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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just started at uni of Edinburgh a few months ago and I have no friends. Everyone here is British but I am the only foreign guy here . I haven't met a single Turkish guy at my uni. I used to live in London for 3 years and the atmosphere there so was much more diverse. I had friends and we went out every once in a while although even back then I wasn't that social.
    But now I literally have NO one and I am getting really depressed. I spend days at my room watching family guy and Southpark. I do not even go to my lectures anymore I became very withdrawn. People don't ask me out, they are v. cold with me when I am talking to them and some even ignore me.

    Why does the society exclude people? I don't know what it wrong with me. I have black hair and brown eyes but I am white. And my English is quite good. I almost dont have an accent. I don't think people are racist towards me they just dont like me. I am quite ugly but I am not scary. My nose isn't too big and my ears aren't pointy. I am short at about 5' 7'' and skinny but I don't I am revoltingly ugly. I wear designer clothing and shave and cut my hair nicely to compensate for my ugliness a little.

    I think it is just that they don't enjoy hanging out and I respect that. It is their choice to go out with me or not. My question is how can I not be so boring? How can I make people like me? I am so quite when I am around people and I don't know what to say. I feel uncomfortable when a person I don't know joins but I talk more around people I know. I cannot be funny because I don't know how to. Sometimes I struggle to understand what some people say because Scottish accent is a bit unfamiliar to me and I can't even join the conversation in those instances.
    The way you described yourself, it sounds pretty hot
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    (Original post by euphorie)
    Hey there, I am a student in the UK and I am from the same country as you are. I understand very well how it is hard to make friends especially 3 months after the university has started and when everyone has already formed their groups. I know it is really tiring that after some time you just let it go, stop trying and it affects all aspects of your life...
    I'll butt in for whatever's sake. I'm from the same country as OP as well and came to uni straight from my country, i.e. I never lived in England or any other English-speaking country for that matter. My English is quite good, I do have an accent but it's not stereotypically Turkish and rarely hinders comprehension. However I was very antisocial at the start of high school, didn't have any friends till the end of first year and many people avoided me. Part of why I wanted to come to the UK was that I wanted to erase my past and start a new life, shaking away all the bad reputation I earned in my old school.

    I can totally relate to what OP has written about him feeling that he isn't funny, and not being able to join conversations. If you don't feel comfortable around certain people, then don't feel obligated to be around them. They're just not your type of people. For example, I do like going out every once in a while but I'm not much into drinking (this has nothing to do with religion, I'm not even Muslim) yet the majority of British students seem to bond over getting pissed together. I have accepted that I need to go out more to mix with locals. One thing I'm still struggling with is following conversations in a loud place, like a pub. Even in my native language I just don't like shouting and asking people to repeat themselves lots of times, so I stop talking to people if the place is too loud, which they interpret as me being a recluse.

    After two months I do have 4-5 friends that I feel close to (if you care, all are from different countries and only one is from the UK) but I don't think they're my best friends, yet. More time needs to pass for me to determine if we're staying close to each other. Like euphorie said, the best place to make friends are societies. You are certain to have common interests which can drive a flowing conversation. Also, don't feel intimidated to invite people to do something with you. If you feel like you have some common with that boy, invite him to have coffee or beer with you. The worst thing he could say is "oh I'm busy" if he's a decent person. Another advice could be sitting next to other people in lectures (especially those that don't sit with a group of friends) and trying to initiate small talk. You'll certain to eventually end up next to a person you click with, just keep trying!
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    I'm sorry you're having a difficult time. I live in London myself and, although I haven't been to Edinburgh, imagine to be quite a cultural contrast. I think you should return to your lectures, for a start, because an education is ultimately what you're there (and paying) for. Also, it will make you seem less of a recluse; maybe people think you like your own company so leave you alone. When you're in lectures, try chatting to whoever you sit next to, sit next to different people each time till you find some you get on with.

    I didn't have many friends at uni either, and I recognise that I did it to myself, so I do sympathise. Just think of ways you can meet others; join one of the uni societies! If you put yourself out there you will make friends.

    Good luck!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you for being so nice. I think everyone dislikes me and I can't find out why. For example, I met this Dutch guy at the library a couple of weeks ago and we had a really nice conversation about hippies and Amsterdam and 13th Floor Elevators etc... (hippie stuff). I added him on FB and he accpepted my friend request but when I saw him again next week he was so ignoring me for no reason. Literally, I didnt say a thing that could have offended him in that week. I didnt even see him for a week but he just ignored me for no good reason. It is like everyone and everything is ignoring me. Even on Tinder they ignore me. I think because I expect people to ignore me then they do. I saw this girl outside the lecture hall and she was looking at me like she was interested. When I went inside the lecture hall, she sat next to me and introduced herself but after the lecture she too just ignored me and left. Completely changed her attitude by the end of the lecture. Do you know why that happens?
    I like to go out and meet people but I am worried about saying something stupid and messing things up.
    They weren't necessarily ignoring you - the Dutch guy just may not have known how to open another conversation with you after having not seen you in person for a bit, and the girl in class may have hoped you would start the next conversation, as it sounds like she initiated the first. Don't always think people are deliberately ignoring you - even if they're not waiting for you to speak up there could be other reasons for them not wanting to; they may be in a rush, in a bad mood, feel shy etc.
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    Foreign students can often appear unsociable/ not wanting to integrate and also some mannerisms may come across as rude or something to others. Keep trying, and if not it isn't the end of the world, I'm sure you will live
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just started at uni of Edinburgh a few months ago and I have no friends. Everyone here is British but I am the only foreign guy here . I haven't met a single Turkish guy at my uni. I used to live in London for 3 years and the atmosphere there so was much more diverse. I had friends and we went out every once in a while although even back then I wasn't that social.
    But now I literally have NO one and I am getting really depressed. I spend days at my room watching family guy and Southpark. I do not even go to my lectures anymore I became very withdrawn. People don't ask me out, they are v. cold with me when I am talking to them and some even ignore me.

