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Would You Date a Guy in the Army? Watch

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    (Original post by Antifazian)
    Do not give up your career aims for a girl, you will regret it when the relationship fails and you're still sat behind a desk feeling weak and unfulfilled.
    Yea, I'm not gonna cancel my plans. But I guess she's the one with the issues.
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    It's also a wildly inaccurate and misleading description.

    There's enough BS posted about the Armed Forces on these forums - from people who haven't got the first clue what they're talking about, who don't know what the training's like, who don't know what the rules are, who's only exposure to fighting is bad war movies and from people who don't live in the real world but instead inhabit some idealised utopia where everyone hugs bunnies all the time and they see no need ever for people to be ready to fight - that we don't need the people who actually do know what they're talking about to make it worse.

    Their perceptions will never change unless they're actually given the facts.
    you ex-military?
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    Shag, yea, date, not so sure.
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    (Original post by Shaolin Punk)
    you ex-military?
    Yes.
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    Yes.
    Ok so you've told me what its not like.

    what was your experience?

    and do you have any advice?
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    (Original post by Shaolin Punk)
    Yea, I'm not gonna cancel my plans. But I guess she's the one with the issues.
    Yeah, exactly.

    It annoys me that people have such silly perceptions of the forces, when they actually have no direct experience of them. Both my parents are ex-forces, and I plan to go that way after uni.
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    (Original post by Shaolin Punk)
    Ok so you've told me what its not like.

    what was your experience?

    and do you have any advice?
    Mine was great, loved every minute of it. It's not comparable to anything else, so many people find it very hard to relate to. The hours, the conditions, what you actually do day-to-day.

    As for advice, no, that's harder. As with any relationship it's about communication, but there's another factor too. You've got to both understand what it means, the good and the bad. If both parties can't agree with that, then it's not going to work. There will be times when you can't see one another, there will be times she won't understand why.

    Plenty of people do make relationships in the Forces work very well - there are a number on this forum - but many others don't. Using the Forces as a scapegoat for a failed relationship is convenient, but entirely erroneous.

    If you really want to stay together, you will. If you're already doubting whether you'll manage, then there's your answer.
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    (Original post by Shaolin Punk)
    Basically theres this girl I've known for 3 years.
    there's always been a bit of a nod and a wink between us during our friendship confirming we have chemistry.

    But we've always been in relationships whilst the other is single or in a relationships too.

    We've finally caught each other both single and theres been quite an explosion of chemistry between us. nothings come of it yet though.

    I was going to join the Army which including training would be almost 3 years.

    She said she doesn't want to get in a relationship with me because once she's with someone she likes them to be close by her. She didnt plan on having a partner who was going away for months at a time.
    She's also worried about if we did officially get together and her feelings get even stronger that if something happened to me it would destroy her.

    also I'm 24 she's 26 and we both want to have a family so we're getting on a bit n need to get settling down.

    anyway. what would you guys do in her situation?

    feel free to give advice if you like
    You are most definitely not "getting on a bit".
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    Well must make sure never to tell girls I was in the military :rofl:
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    I did. For three years. I'm not going to lie, it was hard not seeing him for months at a time. Saying goodbye hurt every time. I wouldn't do it again because I couldn't hack it again, so I can see where she's coming from. My feelings were strong enough that time that I thought I could handle it, however, hearing about stories in the news about bombings in areas he was placed scared the heck out of me and it's very stressful waiting to hear to make sure they're ok.

    However. Don't not go because of her. Stick to your plans if it's what you want to do. Relationships come and go, careers are harder to forge and require dedication and several years' work. If she's adamant that she wouldn't be able to cope then unfortunately it probably won't work.
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    I would, if it was true love!
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    I don't know how anyone can date anyone in the army (I'm referring specifically to the infantry and other positions considered dangerous with a potential risk to life) and my immediate interpretation is 'because he's a bad boy'.

    How on earth a girl could even consider being in a relationship with someone whereby they have a child together and the dad never comes home to the child is beyond me.

    If my girlfriend had a job where she could potentially be killed and leave me to pick up the remains, I'd immediately tell her that I don't want to be with her anymore. I could not cope with the stress of it.

    I personally think it's rather selfish to be with someone when you're in a role like that. You are leaving their lives permanently scarred and in tatters should anything happen to you.

    Of course, there are other risky jobs and I'm not getting into a debate of % of riskiness and so on but here we are talking about in the army and I think girls who have children with people who are in the army and away most of the year are selfish. What happened to family time and bringing up the baby together and so on. Get her pregnant (planned) and leave her to it while you work away for most of the year, yeah good one.
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    (Original post by lee1985)
    I don't know how anyone can date anyone in the army (I'm referring specifically to the infantry and other positions considered dangerous with a potential risk to life) and my immediate interpretation is 'because he's a bad boy'.

    How on earth a girl could even consider being in a relationship with someone whereby they have a child together and the dad never comes home to the child is beyond me.

    If my girlfriend had a job where she could potentially be killed and leave me to pick up the remains, I'd immediately tell her that I don't want to be with her anymore. I could not cope with the stress of it.

    I personally think it's rather selfish to be with someone when you're in a role like that. You are leaving their lives permanently scarred and in tatters should anything happen to you.

    Of course, there are other risky jobs and I'm not getting into a debate of % of riskiness and so on but here we are talking about in the army and I think girls who have children with people who are in the army and away most of the year are selfish. What happened to family time and bringing up the baby together and so on. Get her pregnant (planned) and leave her to it while you work away for most of the year, yeah good one.
    yea im not gonna have kids with her.

    i wouldnt have kids with sum1 when im in the army.
    i want to be there the whole time.
 
 
 
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