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How to cope with giving up my Uni Dreams and Career watch

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've been looking at my chosen universities - only two/three universities of my choice may accept late applications but it unlikely since my degree choices are popular (Business Management, Popular Music)

    Do i announce to to tell my tutor tomorrow that i'm quitting with immediate effect? So that i can save her breath from not having a heart attack seeing me everytime?
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello

    It is with sad regret that i will be missing the ucas deadline :cry2:. Because i suffer from Depression and that everyone in my college sees me as a weirdo, the tutor made a good point not to write my references earlier because i failed my accounting exam, being behind coursework and having the poorest attendance in college.

    It is an access course, i dont blame them, i agreed with her and she then indirectly try to indicate that my behaviour is Bipolar/Personality Disorder (she didnt say it direct obviously but the way she described me) hence making my reference hard to write, she says she will write tonight but i know that is a lie. Whilst i have finished my personal statement and my careers advisor giving me the best help i have ever had with the personal statement, i also realise that my tutor is ****ing useless but thats just my own thinking

    Anyway, now that there's a 100% chance that i won't go uni as i predict i will get out of college anyway, i need to cope on not being jealous of others who are going uni or already in uni. This was my third attempt at college and i have ruined yet again . This September i'm likely to do a btec with 16 year old kids or to do a dead end apprenticeship. How can i now adjust to this sad life and ending my potential career.
    Here's a thought you crack on, get a grip on your academics, attendance and what your tutors think is a poor attitude but the sound of it. Then instead of abandoning you dreams etc. you prove the lot of them wrong, take a gap year and apply next year and don't leave it until the night before the deadline next time get it organised in september. If you've had an entire gap year to sort it there's no excuse to run late.
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    Welcome Squad
    People with a dreams at least try to achieve them.
    Tbh I don't buy all these depression stuff, I can understand it can be hard and its proved medical condition but when you have a 'dream' you do something about it.

    I can understand teacher, poor person, doesn't know what to write, failed exam, poor attendance... What you expect her to write? What would you write about yourself? I had a depression so I failed everything? No one sees it as a good thing, there are million of things to be depressed about. You could get help to get better on time.

    No one likes excuses, and depression is a big excuse. Current economic environment does not take weak people in. If you didn't have power to fight depression then how one can be sure you can fight your place at uni, at workplace.

    I know I'm rude, but I'm honest! I don't dress up things
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was thinking of doing another access course which would be teaching but this has been my 2nd attempt doing an access course (first was music technology, my 3rd attempt in college and doing access courses are generally difficult (i have failed most work for the first time in my history of education)

    The plan was always to move out to uni. I don't get along with my family and my mental health has pissed them off for 10 years. If i went uni, my anxiety and depression would be cured as i would be around people more.
    Cool. I'd go for it. Don't let this slip up get you down. Take some time out and see someone about your depression. It'll be a really proactive thing to do.

    That sounds very unfair of your family. I don't blame you for wanting to get away and go to uni. Do you have the grades to do a foundation year at uni? Some unis you can live in and do the foundation year, but I don't know much about it, you could look into it as another option to an access course perhaps?
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    Um, If I am to put my two cents in here, perhaps I might suggest ADD/ADHD? I am in the process of consulting my doctor about this through referral, and it seems very likely this could be the case..
    Do not by any means take this as a negative thing or a judgement.. It may be something to look into.
    I have struggled with examination and general life for a long time... Losing things, forgetfulness, missed appointments, inability to focus in class etc and since my referral and after some research everything seems to be coming together with this realisation..
    There are peopel who can help and Access and Foundation courses you can do. Just consult your doctor and explore your options and your symptoms.

    (Just to clarify, I do not believe ADD/ADHD to necessarily be a disorder, but very possibly a different type of learning style. Alot of ADHD diagnosed adults are functional and highly creative/intelligent people, it is all about coping skills. If this turns out not to be the case for you, there are ways to cope and there are people who will be willing to help you. DO NOT give up.)

    Alternatively, consider what you actually want to do or be in life. University seems like a great option but there are many amazing experiences to be had in life that do not require formal education. Especially things like starting a business or volunteer/charity work!

