Missing EX like CRAZY! Watch

Anonymous #1
#21
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#21
(Original post by abbiemac)
Hey I broke up with a guy who sounds JUST like him, about a month ago. I still miss him sometimes but trust me it's definitely for the best. Do you want to miss out on doing things and getting new experiences, and living your life because he's controlling you?

You'll find someone else in the future, someone better for you, but for now just have fun with your life and try to forget about him
Most of the time he was okay, I think uni just got in the way and I was trying to get used to a new way of life. I don't want to contact him in case i ruins it.
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Anonymous #1
#22
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#22
(Original post by Sollom)
First Relax. Missing ex is really painful.. think if he's important then go get him , patch up and live happily. . Forget about parents they always ***** .. However if you think it's just a nostalgia which is haunting you then try to get involve into other things or chat to a friend. You'll feel better
Good luck..
Hope this helps
Stay happy!!

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I don't know if it is nostalgia, never thought of that possibility! Thank you
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Sollom
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#23
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#23
(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't know if it is nostalgia, never thought of that possibility! Thank you


You welcome!

Hope you're feeling better now

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AnharM
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#24
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#24
(Original post by Sulpha)
Well that isn't your ex's problem.

You cant just get bored of people, dispose of them and then want them back when things stop going your way.
This.

Why doesn't she get this through her head?
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jadys10
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#25
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#25
(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my ex boyfriend broke up last month. We were together for three years and he was such a huge part of my life. Unfortunately, I started uni and got very carried away with all of the partying and got involved with a few guys so I decided it was best if we ended it. Bare in mind that we were arguing quite a lot before this about me moving away, and he was not happy for me at all for getting onto my course.

It ended on a bad note and we haven't spoke since, I deleted his number etc. This week, I have really been missing him for some reason and I don't know if to contact him or to just move on with my life. My parents did not like how he was treating me while I was at uni and are dead against me seeing him ever again. I don't know what to do. :/
It's best to just move on and leave the past behind. You're at uni now and distance relationships don't usually work that well. Maybe just contact him to sort thro what happened ans explain why you broke it off so you've ended it on a better note.
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Anonymous #1
#26
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#26
Stop lecturing meee, I know it's bad!
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joker12345
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#27
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#27
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not looking for sympathy. We were arguing LOADS before uni and while I was there and to be honest I was getting bored of him, we often has awkward silences and little to say to each other. But, now I am missing him so idk.
In light of that - leave the poor guy alone. Don't contact him and mess with his head.
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joker12345
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#28
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#28
(Original post by Anonymous)
Well I would try again with someone at uni but it has been 8 weeks and I haven't met anyone decent. And, there are only three guys on my course.
So you thought the grass was greener and ended your relationship/cheated (likely hurting him a lot), realised that actually there aren't loads of guys miling around to date you and now want to go back to your ex cos you don't wanna be alone?
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Anonymous #1
#29
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#29
(Original post by joker12345)
So you thought the grass was greener and ended your relationship/cheated (likely hurting him a lot), realised that actually there aren't loads of guys miling around to date you and now want to go back to your ex cos you don't wanna be alone?
Noo, I just remember what we had for so long
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joker12345
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#30
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#30
(Original post by Anonymous)
Noo, I just remember what we had for so long
Figure out what you want. Are you willing to turn down any/all other guys for your ex? Will you make sacrifices for him, like missing a weekend at uni to travel and visit him? Are you willing to apologise for everything you did to him, and really mean it, and try to make amends? Are you going to accept paranoia from him, and be supportive and understanding, knowing that it was caused by your actions?
If your answer to those questions is a wholehearted yes, think about it for a day - if you're still sure about it then contact him WITH AN APOLOGY.
If you're not sure about that then leave him alone.
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joker12345
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#31
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#31
(Original post by Sulpha)
OP is selfish and entitled. You only need to read through this thread to see it.

She should leave her ex alone regardless of what she wants.
I have read it - you should read my above posts. People do make mistakes and do stupid things though, so if she's willing to do all the stuff I said, why not contact him? If he's missing her and she's willing to compromise and change for him, then it's a win-win/
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Anonymous #1
#32
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#32
To be fair, I had only just turned 18, and was at uni. I had never been out clubbing before this and just loved the lifestyle. I know this was wrong.
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1468917
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#33
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#33
(Original post by Sulpha)
I've heard the same cliché story at least 10 times before, it's always the same and occurs when a couple goes to University.

