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My girl friend says she doesn't want to have sex when we meet up in 9 days?? Watch

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    (Original post by Clip)
    This kind of thread makes me so angry. It's like everyone has taken a stupid pill.

    If she's getting infections - then don't do it. Do something else. She hasn't got a UTI in her mouth has she? No. Problem solved.
    As someone in a long distance relationship, I think sex when you meet up is pretty important, I'd be upset if I didn't feel like she was that bothered about doing it. I guess some guys love blowjobs, but I don't think anything really compares to full sex.
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    Are you with her for the sex only? I'm assuming not.
    She clearly likes sleeping with you, but genuinely doesn't want to risk having a UTI on holiday in France. That is completely reasonable.
    You can have sex again later. The fact she is stressed about it knowing there's a big trip coming up will only make her immune system weaker and her more likely to get a UTI even with preventative precautions and cranberry juice. So let her be man, don't pressure her or get annoyed. It will help reduce her stress levels and chances of it being a continuing problem if you give her a chance to not worry about it for now.
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    (Original post by Clip)
    This kind of thread makes me so angry. It's like everyone has taken a stupid pill.

    If she's getting infections - then don't do it. Do something else. She hasn't got a UTI in her mouth has she? No. Problem solved.

    I'd be really, REALLY, gratefully if you took your time to be considerate. Calling people stupid because they aren't doing a Phd in gynaecology is absurd.
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    Poor girl UTIs are really horrible. Cranberry juice doesn't necessarily make them better - in fact, there is no way to full-on prevent them. Going to the loo before/after sex, drinking lots of water to facilitate this, and yes, cranberry juice, can help, but there's basically no way to be sure or even to drastically reduce your chances. And doctors only give antibiotics after 3 days (*shudder*) because you should avoid taking them wherever possible. It's very understandable that she wouldn't want to risk an infection when away in a strange place. I get that it's very frustrating for you but you can do other things with her.

    Everyone else thinking they're really smart by pointing out that the urethra is a different hole, I think you should probably read up on UTIs.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'd be really, REALLY, gratefully if you took your time to be considerate. Calling people stupid because they aren't doing a Phd in gynaecology is absurd.
    Oh I'm sorry - you need to be a gynaecologist to work out that you can have sex with other orifices?
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    (Original post by Ribbits)
    Are you with her for the sex only? I'm assuming not.
    She clearly likes sleeping with you, but genuinely doesn't want to risk having a UTI on holiday in France. That is completely reasonable.
    You can have sex again later. The fact she is stressed about it knowing there's a big trip coming up will only make her immune system weaker and her more likely to get a UTI even with preventative precautions and cranberry juice. So let her be man, don't pressure her or get annoyed. It will help reduce her stress levels and chances of it being a continuing problem if you give her a chance to not worry about it for now.

    I'm in love with her ... I'm in this relationship because of her, not the sex ... but yeah, a little sex once in a while would be appreciate by both of us.

    I'm not pressuring her, nor am I annoying her in any way ... I'm actually being quite appreciative that she has a week bladder which is easily infected!

    My GF worries A LOT, and I mean A LOT ... she will constantly worry about me leaving her, falling out of love with her. She worries about not getting the grade she wants at Uni even though she got a first this year ... she's really insecure, but I don't care about that, it doesn't bother me ... I want to be there for her, and so I am.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    As someone in a long distance relationship, I think sex when you meet up is pretty important, I'd be upset if I didn't feel like she was that bothered about doing it. I guess some guys love blowjobs, but I don't think anything really compares to full sex.
    I'm in an LDR as well and it is extremely frustrating. But I've also had UTIs, and if I were prone to them I would have exactly the same attitude in this girl's position. Seriously - they are awful.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Nothing really too personal actually ... no, she keeps telling me over, and over, and over about how much she loves having sex with me (even when the conversation is completely different) ... she has orgasmed at least 3 times in our 3 month relationship ... so I doubt it has anything to do with her enjoying it or not. Plus she told me "If I didn't get UTIs so often I'd have sex with you every day "
    Sounds pretty good, I think if a girl is cumming most times you do it they will be more up for sex.

    I dunno if this is generally true, but in my experience girls tend to get utis when they're more inexperienced, as the vagina isn't used to the irritation sex can cause. Maybe if you just persevere a bit they'll stop occuring?

