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Scared of Parents ! Advice needed :( Watch

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    (Original post by Ankabout)
    Controlling parents seems to be a common problem among Asian children.
    Common? BS
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    (Original post by College_Dropout)
    Common? BS
    Lol, a stereotype then? Mine aren't controlling by the way.
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    (Original post by Ankabout)
    Lol, a stereotype then? Mine aren't controlling by the way.
    Tell them you are going to marry an atheist.

    see how well that goes for you.
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    (Original post by Radicalathiest)
    Tell them you are going to marry an atheist.

    see how well that goes for you.
    Why on earth would I do THAT? :lol: Ok IF I did that for whatever reason, they would probably be horrified and disappointed but they would accept it... after 5 years maybe.
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    Op, have you tried talking to them and pointing out how hypocritical it is when they presumably didn't have an arranged marriage?

    (Original post by ridwan12)
    Every parent claims that but it's never really enforced....
    Tell that to my (Asian) friend who was disowned and kicked out the house over a year ago because her boyfriend is white. No contact at all, even when she sends birthday messages.
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    (Original post by Ankabout)
    Why on earth would I do THAT? :lol: Ok IF I did that for whatever reason, they would probably be horrified and disappointed but they would accept it... after 5 years maybe.
    A simple test of boundaries

    your parents probably aren't that controlling as you do what is expected of you

    It when you step outside of these expectations that you see if they are truly 'controlling' or not.
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    (Original post by theronkinator)
    Op, have you tried talking to them and pointing out how hypocritical it is when they presumably didn't have an arranged marriage?



    Tell that to my (Asian) friend who was disowned and kicked out the house over a year ago because her boyfriend is white. No contact at all, even when she sends birthday messages.
    How is that a loss ? No one needs parents like that. She is better off without them.
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    (Original post by simran1996)
    Hey guys!

    I have a problem when it comes to my parents. My dad is a Englishman and is pretty much agnostic while my mum is a strict Sikh. They have agreed that I must marry a Sikh man and they tell me they have agreed to a arranged marriage on my behalf to someone in India.

    Now I don't really feel attracted to that many Sikh guys which is where the problem starts. I've seen the guys picture and I'm not attracted to him at all. I just think the whole beard and turban rules are quite unhygienic. It's not something i would like at all.

    I prefer dating white guys or even other brown guys who don't wear the turban and have a unhygienic beard, as long as they are somewhat attractive. They have told me that if I don't accept this then I would not be allowed to live in the home

    Any advice would be appreciated

    btw im im a non practicing Sikh
    Have you tried pointing out the fact that they're hypocritical since they did not have an arranged marriage and married from two different ethnicities.

    Also have you told them that you are not attracted to this guy and that there is no point in getting married to him if you do not like him in the first place and by forcing you to get married they are potentially ruining your life and it could just end in a divorce.

    Also this is forced marriage which is illegal. There is a difference between forced and arranged.
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    (Original post by Radicalathiest)
    A simple test of boundaries

    your parents probably aren't that controlling as you do what is expected of you

    It when you step outside of these expectations that you see if they are truly 'controlling' or not.
    At the very least, they CANNOT force me to marry anyone. I have said this to them and they agree.

    This is why I feel bad for the OP.
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    (Original post by Ankabout)
    At the very least, they CANNOT force me to marry anyone. I have said this to them and they agree.

    This is why I feel bad for the OP.
    You have been blessed with understanding parents. Alhamdulillah, count yourself lucky.

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    (Original post by Old_Simon)
    How is that a loss ? No one needs parents like that. She is better off without them.
    Its difficult to survive alone, you become vulnerable and who knows what could happen.

    We don't know the age of the OP so some advice could be foolish.
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    Have you tried telling them that this goes against the ethos of Sikhism?
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    (Original post by Grace by Yahweh)
    Its difficult to survive alone, you become vulnerable and who knows what could happen.

    We don't know the age of the OP so some advice could be foolish.
    Shes's 18 this year...
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    (Original post by Kutta)
    I was sure this would be a Pakistani Muslim when I clicked on it lol
    Really? As far as I know Simran isn't a Muslim name.
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    You are only 17/18 and your parents are already thinking of your marriage. :eek:
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    (Original post by Radicalathiest)
    Tell them you are going to marry an atheist.

    see how well that goes for you.
    Oddly I think my parents would be okay with atheist lool


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    (Original post by Trustno1)
    Oddly I think my parents would be okay with atheist lool


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    As would mine if I were to marry a Muslim.
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    (Original post by Radicalathiest)
    As would mine if I were to marry a Muslim.
    Hi 5 for supper cool parents


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    (Original post by simran1996)
    Hey guys!

    I have a problem when it comes to my parents. My dad is a Englishman and is pretty much agnostic while my mum is a strict Sikh. They have agreed that I must marry a Sikh man and they tell me they have agreed to a arranged marriage on my behalf to someone in India.

    Now I don't really feel attracted to that many Sikh guys which is where the problem starts. I've seen the guys picture and I'm not attracted to him at all. I just think the whole beard and turban rules are quite unhygienic. It's not something i would like at all.

    I prefer dating white guys or even other brown guys who don't wear the turban and have a unhygienic beard, as long as they are somewhat attractive. They have told me that if I don't accept this then I would not be allowed to live in the home

    Any advice would be appreciated

    btw im im a non practicing Sikh
    Reminds me of East is East. Not sure how you can be forced into marrying a Sikh man when your mother married a white agnostic
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    (Original post by Ornlu)
    Shes's 18 this year...
    Thank you. Still a vulnerable age to be kicked out of home.
 
 
 
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