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Real talk- relationships, marriage, religion and love Watch

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    (Original post by superduper9)
    Your thread is logical and I appreciate your honesty.

    My point is this: once you become an adult, you have all the rights to live the way you want to live - by that I mean you can live in your own place, get a full-time job and then be self-sufficient so that you can enter into a relationship with the person you choose. This is ultimately what you want. If you want it, what's stopping you getting it? If your parents oppose, you have to make an effort to explain to them exactly what you've said here. String together a set of logical arguments and communicate your views and needs. If they don't accept or they oppose what you want to do, then that's their view, which you have to respect as this is a free country. Once you're an adult, however, they don't necessarily have any right to stop you nor do you have any obligation to remain bounded to their rules. In short, if you want something, go get it and don't let anyone stop you. You will face opposition and hardships, but that's part of the game.

    Best of luck
    Thanks for your advice and motivation buddy!! It really means a lot to see people understanding where I stand
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    (Original post by Skratch My Itch)
    I'm so glad I was never pushed into a religion. I hope you someday tell your parents and they understand. That would be the best scenario.
    That's such a nice action from your parents You should really appreciate that! I hope one day I can tell them as well It's just not going to be easy though
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    (Original post by ThatOneLegendAdz)
    Thanks for your advice and motivation buddy!! It really means a lot to see people understanding where I stand
    No problem mate! I've repped you for your sensible thoughts and your positivity
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    (Original post by ThatOneLegendAdz)
    That's such a nice action from your parents You should really appreciate that! I hope one day I can tell them as well It's just not going to be easy though
    Those who aren't pushed into religion are so so lucky!
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    is there a tl;dr? soz
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    (Original post by superduper9)
    No problem mate! I've repped you for your sensible thoughts and your positivity
    Thank you!
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    Is there anyway to kind of "bump" this post so more people can see it? I just want it to get some more comments etc it's been a week and I was hoping there'd be a few more people interested in what I had to say Please help if you know
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    My friend, you are not alone. I used to be exactly like this. When I was around 15/16, I started to doubt Islam and why I was raised up to be a Muslim and eventually telling my parents that I won't be practising being a Muslim anymore was the best choice I made. I told my parents that I will not let Islam rule my life and that I will do what I want to do and I now I am free!

    P.S. I told them a year or so after I started to doubt Islam
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    Technically you are not a Muslim anymore. Don't know what your problem is.
    You are totally immature and blame a religion for your miserable life.
    Have some nuts and tell your parents, if you feel pressured.

    The best poetry of the world comes from islamic countries. Iran, Turkey, India, Arab world. Just get educated and read some poetry. You will see that you talk crap that the religion is in your way of loving. Totally an opinion of someone not educated well.
    For example everyone here knows Romeo and Julia. But how many of you know Mecnun and Leila? Practically the same story written and talked about hundreds of years before Shakespear.
    Islamic way of living is full with real love. Because there you find what you don't find often here in western countries. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. 1 person forever.
    Yeah, for the guy/girl who wants to follow hedonism, this is a difficult thing.
    So, don't blame someone else or something else.
    It is your life.
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    I think this is a stunning post. It really is.
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    I know exactly how you feel, I'm 16 and I'm a Muslim girl and I feel like you have no free will, I have to marry a Muslim at the end of the day and even if I didn't my parents would support me but there's the chance of them getting kicked out from our sect of Islam (happened to other people) and I can't be the one to do that to my parents,
    I'm never allowed to show any skin such as my legs, besides my arms and even then it has to be at least half sleeved,
    When I'm a parent, I too will educate my children about different religions and let them choose what they want to do or not,
    If my son was gay I'd fully accept his decision and cut off anyone who would give him **** about it,
    I'm very open minded but these Asian traditions and these narrow minded thoughts piss me off, so many people are unhappy with the way they are bought up and it breaks my heart,
    Hang in there OP, I know how you feel, if you want you can PM to tali about it *hugs*

