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    (Original post by pshah2)
    On the contrary you have been helpful! Thanks

    Okay, thing is I don't think she ever came across as desperate. In my view, she is so pretty too, and it would surprise me if she didn't have an entire city of friends talking to her. Maybe she was busy, but I suddenly felt sad when my wishes for her weekend went ignored. It happened once before when she was on holiday and replied later, but I feel a little confused.

    Should I just leave it and message her at christmas then?

    Also what do you think of the birthday conundrum?

    Really appreciate your expert advice!
    It's not your fault if you didn't know that it was her birthday! I guess make sure you say happy birthday this year, and maybe say it a day in advance so she sees that you're just saying happy birthday because facebook said you should (assuming you have facebook...). I doubt she's really that phased about it. But I don't know... :P
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Isn't that for a girl you literally just met, not one you met a year ago?

    What does it mean if a girl ignores one message, but replies to the next? What if she doesn't initiate, but responds enthusiastically?

    What if her birthday is on Jan 5th and you found from someone else, can you somehow get it into conversation?

    Also what about the girl being online on whatsapp often, but somehow not having replied to your message? Is it:

    1. She wants to send you a special message and take time on it
    2. She wants to have a lengthy flirty conversation with you when she has a lot of time rather than just reply with a short answer.
    3. She hasn't seen it
    4. She is playing a mind game by ignoring and waiting hours/days to respond to your text.
    Well phrased like that, yes it's something more associated with someone you just met.

    You're horribly over thinking this imo. I find the girls who don't message you back more often than not simply aren't that interested. It happens sometimes, dw.
    On the other hand some individuals just don't reply very quickly, it's annoying but it's just something you deal with or you don't bother talking to them.

    Try to keep social interaction simple, the more you think about it and look for a reason for everything the more lost and frustrated you'll get.
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    (Original post by TillyP)
    It's not your fault if you didn't know that it was her birthday! I guess make sure you say happy birthday this year, and maybe say it a day in advance so she sees that you're just saying happy birthday because facebook said you should (assuming you have facebook...). I doubt she's really that phased about it. But I don't know... :P
    Appreciate your advice! Normally I get the birthdays of all my friends, but unfortunately didn't get to know her long enough in person. I must have the worst luck, I met her (she came and spoke to me) a week before I was due to move!!

    Thing is I don't have FB. I found through a friend who was looking for another girl at my firm. Her page says her birthday, or it could be the day she had a party.

    Thing is should I message her Happy new yr on the day or wait a bit and ask how she is hoping she will tell me it is her birthday? Or do girls not do that?

    What do you think would be best? Or do you think just wish happy new yr and forget it? I would like to try and associate happy thoughts with me if possible. She's cute!

    Appreciate your advice expert!
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    (Original post by So Instinct)
    Well phrased like that, yes it's something more associated with someone you just met.

    You're horribly over thinking this imo. I find the girls who don't message you back more often than not simply aren't that interested. It happens sometimes, dw.
    On the other hand some individuals just don't reply very quickly, it's annoying but it's just something you deal with or you don't bother talking to them.
    I think the fact that I am attracted to her may be part of my annoyance.

    What do you think about birthday girl though? I mean I found out through someone else who randomly discovered it. I'm not using FB.

    Should I:
    1. Wish her Happy new yr as normal
    2. Wish her a little later and ask how she is, hoping she would tell me herself about her birthday
    3. Wish her happy new yr on the 5th and hope she brings it up

    Advice? I would like to associate happy thoughts with me when she sees a text.
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Maybe, but:
    1. Is it not impolite not to respond at all?
    2. If you use a guy to listen to you when you are bored/seek attention, and then not ask about him or just do it for the sake of it, isn't that wrong?
    3. If you are too busy to talk to people, how come you are on whatsapp often enough? Why do you ignore this guy either for a day and then respond or wait till he texts again?
    4. Why do you not initiate, but still respond enthusiastically?

