ALWAYS something.
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    (Original post by iEatMuFFiNS)
    There are loads of ways to lose weight if you're really that big. The most effective will likely be a better diet, lots of water and regular exercise can all help with this.
    Or she could lose huge amounts of useless weight in one go by dumping the b*stard!
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    Please leave. I know it's so much easier said than done, but he is being emotionally abusive towards you and sadly I don't think he's ever going to change.
    • Welcome Squad
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    Leave this relationship and don't look back ever. I'm very serious.
    You hear about these cases on the news and the women end up battered, blinded or even dead.

    You do not deserve to be treated like this and I'm certain you will find someone better.
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    (Original post by BarBaBaBaBarBaBaBa)
    Because you're wrong. Even if she were a size 0 he'd still find something to make her feel like crap about.

    I've had plenty of experience with this, trust me. There's ALWAYS something.
    Not wrong, the other issue is covered pretty much. OP obviously is or thinks she is overweight and one way or another still needs to be addressed even if it isn't the the most paramount concern.
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    I will never understand people (usually women) who acknowledge their spouse's/partner's problems yet still stay with them.
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    OP, I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. You are realising that he is treating you like rubbish and what is going off in your relationship isn't typical.
    Firstly, there is no excuse for him to raise his voice, swear or abuse you. Even if you "irritate" him. Withholding sex from you then telling you about his "time" is another form of control, he is controlling the fact you don't have sex. Also telling you what to do and wear is another form of control. He has gradually manipulated you to think you are in the wrong and you are to blame for his behaviours. No, the on,y person responsible for his behaviour is HIMSELF, not you.
    I work with abusive relationships and this is one. I know it's easy for me to sit down and say "leave him now!", I know it's not as say as that. I would go and speak to someone at uni, like a counsellor, and get your confidence and self esteem up. Once you start feeling better about yourself (average, fat, thin, whatever) you will be happier and will see what a lot of us can see: he's really not worthy of you. No one deserves the treatment you are getting, and you have shown you can stay away from him and that he breaks his promises.
    From a female point of view, we all criticise our weights. No matter what size we are, it's very normal. However him saying it is another way of battering you verbally.
    If you want someone to confide in, you can always PM me x



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    (Original post by iEatMuFFiNS)
    Not wrong, the other issue is covered pretty much. OP obviously is or thinks she is overweight and one way or another still needs to be addressed even if it isn't the the most paramount concern.
    Still wrong. If she lost the weight it would make no difference in his behaviour at all. So not only is this not the most paramount concern, but it's a pretty non-existant one.
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    (Original post by iEatMuFFiNS)
    People have addressed the other problems already. Why am i an idiot for not going over ground already covered?
    If you don't want to say what everyone else have said then don't reply. But saying she might need to lose weight doesn't help someone whose clearly in an abusive and manipulative relationship. For one she hasn't said she's big. She said her boyfriend compares her to women on TV. For all we know she's perfectly normal in weight and advising her to lose some can just lead to a whole set of problems.

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    (Original post by iEatMuFFiNS)
    Not wrong, the other issue is covered pretty much. OP obviously is or thinks she is overweight and one way or another still needs to be addressed even if it isn't the the most paramount concern.
    Please stop giving people advice.


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    watch the bbc iplayer documentary 'murdered by my boyfriend'

    i think you'll realise he's a **** hes the one with the problem,and you should leave him
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    What an *******.
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    You clearly know what the problem is, so why haven't you dealt with it? People focus too much on the problem rather than a solution.

    The clear solution is to split up with him. But I gather you don't want to be single. Although it's not really a difficult choice. You're not exactly losing anything by splitting up with him.
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    (Original post by iEatMuFFiNS)
    Not wrong, the other issue is covered pretty much. OP obviously is or thinks she is overweight and one way or another still needs to be addressed even if it isn't the the most paramount concern.
    She clearly doesn't really think she's overweight, given that she says she's a small size 10.
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    (Original post by Last Day Lepers)
    So you're in an abusive manipulating relationship where he has managed to bully and persuade you that you are the one causing the problems and it's you're fault he gets angry.

    My advice, find someone else.
    (Original post by CemCakantemur)
    I agree with this. It shouldn't take many people to agree to this for the OP to have to change her mind about the manipulative "boyfriend".

    OP. You do not want to continue your relationship with this man trust me, things will only get worse, you deserve much more.
    (Original post by Malevolent)
    Get out of this relationship ASAP. You're not to blame. Hes manipulating you into believing its your fault.
    (Original post by jay2013)
    Dump him now.
    (Original post by Lamptastic)
    This guy is bringing you down and emotionally abusing you.

    Please leave and build your confidence again, it will seem very difficult but you deserve better.
    (Original post by carrotstar)
    You're clearly strong at heart because you managed to break off from him before. I don't think you need confirmation that is time to move on. No matter whether this is the best relationship you've had or not, no matter whether you're lonely without him, he's clearly causing you a lot of mental pain. No woman should be spoken to and controlled like that by their partner. Break it off again, and this time, break the contact as well. Unfriend him on Facebook, change your phone number if you need to, but make sure it's a clean break and that he cannot send you messages to lure you back in.

