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If a girl is talkative to you in person, but unresponsive in texting? watch

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    Because you have made the fallacy of trying to understand the behavior and personality of a woman. An unsolved problem to humanity up there with the Riemann hypothesis and the solutions of the Navier-Stokes equation.
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    (Original post by holocene)
    If anything she's the opposite of a time waster. She probably picked up from your texts that you were into her, wasn't into you, and didn't want to waste your time by playing dumb, texting back enthusiastically and pretending not to realise she was participating in flirting. Not replying to your texts/not replying enthusiastically was her signal to you she's not interested, without actually having to humiliate both of you by being like "err I kind of get the impression you fancy me and I don't fancy you sorry".

    She didn't, however, want to be rude or give the impression that she didn't like you or thought you were a ****, so she continued to be nice to you in person, because she's a nice girl? At what point did she waste your time? You're basically just lashing out at her for not being into you. Calling her a user/time waster/faker simply for not being into you is kind of pathetic.
    So she would talk to me in person, but completely ignore a text? As in a hello, how are you text or a happy new year text?? How is that being nice to me?

    I wasn't even majorly into her.

    I don't think she is completely innocent.
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    (Original post by Jtking3000)
    Because you have made the fallacy of trying to understand the behavior and personality of a woman. An unsolved problem to humanity up there with the Riemann hypothesis and the solutions of the Navier-Stokes equation.
    Hahahaha so true. it was my bad. The biggest unsolved mystery ever.. how they think!
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    So she would talk to me in person, but completely ignore a text? As in a hello, how are you text or a happy new year text?? How is that being nice to me?

    I wasn't even majorly into her.

    I don't think she is completely innocent.
    Why is she obliged to text you back just because she's nice? She didn't reply to your texts because she wasn't into you, and she could tell that you were into her, and she didn't want to lead you on. Totally legitimate thing to do, and basically the gentlest, least awkward way of letting you down.

    Put it this way - imaginary scenario, she texts you back even though she's not into you, you start a text conversation with her, assume she fancies you because she's texting you, you ask her out, she rejects you. You call her a ***** and a time waster and a user. There is no situation where this girl could win, because you're basically just pissed off at her for not being into you.
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    (Original post by holocene)
    Why is she obliged to text you back just because she's nice? She didn't reply to your texts because she wasn't into you, and she could tell that you were into her, and she didn't want to lead you on. Totally legitimate thing to do, and basically the gentlest, least awkward way of letting you down.

    Put it this way - imaginary scenario, she texts you back even though she's not into you, you start a text conversation with her, assume she fancies you because she's texting you, you ask her out, she rejects you. You call her a ***** and a time waster and a user. There is no situation where this girl could win, because you're basically just pissed off at her for not being into you.
    If she doesn't reply to how are you? by text, then why bother to talk to me in person? Why flirt back with me in person?

    What you are saying doesn't make sense. I am sorry if you have had bad experience with guys, but I was not being bad here. All I was doing was being nice. I wasn't majorly flirting/really into her. Tbh she seemed cool, she knew one of my friends, so I was trying to be friends with her. I remember I met her first week at uni, and she seemed to take a liking to me and asked me to join her for coffee.

    All I'm asking is, why not reply to a how are you or happy new year? How does she get from those texts that I am 'well into her?'

    She just seems a confused person imo. I've deleted her number because she doesn't seem to be that nice a person. I've seen her hang out with people because she gets help on coursework or because they are getting good grades. Then next term, she blanks them.
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    (Original post by holocene)
    Why is she obliged to text you back just because she's nice? She didn't reply to your texts because she wasn't into you, and she could tell that you were into her, and she didn't want to lead you on. Totally legitimate thing to do, and basically the gentlest, least awkward way of letting you down.

    Put it this way - imaginary scenario, she texts you back even though she's not into you, you start a text conversation with her, assume she fancies you because she's texting you, you ask her out, she rejects you. You call her a ***** and a time waster and a user. There is no situation where this girl could win, because you're basically just pissed off at her for not being into you.
    Youre also looking at this from a biased perspective lol. Why can't thy have a normal text conversation without it having to escalate to flirting. OP said she was friendly, he sent her non suggestive messages, she could at a minimum give him the benefit of the doubt.
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    (Original post by High Stakes)
    Youre also looking at this from a biased perspective lol. Why can't thy have a normal text conversation without it having to escalate to flirting. OP said she was friendly, he sent her non suggestive messages, she could at a minimum give him the benefit of the doubt.
    Thank you sir.