    Pls just need advice!
    I can't speak for straight girls in terms of whether they're doing this as some kind of "strategy" to keep you interested in them, but I wouldn't think they're doing that. But personally, I'll sometimes notice that I have a message, read it and then go back to what I was doing with the intention of replying later, and then take days or even weeks to get round to it. Generally I'd expect discussion of problems to be a two-way thing, asking how the other is and giving each other advice. If someone genuinely sees you as a friend, they're not "using" you; they're trusting you with their problems. Sometimes I'll go on WeChat just to see what my friends have been talking about in our group chat without actually saying anything myself - you're very unlikely to be the only person a girl would talk to on a chat app. As for your last point, if she doesn't get a message from you, she may not want to bother you and will probably think that you don't want to talk unless you confirm that you do by initiating a discussion.
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    (Original post by Blazar)
    I can't speak for straight girls in terms of whether they're doing this as some kind of "strategy" to keep you interested in them, but I wouldn't think they're doing that. But personally, I'll sometimes notice that I have a message, read it and then go back to what I was doing with the intention of replying later, and then take days or even weeks to get round to it. Generally I'd expect discussion of problems to be a two-way thing, asking how the other is and giving each other advice. If someone genuinely sees you as a friend, they're not "using" you; they're trusting you with their problems. Sometimes I'll go on WeChat just to see what my friends have been talking about in our group chat without actually saying anything myself - you're very unlikely to be the only person a girl would talk to on a chat app. As for your last point, if she doesn't get a message from you, she may not want to bother you and will probably think that you don't want to talk unless you confirm that you do by initiating a discussion.
    Okay. Me personally I respond as soon as I can, whether that is minutes or hours, when I'm free I feel it polite to respond. I am nervous about girls I fancy (including this one), but will initiate when I can. A lot of female friends also initiate and they are awesome with texting, it's a two way street.

    What do you think about birthday girl though? I mean I found out through someone else who randomly discovered it. I'm not using FB.

    Should I:
    1. Wish her Happy new yr as normal
    2. Wish her a little later and ask how she is, hoping she would tell me herself about her birthday
    3. Wish her happy new yr on the 5th and hope she brings it up

    Advice? I would like to associate happy thoughts with me when she sees a text.

    I'm nervous about texting her too much. It's a catch 22, I want to text her and keep rapport, but not too much to be ignored. Was I just unlucky to meet an awesome girl at the wrong time? We might have ended up as good friends.
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    Would a girl ignore you on whatsapp because she fancies you a little too?

    Are you meant to stay online and watch her type to flirt with her?
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    I think the fact that I am attracted to her may be part of my annoyance.

    What do you think about birthday girl though? I mean I found out through someone else who randomly discovered it. I'm not using FB.

    Should I:
    1. Wish her Happy new yr as normal
    2. Wish her a little later and ask how she is, hoping she would tell me herself about her birthday
    3. Wish her happy new yr on the 5th and hope she brings it up

    Advice? I would like to associate happy thoughts with me when she sees a text.
    It really doesn't matter that much. It's less about what you do and more about how you do it and who you are.

    Personally I'd keep it normal and just wish her whenever I spoke to her on the day. "A little birdy told me it was your birthday, I ate him. But happy birthday anyway ".. Or some other lame joke will suffice.
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    I like the way you jazzed it up; All that colour and use of different font sizes was nice for a change.

    Regarding your dilemma, I don't know man, sorry.
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    (Original post by So Instinct)
    It really doesn't matter that much. It's less about what you do and more about how you do it and who you are.

    Personally I'd keep it normal and just wish her whenever I spoke to her on the day. "A little birdy told me it was your birthday, I ate him. But happy birthday anyway ".. Or some other lame joke will suffice.
    Haa I like that one. Thing is I want to wish her because I do care. That's why I was wishing new years in the first place.

    Thing is wouldn't she wonder how I know? And if she asks? How am I going to justify it? I mean I don't know her close friends... literally a guy from work pulled it off facebook and I'm not sure he is friends with her either. I think it was a case of looking at hot girls from work on facebook.

    I don't have FB you see.

    I mean, if she pressed me and said, who told you? The fact that her responses are a bit more erratic, I'm slightly worried about being bold with it. That's why i was wondering whether I could be told by her herself around the date.

    Should I wish her and risk it? I am such a novice bro.
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    You become obsessed with particular girls far too easily OP...
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Would a girl ignore you on whatsapp because she fancies you a little too?

    Are you meant to stay online and watch her type to flirt with her?
    Stop over analysing the situation she is probably busy texting other people that are more important. Don't jump to conclusions just because she approached you doesn't mean that she actually fancies you.
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    (Original post by Ki Yung Na)
    I like the way you jazzed it up; All that colour and use of different font sizes was nice for a change.

    Regarding your dilemma, I don't know man, sorry.
    Haa bro thank you for the responding for the jazz. That's all right, but literally any advice would be appreciated. I am a complete novice with regards to the women of venus.

    (Original post by yo radical one)
    You become obsessed with particular girls far too easily OP...
    I know I am probably overthinking. But atm I'm in a place in life where I am not meeting that many girls. That will change in a year or two, but for now I would like to keep the few I have contact with, if anything for future contact when I'm back on the scene.

    Do you have any advice regarding my birthday situation and new years?
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    (Original post by Black Cat)
    Stop over analysing the situation she is probably busy texting other people that are more important. Don't jump to conclusions just because she approached you doesn't mean that she actually fancies you.
    Agreed, but I'll admit I was in shock when this hot girl just walked up to me. It took me a while to register that we had met before.

    Thing is I'm just asking for advice on the birthday situation and also how often to text her. Your thoughts? Pls I am a complete novice and shy guy, that's why I'm asking. Requesting assistance from the dating/texting pros!

