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Boyfriend has naked pictures of his ex! (Could really use a guy's opinion here) watch

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    Do you really think you are the only girl your bf finds sexually attractive?
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    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've been in a relationship for just over a year with a great guy.

    When I initially got to know him, I came to know that he is good friends with an ex from about 2-3 years ago. This wasn't a problem at first, as I am good friends with one ex too.

    But now I'm freaking out.
    I was on his laptop, with his full knowledge and trying to locate photos of our recent holiday. On the same page, with all his other material, was a photo folder of his ex (and now good friend) with little to no clothing on. I'm pretty sure there was a video in there too.

    I have no problem with people keeping photos of exes.
    I do have a big problem with photos of naked exes, particularly if I have to see or speak to them regularly.

    Their friendship also now worries me, as now I'm thinking he must still be sexually/romantically attached to her - why else would he still want to look at her naked? And how am I meant to be comfortable around someone who's naked on my boyfriend's laptop?

    Help please.
    This is not healthy or normal to keep naked pictures of his ex, especially if he still is in contact with her! My ex boyfriend had pictures of me without my knowledge and use to still try it on with me even though he had supposedly had moved on and met a new girl. You need to set some boundaries and know what is respectful and not.Hope you talk about this with him and tell him how it makes you feel.
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    I have mixed feelings about this.. If it was on a phone I would have flipped, as clearly the photos would have been recent and seen regularly. However as it was in a folder on his laptop it is highly likely that he simply forgot about the folder and probably hasn't given them a second glance. Either way, communication is key! Don't feel shy or afraid of seeming possessive or anything, just be clear on things and ask him to delete them!


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've been in a relationship for just over a year with a great guy.

    When I initially got to know him, I came to know that he is good friends with an ex from about 2-3 years ago. This wasn't a problem at first, as I am good friends with one ex too.

    But now I'm freaking out.
    I was on his laptop, with his full knowledge and trying to locate photos of our recent holiday. On the same page, with all his other material, was a photo folder of his ex (and now good friend) with little to no clothing on. I'm pretty sure there was a video in there too.

    I have no problem with people keeping photos of exes.
    I do have a big problem with photos of naked exes, particularly if I have to see or speak to them regularly.

    Their friendship also now worries me, as now I'm thinking he must still be sexually/romantically attached to her - why else would he still want to look at her naked? And how am I meant to be comfortable around someone who's naked on my boyfriend's laptop?

    Help please.
    As a guy I can say that's not right. In these cases, trust your instinct because it's probably right. Did he forget about them? Hell no, they are easy to find, you came across them and they were there out in the open.

    Does something strike you as odd between how he and his ex act? That's where the answer lies.
    • #4
    #4

    I was in a similar situation before and all I can say is trust your gut, if it tells you to run, run. Don't just stay with a boyfriend because you've invested a year into the relationship. Baggage sucks and he doesn't seem like he wants to get rid of it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was in a similar situation before and all I can say is trust your gut, if it tells you to run, run. Don't just stay with a boyfriend because you've invested a year into the relationship. Baggage sucks and he doesn't seem like he wants to get rid of it.
    Yep, trust your gut, it doesn't let emotions and crap get in the way so it's usually right.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've been in a relationship for just over a year with a great guy.

    When I initially got to know him, I came to know that he is good friends with an ex from about 2-3 years ago. This wasn't a problem at first, as I am good friends with one ex too.

    But now I'm freaking out.
    I was on his laptop, with his full knowledge and trying to locate photos of our recent holiday. On the same page, with all his other material, was a photo folder of his ex (and now good friend) with little to no clothing on. I'm pretty sure there was a video in there too.

    I have no problem with people keeping photos of exes.
    I do have a big problem with photos of naked exes, particularly if I have to see or speak to them regularly.

    Their friendship also now worries me, as now I'm thinking he must still be sexually/romantically attached to her - why else would he still want to look at her naked? And how am I meant to be comfortable around someone who's naked on my boyfriend's laptop?

    Help please.
    This is completely normal. Myself and most of the male companions I have met keep pictures of their ex and naked pictures in particular. It's just memories, nothing sexual.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by geoking)
    Yep, trust your gut, it doesn't let emotions and crap get in the way so it's usually right.
    Alternatively, turn a blind eye and pretend nothing happened. After all relationships totally don't revolve around emotion... oh wait, they do!
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    Couple months back I was cleaning my laptop and found some nudes from previous relationship that happened years back! I remember how my heart jumped when I double clicked on the file and it just showed up. lol I wasn't expecting that.

