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How can I become more comfortable around men? Watch

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    (Original post by sparklenshine)
    How can I become friends with guys? I'm 23 and have never had a relationship or been asked out. I'm quite attractive and have been approached to model...but guys have never complimented me except old guys..I only get complimented by girls..I really want to get to know guys better and become more comfortable with them.

    I'm not only uncomfortable with attractive/smart guys but also guys who aren't as smart as me and not attractive..basically any guy!! I always feel sooo self conscious and awkward when I talk to men. If a female friend is sitting near a guy and she looks to me to ask or say something, I always get so awkward and uncomfortable because i know the guy is also listening to the conversation and I fear he will compare my personality to hers or his girlfriends or something..and another problem is when I know a guy has a girlfriend, I always fear he's going to compare my personality and humor with hers.

    I feel like they're judging everything I say and my face and my body and my hair and my clothes..I see other girls who aren't as attractive, or funny, or smart look so comfortable with these same men. I wonder why I can't have their confidence!? I really need help..I hate feeling like this. If I hear someone near me saying something, I always know something funny to say but I'm so shy so I never do. People who are around me at uni probably think I'm so weird because I don't talk to anyone. I know they think I'm just unfriendly but I am not. I'm just shy and socially awkward...

    Do guys judge girls who try to befriend them? I don't want them to think they like me..but I just don't know how to appear calm, confident, and friendly, without getting nervous and making them think I like them..I just don't understand why guys don't like me.

    Why do guys just hate me soo much!? :confused::cry2::cry2::cry2:
    you sound similar to me tbh, trust me guys don't hate you, they may be intimidated by your looks and think you have a boyfriend already. my advice would be to ask them about themselves like work and stuff and see if he opens up to you.
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    guys don't tend to go for the nervous wreck type..
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    (Original post by TitanicTeutonicPhil)
    vs.



    Yeah, I stopped reading right here. You lie.
    Why would that mean I'm lying? Do you think the universe has rules? That every attractive girl gets asked out by millions of guys? Actually, the opposite is true. All the attractive girls I know are always single and the average to ugly girls are always in relationships.

    Also, I don't need to lie to random people on this website lmao. I have better things to do and it doesn't help me to lie. I don't get anything by making stuff up. Use your brain next time you try to post such things to make me look fake or like a liar to people when I am only trying to get honest answers.

    It's comments like this that piss me off. Weird random guys acting like they know everything and know me.
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    (Original post by sparklenshine)
    How can I become friends with guys? I'm 23 and have never had a relationship or been asked out. I'm quite attractive and have been approached to model...but guys have never complimented me except old guys..I only get complimented by girls..I really want to get to know guys better and become more comfortable with them.

    I'm not only uncomfortable with attractive/smart guys but also guys who aren't as smart as me and not attractive..basically any guy!! I always feel sooo self conscious and awkward when I talk to men. If a female friend is sitting near a guy and she looks to me to ask or say something, I always get so awkward and uncomfortable because i know the guy is also listening to the conversation and I fear he will compare my personality to hers or his girlfriends or something..and another problem is when I know a guy has a girlfriend, I always fear he's going to compare my personality and humor with hers.

    I feel like they're judging everything I say and my face and my body and my hair and my clothes..I see other girls who aren't as attractive, or funny, or smart look so comfortable with these same men. I wonder why I can't have their confidence!? I really need help..I hate feeling like this. If I hear someone near me saying something, I always know something funny to say but I'm so shy so I never do. People who are around me at uni probably think I'm so weird because I don't talk to anyone. I know they think I'm just unfriendly but I am not. I'm just shy and socially awkward...

    Do guys judge girls who try to befriend them? I don't want them to think they like me..but I just don't know how to appear calm, confident, and friendly, without getting nervous and making them think I like them..I just don't understand why guys don't like me.

    Why do guys just hate me soo much!? :confused::cry2::cry2::cry2:
    I'll be honest with you...we don't judge you nearly as much as you judge us-use that as a rule of thumb when it comes to men.

    When a man likes a woman he considers her physical attractiveness first and over a period of time he then sees whether her personality is compatible with his own.

    If a man is seriously attracted to a woman he won't even be that bothered by what she thinks or says unless she says/does something seriously stupid or *****y.

    You say you're attractive, if that's true then all things being equal (if you socialise properly/have no serious psychological issues etc) they should be attracted to you and seek your attention.

    However, if you're too physically attractive that can intimidate some men becuase they'll think you're either taken or you might think you're better than them. Do you think you might have that problem?
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    OP is having one of her "periods" again. Apart from the one that involves the toilet and some blood, she also has one that involves the mind and some words on a screen
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    Its all in your head :hugs:

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    (Original post by sparklenshine)
    How can I become friends with guys? I'm 23 and have never had a relationship or been asked out. I'm quite attractive and have been approached to model...but guys have never complimented me except old guys..I only get complimented by girls..I really want to get to know guys better and become more comfortable with them.

    I'm not only uncomfortable with attractive/smart guys but also guys who aren't as smart as me and not attractive..basically any guy!! I always feel sooo self conscious and awkward when I talk to men. If a female friend is sitting near a guy and she looks to me to ask or say something, I always get so awkward and uncomfortable because i know the guy is also listening to the conversation and I fear he will compare my personality to hers or his girlfriends or something..and another problem is when I know a guy has a girlfriend, I always fear he's going to compare my personality and humor with hers.

