Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

'I want it to be like a movie' Watch

    • #1
    #1

    You may be right about something here OP. I'm a girl (single) but I do think my views on wanting certain things in a relationship (particularly romantic gestures) have been skewed by watching romcoms. Not sure whether that's a bad thing or not as I have seen guys doing these things with my friends so I'm hoping I'll be blessed with someone romantic too! But I'm not the kind of person who would actively *ask* someone to do these gestures for me or be 'just like the movies' because 1) it's lame to ask someone to be something they're not and try and live out a fantasy and 2) I don't like asking people for things like that, if he did them I would be over the moon, if he didn't and wasn't very romantic I would be disappointed but I wouldn't ask him for them. It's like asking someone for a surprise party or to give you a present. There's no point if you have to ask for it.
    Offline

    5
    There are girls that actually expect their lives to turn out like a film? The words 'deluded' and 'ignorant' spring to mind.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ahava)
    Are you serious???

    If I wanted money, I'd just go and make my own, which is why I've been working my ass off in education for the past 16 years. I don't need a man to give me money. Marriage does not always offer instability. Marriage isn't always a secure thing. And status? What exactly do you mean by that? Do you think every female cares about reputation and class? What exact year are you in?
    Yes I am. What is everyone's obsession with how old I am? That's the great thing about online forums age doesn't matter. I'm either older or younger than you what answer do you want? There are many obvious answers to your questions. Maybe you don't want them which is fine but many do and you can't deny that they exist:

    1) If you can marry a rich man knowing he would spend a lot on you and you wouldn't have to work that's a pro. You might not need it but whoever said you need marriage?

    2) Marriage isn't always stable no. But if you could marry a man with a stable job who lives in a nice area with a nice family etcetc then this is also a pro.

    3) Yes women do care about reputation and class. Men do as well, it's a human thing. But men don't marry for status that's the difference.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by xylas)
    Yes I am. What is everyone's obsession with how old I am? That's the great thing about online forums age doesn't matter. I'm either older or younger than you what answer do you want? There are many obvious answers to your questions. Maybe you don't want them which is fine but many do and you can't deny that they exist:

    1) If you can marry a rich man knowing he would spend a lot on you and you wouldn't have to work that's a pro. You might not need it but whoever said you need marriage?

    2) Marriage isn't always stable no. But if you could marry a man with a stable job who lives in a nice area with a nice family etcetc then this is also a pro.

    3) Yes women do care about reputation and class. Men do as well, it's a human thing. But men don't marry for status that's the difference.
    Everyone is desperate to know how old you are because you are holding some very, very archaic views. I can deny they exist. I have never come across a woman who wants to marry for money, security, and to boost their class stance. Jesus Christ, this is not Downton Abbey. Women I know who want to marry want to do it for love. Being in a life long marriage without the existence of love is very grim and depressing. Why would anyone put themselves through that?

    1) But I want to work? As many other women. Why would most of us be paying £24,000 for a degree if we won't use it? I've always wanted a career, along with many other women, and can't imagine what life would be without one. It wouldn't be fulfilling. It's nice to be treated by your partner, but I spend just as much money as mine as he does with me.

    2) Marrying someone who has a stable job, a nice family, and house is a pro yes. But that should be just an 'add on'. It's not the reason WHY women get married.

    3) I, yet again with pretty much every person I know, do not care about reputation or class. I don't care about being popular. I don't care about being well liked. I'm working class, always will be, and proud. I would never be any other class even if I had the choice. Only the high class and rich marry people who are in the same class.

    I like who I am. And am comfortable with the person I am. I, with the majority of society, will marry for love.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ahava)
    Everyone is desperate to know how old you are because you are holding some very, very archaic views. I can deny they exist. I have never come across a woman who wants to marry for money, security, and to boost their class stance. Jesus Christ, this is not Downton Abbey. Women I know who want to marry want to do it for love. Being in a life long marriage without the existence of love is very grim and depressing. Why would anyone put themselves through that?

    1) But I want to work? As many other women. Why would most of us be paying £24,000 for a degree if we won't use it? I've always wanted a career, along with many other women, and can't imagine what life would be without one. It wouldn't be fulfilling. It's nice to be treated by your partner, but I spend just as much money as mine as he does with me.

    2) Marrying someone who has a stable job, a nice family, and house is a pro yes. But that should be just an 'add on'. It's not the reason WHY women get married.

    3) I, yet again with pretty much every person I know, do not care about reputation or class. I don't care about being popular. I don't care about being well liked. I'm working class, always will be, and proud. I would never be any other class even if I had the choice. Only the high class and rich marry people who are in the same class.

    I like who I am. And am comfortable with the person I am. I, with the majority of society, will marry for love.
    Yes I should have said: women want to be loved by their partner but they don't marry to feel love. They love the life not the person.

