Mother wants me to pray 5 times a day and be a religious individual which I don't Watch

james22
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#21
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#21
(Original post by Anonymous)
My understanding of Allah was energy. The creator of the universe etc. For example Stephen Hawkings said there is a particle which has created the universe. This is what I believe to be Allah.
OK. I still advise doing what you want, and not letting others pressure you into following certain beliefs.
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Placeboo123
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#22
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I'd call childline if I were you. 08001111 There you go, even googled it for you.
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SnoochToTheBooch
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(Original post by Anonymous)
When looking at this through a balanced approach your perspective is also valid. Yes I do also agree the religion is based on fear which although I don't like I've come to terms with it. However changing ones belief system is rather difficult when they been brought up with it an did is ingrained in their minds.
Indeed it is hard but all it requires is to take a cold, hard look at what you're being asked to believe and see whether it really stands up to questioning. There's a reason why hardline religious groups dislike so-called 'Western' education - it spells bad news for them.
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Temporality
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(Original post by Anonymous)
X.
at the end of the day you have to think about what you want and what lifestyle you feel closest to you, what is more true to you.

You will only become sad if you live your life in accordance to what your mother wants. It's best to find your own way
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by HeavyTeddy)
If you think that going to pray and getting involved in your mosque is good for you, then surely you should be more inclined to do so. However, with all do respect your mother's intentions are wrong. Praying to show off is in act of minor shirk; that is doing acts that please God but with the intentions of pleasing other people. If you want to pray, pray for the right reasons.

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Can I add she also wants me to follow this lifestyle because her family use to be well educated e.g Doctors and when she married my father, my father relatives children have ended up to be doctors however I have not. To further complicate things she feels inferior to the women in our family as their children have managed to become doctors and their mothers did not come from such a good background as my mother. She is clinging onto the social status. What do you think, do you think this is wrong?
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SpeedyGonzalez
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Mate do what YOU want to do, not what your mum wants, not what Allah wants but what YOU want to do. Don't be forced into something you don't want to do, life is about enjoying yourself man relax. I'm a Christian btw. Plus there's always time for becoming more religious at like 40 or something but for now just LIVE


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Anonymous #1
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[QUOTE=Temporality;52004543]at the end of the day you have to think about what you want and what lifestyle you feel closest to you, what is more true to you.

You will only become sad if you live your life in accordance to what your mother wants. It's best to find your own way[/QUOTE

Surely I should be placing my mother's needs first before I place my own as she has raised me. Correct me if I am I am inexperienced with relationships.
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Temporality
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(Original post by Anonymous)
at the end of the day you have to think about what you want and what lifestyle you feel closest to you, what is more true to you.

You will only become sad if you live your life in accordance to what your mother wants. It's best to find your own way[/QUOTE

Surely I should be placing my mother's needs first before I place my own as she has raised me. Correct me if I am I am inexperienced with relationships.
she might have raised you but that doesn't mean you have to do everything she wants. what will she do if you don't behave the way she says? also how old are you?
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Anonymous #1
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[QUOTE=Temporality;52004613]
(Original post by Anonymous)

she might have raised you but that doesn't mean you have to do everything she wants. what will she do if you don't behave the way she says? also how old are you?


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SpeedyGonzalez
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Lool at all these overly religious freaks trying to tell you what to do with your own life


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Temporality
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(Original post by Anonymous)