    Exactly what I was saying. At the beginning, I kinda liked her. But I sent her a completely standard message, not suggestive. It would be like me now asking how are you? to one of you.

    I don't understand the no response. And even then, she still seemed to say hi and talk to me in person.

    Sigh... some girls I will never understand!
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    (Original post by High Stakes)
    Youre also looking at this from a biased perspective lol. Why can't thy have a normal text conversation without it having to escalate to flirting. OP said she was friendly, he sent her non suggestive messages, she could at a minimum give him the benefit of the doubt.
    Whoops not sure why that went anon.

    Thank you sir.

    Exactly what I was saying. At the beginning, I kinda liked her. But I sent her a completely standard message, not suggestive. It would be like me now asking how are you? to one of you.

    I don't understand the no response. And even then, she still seemed to say hi and talk to me in person.

    Sigh... some girls I will never understand!
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    Yo Boy you dum. dat beotch iz mad stupid. If she cant even use uh phone, how she gonna git through dat jungle son. Once yo' in muh motha ****in jungle you never come out what 'chew thinkin' man?
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    If she doesn't reply to how are you? by text, then why bother to talk to me in person? Why flirt back with me in person?

    What you are saying doesn't make sense. I am sorry if you have had bad experience with guys, but I was not being bad here. All I was doing was being nice. I wasn't majorly flirting/really into her. Tbh she seemed cool, she knew one of my friends, so I was trying to be friends with her. I remember I met her first week at uni, and she seemed to take a liking to me and asked me to join her for coffee.

    All I'm asking is, why not reply to a how are you or happy new year? How does she get from those texts that I am 'well into her?'

    She just seems a confused person imo. I've deleted her number because she doesn't seem to be that nice a person. I've seen her hang out with people because she gets help on coursework or because they are getting good grades. Then next term, she blanks them.
    You say you were just trying to be friends with her but then you say you were kind of into her and flirting with her but then you imply that your texts were neutral - sounds like you might be the confused person?

    It doesn't matter if you also wanted to be friends with her/would have settled for being friends - obviously to whatever degree you fancied her and were into her. She probably picked up on that, and wasn't into you, and didn't want to lead you on. If a guy who wasn't a good friend of mine texted me saying "how are you?" out of the blue, it wouldn't be reaching too far to assume he might be into me. Hell, if you got the impression she might be into you literally just because she talks to you and is nice, then be your standards a 'how are you?' text is practically a proposal.

    Tell me this - why did you text her in the first place? If it was to scope out whether she was into you, then you got your answer - not texting back was her giving you a sign. If it was because you wanted to become better friends with her/closer to her, then you also got your answer - she doesn't want that. Not replying to your texts was the least awkward way, most appropriate way for her to let you know this.

    "why bother to talk to me in person?" - because that's a normal, friendly, social thing to do? Because it would be rude not to?

    I'm not saying she's like a wonderful person or whatever, maybe she is horrible. But not texting you back isn't what makes her horrible - if anything that was her being nice and not wasting your time.
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    (Original post by High Stakes)
    Youre also looking at this from a biased perspective lol. Why can't thy have a normal text conversation without it having to escalate to flirting. OP said she was friendly, he sent her non suggestive messages, she could at a minimum give him the benefit of the doubt.
    Of course you can have a normal text conversation without it being flirting - but the OP has already said that he was into her - why is it so weird that she might have picked up on that? If a girl you didn't know that well started texting you saying 'how are you', would it not even cross your mind that she might be into you? It's just good intuition.
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Whoops not sure why that went anon.

    Thank you sir.

    Exactly what I was saying. At the beginning, I kinda liked her. But I sent her a completely standard message, not suggestive. It would be like me now asking how are you? to one of you.

    I don't understand the no response. And even then, she still seemed to say hi and talk to me in person.

    Sigh... some girls I will never understand!
    Ok, since you're insisting there was no romantic or flirtatious intentions behind your texts, put it this way: you meet a guy at, erm, football, that you like and get on with. You want to become friends with him, so you text him the exact same texts you've been sending this girl, and he has the same reaction (no reply/blunt reply). What would your reaction be? Would you have even sent those texts in the first place?
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    (Original post by holocene)
    You say you were just trying to be friends with her but then you say you were kind of into her and flirting with her but then you imply that your texts were neutral - sounds like you might be the confused person?