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    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    Abusive relationship. I've been there, and I know how hard it is. This is absolutely not your fault, I promise. They havbe a way of making you feel it's your fault and you deserve this treatment. You don't.

    My advice is to leave, however you won't until you feel ready to. I didn't leave for ages even though I had people telling me what a ****er my ex was. If you want to talk, I'm here :hugs:
    (Original post by uberteknik)
    You seem to have a low self esteem and he is exploiting that to control you for whatever end he sees fit by reinforcing your own negative perceptions of yourself.

    I agree with ^^, this is a horrible abusive relationship and is not going anywhere. He clearly does not love you or even like you and will dump you as soon as a better offer comes along.

    You are worth far, far, more than that and you owe it to yourself to leave this pig and never look back.

    When you have left him, start thinking about how to change your life at home with a stifling family. But don't link the two. Sort out one problem at a time and start with getting rid of Mr ****er.

    Soon you will have your degree and can congratulate yourself and be proud of the hard work over many years that allowed YOU to achieve it.

    If you need to change other things about yourself you are unhappy with, do it for yourself and for no-one else but yourself.

    Go for it and good luck.
    (Original post by BarBaBaBaBarBaBaBa)
    I never really got that. As a woman if my man were to start treating me like dirt I'd leave him in the blink of an eye.

    For every "mean" man out there, there's a handful who will treat you just right. The longer women stay with an abusive man, the more men will think that's okay and this reflects on the rest of us women. Really very frustrating.
    (Original post by donutaud15)
    Leave him. He's not worth it. It's not you, he's clearly not right in the head. However be careful if you end it, he sounds like he's got a mean temper.

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    The people have spoken. Dump him like a ton of bricks. :mob:
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    just leave him, he's partly doing it because he knows you have low self esteem and confidence so he knows he can get away with abusing you whenever he wants, he must get thrills out of abusing you emotionally since he is withholding sex with you. you being lonely is better then the abuse he is giving you so just leave.
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    This is clearly an abusive relationship, leave him. As hard as it may be you deserve so much better than someone who ridicules you and makes you feel worthless. A man shouldn't treat you like that no matter what. Do not let him make you feel like you deserve to be treated in this way. Please, please leave him. If you stay your self esteem will completely crumble. He isn't worth your time or love. It may seem like loneliness will get the better of you but time heals everything. Eventually you won't yearn for his crappy affection anyway.
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    (Original post by BarBaBaBaBarBaBaBa)
    I'm really confused by women like you who just choose to stay in obviously crappy relationships?! Just move on for crying out loud.

    (Original post by Mystery Me)
    I really don't understand why you women feel the need to stay with guys who clearly abuse you and ignore guys who would treat you with respect. If you keep going back to him, you're going to suffer. It's going to turn nasty. So, if you want to save yourself, leave him. And go for that guy who you definitely must've ignored when he was being nice to you.
    It's all about low self-esteem that has very deep roots. A lot of people feel they don't deserve to be loved and if they leave their partner, they'll never be able to get in another relationship. Chances are that people with low self-esteem also struggle to make friends, so they rely completely on their partner to feel wanted and to avoid loneliness. If the said partner is emotionally abusive, like in OP's case, it can further reinforce the belief that they don't deserve to be loved and they are lucky to have their partner who is willing to be in a relationship. It's very easy to tell these people to move on, but if you look at it from their point of view, it's an impossible decision to make.
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    (Original post by I love shopping)
    It's all about low self-esteem that has very deep roots. A lot of people feel they don't deserve to be loved and if they leave their partner, they'll never be able to get in another relationship. Chances are that people with low self-esteem also struggle to make friends, so they rely completely on their partner to feel wanted and to avoid loneliness. If the said partner is emotionally abusive, like in OP's case, it can further reinforce the belief that they don't deserve to be loved and they are lucky to have their partner who is willing to be in a relationship. It's very easy to tell these people to move on, but if you look at it from their point of view, it's an impossible decision to make.
    I disagree. It's not always about low self-esteem. True, the women who are being abused are usually those with low self-esteem but this is because they are easier to prey on and have control over by their partner. They don't stay in the relationship because of their low self-esteem, rather they do because they constantly believe that this person will one day change. But truth hurts and that will never happen.

    I know it's easier said than done, but at the end of the day this is the only advice we can give. That's the only real answer there is out there: end it, because nothing else will solve the problem. The OP's partner clearly doesn't love her enough to change, because if he did, then he wouldn't be treating her like this in the first place. If the OP wanted to hear something else, then she shouldn't have posted on here at all. But this is the reality of things, whether she likes it or not.

    You may also think your abuser "loves" you, and that's why you stay with him, but at the end of the day that's not what true love is and you can only be with someone who truly loves you once you get rid of the abusive partners who only say they do.
 
 
 
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