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Beginning to think I'm undateable watch

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    (Original post by Joshale)
    Ignore this guy, he's obviously some beta ******* who's got nothing to offer in the looks department
    More like omega. Go to gym op... Only hb8+ go to expensive membership ones. If subhb3 sneaks in, ignore.
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    (Original post by geoking)
    Relationships tend to emerge with who you study/work with, live with and extended social circles. Anything outside of that is total unicorn ****.
    I keep hearing this, and where I work at the moment, I will probably have more luck having a relationship with a sheep than meeting someone where I work! BUT . . will keep plugging away at it!

    (Original post by Clip)
    Maybe 30 is a bit late to be looking for this kind of boyfriend. Say you had one or two stable relationships lasting 18 months each - you'd then be 33 if you're thinking about marriage - without even having someone in mind. You could end up defaulting to someone you wouldn't really want to settle down with because they happen to be around.
    So basically I am past the point of ever finding anyone?

    (Original post by Rakas21)
    I advise you stay on POF but Tinder is the ultimate sex app.

    I also suspect your being too shallow or not hard enough on personality traits.
    You advise that I stay on PoF, really? :confused: No, definitely not shallow, perhaps not hard enough on the personality traits. All of the blokes detailed in my original post, I have a lot in common with, perhaps not so much the body building guy - he bored me to friggin tears! But I don't think I am delving deeper into personality traits which might be where I am going wrong, maybe? :dontknow:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I keep hearing this, and where I work at the moment, I will probably have more luck having a relationship with a sheep than meeting someone where I work! BUT . . will keep plugging away at it!
    That's from my experience and a few others and I've tried pretty much everything. I'd also recommend ditching POF - it's near enough the worst dating site out there, but I'd also not do online dating as I've had 100% success rate with finding bat **** crazy people on them.

    The two bits of advice I'd give is either a) Move to London or b) move abroad. Simply put if you want a good partner, you'll be lucky to find one in this country outside of London. Only in London does online dating work as the pot of people isn't nearly as grim and you have people who have actual careers, not time fillers in between getting lashed at the weekend :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by geoking)
    That's from my experience and a few others and I've tried pretty much everything. I'd also recommend ditching POF - it's near enough the worst dating site out there, but I'd also not do online dating as I've had 100% success rate with finding bat **** crazy people on them.

    The two bits of advice I'd give is either a) Move to London or b) move abroad. Simply put if you want a good partner, you'll be lucky to find one in this country outside of London. Only in London does online dating work as the pot of people isn't nearly as grim and you have people who have actual careers, not time fillers in between getting lashed at the weekend :rolleyes:
    Oh, if I could financially afford to move to London, or abroad, I would in a heartbeat . . trust me! I have even consider selling my flat, car, quitting my job and going travelling for a bit and seeing where that takes me. But I have no courage to do it, fearing that I will end up with absolutely nothing if it doesn't work out!

    I've tried online dating on/off for years, and although my situations never work out, I always find myself back on them. But I think after this stint, I am well and truly done with it. It's just really boring, tiresome and so much 'effort', trying to impress via words and pictures!

    Oh well . . .I guess only I can only hope and keep doing my thing . . :dontknow:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So basically I am past the point of ever finding anyone?
    Of course not - but if you are thinking of settling down at some point, it might be worth considering that spending multiple years having the kind of relationships that are more typical for 18-25s. You don't want to be husband hunting at 40.
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    (Original post by Clip)
    Of course not - but if you are thinking of settling down at some point, it might be worth considering that spending multiple years having the kind of relationships that are more typical for 18-25s. You don't want to be husband hunting at 40.
    Ooo okey dokey.