24
24 is full and we'll old enough to make your own decisions about how you want to live... You can make your mother proud through other things that actually matter to you and you genuinely feel something about. like your career a charity cause a political cause... raising a family.... whatever you want from life. don't live for someone else
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Temporality)
she might have raised you but that doesn't mean you have to do everything she wants. what will she do if you don't behave the way she says? also how old are you?
She would complain and unreasonably keep an eye on me to ensure i am not doing the wrong thing. Furthermore she would pressure me into not going to hookah bars as she is very good with controlling people and she is a bit of a control freak by using my belief system of having to be like by people to control my behaviour.
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Temporality
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She would complain and unreasonably keep an eye on me to ensure i am not doing the wrong thing. Furthermore she would pressure me into not going to hookah bars as she is very good with controlling people and she is a bit of a control freak by using my belief system of having to be like by people to control my behaviour.
how would she stop you being liked by people?! she sounds like she is a bit of a toxic influence in your life at the moment. You need to tell her you need to make your own decisions. I know it is hard but try not to worry so much what your mother says or thinks. We are constantly looking for approval from our parents but they are scarcely perfect themselves. just do what you need to do. I'm taking it from the sounds of things you still live with her but maybe you need to get independent. set your own goals. exercise and eat well so you don't get depressed. be your own person. get confident and stop looking to others for approval. easier said than done but when you've made changes in your life to be more true to yourself you will feel great
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(Original post by Temporality)
how would she stop you being liked by people?! she sounds like she is a bit of a toxic influence in your life at the moment. You need to tell her you need to make your own decisions. I know it is hard but try not to worry so much what your mother says or thinks. We are constantly looking for approval from our parents but they are scarcely perfect themselves. just do what you need to do. I'm taking it from the sounds of things you still live with her but maybe you need to get independent. set your own goals. exercise and eat well so you don't get depressed. be your own person. get confident and stop looking to others for approval. easier said than done but when you've made changes in your life to be more true to yourself you will feel great
I stated I wanted to move out however she wants me to live with her due to not getting along with my father her husband. My brother also wants me to live in the family house because he has seen his friends do this however I've always wanted to move out even if I am living in a one bedroom flat in a ghetto. My brother also tries to stop me from moving out. I have made my own goals in becoming a criminal solicitor and have overcome depression and anxiety problems due to marital issues in the household. I don't look for people's approval however my mother is a perfectionist who has to be perfect including me in the eyes of the community. This is what is bothering me a lot. I'm not perfect and this has caused me a lot of trouble.
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Temporality
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I stated I wanted to move out however she wants me to live with her due to not getting along with my father her husband. My brother also wants me to live in the family house because he has seen his friends do this however I've always wanted to move out even if I am living in a one bedroom flat in a ghetto. My brother also tries to stop me from moving out. I have made my own goals in becoming a criminal solicitor and have overcome depression and anxiety problems due to marital issues in the household. I don't look for people's approval however my mother is a perfectionist who has to be perfect including me in the eyes of the community. This is what is bothering me a lot. I'm not perfect and this has caused me a lot of trouble.
No one's perfect but you can lead a fulfilling life focusing on what's important to YOU and that's as close to perfection as you're going to get, I guess
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skunkboy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My understanding of Allah was energy. The creator of the universe etc. For example Stephen Hawkings said there is a particle which has created the universe. This is what I believe to be Allah.

Allah is just a very tiny particle? All Muslims or physicists must gasp after hearing that.

By the way, Islam is a religion, not laws. That means you don't need to become a believer. No one can force you.

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VETwannabe
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have you tried to speak to your mum about how you feel? It seems like she's trying to live her life through you, which is pretty unfair. Also, to the person who said you can be more religious at 40, what if you die tomorrow? "living" now and being religious later won't do you much good.

Also, you make Islam sound so restrictive. If you think about it, what are you really missing out on? From watching my non-muslim friends, nightclubs lead to more drama than anything and drinking makes people hide from their problems rather than facing them. Restaurants are allowed and smoking hookah is a bad habit anyway. I might sound like a killjoy but this is what i've noticed by observation.

As for following Islam, everyone has weaknesses. We all like to think we're good muslims, but no one's perfect and everyone has flaws (especially me). The important thing is that you don't lose hope and you believe that no matter how hard life gets, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Honestly, if you believe the concept of Islam then that's pretty good going on it's own. Everything else you can work on throughout your life

I know it's hard but if you try to confront your mum and talk to her about how she's suffocating you and pushing you away from Islam, that would be a good starting point and she might realise what she's doing. If you think that confronting her directly is too difficult (i know this sounds cheesy) but you could write her a letter. Get all your feelings out on paper and just vent. I'm sure she loves you more than social status, but it's easy to get blinded but things in this life which really aren't important in the grand scheme of things, like social status. She probably has no idea how much she's hurting you. Anyway, put the letter somewhere for her to find and wait for her to come to you after she's read it. What happens after that is up to her. See where you go from there.

I read somewhere that often problems happen because of a lack of communication. If you break down that barrier, things should (by the will of Allah) get much easier. If not.. we'll cross that bridge when we get to it

Good luck bro and I hope my super long post has helped (even if it's by just a little)
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miser
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I'd think she was joking. No way am I going to do that. If she was insistent I'd tell her to back off. You have your own life to live.
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A5ko
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If you have doubt, then don't.
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