    I feel like they're judging everything I say and my face and my body and my hair and my clothes..I see other girls who aren't as attractive, or funny, or smart look so comfortable with these same men. I wonder why I can't have their confidence!? I really need help..I hate feeling like this. If I hear someone near me saying something, I always know something funny to say but I'm so shy so I never do. People who are around me at uni probably think I'm so weird because I don't talk to anyone. I know they think I'm just unfriendly but I am not. I'm just shy and socially awkward...

    Do guys judge girls who try to befriend them? I don't want them to think they like me..but I just don't know how to appear calm, confident, and friendly, without getting nervous and making them think I like them..I just don't understand why guys don't like me.

    Why do guys just hate me soo much!? :confused::cry2::cry2::cry2:
    I have the same problem as you and I want a solution too!! It sucks to be me.
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    (Original post by tricky jj)
    I have the same problem as you and I want a solution too!! It sucks to be me.
    So what's the problem ....I personally like it when a girl is shy and awkward ...its a nice change from the retards in my school. Stop thinking so much of what guys think ...most of the time they aren't and are just thinking what girls are judging about them ! ......just be you!

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    Try to not think of them as male, just another person. You're putting too much pressure on yourself in those situations, maybe you're subconsciously scared/worried about sexual attraction and relationships? I know you talk about friendship, but the potential is there.
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    (Original post by realunited)
    So what's the problem ....I personally like it when a girl is shy and awkward ...its a nice change from the retards in my school. Stop thinking so much of what guys think ...most of the time they aren't and are just thinking what girls are judging about them ! ......just be you!

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I don't want guys to think that I am stuck up or vain....
    I don't know what they actually think about me. Its just so hard for me to talk to guys...!!
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    (Original post by tricky jj)
    I don't want guys to think that I am stuck up or vain....
    I don't know what they actually think about me. Its just so hard for me to talk to guys...!!
    Why do you think you are stuck up or vain?
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    I [email protected] Birkenhead
    what attracts guys to immature girls are their confidence
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    Why did you say guys hate you seriously nothing in your post indicated that and the probably don't even have an opinion. Don't take things so seriously just start talking to them about anything. Also post a picture if you think you are attractive.
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    (Original post by WeedCanKill)
    Try to not think of them as male, just another person. You're putting too much pressure on yourself in those situations, maybe you're subconsciously scared/worried about sexual attraction and relationships? I know you talk about friendship, but the potential is there.
    I don't know, it's so hard, I can't even explain how I feel when I want to talk to a guy and my mouth is seriously glued shut and I can't even open it to say anything. It's just soo hard!!!! :cry2:
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    (Original post by Guy Secretan)
    Why did you say guys hate you seriously nothing in your post indicated that and the probably don't even have an opinion. Don't take things so seriously just start talking to them about anything. Also post a picture if you think you are attractive.
    But they do strange things around me. For example, one day I was walking with this other girl and we came across two guys we knew. None of them even made eye contact with me which is not normal because you do naturally look at whoever is standing next to who you're talking to but it was like they didn't want to look in my direction..or they seem uncomfortable around me, they don't seem as easy going as with other girls..no matter how funny I am or if I make them laugh, they don't act 'normal' in body language and I can tell. I don't know why..I just get weird vibes. I really want to be friends with some guys though. I think they're much more interesting, smarter, and funnier than girls lol
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    If you've been approached by modelling scouts then surely those people think you're pretty?
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    (Original post by realunited)
    Its all in your head :hugs:

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Really? Do guys not judge or compare? I want to be as cool and fun as their guy friends. How can I do this?
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Alcohol is the solution.
    ngl that helped me with social anxiety at parties
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    Talking to guys isn't much different to talking to girls, I know since I never used to have much experience with girls but once I chatted to them more socially (mostly online though aha) & I realised it's not that hard (although sometimes I worry about them think I'm always trying to chat them up lol :erm). Just be yourself, be confident & bubbly & I'm sure decent guys will react positively. I couldn't care less about someone's looks if I just wanted to be friends with someone, good luck!
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    (Original post by sparklenshine)
    But you guys seem soo hard to please I really am sad about this lol. I mean its so easy with girls..you just talk to them, if you're interesting, they want your number to hang out later but guys seem like they can never be pleased. No matter how funny I am to the few I talk to, they never text me or include me..

    How funny and cool does a girl have to be to just be platonic friends with a man?


    We men are not hard to please at all, a blowjob, a sandwich and some idle conversation can be more than enough.
    Maybe you're just boring or making them feel wierd with your awkwardness. You shouldn't shame men for not choosing you, there's probably a good reason why they are not. If you have tried multiple times to get to know men but have been brushed off then I suspect the problem is you. Men don't owe you jacks**t , blaming us for your neurosis is only going to harm your chances even further. Seek therapy before you seek more interaction with men.
    Oh and, for the love of god, don't use alcohol as a crutch. Some muppet always mentions that on TSR for some reason but alcohol is the absolute WORST way to deal with your issues.
 
 
 
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