Guys, Would You Date a Single Mum?
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Can't answer this personally since I'm a girl but I asked my husband hypothetically if I had a child when we met and he said he still would be with me and if anything would probably strive harder to provide a stable household sooner (finances, uni etc)
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Absolutely not.
I dont date down
I dont date down
Original post by orange crush
It's more just not feeling ready to do that sort of thing. I'm a 19 year old student, last thing I want to do is be a step-father type figure, hence why anything more than casual sex is off the table
That's understandable at your age, especially if you have school and stuff.
But if it was your child, would you still bring the child up? If you would, then there's no reason why you can't bring up another man's child. The only difference is in the fact that he isn't yours biologically.
Original post by matthewduncan
Absolutely not.
I dont date down
I dont date down
Dating down?
Like you're some esteemed individual that women are falling over themselves to date. Stay funny tsr
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(edited 9 years ago)
28 and nope. Not a chance.
As long as she understands that I have no idea how to look after kids and that she'll have to deal with it, yes.
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
I don't understand what the issue is with bringing up another man's child? It's just a child for goodness sake! Hardly some fragile alien that needs 24/7 care, just screams of a lack of fatherly traits imo.
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well said think your right at the end of the day you shouldn't be looking at the persons situation ie divorced / single/ child when making a decision if you are falling in love with some one at the end of the day that child is part of that person and makes them the person they are. in my view there is no harm in being with a single mum at all as long as there is clear guide lines as in you are not there as a substitute dad to be known as "dad" as that would just be confusing for the child. but there would be a degree of responsibility.
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
That's understandable at your age, especially if you have school and stuff.
But if it was your child, would you still bring the child up? If you would, then there's no reason why you can't bring up another man's child. The only difference is in the fact that he isn't yours biologically.
Dating down?
Like you're some esteemed individual that women are falling over themselves to date. Stay funny tsr
Posted from TSR Mobile
But if it was your child, would you still bring the child up? If you would, then there's no reason why you can't bring up another man's child. The only difference is in the fact that he isn't yours biologically.
Dating down?
Like you're some esteemed individual that women are falling over themselves to date. Stay funny tsr
Posted from TSR Mobile
Im glad you've noticed this
I wouldn't until I graduate myself.
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
That's understandable at your age, especially if you have school and stuff.
But if it was your child, would you still bring the child up? If you would, then there's no reason why you can't bring up another man's child. The only difference is in the fact that he isn't yours biologically.
Dating down?
Like you're some esteemed individual that women are falling over themselves to date. Stay funny tsr
Posted from TSR Mobile
But if it was your child, would you still bring the child up? If you would, then there's no reason why you can't bring up another man's child. The only difference is in the fact that he isn't yours biologically.
Dating down?
Like you're some esteemed individual that women are falling over themselves to date. Stay funny tsr
Posted from TSR Mobile
Obviously if I had actually gotten someone pregnant then I'd do my responsibilities and bring the kid up, but I'd also be smart enough to put something on the end of it so that wouldn't happen
If I was like 25 then I'd probably be more open to it, but for now it's baggage of an almost prohibitive level
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
I don't understand what the issue is with bringing up another man's child? It's just a child for goodness sake! Hardly some fragile alien that needs 24/7 care, just screams of a lack of fatherly traits imo.
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It's not about bringing up another person's child. It's about bringing up a child you did not decide to have. Having children is one of the most serious decisions to make that will effect you for the rest of your life. Entering in a relationship with a parent removes the freedom to exercise that decision. It's not like taking care of a dog and so on. If you were to enter a relationship, at some point, you would be expected to help in bringing up the child and were the parent die, you would probably be expected to take care of the child yourself. It's a matter of freedom, my dear empathy-lacking Eva.
Original post by donutaud15
Can't answer this personally since I'm a girl but I asked my husband hypothetically if I had a child when we met and he said he still would be with me and if anything would probably strive harder to provide a stable household sooner (finances, uni etc)
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How naive. He is your husband. Don't expect him to be brutally honest with you if he thinks that level of honesty might damage your relationship. If he said he was to leave you if you had a child when you met, would you like that response? I bet 8 pints that most people would not like it, and so, your husband is most likely being polite.
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
That's understandable at your age, especially if you have school and stuff.
But if it was your child, would you still bring the child up? If you would, then there's no reason why you can't bring up another man's child. The only difference is in the fact that he isn't yours biologically.
Posted from TSR Mobile
But if it was your child, would you still bring the child up? If you would, then there's no reason why you can't bring up another man's child. The only difference is in the fact that he isn't yours biologically.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Nonsense. The only relevant difference is that in the case of the biological child, you contributed to produce the child and hence you have a responsibility to take care of him but since you did not contribute to produce the non-biological child, there is no sense of responsibility. And why would put a burden upon your shoulders if you have the chance not to put it on your shoulders?
Only if the child was past the pooing in pants stage.
A relative always swore he would not date unmarried mum because of the baggage. However, he ended up dating sister of unmarried mum and this caused grief. She and her sister worked their working hours so one could be there for child - they lived separately in own homes. Relative was only very early 20s and gf some years older. Relative could not cope as nephew and other relatives of gf all came before him and girlfriends life centred round nephew. I would advise any guy to think carefully before getting involved. What if you grow genuinely fond of kid and gf splits with you? You lose them both.
The single mothers with pre school children that I have known have not had a problem with getting boyfriends, however whether the boyfriends stay for the long term is another issue.
BEWARE... It may be difficult to find a boyfriend and if some men are keen about getting with you as a single mother... Maybe they have another reason to want to be with you. Because of this issue, I'm not sure whether you should mention the fact that you have a child when you first meet someone. Perhaps this is unfair on the average bloke who may fall in love with you and then discover you have a child, but your child will be more important to you than potential relationships...
Maybe I'm overly cynical?
BEWARE... It may be difficult to find a boyfriend and if some men are keen about getting with you as a single mother... Maybe they have another reason to want to be with you. Because of this issue, I'm not sure whether you should mention the fact that you have a child when you first meet someone. Perhaps this is unfair on the average bloke who may fall in love with you and then discover you have a child, but your child will be more important to you than potential relationships...
Maybe I'm overly cynical?
Original post by Juichiro
How naive. He is your husband. Don't expect him to be brutally honest with you if he thinks that level of honesty might damage your relationship. If he said he was to leave you if you had a child when you met, would you like that response? I bet 8 pints that most people would not like it, and so, your husband is most likely being polite.
Then you would lose your 8 pints because 1. I've asked him the same question when we were just friends. 2. He's brutally honest.
You see my husband is not the sort who would lie to protect my feelings. Even if the answer makes me angry or hurt he would still say it.
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Original post by donutaud15
Then you would lose your 8 pints because 1. I've asked him the same question when we were just friends. 2. He's brutally honest.
You see my husband is not the sort who would lie to protect my feelings. Even if the answer makes me angry or hurt he would still say it.
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You see my husband is not the sort who would lie to protect my feelings. Even if the answer makes me angry or hurt he would still say it.
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That makes no sense. When you were FRIENDS, you asked him "if I had a child when we met and he said he still would be with me and if anything would probably strive harder to provide a stable household sooner". See the bolded bits, either you asked him the questions when you in a relationship "he still would be with me" (implied you asked him the question when he was with you).
And even if he wasn't your partner when you asked him the question, he could still lie to you just not to lose the chance to date you.
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