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Mid 20's - worst time of my life?! watch

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    I'm actually pleasantly surprised by full time work, I was brought up with the belief being an adult in a regular 9-5 job is depressing. I like it better than uni. When I was at uni, I always had a constant sense of guilt, and always procrastinated work. When I'm at work ... It's hard to procrastinate... Time flies by (it's 5pm before I know it...) and best of all I have some money to spend unlike at uni. Social life still sucks though, but it always has.

    I'm also finding it strange how much everyone exagerates about mortgages. Rent around my current area costs about £100 per week. A 2 bedroom flat would cost ~£200k. So per week the mortgage will cost about £184, plus bills, council tax and home insurance you can expect that figure to become more like £235. Split between 2 people that's £117.5. More than worth it considering ~£80 of that is going towards your own capital gain.
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    (Original post by Lewk)
    I'm actually pleasantly surprised by full time work, I was brought up with the belief being an adult in a regular 9-5 job is depressing. I like it better than uni. When I was at uni, I always had a constant sense of guilt, and always procrastinated work. When I'm at work ... It's hard to procrastinate... Time flies by (it's 5pm before I know it...) and best of all I have some money to spend unlike at uni. Social life still sucks though, but it always has.

    I'm also finding it strange how much everyone exagerates about mortgages. Rent around my current area costs about £100 per week. A 2 bedroom flat would cost ~£200k. So per week the mortgage will cost about £184, plus bills, council tax and home insurance you can expect that figure to become more like £235. Split between 2 people that's £117.5. More than worth it considering ~£80 of that is going towards your own capital gain.
    Where do you live? I think London is a bit more pricier.
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    I think people who have 9-5 jobs and say that there is nothing going on with their life are not living their life with full presence. The average worker will have 8 hours of free time after work each day; that's a total of 40 hours of free time +weekend each week. You can do so much in that space of time such as volunteering, learning a new foreign language, learning a programming language or whatever you want if you want to get ahead in life/get a faster promotion. You can also discover a new interest to bring excitement into your life and, at the same time, meet new people. (I took up Salsa at the start of January, it's so much fun and have met lots great people of all ages)
    I read somewhere that Britons, on average, watch 4 hours of TV a day; that's insane. What's more insane is that if you take that 4 hours across the human lifespan, that's roughly 10+ years of your life watching TV 24 hours straight. Many of my friends who do this; they finish work, go home and watch TV and they do this nearly everyday.

    I also think it's important for people to have vision in their life. They should assess the situation they are currently in and have a goal/job to work for. "How am I going to get there? What skill or knowledge do I need to develop in order to get there? What books can I read to gain more understanding in my field?"

    Lastly, I don't understand why people need to rush to get married or have children. There are loads of women who have children in their early 30s and I think you should only worry about this when you're approaching your mid 30s.

    Life is for living.
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    (Original post by Sulpha)
    The British are some of the only people in Europe who are obsessed with financially crippling themselves for life with a mortgage just so that they can have 10 years of paying no rent before they die.
    That's because if you understood finances and the economy, you'd realise that investing in a house is most certainly worth it, and that rent is just flushing money down the toilet. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by ebam_uk)
    Where do you live? I think London is a bit more pricier.
    Rent goes up almost proportionally to house prices so it'd make little difference
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    Yeah I was having a early/mid twenties crisis the other day. Can't say much has changed since then and the future looks relatively depressing. I have 4 hours free time after work in which I need an hour to eat and the last half an hour to wind down for bed.
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    This is so sad, and it's true of almost everyone in this age range.

    Have you considered that maybe your husband feels the same? Could you bring it up with him? Go and do something crazy / pursue one or both of your dreams?

    "Most people live lives of quiet desperation". Most people wait for someone to make things better. They never will. NOTHING will happen unless you make it happen.
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    all the people moaning about the 9 - 5, you sound like drones with a boring existence.

    go travelling and get a taste of something new. not with some tour company, do it yourself. "thats too hard" "i couldnt do it" i hear you say... sounds like you were in fact meant to be a drone after all...
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    I'm 25 now and my 20s have been woeful so far. Dropped out of business school in the first year with a head injury, ended up sliding under with serious depression and haven't made any real progress at all on the career ladder. Just doing dead end jobs, moving from place to place, losing friends along the way ... but I'm kinda optimistic now. 26-30 will be my peak years because I'm starting to get the ambition back and have the drive and confidence now to get out there and turn **** around. <br />
    <br />
    Some people peak later. It's not a big deal. <br/>

    26-30 is excellent time... Well was for me... I went to uni for the first time having had all my life dreams trampled on added shredded between 17-23...!