    Fine I'll respond to your points:

    1) Not this argument again... A degree is an achievement of education of course it will be used. Education =/= job or money. Anyway I expected this sort of missing-the-point response so that's why I said it's a pro to marry a rich man. If you want to marry your complete equal that's up to you but you would rather rich over poor and don't tell me otherwise.

    2) Good we agree it's a pro.

    3) "I don't care about being well liked" Well of course you shouldn't get married then. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt until then but now I don't think you are being honest with yourself. Also your allegiance to your class is strange but irrelevant to this issue.

    Good for you but that doesn't affect other women's choices.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by xylas)
    Yes I should have said: women want to be loved by their partner but they don't marry to feel love. They love the life not the person.

    Fine I'll respond to your points:

    1) Not this argument again... A degree is an achievement of education of course it will be used. Education =/= job or money. Anyway I expected this sort of missing-the-point response so that's why I said it's a pro to marry a rich man. If you want to marry your complete equal that's up to you but you would rather rich over poor and don't tell me otherwise.

    2) Good we agree it's a pro.

    3) "I don't care about being well liked" Well of course you shouldn't get married then. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt until then but now I don't think you are being honest with yourself. Also your allegiance to your class is strange but irrelevant to this issue.

    Good for you but that doesn't affect other women's choices.
    So you are saying women cannot give love? We are totally incapable of that emotion?

    1) I honestly cannot tell you if I would rather marry a rich or poor man, because money is not important to me. In the future, I will be making a good amount of money myself. As long as it's enough for me and my boyfriend to live a comfortable life on, we'll be more than happy. There's more to our lives that money. He could be dirt poor or filthy rich, I don't care.

    2) It is a pro yes. But if my boyfriend doesn't live in the nicest of flats. I don't care, I'd still marry him. Living somewhere nice is a pro for everyone, but not the reason why you would marry. You marry because you love the person they are, not what they own.

    3) Why shouldn't I get married? I want to get married because I love my boyfriend. There is literally nothing more to it than that. When some people love each other, they marry. And why would it be strange if someone is proud to be working class? What is wrong with being working class?
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ahava)
    So you are saying women cannot give love? We are totally incapable of that emotion?

    1) I honestly cannot tell you if I would rather marry a rich or poor man, because money is not important to me. In the future, I will be making a good amount of money myself. As long as it's enough for me and my boyfriend to live a comfortable life on, we'll be more than happy. There's more to our lives that money. He could be dirt poor or filthy rich, I don't care.

    2) It is a pro yes. But if my boyfriend doesn't live in the nicest of flats. I don't care, I'd still marry him. Living somewhere nice is a pro for everyone, but not the reason why you would marry. You marry because you love the person they are, not what they own.

    3) Why shouldn't I get married? I want to get married because I love my boyfriend. There is literally nothing more to it than that. When some people love each other, they marry. And why would it be strange if someone is proud to be working class? What is wrong with being working class?
    Ok fair enough I take back what I said about you not being honest with yourself. No I'm not saying women are incapable of love just that it isn't as important to them. Although you seem to be an exception to which I give credit.

    1) That's a refreshing view actually, can you explain what more there is to your lives than money (bearing in mind that money allows you to enjoy your life)?

    2) At least he has a flat though. You can't deny that the thought about how you are going to live with him and where is extremely important.

    3) It was just in response to what you said. Now I think I understand what you meant. You would like a world with just you 2 which is nice.

    It sounds strange to a person like me who doesn't think (or particularly know) what class he is. Of course there's nothing wrong with being working class but to be proud of it doesn't make sense to me. Are you saying you would always choose to be working class and feel like you're doing a good thing by choosing that?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Chucklevisionary)
    From personal experience I have found girl's asking to do things 'just like in the movies' to such an extent that if a relationship doesn't have the pacing of a summer blockbuster they are left feeling disappointed and actually break up with their partners (this actually happens). Lately girls seem to have had their opinions on romance and particularly 'young love' skewed by films. So drastic is their belief that films portray a healthy natural relationship that I believe they are as affected as many men (and women but particularly men) are negatively affected by pornography. I was wondering if any of you have witnessed anything similar to this or I've just been with a crazy film-fanatical girl (this is based on personal experience) :P
    Well have you seen the movie 'Hitch'? I don't think girls irl would like a creepy overweight stalker following them around.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by xylas)
    Ok fair enough I take back what I said about you not being honest with yourself. No I'm not saying women are incapable of love just that it isn't as important to them. Although you seem to be an exception to which I give credit.

    1) That's a refreshing view actually, can you explain what more there is to your lives than money (bearing in mind that money allows you to enjoy your life)?

    2) At least he has a flat though. You can't deny that the thought about how you are going to live with him and where is extremely important.