And the usual cliché justifications follow of "Oh but we were arguing loads before," or "Oh but he was doing this, that blah look at me I'm a victim","

You went to University, like thousands of students in relationships do every year, got a taste for the life style, got bored and left your partner thinking the grass was greener and now things have settled down around Christmas time you suddenly realise what you had and miss them.

I hope he's forgotten about you.
Completely agree

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joker12345
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#34
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#34
(Original post by Sulpha)
Those characteristics in a person don't change.

If someone has the ability to palm off their partner of 3 years because other lads were giving them attention at University, they'll do it again in the future when the grass is greener again. OP is only interested in her ex now that things have calmed down and she's not getting that attention. If she was still getting the attention she wouldn't be interested. You can't treat people like they're disposable - it's wrong.

I don't see why anyone would read OP's story and suggest she makes contact with him. I feel sorry for her ex and she should leave him alone.
Sounds like you barely read my post. I didn't just suggest she contact him, I suggested she first think about several sacrifices/compromises she should be willing to make. If it is the case that she's only interested because she hasn't found anyone at uni (I agree with you btw, and have said I think it's that) then she won't be able to commit to all those compromises. Simple, really.
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Anonymous #1
#35
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#35
When I was with him, we would NEVER go places, we would stay in all the time. I don't blame myself for living it a little!
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joker12345
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#36
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#36
(Original post by Anonymous)
To be fair, I had only just turned 18, and was at uni. I had never been out clubbing before this and just loved the lifestyle. I know this was wrong.
Hardly an excuse. Look, if this is your attitude (repeatedly defending your actions/making excuses) then leave him alone. As I said, only even consider contacting if you feel really bad for what you did and understand that there are no excuses.
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jenkinsear
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#37
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#37
(Original post by Anonymous)
He was controlling me and would give me the silent treatment if I did not do what he said (silly things like going shopping or to the cinema) and at uni he used to constantly call me, it all got too much.
Lots of blaming here on him, no reflection that a dysfunctional relationship involves blame on both sides. A poster above said they'd give you -6 for sympathy, I'm starting to think that's too generous.
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Anonymous #1
#38
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#38
(Original post by Sulpha)
So instead of talking to your ex about doing more, you just dumped him after 3 years and went and fooled around with a load of Uni lads.

You're not the victim at all. I'm even starting to believe that you're trolling.
LOL I wish I was trolling, I'm not!
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jenkinsear
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#39
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#39
(Original post by Sulpha)
Those characteristics in a person don't change.

If someone has the ability to palm off their partner of 3 years because other lads were giving them attention at University, they'll do it again in the future when the grass is greener again. OP is only interested in her ex now that things have calmed down and she's not getting that attention. If she was still getting the attention she wouldn't be interested. You can't treat people like they're disposable - it's wrong.

I don't see why anyone would read OP's story and suggest she makes contact with him. I feel sorry for her ex and she should leave him alone.
I've never seen your posts before Sulpha, but honestly in this thread they've been top notch, couldn't agree with you more.
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joker12345
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#40
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#40
(Original post by Sulpha)
What are you about ?

You're saying you didn't suggest she contact him but say she should first think about several things she'd be willing to make before what - contacting him I'm guessing ?

She shouldn't think about "sacrifices/compromises" because even if she was willing to take them, she should still leave her ex alone.
Last post to you because I'm not in the mood to enter into a pointless debate when we largely agree anyway.
I didn't say contact him, I first said to NOT contact him, for the reasons you mentioned. She said that she missed what they had for so long (rather than being lonely at uni), so I challenged that by asking her if she'd be willing to make several sacrifices/compromises. I then said if yes, she should think further about it (ie not a rash spontaneous decision.)
IMO, if she really was willing to make them then she really regrets what's happened and does value her ex and their relationship, and is willing to put him first. This is where we disagree, you think people can't ever make mistakes and regret them, whereas I feel they can.
As it happens, it doesn't seem like OP's willing to make those sacrifices - hence you and I agree - she should leave him alone as she's just lonely now that she doesn't have a new guy.
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