Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Girls, would you ever have an indian/pakistani boyfriend? Watch

    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AnharM)
    See you girls don't realise when I say you "really like him"...Juliet went against her family wishes to be with Romeo, what makes you think you'd just be like "hmmm, he is good looking, he has a great personality, he is a moderate Muslim, but ahhh his family are strict Muslims, so it's a no from me.", life doesn't work like that. If you really really liked him, you would try to make it work, and when **** hits the fan, you'd stick together.
    Actually sometimes it does, I wouldn't get emotionally or romantically involved in the first place if I thought down the line it would be a complete nightmare because of his family.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    I would never not date someone due to their race, origin, ethnic background or anything of the like. I wouldn't care if you were Indian or Pakistani. However, for me to date someone there would have to well feelings, mutual opinions and the like so if they were heavily religious as an atheist I think that would cause too much strife and hardship to even begin the relationship in the first place. That wouldn't stop me from being accquaintences or friends though...
    • #6
    #6

    I did once, and for the first year or so it was great. Then the cultural differences began to show. He never told his family because I was a white British girl, not a Pakistani Muslim, and they wouldn't have liked me.
    As their culture is different to normal 'British' culture, gradually he got more strict with me - I wasn't allowed male friends, even those I'd been friends with for years, I wasn't allowed to wear tight jeans/tops, I wasn't allowed to wear anything revealing in case other men looked at me. I wasn't allowed out on nights out even with just other girls, and I wasn't allowed to drink alcohol. The whole thing culminated with the police getting involved and it was a bit grim really.

    So yeah, I wouldn't again I don't think. Just because I think the cultural difference is too big. And even if they themselves aren't religious, the family can cause problems with it. It's horrible knowing your other half has to lie to their parents about you, and to them, you don't exist.
    • #7
    #7

    The answer is 'Yes' if he has lot's of cash otherwise no - this goes for all religions

    -The female community.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Groot)
    Be yourself. If the person was a Muslim, for example, I wouldn't date him because our views would clash too much. I'd still be friends with Muslims though.
    What if the Muslim was liberal/integrated into Western society?
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Yeah, but some families would accept it
    • TSR Support Team
    Online

    19
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    Please can we not derail the thread with chit-chat or turning it into a debate about religion, if you want to chit-chat either go to the chat section, if you want to debate please go to the debate and current affairs section, otherwise I will lock this thread, thanks
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I did once, and for the first year or so it was great. Then the cultural differences began to show. He never told his family because I was a white British girl, not a Pakistani Muslim, and they wouldn't have liked me.
    As their culture is different to normal 'British' culture, gradually he got more strict with me - I wasn't allowed male friends, even those I'd been friends with for years, I wasn't allowed to wear tight jeans/tops, I wasn't allowed to wear anything revealing in case other men looked at me. I wasn't allowed out on nights out even with just other girls, and I wasn't allowed to drink alcohol. The whole thing culminated with the police getting involved and it was a bit grim really.

    So yeah, I wouldn't again I don't think. Just because I think the cultural difference is too big. And even if they themselves aren't religious, the family can cause problems with it. It's horrible knowing your other half has to lie to their parents about you, and to them, you don't exist.
    Why did the police get involved?
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by Guy Secretan)
    Why did the police get involved?
    A couple of injuries and a harrassment warning. Of course I am not suggesting the only victims of that abuse are those in relationships with Indians or Pakistanis. Simply that they are arose from cultural differences stemming from the fact he was of Pakistani descent and believed women should behave in a certain manner etc etc. A manner not consistent with Western values, often.
    • #8
    #8

    For me it would be a no, but that's just because of personal preference. I don't find them attractive and that can't be helped. Each to their own
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Indian/Pakistani/Bengali girls are so beautiful.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    im white and my bfs indian
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lucylocket118)
    im white and my bfs indian
    Same here but he's not very religious


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Jesus Christ, I'm so sick of finding all these threads about how it's so outrageous for any girl to go out with an Indian or Pakistani man. Just the way in which anyone even needs to ask "would you ever have an Indian/Pakistani boyfriend" shows that there is so much persecution and racial hatred towards us because of our heritage, regardless of our personalities. I'd like to remind everyone reading this that we are NOT all terrorists, rapists, paedophiles or common criminals. But because all girls are so high-maintenance and will immediately judge us on the colour of our skin, any Indian or Pakistani man would be extremely lucky to find a girl who actually prioritises character and personality traits over ethnicity. OP, you're implying that we're all dangerous people who should be avoided - we're not. Why can't any girl ever look beyond what they want and think for a minute about how some of us might be genuinely caring people (I'm not saying I am, but it's very disappointing when I see South Asian guys who are so nurturing towards their friends, rejected by girls because of their ethnicity). It's insulting that you would even ask a question like that. :mad:

    Put it this way: if anyone on TSR were to ask the same question but about white/black/Hispanic/Oriental people, no-one would care. Everyone would tell you that you're being stupid for asking such an insensitive question about basing relationships on race. But as soon as someone asks about Indian or Pakistani boyfriends, we have all the racists on TSR ranting about how we're all abusive and violent.

    I understand that it's completely out of line for anyone to try and control a girl's behaviour, let alone just Muslim people (as someone mentioned above). But have you ever thought about how girls use relationships to manipulate us into getting what they want? Girls will never EVER compromise on anything for a South Asian man as much as they would for a white man. Especially if alcohol, drugs, clubbing and sex are involved. God Forbid any man would be unhappy with their girlfriend if they insisted on getting drunk and laid with other guys nearly every night of the week, but apparently that's acceptable behaviour if you're in a relationship with an Indian/Pakistani man.


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A couple of injuries and a harrassment warning. Of course I am not suggesting the only victims of that abuse are those in relationships with Indians or Pakistanis. Simply that they are arose from cultural differences stemming from the fact he was of Pakistani descent and believed women should behave in a certain manner etc etc. A manner not consistent with Western values, often.
    If you're in an inter-cultural relationship and you both love each other, you will work it out. End of. That guy obviously didn't love you enough to respect your beliefs, so your relationship did not fail because of his ethnicity or his culture. He was abusive, so you got rid of him (and respect to you for doing that). But don't you think you had a responsibility to find out about his culture and their attitudes to women, so that you might have foreseen his behaviour towards your alcohol and male friends? If you knew enough about Pakistani people you might have known how Islam is against alcohol and requires women to be respectable. The two of you could easily have discussed this like adults at some point, but instead everything blew up in your face. That's exactly the reaction people want - like I said above, no girl will ever compromise on anything in an inter-cultural relationship because "Western values" mean too much. So whenever anyone asks an outrageous question like "would you ever have an Indian or Pakistani boyfriend", you're just making us even more mad. What have any of us done to you? Being Western (and especially being British) means being proud of your heritage and proud of living in a multicultural society where (supposedly) everyone is equal. So how do you think that makes us feel when we see people who are disgusted at the thought of dating a South Asian person, enough to ask if anyone else would do it?

    What do you consider to be "Western values"? If you mean alcohol, drugs, clubbing and having sex with other men then obviously a Pakistani man would be unhappy about that. That didn't give him the right to control you, but did you try explaining to him that he might have been over-reacting? People don't get abusive like that without a good reason, and if he did then he truly wasn't the right boyfriend for you. Why did you even go out with him if you didn't want to accept that something like this might happen?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 24, 2015
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.