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Guys, Has this ever happened to you? Guy/Girls, what do I do about it? Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi I'm a guy and I tend to get these situations every so often where a girl eyes you up and vice versa but kind of stands there I'm guessing waiting for you to chat to her without saying anything. However, since the girl is almost always a total stranger and it happens unexpectedly on the hoof as it were out of the blue I am often found wanting for finding something to say. Needless to say the thought of trying to chat to a stranger whom you know nothing about without coming across as a wierdo or inappropriate/awkward because you don't know her is difficult when faced with the situation.

    I often find that the girl can also become quickly p*ssed off looking as no conversation has been forth coming despite her making no effort herself which makes the situation even harder. After a while she often leaves in a huff or one of us just moves of events move on. Just wondering if any guys on here have had this happen to them? and guy/girls any ideas on how to handle it? i.e way to go about iniating conversation or something? Just also wondering why girls seem to look so p*ssed if nothing is happening, don't they know that its a kind of pressure that's difficult on the guy and really I think a two way thing communicationwise?
    If she's eyeing you up, you don't need to use great conversation, you don't need to win her over, she's already wanting you. Just say "hi, what's your name, how are you", simplest stuff.

    Most attractive girls are approached regularly, so they aren't going to start approaching guys. We can moan about how unfair it is however much we want, but I don't see it changing in the near future, so you've got to do the approaching. They don't want to do it for the same reason we don't, fear of rejection or looking stupid.
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    (Original post by Harrie Lyons)
    because you dont chat up every woman smiles at you :lol:
    shes not inviting you to start a relationship, its just meant to be a little fun moment between the two of you.
    if she thinks youre good looking shes also going to presume youve got plenty of women in your life and dont need to talk to random strangers.
    if you start a conversation fine, but dont force it and dont feel like you HAVE to talk to them
    youll understand all this once youre a bit older tbf
    Well some look peeved if I don't particularly if its being going on a while with a lot if eyeing up but still no communication. To be honest most blokes would see it as an opportunity to get laid, so unless you've already for a long term partner most guys would want to take advantage of the situation if possible, I know I do. Just seems a missed opportunity for nothing to happen. Sure you don't expect a relationship to happen straight away, but no doubt could lead into one. I agree its kind of fun as it is I get the feeling though from the female side they kind of want more, i.e. you're not playing you're part by not going up to them, particularly if you are eyeing each other up for a while, do it kind of puts the pressure on. Hence why I ask how others deal with this situation.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    If she's eyeing you up, you don't need to use great conversation, you don't need to win her over, she's already wanting you. Just say "hi, what's your name, how are you", simplest stuff.

    Most attractive girls are approached regularly, so they aren't going to start approaching guys. We can moan about how unfair it is however much we want, but I don't see it changing in the near future, so you've got to do the approaching. They don't want to do it for the same reason we don't, fear of rejection or looking stupid.
    Yeah, kind if what I figured, if they are eyeing you up then they already like you. So think you're spot on, still feels real weird though to say hi to a total stranger if you know what I mean.
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    Just go over and say" how long would it be until anyone would notice you missing?" Always goes down well.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well some look peeved if I don't particularly if its being going on a while with a lot if eyeing up but still no communication. To be honest most blokes would see it as an opportunity to get laid, so unless you've already for a long term partner most guys would want to take advantage of the situation if possible, I know I do. Just seems a missed opportunity for nothing to happen. Sure you don't expect a relationship to happen straight away, but no doubt could lead into one. I agree its kind of fun as it is I get the feeling though from the female side they kind of want more, i.e. you're not playing you're part by not going up to them, particularly if you are eyeing each other up for a while, do it kind of puts the pressure on. Hence why I ask how others deal with this situation.
    no they probably dont give a ****. if theyre looking annoyed it means they are getting freaked out at why you keeo staring at them, even if they thought you were attractive at first.
    they arent putting that much thought into it to tell you the truth.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, kind if what I figured, if they are eyeing you up then they already like you. So think you're spot on, still feels real weird though to say hi to a total stranger if you know what I mean.
    Oh, definitely, it took me so long to be able to approaching girls confidently. But I was in a club in March 2011, and I saw a girl look at me, I wasn't even certain she did, I'm not great at reading cues, but I felt quite confident and she was very attractive, so I went over and said hi, and we're still together today. She'd probably not have had the confidence to approach me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Interesting reply from a female is stuff about your eyes/smile what you would really like to hear from a stranger? I guess that would be true to the situation in all cases but would feel a bit out on a limb perhaps/a bit forward. Always wonder whether it would be easy to follow on with further conversation or whether she might do something like giggle a little/smile wryly and then it go s bit silent/awkward. What do you reckon?
    (Original post by Amphiprion)
    "What do you call a fish with no eye?

    Fsh.


    Oh man, I immediately regret that, I apologise for exposing you to such nonesense."

    Awful and cheesy as frig jokes. Personally if a girl i sput off me because of silly jokes Im not interested anyway yano?