    It doesn't matter if you also wanted to be friends with her/would have settled for being friends - obviously to whatever degree you fancied her and were into her. She probably picked up on that, and wasn't into you, and didn't want to lead you on. If a guy who wasn't a good friend of mine texted me saying "how are you?" out of the blue, it wouldn't be reaching too far to assume he might be into me. Hell, if you got the impression she might be into you literally just because she talks to you and is nice, then be your standards a 'how are you?' text is practically a proposal.

    Tell me this - why did you text her in the first place? If it was to scope out whether she was into you, then you got your answer - not texting back was her giving you a sign. If it was because you wanted to become better friends with her/closer to her, then you also got your answer - she doesn't want that. Not replying to your texts was the least awkward way, most appropriate way for her to let you know this.

    "why bother to talk to me in person?" - because that's a normal, friendly, social thing to do? Because it would be rude not to?

    I'm not saying she's like a wonderful person or whatever, maybe she is horrible. But not texting you back isn't what makes her horrible - if anything that was her being nice and not wasting your time.
    If ignoring someone in person is rude, then what about texts??

    I texted her because I just got her number that day, despite having known her for a bit. That's why. I might have flirted with her in person, albeit briefly, but I kept it friendly banter.

    Texting someone how are you? or happy new year surely isn't coming on to someone. So why would the girl ignore it?

    How am I confused here? I said it plain and clear: My text was non suggestive. I also spoke to her in person and in text. I didn't just blank her via digital medium or face to face. However, she blanks me by text and still talks face to face. Makes no sense.
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    (Original post by holocene)
    You say you were just trying to be friends with her but then you say you were kind of into her and flirting with her but then you imply that your texts were neutral - sounds like you might be the confused person?

    It doesn't matter if you also wanted to be friends with her/would have settled for being friends - obviously to whatever degree you fancied her and were into her. She probably picked up on that, and wasn't into you, and didn't want to lead you on. If a guy who wasn't a good friend of mine texted me saying "how are you?" out of the blue, it wouldn't be reaching too far to assume he might be into me. Hell, if you got the impression she might be into you literally just because she talks to you and is nice, then be your standards a 'how are you?' text is practically a proposal.

    Tell me this - why did you text her in the first place? If it was to scope out whether she was into you, then you got your answer - not texting back was her giving you a sign. If it was because you wanted to become better friends with her/closer to her, then you also got your answer - she doesn't want that. Not replying to your texts was the least awkward way, most appropriate way for her to let you know this.

    "why bother to talk to me in person?" - because that's a normal, friendly, social thing to do? Because it would be rude not to?

    I'm not saying she's like a wonderful person or whatever, maybe she is horrible. But not texting you back isn't what makes her horrible - if anything that was her being nice and not wasting your time.
    If ignoring someone in person is rude, then what about texts??

    Sorry hit the anon again:

    I texted her because I just got her number that day, despite having known her for a bit. That's why. I might have flirted with her in person, albeit briefly, but I kept it friendly banter.

    Texting someone how are you? or happy new year surely isn't coming on to someone. So why would the girl ignore it?

    How am I confused here? I said it plain and clear: My text was non suggestive. I also spoke to her in person and in text. I didn't just blank her via digital medium or face to face. However, she blanks me by text and still talks face to face. Makes no sense.
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    (Original post by holocene)
    Of course you can have a normal text conversation without it being flirting - but the OP has already said that he was into her - why is it so weird that she might have picked up on that? If a girl you didn't know that well started texting you saying 'how are you', would it not even cross your mind that she might be into you? It's just good intuition.
    Okay if a girl sent me that, I would reply. If I ignored that text and then spoke to her or used her for coursework in person, that would be plain wrong!

    (Original post by holocene)
    Ok, since you're insisting there was no romantic or flirtatious intentions behind your texts, put it this way: you meet a guy at, erm, football, that you like and get on with. You want to become friends with him, so you text him the exact same texts you've been sending this girl, and he has the same reaction (no reply/blunt reply). What would your reaction be? Would you have even sent those texts in the first place?
    If a guy didn't respond, then i would consider him rude. I had a friend like that. He used to try and leech off me when I was doing well in class. Then once we finished that module he ignored my texts. Needless to say I deleted his number.

    I admit I think she is an attractive girl. But I wasn't trying anything. How is How are you? or HAPPY NEW YEAR! coming on to a girl?????