    (Original post by Jelkin)
    I'm in an LDR as well and it is extremely frustrating. But I've also had UTIs, and if I were prone to them I would have exactly the same attitude in this girl's position. Seriously - they are awful.
    But surely you've got to get past them eventually, what would you do, just stop having sex?
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    (Original post by Jelkin)
    I'm in an LDR as well and it is extremely frustrating. But I've also had UTIs, and if I were prone to them I would have exactly the same attitude in this girl's position. Seriously - they are awful.
    Let me clarify: this is NOT a LDR ... we're both from London, she is simply away in York for a week with some family.

    She is heading down to London in a week's time, and I'm leaving to France Wednesday or Thursday.

    We're meeting in the South of France on the 29th.

    I can imagine how bad they are because I have had one in the past ... but it just seems strange.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Sounds pretty good, I think if a girl is cumming most times you do it they will be more up for sex.

    I dunno if this is generally true, but in my experience girls tend to get utis when they're more inexperienced, as the vagina isn't used to the irritation sex can cause. Maybe if you just persevere a bit they'll stop occuring?
    I'm sure that she'll get over them sooner or later. It could be that, possibly. She and her ex would do it almost 3 times every day(!) ... she left him after a year of hardship and abuse ... and started dating me 6 months later.
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    (Original post by Jelkin)
    Everyone else thinking they're really smart by pointing out that the urethra is a different hole, I think you should probably read up on UTIs.
    Agreed
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    (Original post by Clip)
    Oh I'm sorry - you need to be a gynaecologist to work out that you can have sex with other orifices?

    Douche.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We've had sex many times before, and each time she complains about a UTI afterwards.
    Some women do get UTIs constantly and sex can cause them to happen more frequently, she doesn't want to be in pain while she is trying to enjoy a holiday in France. If you can't understand that then that is your problem.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Some women do get UTIs constantly and sex can cause them to happen more frequently, she doesn't want to be in pain while she is trying to enjoy a holiday in France. If you can't understand that then that is your problem.
    Some of you just don't get it do you ...... I DO understand it, and I DON'T have a problem with it ... I just need some more info on UTIs and how common they could be; how to maybe decrease them too ...
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    I can certainly vouch for the fact some women do get UTIs every time or at least a lot of the time after sex. It happens to me every so often but used to happen pretty much constantly when me and my partner first started having sex.

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    (Original post by Yasmin25)
    I can certainly vouch for the fact some women do get UTIs every time or at least a lot of the time after sex. It happens to me every so often but used to happen pretty much constantly when me and my partner first started having sex.

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    And what do you do to "control" them?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    And what do you do to "control" them?
    I wash after sex and wear loose jammie bottoms rather than pants and trousers. I done that when I got them constantly but it didn't prevent them as much as it does now. Maybe my body has just got used to the infections.

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    (Original post by Yasmin25)
    I wash after sex and wear loose jammie bottoms rather than pants and trousers. I done that when I got them constantly but it didn't prevent them as much as it does now. Maybe my body has just got used to the infections.

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    But surely then, if we don't have sex, my GF will still have the same amount of UTIs she has now?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Nothing really too personal actually ... no, she keeps telling me over, and over, and over about how much she loves having sex with me (even when the conversation is completely different) ... she has orgasmed at least 3 times in our 3 month relationship ... so I doubt it has anything to do with her enjoying it or not. Plus she told me "If I didn't get UTIs so often I'd have sex with you every day "
    Sounds like she is very enthusiastic (though I'd have hoped you'd have made her orgasm more regularly than that, it's really not hard in my experience).

    My girlfriend also suffers from frequent UTIs which tend to come in flurries (I don't think particularly due to sex). Cranberry juice seems to work for her and obviously going for a piss after sex is essential.

    But I think your girlfriend really is just scared of getting a UTI on the first day and ruining her whole holiday. Maybe suggest sex on the last day, or just do other stuff: keep the mood positive and take this as a golden ticket to blowjob city. They say the French invented it...
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    (Original post by scrotgrot)
    Sounds like she is very enthusiastic (though I'd have hoped you'd have made her orgasm more regularly than that, it's really not hard in my experience).

    My girlfriend also suffers from frequent UTIs which tend to come in flurries (I don't think particularly due to sex). Cranberry juice seems to work for her and obviously going for a piss after sex is essential.

    But I think your girlfriend really is just scared of getting a UTI on the first day and ruining her whole holiday. Maybe suggest sex on the last day, or just do other stuff: keep the mood positive and take this as a golden ticket to blowjob city. They say the French invented it...

    Well we don't have the chance to have sex as often as you might do ... maybe 1 every 2 weeks or so ... mainly because of her UTIs, so I think 3 times is a good start.

    UTIs happen most commonly after sexual intercourse ... Every time we have sex she complains about it when I get home.

    Blow jobs are great and all ... but I'd like to have sex too you know.
 
 
 
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