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How do meet girls in your 20s? Watch

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    (Original post by James222)
    Not really
    If youve just moved to a new city after uni your friends will probably be in a different city.

    Pubs are full of a much older crowd generally
    Sport or Social Clubs - do they still exist ?
    Uni - not if you graduated
    Work - this is the most likely one but depends on the culture of were you work and again unless your on a large graduate scheme office will be full of older people.

    8-6 your working or traveling be surprised how hard it is to meet new people. If I didnt have friends from 6th form in London I would be screwed.
    Mate I have to agree with you.
    Not really a pub guy myself. It's even worse when Mon-Thurs I could be working till 7 sometimes.

    Don't have anyone from uni at my workplace or nearby. I had a small analyst class who mostly came from the same uni and are mostly brash people who aren't that friendly and just drink tbh.

    Whenever I meet ppl, they seem to like me, especially those slightly older than me.

    I am friendly, want to make good friends in the city like they do in sitcoms I guess. And I would love to experience dating in your 20s, but it seems impossible in London!

    I know sitcoms are TV, but is life just different in NYC?! How is it this hard to meet girls?

    It's just difficult to meet young ppl like me in an environment where it's alive, but not too noisy (like a club).
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    (Original post by miser)
    Don't do it like in the movies.

    The main key to it is that it must be confident and come across as if it is natural for you to do it. Aside from that you can get away with quite a lot. On the internet talking to women during the day is called 'daygame' so if you want to look at examples of it being done you can just type that into YouTube and you'll find a lot. If you decide you want to give it a go it might be worth finding someone doing it with a similar kind of personality to yours (e.g. introverted vs extraverted, sense of humour, etc.) and picking up tips from them.


    A bar and a mall are usually scenarios that might require a different style of approach. At a bar it's a high-energy environment usually with a lot of competition and unless you are something special she will likely get distracted and/or reject you. At a mall on the other hand there will be no competition and little to be distracting, so in some sense it's easier, but it's harder to escalate because people are more reserved in the day.

    In the daytime I'd recommend saying something like, "hey, I saw you and thought wow you're really cute, so I decided I had to come over and meet you." Then talk about anything (though try not to make it like an interview) and tease/flirt a bit. Then if you get on well suggest doing something and if she agrees get her number. Other ways might be to say, "hey, what way is it to - I'm just joking, I thought you were cute and wanted to come meet you." Or "Hey, I know this is really random but I thought you were adorable and would kick myself if I didn't say hi." In the day you pretty much have to make your intentions clear because if you don't she'll know what's up anyway and it will just look like you're playing games or afraid to be honest.

    At night you can get away with a hell of a lot more and how far you take it probably depends on your personality. You could say "hey, you're sexy as ****!" or just say "hey, I need a girl's opinion on something" and ask a question. You have more flexibility so long as you are fun to be around. It depends on what you feel is right for the situation. Confident girls will tend to respond better to ballsy approaches, whereas shyer girls might get intimidated or put off by them. It's something that takes practice to get an intuition about.

    Ah solid advice. Yeah I guess it takes practice and then it comes naturally.

    How do you actually go about socialising/meeting enough ppl?

    I've just moved here, there are not that many sociable ppl on my analyst class nor do I know many ppl my age at the moment. I'm very busy on weekdays till 7pm sometimes.

    I'd really like to meet a group of great friends like in Friends and experience dating like in HIMYM!!

    Is this all literally complete fantasy or is it remotely possible?!
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    (Original post by James222)
    Not really
    If youve just moved to a new city after uni your friends will probably be in a different city.

    Pubs are full of a much older crowd generally
    Sport or Social Clubs - do they still exist ?
    Uni - not if you graduated
    Work - this is the most likely one but depends on the culture of were you work and again unless your on a large graduate scheme office will be full of older people.

    8-6 your working or traveling be surprised how hard it is to meet new people. If I didnt have friends from 6th form in London I would be screwed.

    I've moved to a new city three times now and work the same hours you do. Every time I find it really easy to get a good group of friends within a few months. If you think pubs are full of the wrong crowd, you're going to the wrong pubs. The pubs round me are full of 20-30 year olds. Its virtually impossible not to make friends if you just go and chat to people.

    But hey, what do I know, don't take my advice, be alone.
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Ah solid advice. Yeah I guess it takes practice and then it comes naturally.

    How do you actually go about socialising/meeting enough ppl?

    I've just moved here, there are not that many sociable ppl on my analyst class nor do I know many ppl my age at the moment. I'm very busy on weekdays till 7pm sometimes.

    I'd really like to meet a group of great friends like in Friends and experience dating like in HIMYM!!

