Flirting with a girl in the friendzone Watch

Tom78
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#21
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#21
Might be a lost cause if she's abroad..
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Anonymous #1
#22
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#22
(Original post by Tom78)
Might be a lost cause if she's abroad..
Recommendations? I feel like all the good people at my uni are on other courses or abroad now. Ppl left here are socially awkward.

(Original post by Redfrost)
Lol

yeah i liked that one too.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by kokopop)
happy to help! sorry i got back to you so late now that halloween has passed
but in response to your other question...if you are to use a nickname make it a really flrty one, im not sure what type of girl she is but i personally like being called cute and flirty nicknames, and i dont think theres any flirty jargon to say after hi, just always ask how she is and how her day was because as i said us girls lovee it when a guy is caring.. send her sweet messages when she's ill also she would love this
I mean I wished her well for diwali and she replied back after a few days apologising why she replied late and spoke to me for a while (via texting). She had the last word.

After halloween, she replied instantly. Started talking a bit, then sort of told me about her weekend and how she was stumped on what to buy her cousin. Then didn't reply to my next text.

Slightly confused. She used to initiate IM a lot. Texting, she does reply enthusiastically most of the time, and I've even had conversations get going. But she seems to just use them to tell a story to me.

I'm not sure she will initiate. Should I just wait? I think I get a buzz out of talking to her because I fancy her a teensy bit.

Sigh, hopeless romantic eh.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Tom78)
Might be a lost cause if she's abroad..
yeah true.

Should I stay friends? I mean I probably do fancy her a teensy bit... if I was single and she offered herself to me, then I would. But I value her funness in general. That's why I enjoy talking to her/texting her.

But I feel like now she just texts when she's feeling lonely. I mean, I initiate most of the time and we have long conversations, but I feel like I make her laugh/get her happy, she wants someone to listen to. Last time she sent the last text.

This time round, I ended up sending the last text to her question and no response.

Should I even bother initiating still?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by cole-slaw)
As you are not going to be able to meet up with her, I'm not sure what exactly you hope to achieve?

You're not going to get into a relationship long distance.
So should I stay friends with her/keep her number? I think it is partly because i am a bit lonely at the moment. (Not many ppl my age at work).

I find her fun when we talk. I do miss her. Yes might have fancied her a bit, but not looking for that as now she's a far distance away.

Time before last, I initiated, we had a great convo, she had last word.
Last time, I initiated, fairly good convo, she said she was struggling to find something for her relative as if asking me, and I ended up sending last message.

Should I bother initiating anymore then in your view? Is she just using me for someone to listen to her when she is lonely? Should I ditch this friendship or is it worth it?
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cole-slaw
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So should I stay friends with her/keep her number? I think it is partly because i am a bit lonely at the moment. (Not many ppl my age at work).

I find her fun when we talk. I do miss her. Yes might have fancied her a bit, but not looking for that as now she's a far distance away.

Time before last, I initiated, we had a great convo, she had last word.
Last time, I initiated, fairly good convo, she said she was struggling to find something for her relative as if asking me, and I ended up sending last message.

Should I bother initiating anymore then in your view? Is she just using me for someone to listen to her when she is lonely? Should I ditch this friendship or is it worth it?

Rather than worry about this one. I would go out and try and make some friends and look to meet a constant stream of attractive and interesting women.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by cole-slaw)
Rather than worry about this one. I would go out and try and make some friends and look to meet a constant stream of attractive and interesting women.
Fair enough. Trouble is I have been busy, so I guess meeting a constant stream has been put on the back burner.

So do you think I should just not initiate anymore with regards to this one?
I suppose that would decide whether she is a true friend or not. I mean it surely can't be up to the guy to constantly have to initiate a text conversation with a girl can it? I have other female acquaintainces who text me.

Thoughts?
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Anonymous #1
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Should I initiate? We haven't spoken for 2 weeks.

Should I just wait for her to initiate?

Girls, what do I do, when do you do the initiating?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Tom78)
Might be a lost cause if she's abroad..
In terms of initiating conversation, should I?

On IM she used to always initiate.