    3) It was just in response to what you said. Now I think I understand what you meant. You would like a world with just you 2 which is nice.

    It sounds strange to a person like me who doesn't think (or particularly know) what class he is. Of course there's nothing wrong with being working class but to be proud of it doesn't make sense to me. Are you saying you would always choose to be working class and feel like you're doing a good thing by choosing that?
    I really have no idea about the women you chose to associate with but I have never come across a women with the ideologies that you claim all women to have.

    1) You clearly need money to live. Buy food, pay rent, bills etc. But I'm saying you don't have to be rich, or even comfortable for money. I've been pretty poor my entire life but I wouldn't change it whatsoever. I have experienced love in every kind of way. I have experienced loving parents and siblings. I have experienced love with dogs and cats I have had. I have experienced romantic love. You don't need money to talk, to have discussions, to have debates. You don't have to have money to write and tell stories. To have an imagination. To be creative. To create art. You don't need money to be intimate with another human being. Nowadays, you don't need a lot of money to visit a different country, or even just catch a train to visit the english countryside. The best things in life are free, not having possessions.

    I am proud to be working class. When great opportunities have come along, I am more likely to appreciate them and take them less for granted than a rich person who has gone through life having everything they could possible want handed to them on a plate. I have worked hard to get where I am today. I have about another ten years of hard work to be where I want to be. And I am proud I was brought up in a working class family who instilled the fact that that working hard is important. There is nothing like the feeling of achievement once you have worked hard.

    My boyfriend doesn't have the same attitude when it comes to work. We couldn't have more opposite type of careers. But money and careers are not what make our relationship. A lot of things make our relationship. The foremost thing that made me attracted to him in the first place was our common views on spirituality and politics. Money has never been a big thing to us, neither has class or status. As long as we love each other, no one elses opinion matters.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ahava)
    I really have no idea about the women you chose to associate with but I have never come across a women with the ideologies that you claim all women to have.

    1) You clearly need money to live. Buy food, pay rent, bills etc. But I'm saying you don't have to be rich, or even comfortable for money. I've been pretty poor my entire life but I wouldn't change it whatsoever. I have experienced love in every kind of way. I have experienced loving parents and siblings. I have experienced love with dogs and cats I have had. I have experienced romantic love. You don't need money to talk, to have discussions, to have debates. You don't have to have money to write and tell stories. To have an imagination. To be creative. To create art. You don't need money to be intimate with another human being. Nowadays, you don't need a lot of money to visit a different country, or even just catch a train to visit the english countryside. The best things in life are free, not having possessions.

    I am proud to be working class. When great opportunities have come along, I am more likely to appreciate them and take them less for granted than a rich person who has gone through life having everything they could possible want handed to them on a plate. I have worked hard to get where I am today. I have about another ten years of hard work to be where I want to be. And I am proud I was brought up in a working class family who instilled the fact that that working hard is important. There is nothing like the feeling of achievement once you have worked hard.

    My boyfriend doesn't have the same attitude when it comes to work. We couldn't have more opposite type of careers. But money and careers are not what make our relationship. A lot of things make our relationship. The foremost thing that made me attracted to him in the first place was our common views on spirituality and politics. Money has never been a big thing to us, neither has class or status. As long as we love each other, no one elses opinion matters.
    Fair enough we will just have to leave that as it is. Also no need for the word 'chose' as that is irrelevant and you know it.

    1) Of course you wouldn't change your past. That is a meaningless statement. I like your amaterialistic attitude, I wish I would meet more people like you in that regard. I disagree with what you said about travelling however, as I feel this defeats your argument.

    2) Fair enough. Obviously you can't say if you were rich whether or not you would still have the same attitude as this would be a sweeping generalisation.

    3) I can imagine him having these debates with you! You're lucky you found someone like that and it is great that you appreciate these things in life.

    So I see this coming to an end. I will admit that I have changed my mind slightly from before but still I am convinced that what you are describing is the exception. Nevertheless, thanks for restoring my faith in humanity a little
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by xylas)
    Fair enough we will just have to leave that as it is. Also no need for the word 'chose' as that is irrelevant and you know it.

    1) Of course you wouldn't change your past. That is a meaningless statement. I like your amaterialistic attitude, I wish I would meet more people like you in that regard. I disagree with what you said about travelling however, as I feel this defeats your argument.

    2) Fair enough. Obviously you can't say if you were rich whether or not you would still have the same attitude as this would be a sweeping generalisation.

    3) I can imagine him having these debates with you! You're lucky you found someone like that and it is great that you appreciate these things in life.

    So I see this coming to an end. I will admit that I have changed my mind slightly from before but still I am convinced that what you are describing is the exception. Nevertheless, thanks for restoring my faith in humanity a little
    Thank you, I appreciate your comments.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 10, 2015
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brexit voters: Do you stand by your vote?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.