    Guys usually would never delete nudes no matter how bad the relationship was. Seriously.

    In your case, I'd say he just forgot about them thats why they're there.


    edit: by years back I mean from 2008/2009 !!! yes that old. It also means that they were copied from older laptop to external hard drive when I migrated to the new laptop ;/
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    Guys don't delete porn, they just hide it somewhere else.
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    Personally, he should not have naked pictures of his ex, What I would do is make it clear that you're not happy about it so it doesn't happen again. He could be doing all sorts with those pictures👀
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    (Original post by rubywoo123)

    He could be doing all sorts with those pictures������

    Indeed. Squishy squishy
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    (Original post by The Juan)
    This is completely normal. Myself and most of the male companions I have met keep pictures of their ex and naked pictures in particular. It's just memories, nothing sexual.
    If you both know the ex, it might be awkward, but otherwise it is pictures of someone he finds attractive to fap to. Just naughty thoughts. If it was say Pixie Lott or Cheryl, would you feel the same way? By the sounds of this thread and others, it seems that many guys keep/look at pictures of exes and female friends to complete occasionally.

    (Original post by kat_courtney)
    I have mixed feelings about this.. If it was on a phone I would have flipped, as clearly the photos would have been recent and seen regularly. However as it was in a folder on his laptop it is highly likely that he simply forgot about the folder and probably hasn't given them a second glance. Either way, communication is key! Don't feel shy or afraid of seeming possessive or anything, just be clear on things and ask him to delete them!


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    If it's someone you both know, then yes, best to chat about it. Maybe it's been forgotten this folder.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by pshah2)
    If it was say Pixie Lott or Cheryl, would you feel the same way? By the sounds of this thread and others, it seems that many guys keep/look at pictures of exes and female friends to complete occasionally.
    Pixie Lott or Cheryl don't hang out and chat with the boyfriend though. I'm surprised the ex girlfriend didn't ask the boy to delete those photos, maybe it gives her an ego boost or maybe she likes toying with his head (and pants).

    Deleting the photos doesn't do anything other than potentially save the ex a bit of embarrassment if they get leaked. And I suppose there isn't much you can do but trust the boyfriend wouldn't succumb to seduction, if it ever happened (not saying that the ex would, but it is a possibility).
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by SarcasticMel)
    Do you really think you are the only girl your bf finds sexually attractive?
    Oh please, don't belittle me. I am not that naïve.

    If he's still attracted to his EX, who is a good friend, then that is a problem. If he is still attracted to her, he should be with HER, not me.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by The Juan)
    This is completely normal. Myself and most of the male companions I have met keep pictures of their ex and naked pictures in particular. It's just memories, nothing sexual.
    Okay.. so you, as a guy, wouldn't mind if your girlfriend kept such pictures of an ex you also needed to see and speak to?
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    That is super weird; he is with you now. It stupid that people are saying it doesn't mean anything and those are just memories. I mean, even if he wasn't friends with her, it's weird.

    Having 'memories' (especially sexual ones) of exes when you are in a relationship isn't exactly going to make your other half feel great. Looking at those photos, he would obviously have feelings come back. You don't just remember something and feel neutral... memories have feelings attached too, and the past emotions rekindle when they're triggered. I do not think it is okay for him to have those photos.

    You should talk to him about this and if he thinks you're making a big fuss, then he wasn't worth the relationship anyway. Doesn't seem like you'd be able to go the long run with someone who can't get over/delete other's nude photos.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay.. so you, as a guy, wouldn't mind if your girlfriend kept such pictures of an ex you also needed to see and speak to?
    Nope I wouldn't mind, if I do it, it is only fair she can. You need more experience in relationship dynamics because this is perfectly normal
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    I would never keep a picture of any naked woman (or one wearing little) on a computer or laptop. You never know who could get to see it.
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    it's probably nothing. a bit bof fap bait tops.

    boys in my school tend to have naked photos of several girls on their phones as like trophies. it's pretty meaningless.
 
 
 
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