Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by KJane)
    He didn't accidently fall on her and it happened, he made an active choice to force sex on an unconscious girl. That is rape.
    We do not know that she was unconscious, she does not state that it remember it, we also do not know that he forced sex. She remembers nothing, so it is not rape - for all she/we know she consented.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Yes. You didn't give your consent. But then again he could say you never never said no or pushed him away but you weren't in a fit state to give your consent or push him away. He shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by brownsugar-xx)
    Yeah, was thinking the same.

    Which is why OP needs to give more deets.
    I think the problem is that she has no idea what happened so can't really give more info ...
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    According to the law, if you're drunk, you can't fully give consent. http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/atta...d=314003&stc=1http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/atta...d=314007&stc=1
    Attachments Pending Approval
  1. File Type: png rape2.png (14.4 KB)
  2. File Type: png rape.png (5.0 KB)
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by joker12345)
    I think the problem is that she has no idea what happened so can't really give more info ...
    In that case we don't know then, she could've been raped, she could've initiated the sex, it could have been consensual. Or she could've been the rapist :dontknow:

    I don't like how everyone's jumping to conclusions though.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    No, you were drunk, actually both of you. Both of you had no idea what on Earth was going on. Yet he probably did have a intention to have sex with you.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by LydiaFirefly<3)
    Yes. You didn't give your consent. But then again he could say you never never said no or pushed him away but you weren't in a fit state to give your consent or push him away. He shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    She does not know what happened, she didn't even remember the sex so obviously don't know whether or not she consented (or even initiated it) at the time. He was drunk too, perhaps she shouldn't have taken advantage of him?
    Men = rapist and woman = victim mentality is so strong here
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by brownsugar-xx)
    In that case we don't know then, she could've been raped, she could've initiated the sex, it could have been consensual. Or she could've been the rapist :dontknow:

    I don't like how everyone's jumping to conclusions though.
    What conclusions are they jumping to? Most people are saying you don't know so don't try and report and ruin his life
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    From BBC News: In making the ruling, Sir Igor said: "If, through drink - or for any other reason - the complainant has temporarily lost her capacity to choose whether to have intercourse on the relevant occasion, she is not consenting, and subject to questions about the defendant's state of mind, if the intercourse takes place, this would be rape.


    • Political Ambassador
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Political Ambassador
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by inachigeek21)
    No, you were drunk, actually both of you. Both of you had no idea what on Earth was going on. Yet he probably did have a intention to have sex with you.
    That just isn't strong enough.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by joker12345)
    What conclusions are they jumping to? Most people are saying you don't know so don't try and report and ruin his life
    Not everyone, my bad. But some people have already decided he's the rapist which isn't really fair.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    It's a tricky one. People mention consent. Well whenever I've had sex with someone new we don't actually discuss consent, you kind of go with the flow. I think only if you say no then consent is withdrawn personally. I wouldn't say it was rape unless there was something slipped into your drink to knock you out. It's concerning you saying that you ''blacked out''. How good of a friend was/is he? Could he have drugged you? Have you spoken to him about the one nighter?
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by geometrix)
    You didn't consent. Therefore it was rape. Just because you chose to drink that night does NOT make it your fault. It is never, ever, ever the victim's fault.
    But there's no evidence to suggest that she's a victim.
    • Political Ambassador
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Political Ambassador
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by geometrix)
    From BBC News: In making the ruling, Sir Igor said: "If, through drink - or for any other reason - the complainant has temporarily lost her capacity to choose whether to have intercourse on the relevant occasion, she is not consenting, and subject to questions about the defendant's state of mind, if the intercourse takes place, this would be rape.


    The bold part is very crucial, we can't just say she got raped if he was just as smashed as her and was incapable of initiating the action.

    More information is required before anything can be said, not to take anything away from victims of rape but responsible drinking or sobriety would do a lot to tackle these problems which can destroy lives.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by siamakdie)
    If you were both drunk then no. He might of not wanted to sleep with you either. Situations like these piss me off, why do you want to wreck someone elses life just because you made a stupid mistake to get drunk. Did someone rape you into going? Did they rape you into taking a drink? Did he pin you down and rape you?

    This ain't even rape, srs. I am all for rapists getting what they deserve, but this sounds like women who make dumb choices blaming other people for their mistakes. This is why i tape everything, so dumb girls don't come bite me in the ass with their double standards of peace.
    What the hell do you tape?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Seriously? You think you can't rape someone if you're drunk? Luckily the law doesn't agree with you.

    That question I've bolded implies that a woman can't be raped if she choose to go to the location of the rape by her own consent, which is so stupid I don't know where to start.

    Your attitude to rape is pretty worrying.

    The case isn't totally clear. OP, when you say you "blacked out", do you mean you were unconscious, or that you can't remember? If its the former it's a definite rape. If it's the latter, we can't be sure.
    He's saying if you were both drunk then no because then they couldn't be sure who initiated what and for all they know they both could've consented and it was just drunken sex.

    Your hypersensitivity to a guy who is just offering a valid opinion which I'm sure he wouldn't offer if he knew she was raped is what is worrying.

    Calm down
    until we get all the details, stop trying to be a white knight in search of internet pussy.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    So in conclusion...

    A guy gets really drunk and is hazy on the details the next day (think most people who've got incredibly drunk will know you can lose chunks of time)

    "Mate you got laid, you MUST have wanted it! Cos you're a male.."

    "eer...I guess so, I mean she's not really someone I'd go for thinking straight but.......I'll just forget about it I guess.."

    A girl gets really drunk and is hazy on the details...

    "You were raped! You didn't...probably didn't, give consent! Or at least you can't remember, HE'S A RAPIST! You don't take any responsibility by default...cos you're a female,"

    "You're right!"

    ....and drunk guy who may have been coerced into sex by the drunk girl for all anyone knows is now a rapist, nice.



    So yeah OP, if you are sure you were both pretty drunk I'd say it wasn't rape, just an awkward mistake you both move on from. Only thing you could do if you're unsure as to how drunk he really was is to see if you can find out from friends if he's boasting about getting with you while you were drunk/off your face, if so then I'd be re-considering and going for rape obviously.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by geometrix)
    According to the law, if you're drunk, you can't fully give consent. http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/atta...d=314003&stc=1http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/atta...d=314007&stc=1
    Therefore...he was raped too?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by geometrix)
    According to the law, if you're drunk, you can't fully give consent. http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/atta...d=314003&stc=1http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/atta...d=314007&stc=1
    Until we find out whether she was knocked out or not we don't know if she is just talking about being really drunk, him being really drunk and having sex.

    Since he was drunk too then it would be the case that he couldn't give consent either, so she would have raped him.

    If she was blacked out then it was rape. If not then it wasn't - they were both drunk, stop having double standards.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Munrot07)
    Therefore...he was raped too?
    Whoever initiates it is the rapist.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 20, 2014
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.