    Normally i know my friend's birthdays, but my bad luck was such that we met again just as I was leaving for another city. I managed to muster the courage to ask for her number a week later before I was leaving. She has responded to about 80% of my texts.

    I mean I don't know her close friends... literally a guy from work pulled her birthday off facebook and I'm not sure he is friends with her either. I think it was a case of him looking at hot girls from work on facebook.

    I don't have FB you see.

    I mean, if she pressed me and said, who told you? The fact that her responses are a bit more erratic, I'm slightly worried about being bold with wishing her. That's why i was wondering whether I could be told by her herself around the date.
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    (Original post by pshah2)

    I know I am probably overthinking. But atm I'm in a place in life where I am not meeting that many girls. That will change in a year or two, but for now I would like to keep the few I have contact with, if anything for future contact when I'm back on the scene.

    Do you have any advice regarding my birthday situation and new years?

    Yeah, I have general advice for you


    Stop sending random messages to girls telling them to "have a good weekend", it's not a conversation starter, what are they meant to say in response to that? :confused:

    (Original post by Black Cat)
    Stop over analysing the situation she is probably busy texting other people that are more important. Don't jump to conclusions just because she approached you doesn't mean that she actually fancies you.
    This.

    These boys are too emotional, they think that one message from a girl and she loves them, equally they think that if she doesn't respond, their world will end :facepalm2:
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    People are just **** at replying.
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Haa I like that one. Thing is I want to wish her because I do care. That's why I was wishing new years in the first place.

    Thing is wouldn't she wonder how I know? And if she asks? How am I going to justify it? I mean I don't know her close friends... literally a guy from work pulled it off facebook and I'm not sure he is friends with her either. I think it was a case of looking at hot girls from work on facebook.

    I don't have FB you see.

    I mean, if she pressed me and said, who told you? The fact that her responses are a bit more erratic, I'm slightly worried about being bold with it. That's why i was wondering whether I could be told by her herself around the date.

    Should I wish her and risk it? I am such a novice bro.
    "A little birdy told me" would imply that someone told you. If she asks who say it was a secret or something alike, again you're over thinking horribly. Sometimes you should throw caution to the wind and just go with the flow, stop being so hung up on her- it makes for smoother and more enjoyable interaction then talking to someone who's trying to think of the perfect thing to say in the perfect scenario.

    Again though, she may just be a slow responder, it's quite common but I find even those people reply fairly promptly to the people they really want to talk to.
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    I am generally rubbish with replying to texts, it's nothing personal.
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Okay. Me personally I respond as soon as I can, whether that is minutes or hours, when I'm free I feel it polite to respond. I am nervous about girls I fancy (including this one), but will initiate when I can. A lot of female friends also initiate and they are awesome with texting, it's a two way street.

    What do you think about birthday girl though? I mean I found out through someone else who randomly discovered it. I'm not using FB.

    Should I:
    1. Wish her Happy new yr as normal
    2. Wish her a little later and ask how she is, hoping she would tell me herself about her birthday
    3. Wish her happy new yr on the 5th and hope she brings it up

    Advice? I would like to associate happy thoughts with me when she sees a text.

    I'm nervous about texting her too much. It's a catch 22, I want to text her and keep rapport, but not too much to be ignored. Was I just unlucky to meet an awesome girl at the wrong time? We might have ended up as good friends.
    I think you should wish her a happy New Year as normal and happy birthday on her birthday. If anything, she'll be happy that you thought of her enough to send her those messages, especially on her birthday. She won't be shocked that you found out about her birthday - if anything, she'll assume that someone else told you and I'm sure she'll be very grateful for the message.
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    (Original post by So Instinct)
    "A little birdy told me" would imply that someone told you. If she asks who say it was a secret or something alike, again you're over thinking horribly. Sometimes you should throw caution to the wind and just go with the flow, makes for smoother and more enjoyable interaction then talking to someone who's trying to think of the perfect thing to say in the perfect scenario.

    Again though, she may just be a slow responder, it's quite common but I find even those people reply fairly promptly to the people they really want to talk to.
    I get that it is fun, but how was I meant to know... thing is imagine if you met a girl twice in real life. Then you get her number. You stay in touch, then 18 months later, you wish her happy birthday saying someone told you it was her birthday. Wouldn't she pursue how you knew?

    I just don't want to kill it/ have her delete my number bro!

    What do you think? Just do it? Any way to phrase it?

    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    I am generally rubbish with replying to texts, it's nothing personal.
    Okay, what do you think about the birthday thing? As in someone else who has FB told me her birthday must be on this date (he was looking at her hot friend at work). He isn't friends with her though.

    Should I act on this information and wish her? Would the girl think it was weird/stalkerish that I somehow know her birthday?
 
 
 
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