People tell me i'm beautiful but i'm still insecure? Watch

Kaiju
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#21
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#21
You're not supposed to think you're beautiful. You're supposed to come to terms with the cards you've been dealt - all the positive "you are perfect" self-help stuff is garbage and just propagates the problem - if someone doesn't feel beautiful, but is told that they should feel beautiful, it becomes a constant game of beating themselves up because they just can't.

A lot of people are aware of their imperfections and are still fine with them, y'know? That's the key, here.
Imagine if you were ugly af.
So what?

You're seeking constant positive affirmation from people. That's fine, I guess, but it's going to get abused eventually and it can come across as annoying when you're asking people all of the time -especially if those people rate you as more attractive than they are.
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prettyGirl101
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#22
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#22
(Original post by Foo.mp3)
I feel your pain

Take a look at my related threads, and, failing that - feel free to PM me for more bespoke advice/ideas


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thought u were a narcissist
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Exon
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#23
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#23
Maybe it's because you don't see yourself that way?
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1468917
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#24
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Eh, one day you just stop caring what others think of you. That day is when you're fully confident in who you are. I never knew what this meant until I became confident. Now, I realllllly couldn't care less if people don't think I'm their cup of tea.

Just tell yourself that you are who you are - we can't change that. it warms my heart when people tell me that I am beautiful and that should be the same for you! But you don't need confirmation if you believe it yourself

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prettyGirl101
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#25
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#25
Amazing advice xxxxx
(Original post by Captivated)
Eh, one day you just stop caring what others think of you. That day is when you're fully confident in who you are. I never knew what this meant until I became confident. Now, I realllllly couldn't care less if people don't think I'm their cup of tea.

Just tell yourself that you are who you are - we can't change that. it warms my heart when people tell me that I am beautiful and that should be the same for you! But you don't need confirmation if you believe it yourself

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lotusbloom
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#26
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#26
(Original post by prettyGirl101)
But i have to constant urge to be told i'm beautiful its honestly so sad
Hello I think that's your problem - that you rely heavily on other people to affirm your beauty. If you rely on other people to do that you then also give them the power to control how you feel about yourself. Of course we all enjoy being complimented which is fine but try not to make that the source of your confidence.

All that really matters is how you see yourself. You can get praised by others all day and night but if you can't look into the mirror and say those same words to yourself sincerely then you will always feel empty.

It's tough I know. I've been working on this for a very long time myself and trying to dissociate my physical body from the person I truly am and I'm probably half way there. Also being 'recovered' from eating disorders I can't tell you how difficult it is to accept my body now at a 'healthy' weight.

Learn to appreciate your beauty because as clichéd as it sounds it won't last forever. However also realise that beauty is not everything the more you focus and develop other aspects of yourself the better you feel about yourself as a whole. It may sound a bit abstract to your issues but I really recommend taking on some volunteer work if you don't already. During recovery I did a lot of volunteer work and reached out to people who really needed me and I saw that I had value way beyond my physical appearance and other attributes that drew people closer. Nowadays I prefer a compliment like 'you're so brave' or 'you inspire me' or 'thank you for being so helpful' as they mean so much more than 'you are beautiful'.... That's just the cherry on top

The process of self-acceptance is a tough one... But work consciously on it everyday and you'll go far!

Good luck!
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poorform
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#27
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#27
Pics or gtfo.
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Maid Marian
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#28
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#28
Ironic username then.
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prettyGirl101
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#29
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#29
Thanks so much i'll continue to work on it and i hope you get to your end goal in your own journey of self-acceptance

Btw do you care about what others think of you anymore?
(Original post by lotusbloom)
Hello I think that's your problem - that you rely heavily on other people to affirm your beauty. If you rely on other people to do that you then also give them the power to control how you feel about yourself. Of course we all enjoy being complimented which is fine but try not to make that the source of your confidence.

All that really matters is how you see yourself. You can get praised by others all day and night but if you can't look into the mirror and say those same words to yourself sincerely then you will always feel empty.