    By that point, they either like you or hate you. I also find starting with terrible jokes gives you good ammunition for conversation via text for the few first days.
    Bad jokes are probably the way to go. Although I do have to add that only approach them if they have made eye contact and smiled or something similar, because girls do not like being hassled or cat called, so most definitely avoid that :L
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi I'm a guy and I tend to get these situations every so often where a girl eyes you up and vice versa but kind of stands there I'm guessing waiting for you to chat to her without saying anything. However, since the girl is almost always a total stranger and it happens unexpectedly on the hoof as it were out of the blue I am often found wanting for finding something to say. Needless to say the thought of trying to chat to a stranger whom you know nothing about without coming across as a wierdo or inappropriate/awkward because you don't know her is difficult when faced with the situation.

    I often find that the girl can also become quickly p*ssed off looking as no conversation has been forth coming despite her making no effort herself which makes the situation even harder. After a while she often leaves in a huff or one of us just moves of events move on. Just wondering if any guys on here have had this happen to them? and guy/girls any ideas on how to handle it? i.e way to go about iniating conversation or something? Just also wondering why girls seem to look so p*ssed if nothing is happening, don't they know that its a kind of pressure that's difficult on the guy and really I think a two way thing communicationwise?
    So a girl catches your eye, so my first question is, do you smile at her in a friendly kinda way?

    That's probably the first step.

    If she smiles back, consider moving nearer and saying "hello".

    After that it becomes more advanced. A safe first question might be "are you a student?"
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    (Original post by Sherlockedd)
    If you make eye contact then smile and try and use that as an 'ice breaker'? If she smiles back then approach her and say something about her smile/eyes?


    For the love of god, do not do this.

    The single most important impression any guy needs to project in the first 5 minutes is "I am a normal person, just like you, I'm just being friendly and sociable. I am definitely not a serial killer and I am definitely not trying to pick you up".

    Once you convince her of this, she will relax a little bit and THEN you can start to flirt with her.

    Using pickup lines, giving unwarranted complements, making sexual innuendos instantly puts a girl on the defensive and makes here wary of you. You might as well give up and go home.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, kind if what I figured, if they are eyeing you up then they already like you. So think you're spot on, still feels real weird though to say hi to a total stranger if you know what I mean.
    Why? I say hi to total strangers all the time. The bus driver, the receptionist, the bloke waiting for the bus, the old lady who dropped her bag etc etc etc.

    That's the problem nowadays, people are so ****ing anti-social, walking around with their earphones plugged in, ignoring the people around them, they have lost elementary social skills, then when they need them in order to make friends or find a partner, they're ****ed.

    We're a doomed species.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)

    After that it becomes more advanced. A safe first question might be "are you a student?"
    Yes this does sound much better and probably more towards my personality since I'm not really extrovert enough to make jokes with someone I don't know well unless the moment just happens.

    Its these sorts of follow on questions I'm talking about since I guess its of putting to say hello if you've not already got a kind of follow on as it kind of leaves you out on a limb. I think if you were to just say hello without having some idea of what to say next you might draw a blank in which case you could look odd by just saying hello. Hence, I guess that why I don't precede sometimes as all I've got is hello and can't think of anything else that sounds reasonably suitable. A bit like where some students minds go blank in an exam room when faced with an essay question my mind often goes blank in these sorts of situations however hard I try to think of something, it just sort of happens.

    Any more follow on questions like this would be good to hear, many thanks
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Would seem strange that it does not bother you, why would you want to pass up on someone you might be very attracted to/attractive. If both parties do nothing then surely both are missing out on a relationship that might give each other a better life?
    lol I just don't care much. The likelihood of a random stranger on the street having a personality I like is low. If it's in a social environment then it's different though.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes this does sound much better and probably more towards my personality since I'm not really extrovert enough to make jokes with someone I don't know well unless the moment just happens.

    Its these sorts of follow on questions I'm talking about since I guess its of putting to say hello if you've not already got a kind of follow on as it kind of leaves you out on a limb. I think if you were to just say hello without having some idea of what to say next you might draw a blank in which case you could look odd by just saying hello. Hence, I guess that why I don't precede sometimes as all I've got is hello and can't think of anything else that sounds reasonably suitable. A bit like where some students minds go blank in an exam room when faced with an essay question my mind often goes blank in these sorts of situations however hard I try to think of something, it just sort of happens.

    Any more follow on questions like this would be good to hear, many thanks
    The trick is, for the first five minutes just talk to her like you would talk to anyone else. Don't try to flirt, just make friendly small talk about wherever the conversation leads.

    Like, if she says yes she is a student, say "oh cool, me too, are you at X uni?" and then there are like 100 questions you can follow up with about her course or where she lives or how she's finding it or what pubs she usually goes to. Remember its not an inquisition, always share some information about yourself before asking another question. Try to be interesting and witty. If it becomes awkward standing at the bar or whatever, invite her and her friends to join you and your friends.
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    In my experience, smiling has been a successful icebreaker. Just start a little small talk about anything and that usually leads to a more directed conversation. If he doesn't start it then I usually try to strike up a conversation. Sometimes I'm hesitant because I'm like maybe he's already in a relationship idk lol
 
 
 
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