    Why does the society exclude people? I don't know what it wrong with me. I have black hair and brown eyes but I am white. And my English is quite good. I almost dont have an accent. I don't think people are racist towards me they just dont like me. I am quite ugly but I am not scary. My nose isn't too big and my ears aren't pointy. I am short at about 5' 7'' and skinny but I don't I am revoltingly ugly. I wear designer clothing and shave and cut my hair nicely to compensate for my ugliness a little.

    I think it is just that they don't enjoy hanging out and I respect that. It is their choice to go out with me or not. My question is how can I not be so boring? How can I make people like me? I am so quite when I am around people and I don't know what to say. I feel uncomfortable when a person I don't know joins but I talk more around people I know. I cannot be funny because I don't know how to. Sometimes I struggle to understand what some people say because Scottish accent is a bit unfamiliar to me and I can't even join the conversation in those instances.
    I'll rather be a lone than being friend with a english person,me and my Asian friends mostly like to hang out with each other and we laugh and play games and talk about our lives, then the Black people and Arabs at my uni are always very funny. I know some of them and they are always smiling and they are very friendly and fun to be around, but the English people are very blah. They only like to talk about what they have and they seem like they don't like anyone else.

    In general , most of English people are ******* boring,disfunctional ,nerds or chavs.The only thing they do is bragging about sex,doing drugs and alcohol , I feel so sorry for them.
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    (Original post by Thamys)
    I'll rather be a lone than being friend with a english person,me and my Asian friends mostly like to hang out with each other and we laugh and play games and talk about our lives, then the Black people and Arabs at my uni are always very funny. I know some of them and they are always smiling and they are very friendly and fun to be around, but the English people are very blah. They only like to talk about what they have and they seem like they don't like anyone else.

    In general , most of English people are ******* boring,disfunctional ,nerds or chavs.The only thing they do is bragging about sex,doing drugs and alcohol , I feel so sorry for them.
    So you are basically saying that black people or those with Arabic backgrounds cannot be English? What kind of a bigotry is that?
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    (Original post by euphorie)
    So you are basically saying that black people or those with Arabic backgrounds cannot be English? What kind of a bigotry is that?
    British=Nationality
    English=ethnicity

    When I mean English , I mean the white english natives of England..... The ones with the pale-pink, pasty skin ...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Thamys)
    British=Nationality
    English=ethnicity

    When I mean English , I mean the white english natives of England..... The ones with the pale-pink, pasty skin ...
    (Original post by Thamys)
    I'll rather be a lone than being friend with a english person,me and my Asian friends mostly like to hang out with each other and we laugh and play games and talk about our lives, then the Black people and Arabs at my uni are always very funny. I know some of them and they are always smiling and they are very friendly and fun to be around, but the English people are very blah. They only like to talk about what they have and they seem like they don't like anyone else.

    In general , most of English people are ******* boring,disfunctional ,nerds or chavs.The only thing they do is bragging about sex,doing drugs and alcohol , I feel so sorry for them.
    I think these come across as a bit racist and stereotypical. It is not right to assume all English students are like that. And of course, people from Arabic, Asian or Black backgrounds can be British or English or Scottish or Welch. You have a British passport then you are British. You can become a the prime minister, join the British army , vote in the election and do whatever a white British person can do. Simple as that.
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    I can't even be bothered to argue for that. I reported this as racist and offensive.
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    Hi, I understand that this is really upsetting, but don't let it interfere with your studies. University is expensive so it would be a shame if this had an impact. My advice would be to talk a lot with the people on your course and come across as someone who is approachable. I am sure you are friendly so just think positively about yourself. You appear to have low-self esteem so I would check it out either talk to a counsellor or doctor. Do you live in halls? Can you talk to people who you live with? Just approach people and start with saying hi. Also, there are plenty of societies you can join. I have searched for you because I am kind lol. Have a look at this: http://www.eusa.ed.ac.uk/getinvolved.../findasociety/

    There will be Turkish people at your university as they have created a society for Turkish people. Join there and make some friends and feel comfortable. Join other societies as well if you can so long as it doesn't have an impact on your studies. Don't worry, just think positively and good things will happen. Please don't let it get you down.
 
 
 
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