    Is this all literally complete fantasy or is it remotely possible?!
    Of course its possible, you just have to have a positive attitude. Normally within a few months of moving to a new city I have a group of new mates, social events most nights, and a list of girls to date.

    Joining a few clubs or social groups is the best bet, but if you don't want to do that just find out which pub the people your age hang out in, get your ass down there and get talking to people.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    I've moved to a new city three times now and work the same hours you do. Every time I find it really easy to get a good group of friends within a few months. If you think pubs are full of the wrong crowd, you're going to the wrong pubs. The pubs round me are full of 20-30 year olds. Its virtually impossible not to make friends if you just go and chat to people.

    But hey, what do I know, don't take my advice, be alone.
    1. Every place is different.
    2. Some pubs can be loud and not everyone drinks.
    3. Do you live in London? Not everyone just chats happily to someone who comes and joins the circle.
    4. Just because you chat to some group of ppl, even if you get a number, does that mean they would remember to invite you to a party?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    1. Every place is different.
    2. Some pubs can be loud and not everyone drinks.
    3. Do you live in London? Not everyone just chats happily to someone who comes and joins the circle.
    4. Just because you chat to some group of ppl, even if you get a number, does that mean they would remember to invite you to a party?
    1, Every place has sports clubs, social groups and pubs.
    2. So find a better pub. If you don't drink, start.
    3. No, but its no different. If you have any kind of social skills you will instantly spot the people that will be happy to chat and the ones that wouldn't.
    4. In my experience, yes. If you're a likeable person they will like you and want to hang out with you and introduce you to people. If you're not.... then that's another issue.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Of course its possible, you just have to have a positive attitude. Normally within a few months of moving to a new city I have a group of new mates, social events most nights, and a list of girls to date.

    Joining a few clubs or social groups is the best bet, but if you don't want to do that just find out which pub the people your age hang out in, get your ass down there and get talking to people.
    Yeah I've got the positive attitude. When I meet ppl, I seem to get a good rapport going. Those slightly older than me especially.

    My age group wise though, I find ppl are a bit cliquey. I find that despite the great interaction one on one, meeting them again in a group, and they hardly talk to me. Texting produces responses that are if it's a completely different person to who I met.

    They seem to have established friendship groups.

    I'd like to hang out with ppl, but I'm working now, I'm not sure where to join a social club where young people hang out.

    How do you just run into a Barney Stinson? How do you meet a Rachel?
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Yeah I've got the positive attitude. When I meet ppl, I seem to get a good rapport going. Those slightly older than me especially.

    My age group wise though, I find ppl are a bit cliquey. I find that despite the great interaction one on one, meeting them again in a group, and they hardly talk to me. Texting produces responses that are if it's a completely different person to who I met.

    They seem to have established friendship groups.

    I'd like to hang out with ppl, but I'm working now, I'm not sure where to join a social club where young people hang out.

    How do you just run into a Barney Stinson? How do you meet a Rachel?
    I don't know who those people are, and I don't really care. I doubt you meet very many friends sitting watching low quality american sitcoms.

    What sports do you play? What musical instruments do you play? What other interests do you have?
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    Please don't listen to anyone who says day game. This pretty much never works and you just come across as a creep.
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    1. Isn't the OP working? Not everyone has time or wants to play in a sports club anymore? Also do young analysts or juniors join clubs like they're at uni? Most ppl seem to stop joining those type of things by 2nd yr at uni.
    2. Not all ppl drink, so that can't be the basis. Also, pubs or bars in London seem to be full of ppl who know each other talking to each other. Do groups of strangers or lone strangers go up to a group and just start talking and magically become instant friends with a deep relationship and start conversing every day??
    3. London is different. It's not as friendly as the North of England. It doesn't seem as laid back or outgoing as some other cities like New York or LA when it comes to dating.
    4. If you're a likeable person, you can still run into unlikeable people who are friends with other unlikeable people who hang out arrogantly together and man the pubs and clubs of the city. People are also have set groups from school or uni, especially in London. They have grown up with friends since school and very rarely make good friends with non-Londoners.
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    I don't know, lots of ppl at my uni watched those sitcoms haha

    I play a few sports or did do it a lot at uni. But I'm not sure that meeting some 20/30 yr olds at footy club at a local gym is going to mean becoming part of their friendship group? How would that help you meet girls your own age?

    That would also take up a lot of my free time on the weekend which is feasbily the only time I have enough time to go for a 2hr session there.

    In London, it seems really too busy to mingle and just chill and meet ppl when you're working.
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    (Original post by miser)
    I'm actually trying to do the same thing at the moment. I graduated a couple of years ago and have let myself become so busy that I don't have people to go out with even when I do get some free time, so I'm willing to talk about this stuff in some detail if you want to shoot me a PM.