    Best of Luck and keep your spirits up!
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    (Original post by lNurl)
    People with a dreams at least try to achieve them.
    Tbh I don't buy all these depression stuff, I can understand it can be hard and its proved medical condition but when you have a 'dream' you do something about it.

    I can understand teacher, poor person, doesn't know what to write, failed exam, poor attendance... What you expect her to write? What would you write about yourself? I had a depression so I failed everything? No one sees it as a good thing, there are million of things to be depressed about. You could get help to get better on time.

    No one likes excuses, and depression is a big excuse. Current economic environment does not take weak people in. If you didn't have power to fight depression then how one can be sure you can fight your place at uni, at workplace.

    I know I'm rude, but I'm honest! I don't dress up things
    Your comment has only just made me want to tell my tutor tomorrow of 'calling it a day'. You don't understand that depression is demonic spirit which only strong obessive prayers (yes and psychological help) can solve the problem. Look i won't be a f***** in this. If current economic environment don't take weak people, thats fine with me, i can retire right now at 19 and live alone for live. I tried saying this to my parents of running away but they told me to **** off if i was planning this.
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    Hi!

    I can imagine you're going through a hard time right now, and you're probably very upset and I don't blame you! This is a hard situation, and its okay to be super upset/angry by it!

    I say, apply late and see see what happens."Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will"

    If you don't get in, thats fine. You'll probably be upset but that is not the end of your dreams - you can try again!

    The fact that you keep trying through your mental illness and seemingly difficult situation shows more strength than most people, especially haters like some posters here!
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    (Original post by Lauren10D)
    Um, If I am to put my two cents in here, perhaps I might suggest ADD/ADHD? I am in the process of consulting my doctor about this through referral, and it seems very likely this could be the case..
    Do not by any means take this as a negative thing or a judgement.. It may be something to look into.
    I have struggled with examination and general life for a long time... Losing things, forgetfulness, missed appointments, inability to focus in class etc and since my referral and after some research everything seems to be coming together with this realisation..
    There are peopel who can help and Access and Foundation courses you can do. Just consult your doctor and explore your options and your symptoms.

    (Just to clarify, I do not believe ADD/ADHD to necessarily be a disorder, but very possibly a different type of learning style. Alot of ADHD diagnosed adults are functional and highly creative/intelligent people, it is all about coping skills. If this turns out not to be the case for you, there are ways to cope and there are people who will be willing to help you. DO NOT give up.)

    Alternatively, consider what you actually want to do or be in life. University seems like a great option but there are many amazing experiences to be had in life that do not require formal education. Especially things like starting a business or volunteer/charity work!

    Best of Luck and keep your spirits up!
    How can i have ADHD when im an introvert. This is an anxiety disorder that i have had for 10 years.

    Look i dont know, i might quit tomorrow since the tutor looks clearly pissed off and is in threat of getting fired or something because of me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If i went uni, my anxiety and depression would be cured as i would be around people more.
    Please, please don't fall into that trap. If anything uni creates mental health problems, not fixes them...
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    (Original post by lNurl)
    People with a dreams at least try to achieve them.
    Tbh I don't buy all these depression stuff, I can understand it can be hard and its proved medical condition but when you have a 'dream' you do something about it.

    I can understand teacher, poor person, doesn't know what to write, failed exam, poor attendance... What you expect her to write? What would you write about yourself? I had a depression so I failed everything? No one sees it as a good thing, there are million of things to be depressed about. You could get help to get better on time.

    No one likes excuses, and depression is a big excuse. Current economic environment does not take weak people in. If you didn't have power to fight depression then how one can be sure you can fight your place at uni, at workplace.

    I know I'm rude, but I'm honest! I don't dress up things
    I'm really not here to start an argument or anything so please don't take this wrong! Feel free to ignore. I think its very unfair you have just passed judgement on this person in this way with a clear little understanding in depression and mental illness. I really feel you should think about what made you feel the need to tell someone their 'depression' is an excuse, and what sort of person that makes you. Would you say that to someone with a physical illness that you couldn't see?

    Speaking from someone who works in a very very stressful childrens mental health hospital.
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    (Original post by bunnybubbles)
    Hi!