It's tough I know. I've been working on this for a very long time myself and trying to dissociate my physical body from the person I truly am and I'm probably half way there. Also being 'recovered' from eating disorders I can't tell you how difficult it is to accept my body now at a 'healthy' weight.

Learn to appreciate your beauty because as clichéd as it sounds it won't last forever. However also realise that beauty is not everything the more you focus and develop other aspects of yourself the better you feel about yourself as a whole. It may sound a bit abstract to your issues but I really recommend taking on some volunteer work if you don't already. During recovery I did a lot of volunteer work and reached out to people who really needed me and I saw that I had value way beyond my physical appearance and other attributes that drew people closer. Nowadays I prefer a compliment like 'you're so brave' or 'you inspire me' or 'thank you for being so helpful' as they mean so much more than 'you are beautiful'.... That's just the cherry on top

The process of self-acceptance is a tough one... But work consciously on it everyday and you'll go far!

Good luck!
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Yawn11
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#30
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#30
Send a pic of yourself and I'll let you know the truth
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lotusbloom
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#31
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(Original post by prettyGirl101)
Thanks so much i'll continue to work on it and i hope you get to your end goal in your own journey of self-acceptance

Btw do you care about what others think of you anymore?
Thank you. Yes indeed I'm still scared of judgement and I think I always will be to an extent but it's no longer a preoccupation and it means a lot less to me compared to other areas I have going on in life now
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Zenarthra
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#32
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(Original post by prettyGirl101)
Thanks so much i'll continue to work on it and i hope you get to your end goal in your own journey of self-acceptance

Btw do you care about what others think of you anymore?
Send us a picture and i can give you an honest opinion if you want.
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JamesManc
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#33
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#33
I think maybe we have a worse opinion of ourselves than others do
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iheartplums
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#34
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All girls have insecurities. I have one friend that is absolutely stunning (I'm talkin 11/10) and she can be so incredibly insecure about her appearance sometimes it's hard to believe.
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prettyGirl101
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#35
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#35
(Original post by iheartplums)
All girls have insecurities. I have one friend that is absolutely stunning (I'm talkin 11/10) and she can be so incredibly insecure about her appearance sometimes it's hard to believe.
is she attention seeking?
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Smash Bandicoot
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#36
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ah the old adage 'stop relying on external validation!" the problem is when you think about it that it's only the need for moderated external validation which prevents you from delusions of grandeur and in some cases delusions about reality itself. For example, if no-one is to tell me that I am not a god, what is to stop me from ruling my reign of terror over all you mere mortals? I shall fire my lightning bolts from the sky and crush you with my fingertips for there is no objective reality, only my subjective dominion.

I am playing devil's advocate OP I am sure ur a beaut :0 :0 :0 :0 :0
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iheartplums
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(Original post by prettyGirl101)
is she attention seeking?
I don't think she is no. She just had a particularly bad experience (relationship-wise) which I think made her insecure about certain aspects of her appearance.
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Wattsy
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#38
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(Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
ah the old adage 'stop relying on external validation!" the problem is when you think about it that it's only the need for moderated external validation which prevents you from delusions of grandeur and in some cases delusions about reality itself. For example, if no-one is to tell me that I am not a god, what is to stop me from ruling my reign of terror over all you mere mortals? I shall fire my lightning bolts from the sky and crush you with my fingertips for there is no objective reality, only my subjective dominion.

I am playing devil's advocate OP I am sure ur a beaut :0 :0 :0 :0 :0
This argument is so stupid that I'm not even sure I want to tell you why.

OP just roll with that vulnerability, make it work for you. Don't go desperately seeking validation from other people. Let validation come to you and accept it but don't seek it out.
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Smash Bandicoot
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#39
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(Original post by Wattsy)
This argument is so stupid that I'm not even sure I want to tell you why.

OP just roll with that vulnerability, make it work for you. Don't go desperately seeking validation from other people. Let validation come to you and accept it but don't seek it out.
My life is internally validated i need not seek a second opinion from an external source. Now shoo, minion!







imb4 slippery slope fallacy
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Stevo F
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#40
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"Pretty girl 101" :rolleyes:
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