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    (Original post by tsr_username01)
    im in a similar situation only from the point of view of a girl. ive been friends with this guy for about 10 months now, and even though it was definately not my intention to fall for him (or anyone at that time) i kinda couldnt help it, and i ended up having to tell him about christmas time, as our mutual friends had kinda noticed and had full conversations about it (i had no idea and i still dont know exactly what was said) when i found out i thought id better say something. he was really nice about it (he is the nicest guy ive ever met) but just told me he doesnt want a gf til he starts uni (in a yrs time) i took it as a nice way of saying hes not interested (he felt so bad about it he was nearly in tears). were best friends and to me that friendship is something i couldnt get rid of. i do worry about making him feel awkward though, and feel guilty even though i know i cant help it. most people assume were a couple though, and say were always flirting etc. i dont know what to do as after 7mnths i just feel like im falling for him more and more, and want to be able to stop but keep the friendship...


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Sorry to hear that but my advice would be the same as what I said to the OP. I understand where you are coming from as I've been there myself. I was rejected by my best girl friend and for 2 whole years I tried to make the friendship work. It failed though as we'd spend so much time together and all I wanted was for her to give me a chance but it never happened. In the end I cut off contact with her as it became too painful for me to maintain the friendship. I think it was the right thing to do but I also know how difficult these situations can be when it's someone you care about so much.
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    (Original post by MattCSidd)
    I agree with others on here that it's so hard, maybe close to impossible, to keep a friendship going with someone you like that much. Distance really does help though, spend time with other people, try to take your mind off of them as much as possible. It hurts now but it does get better.

    To "tsr_username01" did your male friend say he didn't want to be with you or just that he wasn't ready for a relationship yet? Because that could mean he does like you but isn't good with commitment or he could be accidentally leading you on?
    he said he just doesnt want a gf at the mo, but as i said earlier i think that was just a nice way of saying not interested. hes not leading me on as i know hes not going to go out with me. that was all 7mnths ago though and neither of us has directly mentioned it since. a lot of people say we flirt or seem closer than friends, but i just put any thoughts of him liking me down to wishful thinking and realise its not true, that we are just best friends.


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    (Original post by tsr_username01)
    he said he just doesnt want a gf at the mo, but as i said earlier i think that was just a nice way of saying not interested. hes not leading me on as i know hes not going to go out with me. that was all 7mnths ago though and neither of us has directly mentioned it since. a lot of people say we flirt or seem closer than friends, but i just put any thoughts of him liking me down to wishful thinking and realise its not true, that we are just best friends.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    How do you know he doesn't like you back if you haven't asked him? Not that I'm telling you to. You seem to have a good relationship with him at the moment, and why would you risk that on a possibility?
    Stay strong chick. xx
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    (Original post by frozen_fire)
    From experience I don't think staying friends will work out that well for you mate. It will be hard for you to focus on other people while she's still around. For example, when she gets a boyfriend, you'll be jealous and there's a high chance she will lose interest in you. After rejection, it's natural to want to salvage the friendship, but trust me when I say things won't be the same as before cos you've put your feelings out there.

    Also- you say you've fancied her since February so that's 6 months now you've known but waited this long to make a move. Those feelings won't just go away like that so is it wise to be friends when you want more than that?
    I understand where you're coming from, it's going to be really difficult.

    However, by giving up on the friendship I've lost more than a potential girlfriend, I will have lost a friend, and a bloody amazing one at that. I have to at least try to make this work because she's such a lovely person and I still like her as a friend, even if things are a bit weird between us now.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I understand where you're coming from, it's going to be really difficult.

    However, by giving up on the friendship I've lost more than a potential girlfriend, I will have lost a friend, and a bloody amazing one at that. I have to at least try to make this work because she's such a lovely person and I still like her as a friend, even if things are a bit weird between us now.
    It's your call at the end of the day- you will learn through experience. It won't be easy finding a girlfriend when she's around cos you'll compare every other girl to her and no one will never match up. One thing to bear in mind is that she probably isn't as amazing as you make out now. Being attracted to her is the reason you think she's so great, not because she's such an indispensable friend. Best of luck anyway.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Depends on how much you like her, if you like her a lot then pursue the cause as giving up after one shot no shows that you're into her but not fully,in my opinion. Maybe wait a few months and then tell her again because now she knows.. she might start to like you in due time. Don't be forceful though, pursue in a sweet not forceful manner.

    I've been through a similar situation: I liked a girl a lot, I told her, she said she had no feelings towards me but we got to know each other for 3 weeks, she said nothings changed and she isn't attracted to me but she wanted to be friends as she saw me in a brother type of way but I refused for my own sake to get over her.
    Appalling advice. If she says no the first time, assume she's not interested and move on with your life, if you hang around waiting for her to like you, you're just harming yourself and probably making things uncomfortable for her as well, it's not fair on either party to be quite honest. Films constantly romanticise the idea of a guy who doesn't give up, but if you don't feel that way to start with there's no guarantee you're going to change your mind and you can't help who you like, so you can't help liking your friends if you do, but equally you can't help not liking someone and nobody owes you their romantic affection just because you like them.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She's the loveliest girl I know, which makes it all the more saddening that we can never be together
    I know mate, but you're doing the right thing. :console:
 
 
 
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