    I was talking to my old boss earlier (we get on pretty well), and she asked me if I was dating and etc, and I was blunt and told her been on a few dates and etc but nothing has worked out. And she said it is hard these days, trying to find someone who wants a long term relationship and not a 'wham bam' session. Also trying to find someone without baggage is another issue too, i.e. children, crazy ex gfs and etc. I definitely do not want to be man hunting when I get to 40 . .that actually terrifies me as my Aunts are in their 40s/50s, and they have children, but no husband, and it has become a running joke within the family! But I definitely don't want that. Plus my mum is desperate for me to find a nice gentleman and have the typical white wedding (she never did with my dad, they had a registry office wedding). Plus she wants to get involved with the whole wedding thing before she gets old and etc. Typical mother thinking lol.

    So many people also ask or say ''Where's your bloke?'' or ''How are you still single?'', and I find it a bit embarrassing having to say ''I'm single'', ''Haven't found the one yet'', and etc. For someone of my age I should have a bloke, but no bugger wants me, I guess! lol Feel like I am under a bit of pressure too. :cool:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ooo okey dokey.

    I was talking to my old boss earlier (we get on pretty well), and she asked me if I was dating and etc, and I was blunt and told her been on a few dates and etc but nothing has worked out. And she said it is hard these days, trying to find someone who wants a long term relationship and not a 'wham bam' session. Also trying to find someone without baggage is another issue too, i.e. children, crazy ex gfs and etc. I definitely do not want to be man hunting when I get to 40 . .that actually terrifies me as my Aunts are in their 40s/50s, and they have children, but no husband, and it has become a running joke within the family! But I definitely don't want that. Plus my mum is desperate for me to find a nice gentleman and have the typical white wedding (she never did with my dad, they had a registry office wedding). Plus she wants to get involved with the whole wedding thing before she gets old and etc. Typical mother thinking lol.

    So many people also ask or say ''Where's your bloke?'' or ''How are you still single?'', and I find it a bit embarrassing having to say ''I'm single'', ''Haven't found the one yet'', and etc. For someone of my age I should have a bloke, but no bugger wants me, I guess! lol Feel like I am under a bit of pressure too. :cool:
    Not to sound unsympathetic, but almost every woman I know has a huge list of criteria in a boyfriend / husband, and even when they find someone that fits the bill - they're still not good enough.

    You might think you can't find anyone, but I guarantee you that there will be a hundred blokes out there who would crawl through a barrel of broken glass for a date with you - but there's a good chance that you'd find something wrong with them.
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    stop looking and it'll come to you
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    (Original post by Clip)
    Not to sound unsympathetic, but almost every woman I know has a huge list of criteria in a boyfriend / husband, and even when they find someone that fits the bill - they're still not good enough.

    You might think you can't find anyone, but I guarantee you that there will be a hundred blokes out there who would crawl through a barrel of broken glass for a date with you - but there's a good chance that you'd find something wrong with them.
    During my early 20s I was very picky, but as I have grown up and matured, I have realised we're not all perfect and there are flaws in everyone. I have since dropped that attitude of being nit picky, and now just take a man at face value and then learn to get to know him gradually. Yes there will be things about him that I may not be keen on, but it wouldn't deter me away from actually dating him (HA . . if I could get pass date 3. . . :cool:)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    During my early 20s I was very picky, but as I have grown up and matured, I have realised we're not all perfect and there are flaws in everyone. I have since dropped that attitude of being nit picky, and now just take a man at face value and then learn to get to know him gradually. Yes there will be things about him that I may not be keen on, but it wouldn't deter me away from actually dating him (HA . . if I could get pass date 3. . . :cool:)
    Well, at least you're honest.

    Are you some sort of student, btw?
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    (Original post by Clip)
    Well, at least you're honest.

    Are you some sort of student, btw?
    That's what I'm about - very honest and blunt! I don't do games, or lie - gets you nowhere and it's plain annoying!

    I was a student . . graduated a few years ago (2010). But contemplating doing Msc . . I work full time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's what I'm about - very honest and blunt! I don't do games, or lie - gets you nowhere and it's plain annoying!