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    This is inspirational
    I am not in such a situation myself but i know people who are and i feel so sorry for them

    Can someone explain to me if arranged marriages are mandatory in the religions like Islam or hindu, I always feel that these religions promote caring for people but if they allow such things like forced arranged marriages to happen surely it contradicts itself?
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    (Original post by AbdulKoyes)
    My friend, you are not alone. I used to be exactly like this. When I was around 15/16, I started to doubt Islam and why I was raised up to be a Muslim and eventually telling my parents that I won't be practising being a Muslim anymore was the best choice I made. I told my parents that I will not let Islam rule my life and that I will do what I want to do and I now I am free!

    P.S. I told them a year or so after I started to doubt Islam
    That's really good to hear that you were able to tell them!! Great news!! Is your life better now? What did your parents say and how did they take it? Thanks for reading my post as well
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    (Original post by MrDystopia)
    I think this is a stunning post. It really is.
    Thank you! Especially for reading what is a big paragraph! What made you think it was stunning I'm just curious? Do you think where I'm coming from is reasonable in the post?
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    (Original post by noshahmad)
    I know exactly how you feel, I'm 16 and I'm a Muslim girl and I feel like you have no free will, I have to marry a Muslim at the end of the day and even if I didn't my parents would support me but there's the chance of them getting kicked out from our sect of Islam (happened to other people) and I can't be the one to do that to my parents,
    I'm never allowed to show any skin such as my legs, besides my arms and even then it has to be at least half sleeved,
    When I'm a parent, I too will educate my children about different religions and let them choose what they want to do or not,
    If my son was gay I'd fully accept his decision and cut off anyone who would give him **** about it,
    I'm very open minded but these Asian traditions and these narrow minded thoughts piss me off, so many people are unhappy with the way they are bought up and it breaks my heart,
    Hang in there OP, I know how you feel, if you want you can PM to tali about it *hugs*

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    Thank you so much for reading!! I'm so happy someone knows how I feel Personally, I think it's harder for a female in my position so I hope one day you can also do what I want to do one day Thanks for being there Pm me anytime you want as well
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    (Original post by nmanvi)
    This is inspirational
    I am not in such a situation myself but i know people who are and i feel so sorry for them