    Life is too short not to enjoy!

    Find your passion and live it!
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    Well said life is too short, just get on with life.
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    I'm at uni, I'm 21 and I feel that you don't get a break, i don't enjoy my course, I don't like my uni. I feel like I have to endure these years of misery and then miserably work to pay them off for the rest of my life. But there are days when I feel good about things and I cling to that feeling, recognize it and try to find it in other places. It sounds ridiculous but if you try the headspace app they have some free mindfulness lessons that really help me when I feel hopeless or lost. And yoga has been a godsend of endorphins too. Just believe that there is better feelings out there
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    (Original post by humblebug)
    I'm at uni, I'm 21 and I feel that you don't get a break, i don't enjoy my course, I don't like my uni. I feel like I have to endure these years of misery and then miserably work to pay them off for the rest of my life. But there are days when I feel good about things and I cling to that feeling, recognize it and try to find it in other places. It sounds ridiculous but if you try the headspace app they have some free mindfulness lessons that really help me when I feel hopeless or lost. And yoga has been a godsend of endorphins too. Just believe that there is better feelings out there
    I feel the exact same as you. I'm 21 at uni. Although I do kind of like my uni, I really do not enjoy my course. I feel I have made a huge mistake taking my course. Especially around multiple deadline time like now, it really gets me down. Then I also think of the tremendous debt I'm going to be after I leave.
    A few years ago I really got into spirituality and philosophy. I meditate when I can. Absolutely love yoga. I love reading about philosophy theories like The Secret. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical. Yoga really did improve the way I felt like it did you too.
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Life doesn't get better. I am a few months from being 26 - and I can say 20-25 have been the worst years of my life. Finance, rent, responsibility, relationship **** - not knowing if I am doing the right things in life. What is the purpose of life?

    It's too much. I see people getting drunk and I just think - I don't have to drink to have fun... that's just tricking my body to think its fun?! If I need a substance to make myself relax... then it's fake.

    Life is a fake ride to death. Period.
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    I don't know if you like reading but I read Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates. You might be able to relate to the characters and their feelings. It certainly helped me think more objectively about my own life anyway.
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    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Life is a fake ride to death. Period.
    No idea what that means, but rather than wallowing too long in self pity, I'd suggest taking a few hints from this dude (see post 30).

    Life is too short not to enjoy!

    Find your passion and live it!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No idea what that means, but rather than wallowing too long in self pity, I'd suggest taking a few hints from this dude (see post 30).
    See that's the problem right there - why does it have to be self pity? Maybe it could be someone going through something and not being able to shake the cloud above their head? Why does it have to be self pity?

    And there I thought humans were supposed to be supportive. Guess I was right all along. Kill or be killed.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    See that's the problem right there - why does it have to be self pity? Maybe it could be someone going through something and not being able to shake the cloud above their head? Why does it have to be self pity?

    And there I thought humans were supposed to be supportive. Guess I was right all along. Kill or be killed.
    I've done an "intervention" on several of these "existential crisis" threads on TSR over the last few months. The process rarely goes well, but I'll give it another shot. If I can help one poor soul out there, it's well worth it! I've been through a lot of what you're going through and come out the other side. Whether that makes you any more receptive to my opinions or not, I don't know, but there it is.

    You concluded your earlier post (34) with a statement about life being fake. That's an entirely subjective notion and to some extent it's under your control. If you want a more authentic life, start finding out how to make your life more authentic for you.

    I labelled your attitude self-pity since you're evidently feeling sorry for yourself. The key thing is that this is your life. You have to take ownership of it. Every experience of the world that you ever have and ever will will be filtered through your own consciousness, so it's impossible to view life as some kind of objective experience. Life isn't - objectively - universally **** or universally great - the only objective thing you can say about it, I suppose, is that it is what it is.

    The crux of this is that you have to make your life worth living - no one else will do it for you. Don't rail at the universe, 'cos the universe will be indifferent.

    I'm sorry for you if you don't think I'm being supportive. I genuinely think I am. But I won't come on here and comfort you in the form of passive agreement with your woes. It's not how I feel and in any case it won't get you anywhere.
 
 
 
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