    I was a student . . graduated a few years ago (2010). But contemplating doing Msc . . I work full time.
    Go back. A few weeks at the union and you'll meet loads of people.
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    (Original post by Clip)
    Go back. A few weeks at the union and you'll meet loads of people.
    Can't afford to! Have a mortgage and bills to pay! I am however trying to change jobs and find an employer that will fund the Msc I am wanting to do! (Cheeky, I know, but being honest in what I want. Don't get if you don't ask!)
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    i am too.
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    (Original post by Joshale)
    Ignore this guy, he's obviously some beta ******* who's got nothing to offer in the looks department
    Your powers of perception are clearly pretty dire given I'm a girl for starters...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    I know Tinder is purely hook up central, but PoF people put what they are looking for, so I kinda go on that. Usually question them, not interview style lol, but probe their intentions and none of the guys I have spoken to have expressed the desire for casual sex only. I'm blunt, straight up with them and say I'm not looking for that (although I feel like a hypocrite with the whole FwB situation which I really want to finish?!)
    See the issue here is that you know tinder and pof are mostly people looking for casual sex, but don't seem to accept that a lot of guys will lie in order to get that. You seem to want the kind of guy who would never use tinder or pof.

    As for the fwb situation, such things happen. I would just stop talking to them for your own sake. A blocked and deleted number = end of issue.

    (Original post by Anonymous)

    The Body Building cretin and the Former work colleague - yes, they were both seeking casual sex EVEN though I told BOTH I wasn't into that. They both knew how I felt but totally disrespected my wishes. When they couldn't get it, I was the nastiest ***** on earth! More like I dented their ego! lol
    All fair, but I think there's more to it given you saw reason to even mention them.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The F1 guy USE to work for Red Bull. He works for a company which I cannot mention on here, but goes away regularly with work on business trips and etc. The DJ guy works in a Law firm . . the Navy guy works in the Navy, often travels, the body building guy has his own business in computers and the former work colleague . . well he still works in the same place that I left 3 years ago! Ok, yes as you've said, none are high flying men, but they are ALL working which in my eyes is far better than dating a Benefits lazy person which I personally wouldn't touch with a barge pole ever again! Went there and it was the worse relationship I had ever endured!

    You say to perhaps go for men who are 'Professional', that is the type of guy I have tried dating in the past, well trying to find but I honestly do not know where the heck they are. When I was on PoF, I saw a Dr on there . .seemed like a nice guy. But if he is on PoF kinda makes me think perhaps they are all online? :dontknow:
    The issue seems the kind of places you go, and perhaps your social circle. If you want to meet people like that, you need to find ways to meet them. From experience I've found that every town/city has bars which tend to attract a more professional crowd, where most people won't go. They tend to cost more (though not always) and are probably the best place to meet people at your age in person. There's always the old "do an evening course"/"join a club route" as well if you're into things like languages or sports, but I think some tactical night outs are your best bets.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I keep hearing this, and where I work at the moment, I will probably have more luck having a relationship with a sheep than meeting someone where I work! BUT . . will keep plugging away at it!

    So basically I am past the point of ever finding anyone?

    You advise that I stay on PoF, really? :confused: No, definitely not shallow, perhaps not hard enough on the personality traits. All of the blokes detailed in my original post, I have a lot in common with, perhaps not so much the body building guy - he bored me to friggin tears! But I don't think I am delving deeper into personality traits which might be where I am going wrong, maybe? :dontknow:
    Yeah. POF by virtue of being free has the most people and while many want sex there's enough profile information to at least begin to filter.

    Perhaps i'm being a bit harsh but if i was a woman approaching 30 then a DJ wouldn't be the first choice of long term partner and bodybuilder probably does indicate he's a bit vein and showered in women. Look for the boring professionals, they have stable prospects and then it's down to personality.