    Can someone explain to me if arranged marriages are mandatory in the religions like Islam or hindu, I always feel that these religions promote caring for people but if they allow such things like forced arranged marriages to happen surely it contradicts itself?
    Thanks for reading mate! What made it inspirational? I just want to know aha Can't really answer the last bit haha sorry
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    (Original post by ThatOneLegendAdz)
    This is a post on my feelings, emotions and views towards what our society calls love. I do not mean to offend anyone with this as this is just my OWN personal view and there is no intent for harming someone. Okay let's go I'm going to be writing my thoughts...
    Does anyone else feel how I do? I'm a 16 year old boy living in England and I have been raised a muslim. Personally I don't believe in my religion and don't think it is for me. Obviously I havn't mentioned any of this to my parents out of fear. But that's a different story. My problem lies with marriage as this is one of my fears being born a muslim as I know my parents will select a pool of candidates for me to meet and choose. I hate the way it's done! all of it! Why can't I go out into the world on my own and choose my own LIFE partner. I will spend the rest of MY life with a person that I want. Okay yes one of the girls from the "selection pool" may click with me and she may be my perfect match. What I'm saying is I would rather go out and date or spend time with a girlfriend and do what most others do.
    My biggest problem with the world, marriage, love and religion is it's ridiculous restrictions. I didn't choose to be born. I didn't choose to be born a muslim. But as soon as I'm born, doors for my life have been closed immediately. I can't go into certain jobs, do certain things, eat certain things and maybe even love the person I want most in my life. I havn't even chosen my own views and beliefs! I find it very ironic that religion is forced onto some children because it's their parent's religion. How is it a belief anymore if that certain individual has been forced to believe since the age of 4 by attending mosque everyday after school for 2 hours until the age of 16. I only recently left. I find it so stupid that a religion can place boundaries on who to marry and love. Love is between two people. No one on the face of the planet can feel what these two people in love are feeling. There's a reason for this. That reason is because it doesn't involve YOU. Why should thee religion be able to restrict who you spend YOUR life with. I mean it might be that the person doesn't even believe in the religion like in my case.
    Then you have the case of people not caring and doing what they want. This is what I want. I want to be able to choose who I want to marry and if that person may be a christian, muslim, athiest, jew, hindu, sikh then so be it. Beliefs are just things we've been told are true. We know the reality is true. It's like a post I saw on facebook. We know gay people exist yet we don't know for sure if God exists. Yet we deny gay people their rights on the off chance it may piss of God. It's like that for me. I know my love for someone will be real one day. Even if that person is "disliked" by my family, religion I don't care. In the end we have one chance to do something with our lives. I believe we shouldn't let restrictions stop us. Obviously I agree with laws and stuff but by restrictions I mean those that may not even be true or those that we do not necessarily have to follow or believe in.
    Why can't we all just be born, then educated about all the different things such as race, religion and people and make our own decision. If I am ever lucky enough to be a parent I don't give a ****. I will educate my child in all the different religions and let him/her choose what HE/SHE wants to do or be. The reason why... it won't affect me A LOT. It is their life. Yes I am their parent but there's only so much you influence in their life. You have to learn to give them freedom. Let them know there is a chance to become independent and do what THEY want.
    Hopefully one day I can be in a relationship that's full with love no matter who the person is at the end of the day. Christian, Hindu you name it. I think there really needs to be a change in this world. I hope you can catch my drift. Please comment if you want. Peace.
    PS I realize that this whole piece is emotional. I was crying over my keyboard after I had finished typing it
    I agree and feel the same. I was raised a christian but from the age I was old enough to think for myself I never beleived in it. As my parents arent VERY religious themselves it doesn't matter I chose to abandon religion, I actually really despise organised religion.

    If more people in the world took your practical, tolerant approach to learning, understanding and then choosing the world would be a much better place.
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    (Original post by sbj)
    Technically you are not a Muslim anymore. Don't know what your problem is.
    You are totally immature and blame a religion for your miserable life.
    Have some nuts and tell your parents, if you feel pressured.

    The best poetry of the world comes from islamic countries. Iran, Turkey, India, Arab world. Just get educated and read some poetry. You will see that you talk crap that the religion is in your way of loving. Totally an opinion of someone not educated well.
    For example everyone here knows Romeo and Julia. But how many of you know Mecnun and Leila? Practically the same story written and talked about hundreds of years before Shakespear.
    Islamic way of living is full with real love. Because there you find what you don't find often here in western countries. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. 1 person forever.
    Yeah, for the guy/girl who wants to follow hedonism, this is a difficult thing.
    So, don't blame someone else or something else.
    It is your life.
    How am I being immature? I never onced BLAMED the religion on my life. I said it wasn't for me. I don't care if others can find content in Islam that is their choice and it has no effect on my life so why should I say nobody should be muslim? I only said I don't agree with it that's my view. I don't why you're going on about poems and stuff I don't care about that. In my opinion it's not even relevant to today's standards.
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    (Original post by Amphiprion)
    I agree and feel the same. I was raised a christian but from the age I was old enough to think for myself I never beleived in it. As my parents arent VERY religious themselves it doesn't matter I chose to abandon religion, I actually really despise organised religion.

    If more people in the world took your practical, tolerant approach to learning, understanding and then choosing the world would be a much better place.
    Thank you so much for reading! Did you ever tell your parents? This post doesn't just apply to islam it can be the restrictions from any religion like in your case The whole post was about my view on the restrictions of religion on those who don't believe. It was just islam for my case this can apply to anyone. I'm so glad people are agreeing with what I had to say! I kept telling myself in my head that what I was writing was stupid and I would be labelled like a coward or wahtever. Thanks for this buddy!
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    If only everyone else had as much common sense as you


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