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How to confront my friend about this.. Watch

  • View Poll Results: What to do about this holiday
    Scramble to find a replacement
    10
    38.46%
    Go on holiday by myself
    8
    30.77%
    Cancel the holiday altogether
    7
    26.92%
    Other, ideas?
    1
    3.85%

    • #1
    #1

    I don't know you but this used happened to me on a couple of occasions in real life except it wasn't as serious as this and the ******** person keeps saying 'oh don't worry, you go, I will go with my friend here but don't worry about me'. So I messed up something for them, never felt better haha. But I feel a lot of sympathy for you .
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    Great friend!
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    (Original post by parry_93)
    Basically me and a friend (lets call her Amy) of four years booked a holiday in March to go away in August.

    Me and Amy did a joint search for this holiday and found a lovely hotel, with a nice kitchen, 5 minuets walk from the beach, so we snapped up the deal for this week long holiday in August.

    We have paid all the holiday off, and started organising what we could do on holiday, eating out, how much money we were going to take, holiday shopping etc.

    We are due to fly to our destination in 4 weeks..

    However today Amy dropped this bombshell on me.. (image attached) http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/atta...d=302440&stc=1

    Basically saying that she would rather go on holiday with her boyfriend of a few months than myself...

    I struggled to get the time off work for this holiday and pleaded with my bosses to give me the time off.

    I've not said anything yet - Most of my friends work so are going to struggle to get time off work, and also find £400 to pay for the holiday, plus sending money etc.

    I really don't know what to do if I can't find a replacement!

    help appreciated.
    I can't believe she's done that to you I would be so angry and my friend would know it!
    Try and find someone to pay for it but if you can't tell her you aren't paying any fees for under occupancy and she will have to give her holiday to someone I'm sure someone will take a free holiday apart from the name change fees either way she will be losing the money because if you cancel you'll lose the money and if you sell she'll lose a lot of money because she should take what is left of the sale after you have taken the full amount you have paid away not your fault she's decided to be a ***** and has ditched you for her boyfriend. Tell her those are her options or she comes with you but make sure you don't lose any money you shouldn't have to miss out because of someone elses selfish behaviour and if she does come and is resentful just leave her be and go your separate ways.
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    (Original post by victoriajackson)
    I can't believe she's done that to you I would be so angry and my friend would know it!
    Try and find someone to pay for it but if you can't tell her you aren't paying any fees for under occupancy and she will have to give her holiday to someone I'm sure someone will take a free holiday apart from the name change fees either way she will be losing the money because if you cancel you'll lose the money and if you sell she'll lose a lot of money because she should take what is left of the sale after you have taken the full amount you have paid away not your fault she's decided to be a ***** and has ditched you for her boyfriend. Tell her those are her options or she comes with you but make sure you don't lose any money you shouldn't have to miss out because of someone elses selfish behaviour and if she does come and is resentful just leave her be and go your separate ways.
    I've asked a friend but he's not sure.
    He's already had a month off and would have to borrow money from his mum to pay for it.

    But I did say if her boyf wants to go then fine but to give me cash for it.

    I got a reply of
    " I'm not saying I don't wanna go with you it's just money is tight and they don't really want me having August off. If he can't then we will still go xx"

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    (Original post by parry_93)
    I've asked a friend but he's not sure.
    He's already had a month off and would have to borrow money from his mum to pay for it.

    But I did say if her boyf wants to go then fine but to give me cash for it.

    I got a reply of
    " I'm not saying I don't wanna go with you it's just money is tight and they don't really want me having August off. If he can't then we will still go xx"

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    What so they don't want her having August off so that's part of her excuse but if her boyfriend can go in August she's fine about work not wanting her to have August off?
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    (Original post by victoriajackson)
    What so they don't want her having August off so that's part of her excuse but if her boyfriend can go in August she's fine about work not wanting her to have August off?
    She has had the time off confirmed at work.
    If my friend / her boyf can't go then basically she'll still go but works going to be tetchy tbh I think she wants to holiday with her boyfriend more.


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    How about 'besties before testes'? I think that's the best female variant of 'bros before hoes' I've seen yet...
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    (Original post by Pride)
    How about 'besties before testes'? I think that's the best female variant of 'bros before hoes' I've seen yet...
    Chicks before dicks.
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    (Original post by MJ1012)
    Chicks before dicks.
    also a good one
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    UPDATE

    My friend Amy text me and asked if her boyfriend could get time off work could be take my place :getmecoat:
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    (Original post by parry_93)
    Basically me and a friend (lets call her Amy) of four years booked a holiday in March to go away in August.

    Me and Amy did a joint search for this holiday and found a lovely hotel, with a nice kitchen, 5 minuets walk from the beach, so we snapped up the deal for this week long holiday in August.

    We have paid all the holiday off, and started organising what we could do on holiday, eating out, how much money we were going to take, holiday shopping etc.

    We are due to fly to our destination in 4 weeks..

    However today Amy dropped this bombshell on me.. (image attached) http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/atta...d=302440&stc=1

    Basically saying that she would rather go on holiday with her boyfriend of a few months than myself...

    I struggled to get the time off work for this holiday and pleaded with my bosses to give me the time off.

    I've not said anything yet - Most of my friends work so are going to struggle to get time off work, and also find £400 to pay for the holiday, plus sending money etc.