Texting, it has been me. We have a great convo, but it's me who initiates, and seems to listen to her. She seems to enjoy that, but hasn't initiated texting, except once where she was away and texted me back a few days later.

Should I wait for her to initiate? It's been 2 weeks now. Thanksgiving next week, should i wish her or not?
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reen92
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How do you flirt with a girl who you are acquaintaince/friends with? I'm not close close friends with her - we used to IM each other at work and she invited me to her party. At said party, she put her arm through mine as if we were a couple. I wish I could have been in her social circle, but I worked abroad for a year and then moved to London to start a year after she did. With my luck, when i met her, she was about to move abroad!

She now lives across the pond and I have her work email, personal email and whatsapp number. Before she left, she fished for information on whether I was dating anyone.

I understand that now she lives abroad, that texting to meet can't really be the objective, so how do you text her and get her laughing and get flirty?

I don't just think about her sexually - I genuinely value her friendship. She kept me company during a difficult time at work, and I think she appreciated me doing the same for her over IM when she was lonely after moving.

Thing is I do fancy her a little bit and may have dreamed about her occasionally. I would just like to be part of her life. At least to stay friends. She didn't really respond to emails as well as IM, and it seemed harder to generate a conversation. But she has responded to my texts. Although initiation on her part has been absent so far. (She used to initiate nearly all IM convos)

Should I text to wish her well on the weekend/halloween/new years? I usually do as some part of me enjoys making her day brighter.

Girls what do you think? Guys, advice? I do find her attractive, and yes I have fantasised about her.

Constructive advice pls, not just "friendzoned brah"
Sounds to me that if she's not striking up convo or replying chances are she's met somebody. U could continue to send her messages on special occasions so she knows you still think about her.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by reen92)
Sounds to me that if she's not striking up convo or replying chances are she's met somebody. U could continue to send her messages on special occasions so she knows you still think about her.
Thing is I believe she is single. I don't have FB, but a friend showed me and she looks like she is still single.

She can have varied attention, but i don't understand. She used to always initiate IM with me.

Texting on whatsapp, seems like I initiate. We have a great convo, where she loves that I'm listening and entertaining her. But it seems to be me starting the convo by seeing how she's doing or wishing her a good day or something.

Once she initiated, after having not responded for a few days. But how to get her to initiate more often?

It's thanksgiving next week, should I wish her? It would be me initiating again, but something about her makes me want to talk to her. She is hot too and I kinda like her a little. She's not "the one" though. Should I just let it go and not talk to her at all?
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reen92
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thing is I believe she is single. I don't have FB, but a friend showed me and she looks like she is still single.

She can have varied attention, but i don't understand. She used to always initiate IM with me.

Texting on whatsapp, seems like I initiate. We have a great convo, where she loves that I'm listening and entertaining her. But it seems to be me starting the convo by seeing how she's doing or wishing her a good day or something.

Once she initiated, after having not responded for a few days. But how to get her to initiate more often?

It's thanksgiving next week, should I wish her? It would be me initiating again, but something about her makes me want to talk to her. She is hot too and I kinda like her a little. She's not "the one" though. Should I just let it go and not talk to her at all?
1. How can someone look single? Mis read that paragraph
2. Yes wish her well
3. You could simply ask her y she doesnt start convo and take it from there
4. Or ask her if she's has a boyfriend
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az08
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#33
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Why are you obsessed in being her entertaining texting buddy? I am not surprised she is not messaging you, that would just get annoying and boring, you do NOT want to be her texting buddy.

You either go to see her wherever she is, or you wait till shes back to wherever you are and then arrange to meet up. Thats the only thing you should message her about.

The rest of the time go out and meet other girls.
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Anonymous #1
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#34
(Original post by reen92)
1. How can someone look single? Mis read that paragraph
2. Yes wish her well
3. You could simply ask her y she doesnt start convo and take it from there
4. Or ask her if she's has a boyfriend
1. No pictures with a boyfriend or mention of one.
2. Okay, so just keep initiating?
3. How to ask? I feel sad because only I initiate now. If she likes/says she likes my compliments during our text convos, why does she not start one?
4. How though? Once she fished for whether I had a girlfriend, but I don't know what to say.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Foo.mp3)
Please OP, grow some balls (if you want to message her, then message her already!) + get a life (focus on girls in your proximity). You must know deep down that fixating on such a, literally, distant/virtual prospect is unwise? :confused:
I do meet other girls. It's just I kinda like the look of and funness of this one.