    I can imagine you're going through a hard time right now, and you're probably very upset and I don't blame you! This is a hard situation, and its okay to be super upset/angry by it!

    I say, apply late and see see what happens."Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will"

    If you don't get in, thats fine. You'll probably be upset but that is not the end of your dreams - you can try again!

    The fact that you keep trying through your mental illness and seemingly difficult situation shows more strength than most people, especially haters like some posters here!
    I'm not sure, This was my third attempt at college and i have ruined it. I'm not too confident doing a fourth attempt at college and then being 20 studying a horrific btec course with 16 year olds.

    I just wish i went to uni.
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    (Original post by xylas)
    Please, please don't fall into that trap. If anything uni creates mental health problems, not fixes them...
    What makes you think

    I remember when i was 16, i went to camp for two weeks away from my parents (during the period of failing my GCSE's) and i felt relieve
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not sure, This was my third attempt at college and i have ruined it. I'm not too confident doing a fourth attempt at college and then being 20 studying a horrific btec course with 16 year olds.

    I just wish i went to uni.
    Well thats fine too. Your whole life doesn't depend on this. You can reapply in 10 years if you feel like it (id like to add that my friends who haven't gone to uni earn more than all my uni friends, me included)

    Have you ever been referred to an IAPT service to help you out with your depression?

    i would like to add.. university is a very hard time and it can worsen mental health problems and actually cause them in many cases.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What makes you think

    I remember when i was 16, i went to camp for two weeks away from my parents (during the period of failing my GCSE's) and i felt relieve
    Well for starters, I am in my final year. I left living at uni after my first year to come back home and commute in because I was so miserable living independently. Also I'm not the only one, I've met many who have been diagnosed with depression since uni and there are loads of psychological support groups making themselves known around campus.

    There is a lot of bull**** spread about uni life. I would know cos I believed it at first...
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by bunnybubbles)
    Have you ever been referred to an IAPT service to help you out with your depression?

    i would like to add.. university is a very hard time and it can worsen mental health problems and actually cause them in many cases.
    A year ago, my dad tried to bribe me to go IAPT, i told him to **** off

    University is the only escape from home. I'm a loner and i need a new life and a future career. Staying at home with this upsetting family will drive me worse
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A year ago, my dad tried to bribe me to go IAPT, i told him to **** off

    University is the only escape from home. I'm a loner and i need a new life and a future career. Staying at home with this upsetting family will drive me worse

    It can really help! I'd suggest you consider it or look into it a bit more?

    University isn't always an escape, I actually ran support groups for university students struggling with mental health issues so I at least feel like I know, plus i'm now a grad. University is made out to be amazing full of just fun and great times, which can be true. But it also has exam stress, house mate arguments, money troubles, bullying, high expectations and general transitional issues.

    You are right though, moving away may help, but it may make things worse if your mental health isn't stable already.
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    Imo the likely outcome if you do go to uni now without addressing your mh problems first is it will be more of the same: bad attendance, late coursework & poor performance that you've had at college.
    As others have mentioned uni isn't a holiday camp, it's demanding and stressful and throws up a lot of stuff you'll need to cope with on your own. You want to be on your top form to start with.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But people keep on saying that missing the deadline means hard to get offers. I blame this on myself :sigh:. If i had pretended to act cool with others and fight my anxiety, i would right now be getting offers to my chosen uni
    It really depends on the uni and course but I doubt being a couple of days late is going to affect your chances.
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    Being 20 isn't the worst thing in the world. I know the ideal situation is to go to university at 18. When I finally start uni in september, I'm going to be 23. This is in part due to following other people, mental health and changing career options however I think it has worked out the best for me. I'm in my second year of a btec and I've never been better.

    I think if I went to uni when I was 18, I would have left soon after. Please get sorted out mentally before considering university. The most important thing is that you look after yourself first, everything else comes afterwards. I know it sounds like it's easier said than done.
    • #1
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    #1

    For some reason... me and my tutor made up, It looks like i am going to university after all as i sent everything today and im now on ucas track waiting for my offers. Thanks for your comments
 
 
 
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