    (Original post by High Stakes)
    Youre also looking at this from a biased perspective lol. Why can't thy have a normal text conversation without it having to escalate to flirting. OP said she was friendly, he sent her non suggestive messages, she could at a minimum give him the benefit of the doubt.
    TOTALLY AGREE. It was a non suggestive FRIENDLY text. If a girl or guy doesn't respond, quite frankly they are being rude. You can't be that busy that you wouldn't reply after a week. Come on people! At least if you wanted to blank someone, why then speak to them in person.
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    An attractive girl talks to you normally in person (very friendly). In fact, freshers week she was so so friendly. She's not in my halls, but friends with one of my coursework groupmates who is a girl and whom I am friends with.

    By text, it's like she's someone else.. forget about being flirty, she's not really even that friendly. The tone of the message is pretty cold and sometimes she doesn't respond. There is no x.

    But again, in person she is very friendly and smiley.

    What does that mean?!!!!
    In the exact same position but with a guy. Very flirty in person but kinda cold in texts. It's so confusing!! I feel you

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    (Original post by 2710)
    In the exact same position but with a guy. Very flirty in person but kinda cold in texts. It's so confusing!! I feel you

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I know, I don't understand this multiple medium personality disorder!
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    Its not that deep. The fact shes friendly and talkative in person means shes just a bad texter in general
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    If ignoring someone in person is rude, then what about texts??

    Sorry hit the anon again:

    I texted her because I just got her number that day, despite having known her for a bit. That's why. I might have flirted with her in person, albeit briefly, but I kept it friendly banter.

    Texting someone how are you? or happy new year surely isn't coming on to someone. So why would the girl ignore it?

    How am I confused here? I said it plain and clear: My text was non suggestive. I also spoke to her in person and in text. I didn't just blank her via digital medium or face to face. However, she blanks me by text and still talks face to face. Makes no sense.
    I still think she probably (correctly) thought you fancied her and didn't want to give you the wrong idea. But if you're right, then maybe she just didn't want to be friends with you, and wanted to stay acquaintances. Hence not texting (people don't really randomly text acquaintances) but still being happy to talk to you in person, which is more casual. She's just keeping you at a distance because she doesn't particularly want you in her life that much. Nothing wrong with that.

    Both your other replies to me injected hypothetical coursework leeching into the situation - did she actually leech off your coursework? I'm assuming not since you haven't mentioned it til now, in which case I'm not sure what you're talking about. If she DID use you for schoolwork then that's an entirely different conversation and should have been the first thing you mentioned.
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    (Original post by CherelleFairuz)
    Its not that deep. The fact shes friendly and talkative in person means shes just a bad texter in general
    She just blanks texts though.

    (Original post by holocene)
    I still think she probably (correctly) thought you fancied her and didn't want to give you the wrong idea. But if you're right, then maybe she just didn't want to be friends with you, and wanted to stay acquaintances. Hence not texting (people don't really randomly text acquaintances) but still being happy to talk to you in person, which is more casual. She's just keeping you at a distance because she doesn't particularly want you in her life that much. Nothing wrong with that.

    Both your other replies to me injected hypothetical coursework leeching into the situation - did she actually leech off your coursework? I'm assuming not since you haven't mentioned it til now, in which case I'm not sure what you're talking about. If she DID use you for schoolwork then that's an entirely different conversation and should have been the first thing you mentioned.
    Maybe. I still feel she's not a good person. It wasn't coursework in my case, but me doing well/being popular with her other friends and I think maybe she might have been into me first week at uni. She seemed to take an interest to me. 1 year down the line, we haven't been close close, but have spoken to each other as we have a mutual friend. Reason was that we were at different halls and tbh I find the guys she hangs out with a bit cocky and also generally pretty ignorant about the rest of the world. (One of them didn't know about the Scottish referendum or who the Prime Minister was)

    I started seeing her a little more often when I spoke to my mutual friend this year. We are in the same project group. I think this girl saw I was popular and also personally invited me to a surprise birthday for our friend (rather than getting someone else to do it). After that she hasn't really talked to me much. She seems to be surrounded by a bunch of guys and also a few girls who think they're cool.

    I just don't get why she is very friendly to my face, but blanks texts. She keeps saying stuff like I'm such a gentleman when I open the door for her. I think she is hot, but I seriously wasn't trying anything. I literally send my friends, male or female how are you? all the time!

    I don't get the real life talking, but digital blanking. I do notice though that she is really nice to me in person when there are few people around, but when her 'cool friends' are about (in their view) she doesn't really talk much. I don't believe in all this cool people nonsense. I hang out with everyone based on if they are nice. So I don't think she is worth pursuing as a friend, let alone gf. I have quite a few friends tbh. I'm only annoyed because there aren't many people on my course who are nice. There are fewer who are girlfriend material. I thought she might be one.

    Thoughts?
 
 
 
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