Should I just not bother to keep in touch then? For some reason, I feel happy when texting her. Feel excited about it.

Should I keep initiating?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by az08)
Why are you obsessed in being her entertaining texting buddy? I am not surprised she is not messaging you, that would just get annoying and boring, you do NOT want to be her texting buddy.

You either go to see her wherever she is, or you wait till shes back to wherever you are and then arrange to meet up. Thats the only thing you should message her about.

The rest of the time go out and meet other girls.
Nah, I don't want to be a texting buddy, but I want her to remember me/want me a bit. I enjoy texting her, feel a little excitement when we text each other. I kinda fancy her as she is hot.

I do go out and meet other girls, but I feel nervous when texting this one. She may not be here till early next year, and I'm not planning on going over there.

Should I just not text her or keep in touch then? How do I make her lust for me/initiate?

Should I wish her happy thanksgiving next week?
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reen92
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(Original post by Anonymous)
1. No pictures with a boyfriend or mention of one.
2. Okay, so just keep initiating?
3. How to ask? I feel sad because only I initiate now. If she likes/says she likes my compliments during our text convos, why does she not start one?
4. How though? Once she fished for whether I had a girlfriend, but I don't know what to say.
Your going to drive yourself crazy. I'm a girl and if I wasnt initiating it would be either because I'm not interested or I have a boyfriend. Until u find out u will keep feeling the same way. Sending will wishes is not really initiating it's a polite thing to do and if she's doesn't reply leave it at that. To be honestt your not getting anything back leave her be. You could say something like 'I dnt want to seem silly but is there a reason your not interested anymore' unless your not such a forward person. Just ask are u seeing anybody? Was she asking if u had a girlfriend as part of convo or did it seem like something more
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by reen92)
Your going to drive yourself crazy. I'm a girl and if I wasnt initiating it would be either because I'm not interested or I have a boyfriend. Until u find out u will keep feeling the same way. Sending will wishes is not really initiating it's a polite thing to do and if she's doesn't reply leave it at that. To be honestt your not getting anything back leave her be. You could say something like 'I dnt want to seem silly but is there a reason your not interested anymore' unless your not such a forward person. Just ask are u seeing anybody? Was she asking if u had a girlfriend as part of convo or did it seem like something more
When she fished the convo was like this:
She goes, have you been to xyz? Then when I said no, she said you should go. I've been, it was great. You should take your date there lol. I then said gotcha, will do, just need to grab a date. Then she said haha love alert, ask out an intern. or something like that.

She started that topic randomly.

I'm not so forward to ask "Have you got a boyfriend". I mean I would like to wish her well, she normally does respond. But I feel like I'm always chasing. I would like to stay in touch with her though.

She used to always always initiate on IM.

Should I just keep initiating by text and hope for the best?
Feel like sometimes, she likes the fact that I am there to listen to her problems and make her feel good about herself. But I fancy her and sometimes dream about her... as in she is really hot!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Foo.mp3)
That's cool but you need to literally coach yourself into friendzoning this girl until there's any realistic prospect of you dating, otherwise it is likely to become an unhealthy stumbling block in your life
Okay, how do i friendzone her? And should I wish her happy thanksgiving? Should I flirt with her in text?

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
No, always aim for balance at the very least, if not to have the girl chasing you before long. Anything else is a waste of energy and again, destined to take you to a sad place in all probability
Agreed. It could be because I recently got ballsy/bold and asked for her whatsapp recently after she moved, that it's me initiating now, but should I send the first message on thanksgiving?

What about xmas, still me? Or should I just forget about her? Damn she is hot though.
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reen92
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To.be honest leave her you will find better. If u teXT her having thanks giving and she doesn't reply then that's all u need to know. Is this your first crush?
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