What if it involves you getting involved in a drawn out and unpleasant confrontation with other victims of sexual abuse? They've called you all sorts of things for turning up to a meeting. What do you think is going to happen if you start a fight with them?(Original post by Anonymous)
If it resulted in them stopping this kind of behaviour then I'd say it's a damn good thing indeed.
I'm not saying they are right. I'm not minimising what they have done. What I am saying is - these are angry people who have also suffered on some level. Do you really want to get into a war with them? What do you actually want (in practical terms)? Are there non-confrontational ways of achieving that?
Well apparently I'm a potential rapist, so that's good... Watch
- 12-01-2015 02:24
- Thread Starter
- 27-01-2015 00:21
Time for an update on this.
I decided to go back to the group, but this time with my phone recording everything that was said. Unsurprisingly I received the exact same kind of abuse as I did first time, arguably even more so.
Then I went to see my Student Union with the recording, sent them a copy of the audio and played it during our meeting and the general response from the Union was that their behaviour was completely and utterly unacceptable and that it is something that they would raise with the University itself.
They did that a couple of days ago and while no official decision has been made yet the way that it was going it appeared that the final decision would be to cut all ties with the group, remove any support that they have from the University including revoking their right to meet on the University campus.
Good riddance to bad rubbish I say.
- 27-01-2015 00:32
That's disgusting and I would have reacted badly to that.
Not all men are potential rapists.
- 04-02-2015 12:47
This post has been moved into the 'this is abuse forum'.
I am really sorry to hear about the abuse you experienced. Child sexual abuse is a hugely traumatic thing to experience and the panic attacks you describe are unfortunately quite a common thing to go through, and a symptom of post traumatic stress.
It is really good that you decided to get help and I am so sorry about the reaction you got from the group. It was unacceptable. You are right in that most sexual abuse victims are female and that a man coming into the space where they feel safe could be distressing but they should not have judged you like that and the counsellor should not have allowed that to happen. You deserve support as much as anyone else, regardless of gender.
Luckily there are other places you can get the support you need and deserve. There is an organisation that specifically helps people abused in childhood - men and women (and the chief exec is a man) - they have a website, helpline and email to get support.
0808 801 0331
lines are open 10am till 9pm Monday to Thursday, 10am till 6pm on Friday
I really encourage you to contact them, despite the awful reaction you have had, not everyone will react like that.