    I really don't know what to do if I can't find a replacement!

    help appreciated.
    WHAT A *****!

    I run out of word. WHAT A SCUM BAG!
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    (Original post by parry_93)
    UPDATE

    My friend Amy text me and asked if her boyfriend could get time off work could be take my place :getmecoat:
    Jesus. What is the matter with her??

    What do you think you will do? I wish I had some advice for you but I don't know what I'd do myself. I'd be completely livid and not want to go with her though.
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    (Original post by Jelkin)
    Jesus. What is the matter with her??

    What do you think you will do? I wish I had some advice for you but I don't know what I'd do myself. I'd be completely livid and not want to go with her though.
    I don't even know,

    I've not had the chance to speak to her as I've been away with barely enough signal to text people who I'm with let alone sort this mess out.

    We booked go THREE weeks on Tuesday (19th Aug).
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    I'd just let him buy you out and use the money to go on holiday with someone who actually isn't a *****.

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    (Original post by hey_its_me)
    I'd just let him buy you out and use the money to go on holiday with someone who actually isn't a *****.

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    The problem would be holidays from work and then actually finding someone who has the money for a holiday + spending.
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    Save up for next year and top up with money from the coming year

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    Do remember that you can still go on your own and have a lovely time
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    (Original post by parry_93)
    UPDATE

    My friend Amy text me and asked if her boyfriend could get time off work could be take my place :getmecoat:
    Personally I would be saying something like this to her...

    "We booked this holiday together and you're the one who has changed her mind about it. If you don't want to go then its down to you to find someone to replace you, and if you can't find anyone then I'll be going alone and you won't be getting a refund. Why should I miss out on my holiday (or end up significantly out of pocket) because you've changed your mind about it?"

    But I suppose it depends whether you want to stay friends with her or not :confused:
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    (Original post by parry_93)
    UPDATE

    My friend Amy text me and asked if her boyfriend could get time off work could be take my place :getmecoat:

    (Original post by lauren1981)
    Personally I would be saying something like this to her...

    "We booked this holiday together and you're the one who has changed her mind about it. If you don't want to go then its down to you to find someone to replace you, and if you can't find anyone then I'll be going alone and you won't be getting a refund. Why should I miss out on my holiday (or end up significantly out of pocket) because you've changed your mind about it?"

    But I suppose it depends whether you want to stay friends with her or not :confused:



    Wait a second, are you saying that she has asked for her boyfriend to buy you out.... so shes basically wants to ditch you and go on YOUR holiday with him instead? Is she still planning on going on holiday with him and his family too? Or has she cancelled the family holiday now so she can go on YOUR holiday with him... I am actually angry at her. I agree with the advice that the other person has given.

    The way I see it you have two options.

    Option 1: Do not find a replacement for her (so she loses out on her money for being such a b**** ) and do not reimburse her on any money which she has spent. It sucks you might have to pay more for under-occupying the hotel room but at least the money won't be lining your "friends" pocket.

    Option 2: Sell your place to her boyfriend for full price. IN CASH BEFORE YOU GIVE THE BOYFRIEND ANY TICKETS. If you dont get the money from him before you hand over any tickets i'll doubt you'll ever get it. She clearly doesn't value your friendship or give a s**t about you, so she wont hound her boyfriend for the money to pay you back in the future. Remember if she cared she wouldn't have put you in this situation. Like you've said you've only seen him once.


    Tbh if it was me I would go with option 1. Just say "I still want to go on the holiday because i've planned it and I am really looking forward to it. If you want to join me like we've planned then then thats fine, but because I cant find a replacement for you i'll be going by myself".
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    (Original post by Hyrule Wayfarer)
    Wait a second, are you saying that she has asked for her boyfriend to buy you out.... so shes basically wants to ditch you and go on YOUR holiday with him instead? Is she still planning on going on holiday with him and his family too? Or has she cancelled the family holiday now so she can go on YOUR holiday with him... I am actually angry at her. I agree with the advice that the other person has given.

    The way I see it you have two options.

    Option 1: Do not find a replacement for her (so she loses out on her money for being such a b**** ) and do not reimburse her on any money which she has spent. It sucks you might have to pay more for under-occupying the hotel room but at least the money won't be lining your "friends" pocket.

    Option 2: Sell your place to her boyfriend for full price. IN CASH BEFORE YOU GIVE THE BOYFRIEND ANY TICKETS. If you dont get the money from him before you hand over any tickets i'll doubt you'll ever get it. She clearly doesn't value your friendship or give a s**t about you, so she wont hound her boyfriend for the money to pay you back in the future. Remember if she cared she wouldn't have put you in this situation. Like you've said you've only seen him once.


    Tbh if it was me I would go with option 1. Just say "I still want to go on the holiday because i've planned it and I am really looking forward to it. If you want to join me like we've planned then then thats fine, but because I cant find a replacement for you i'll be going by myself".
    I completely agree with this. She should lose out on money because she was awful. Option 1's good.
    But then option 2 is pretty good if you don't want to go on holiday with her anymore. That was just rude. People are insanely annoying and I think you could get her back by selling your own ticket to someone other than the boyfriend and not selling hers. So she can go with a complete stranger or lose the money (: I think that's completely fair!
 
 
 
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