    Remember that your a woman in Britain. So long as your skinny and wear makeup and nice clothes you will have no shortage of men approaching you.
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    (Original post by jenkinsear)
    See the issue here is that you know tinder and pof are mostly people looking for casual sex, but don't seem to accept that a lot of guys will lie in order to get that. You seem to want the kind of guy who would never use tinder or pof.
    I kinda just go on the hope that at least one of them is being honest - as I don't like to tarnish all with the same brush.

    (Original post by jenkinsear)
    As for the fwb situation, such things happen. I would just stop talking to them for your own sake. A blocked and deleted number = end of issue.
    Tried that, but he always finds me! i.e Facebook, Skype, Email . .


    (Original post by jenkinsear)
    All fair, but I think there's more to it given you saw reason to even mention them.
    Honestly nothing more to it whatsoever. Been on the dates with body building cretin, and no joke, he forced himself on me, in the middle of a field! I told him ''Get off'', but he wouldn't listen. He even tried to force me to kiss him, even though I said I wasn't interested in doing that and etc. He knew the score, but completely disrespected that.

    As for the former work colleague, we've had a thing for each other for years, but he was dating some girl. He told me they had finished, and that it was well and truly over. I took that at face value and believed him. Spent a few evenings with him, watching DVDs, chilling, and general nattering, and then he too tried to force sex, said ''I need to lighten up and task risks'' (bearing in mind he was wanting unprotected sex, and I was like WTF?! Because I said no, dented his confidence/ego, I am the nastiest ***** on earth! :rolleyes: I mentioned it because they are blokes I have had dealings with in the last year - just trying to give all an overview of what has taken place in my private life. I'm very open and honest, I don't hide anything.



    (Original post by jenkinsear)
    The issue seems the kind of places you go, and perhaps your social circle. If you want to meet people like that, you need to find ways to meet them. From experience I've found that every town/city has bars which tend to attract a more professional crowd, where most people won't go. They tend to cost more (though not always) and are probably the best place to meet people at your age in person. There's always the old "do an evening course"/"join a club route" as well if you're into things like languages or sports, but I think some tactical night outs are your best bets.
    Yes, that is exactly what I am wanting to do. However where I live isn't exactly known for its party/night life. And my social circle is shocking, in the same that the majority of my friends are either in relationships, married or have children, so hardly anyone goes out anymore. Therefore I have been trying to think of new ways to make friends, that venture to the nice swanky/decent bars we do have in our neighbouring town!
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    (Original post by Rakas21)
    Yeah. POF by virtue of being free has the most people and while many want sex there's enough profile information to at least begin to filter.

    Perhaps i'm being a bit harsh but if i was a woman approaching 30 then a DJ wouldn't be the first choice of long term partner and bodybuilder probably does indicate he's a bit vein and showered in women. Look for the boring professionals, they have stable prospects and then it's down to personality.

    Remember that your a woman in Britain. So long as your skinny and wear makeup and nice clothes you will have no shortage of men approaching you.
    I know on PoF you can set your search to more or less filter out the rubbish, which is what I did, i.e. looking for long term relationship''. So that is why I had hoped the guys who I had met from that category were looking for something a bit more serious - :dontknow: Maybe they are and they're not longer interested? :dontknow:. But I have done my best to try and filter out those eager for sex!

    As for the men - the DJ . .that is what he use to do as a hobby, he actually works in a Law form. And the Body building guy, he has his own business in IT. But he was rank (when I think back to it). Constantly obsessed with food, criticised me for being a bit out of puff when we went for a walk, and obsessed with image! When I think back I kinda think he would be an utter bore, but also a bit of an obsessed freak!

    I don't wear make up daily as I don't like the feel of it on my skin. But when I go out, I make an effort. Yes I get attention, but it's usually drunk men, bottom pinching and just slurring their words! :facepalm: But one day I can hope I will find a decent guy - lets hope, ey . .
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    What did you graduate with and what Msc do you want to do?
 
 
 
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