    For clubs there are a number of different ways you can do it. One of the easiest is every time you're standing around waiting to order drinks, talk to someone nearby. You can pretty much say anything but something situational would be pretty good. For example "do you know who sings this?" or "cool shoes!" - something you're both aware of. If you can get some chit chat going and exchange names then whenever you see them again later on that evening you can go over and talk to them a lot easier than others because you've already broken the ice. If you want you can ask them "who are you here with?" and "are they cool?" and so on to open up the opportunity to meet their friends. If you find you gel with anyone in particular you can add them on Facebook or something and suggest to go out again in the future. When people drink it opens them up and you can get the whole instant-best-friend thing. Best places to do this sort of stuff will be places where you're part of the targeted demographic so you have things in common with the other people there (university, musical taste, etc.).

    For girls specifically I'm a fan of being upfront since it saves a lot of time and comes across as confident (attractive). Something I might say is, "Hey, you're really cute." Then ask her a question (smiling). You could also say you wanted to talk to her because you liked her style, etc., instead if you want to avoid coming across too strongly (generally speaking the more attractive she is the more confident you should try to be). If she's in a group it's harder since you'd want to say something to the whole group and then only later when they like you you can tell them you're going to borrow their friend (the girl you dig). If there are guys in the group you'll want to open them because they're usually not going to want you to come in and flirt with the girls they know until they think you're cool.

    If you're chatting to a girl and it turns out she has a boyfriend, don't fret it since she's going to have single friends and if you get on well with her she'll be open to introducing you (girls often like to set their friends up). If she doesn't has a boyfriend and she digs you, you probably don't want to get her to introduce you to anyone because you're liable to get jealousy issues.

    To reply to your points:
    1. Don't worry about that too much - most people socialise in the evenings because of daytime commitments too.
    2. If you don't get on well with the people you know, use them as a springboard to meet new people and go from there.

    All of this is easier said than done but the most important thing is to just get out there, have fun, and when people see you having fun they will want to be part of it.
    You make it sound so easy
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    Online. Literally all I have to say.
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    Going out to a pub on your own and chatting to random people may be easy if you aren't shy. If you are, then it is pretty much hell on earth.
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    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    You make it sound so easy
    I know right? I wish it were!
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    (Original post by WelshBluebird)
    Going out to a pub on your own and chatting to random people may be easy if you aren't shy. If you are, then it is pretty much hell on earth.
    Yep. Feel out of place there and it doesn't feel like the sitcoms where there are pretty girls everywhere and the volume is low enough so you can hear people talk without having to shout.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    1. Isn't the OP working? Not everyone has time or wants to play in a sports club anymore? Also do young analysts or juniors join clubs like they're at uni? Most ppl seem to stop joining those type of things by 2nd yr at uni.
    2. Not all ppl drink, so that can't be the basis. Also, pubs or bars in London seem to be full of ppl who know each other talking to each other. Do groups of strangers or lone strangers go up to a group and just start talking and magically become instant friends with a deep relationship and start conversing every day??
    3. London is different. It's not as friendly as the North of England. It doesn't seem as laid back or outgoing as some other cities like New York or LA when it comes to dating.
    4. If you're a likeable person, you can still run into unlikeable people who are friends with other unlikeable people who hang out arrogantly together and man the pubs and clubs of the city. People are also have set groups from school or uni, especially in London. They have grown up with friends since school and very rarely make good friends with non-Londoners.

    1. You seriously think people just stop all of their interests just because they get a job? Of course not, that would be a terrible idea, you need some kind of social outlet outside of work hours. Even with a busy job you've still got 6-8 hours to fill every evening and 48 hours every weekend. That's load of time for hobbies and socialising.

    2. Well, that's their problem. Not drinking is just stupid.

    3. I've always found London quite friendly. I can't remember the last time I went down there and didn't get chatting to some random guy or girl in a pub.

    4. If they're unlikeable then you wouldn't want to be friends with them anyway, so where's the issue.
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    (Original post by thetrickyfox)
    Online. Literally all I have to say.
    Is there no other way?

    And do 20 somethings look to meet friends or start dating for the first time online?

    Call me old fashioned, but I was hoping for something more traditional to start off with!
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Yep. Feel out of place there and it doesn't feel like the sitcoms where there are pretty girls everywhere and the volume is low enough so you can hear people talk without having to shout.
    Are you sure you're going to pubs and not wondering into a nightclub by accident or something?
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)

    2. Well, that's their problem. Not drinking is just stupid.
    We meet again...

    :emog:
 
 
 
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