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want to start dating but am Muslim Watch

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    (Original post by RosyPearl)
    I don't disagree with you, but it depends how strict your culture is aswell, because when I had to meet my fiancé, my mum came to observe in the first meeting because I had met the guy through her but then she left us two to get to know one another in a costa coffee shop near my home, my dad got involved in the end when I knew he wasn't the one for me. So what I'm saying is we dated but kept it halal and got engaged after a month so that we could have less restrictions with our interaction.
    Just to let you know I'm talking from an Islamic point of view and not cultural, in Islam there are no difference of opinion generally when it comes to meeting potential spouses.

    A Mahram is needed, who must observe such meetings, a female relative do not count including your mother nor are you two allowed to be left alone without the mahram.
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    (Original post by kaiwid23)
    Sure, I'll back up 'my' interpretation - in Saudi Arabia, Muslims do not date, as is the case in many other Muslim countries in the Middle-East. As the majority of Muslims live in those countries, it is logical to assume that it's a majority view that dating is wrong in Islam.

    Your cocky and dismissive attitude is quite offensive. My religious beliefs do not affect my knowledge of faiths, especially if I was brought up in the religion I'm talking about.
    You don't seem very knowledgable dear, especially when you decide to bring up Saudi Arabia where women can't even drive, that country is a disgrace to islam..try harder. Just because the majority of the people in one specific place have a backward mentality it doesn't mean you could accuse islam, in Allahs eyes you could perfectly date as long as the parents approve, there is no physical contact and the intention is sincere. A lot of people may not approve because of cultural reasons but at the end of the day we are here to please Allah and not the people.
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    (Original post by Iqbal007)
    Just to let you know I'm talking from an Islamic point of view and not cultural, in Islam there are no difference of opinion generally when it comes to meeting potential spouses.

    A Mahram is needed, who must observe such meetings, a female relative do not count including your mother nor are you two allowed to be left alone without the mahram.
    Well I am aware what the Islamic teachings are, I was not left alone. My father decided not to intervene. I met him in a safe public place, near my home it was perfectly fine. Infact because I got to know him without people intervening much, his true colours showed which wouldn't have happened if he was constantly observed. Btw I'm not cultural in any sense of the word, we are liberal but also religious.
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    (Original post by RosyPearl)
    You don't seem very knowledgable dear, especially when you decide to bring up Saudi Arabia where women can't even drive, that country is a disgrace to islam..try harder. Just because the majority of the people in one specific place have a backward mentality it doesn't mean you could accuse islam, in Allahs eyes you could perfectly date as long as the parents approve, there is no physical contact and the intention is sincere. A lot of people may not approve because of cultural reasons but at the end of the day we are here to please Allah and not the people.
    Back off.

    He's saying the majority of Muslims hold that view. He's not justifying it so stop trying to create mountain from a mow hill.
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    (Original post by Ahwab)
    Back off.

    He's saying the majority of Muslims hold that view. He's not justifying it so stop trying to create mountain from a mow hill.
    Well Saudi Arabia isn't a reliable source and you need to chillax
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    (Original post by RosyPearl)
    Well Saudi Arabia isn't a reliable source and you need to chillax
    Sorry mom
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    (Original post by RosyPearl)
    Well I am aware what the Islamic teachings are, I was not left alone. My father decided not to intervene. I met him in a safe public place, near my home it was perfectly fine. Infact because I got to know him without people intervening much, his true colours showed which wouldn't have happened if he was constantly observed. Btw I'm not cultural in any sense of the word, we are liberal but also religious.
    I'm just letting you know, if a mahram is not present observing the meeting than the meeting isn't halal. There's no way around this from an Islamic view point.
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    (Original post by Iqbal007)
    I'm just letting you know, if a mahram is not present observing the meeting than the meeting isn't halal. There's no way around this from an Islamic view point.
    So if you went to an interview or a meeting to speak to a man, would you take a mahram with you? I believe its better to have a marram present but its not a must, especially if the girl lives far away from home and met the guy at uni. As long as people can see them and what they are discussing is relevant and halal, its fine.
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    If you want to date then date, nothing wrong with it at all (you dont need to have sexual relationships if you dont want to)

    Whats worrying me is why you are not staying true to your religion? I am not muslim and i dont believe any of islams rules are necessary. And you clearly feel that some of islam's rules are out dated because "times change".
    I suggest if you really care a lot about your religion then follow it properly, however if you see these little flaws then you need to have a think about whats more important to you. Being yourself? or following something you dont fully believe in to please other people?
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    (Original post by RosyPearl)
    Yes I agree, but since he's in uni I think what's more important is that they're not alone together because Shaytan is always the third it would be better if a mahram was there aswell
    Lol wat
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    (Original post by CJKay)
    Lol wat
    When a man and woman are alone together, shaitaan is the third being present :yes:

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by RosyPearl)
    Well Saudi Arabia isn't a reliable source and you need to chillax
    The rest of the Islamic countries aren't exactly much more liberal:

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/wo...s-9990339.html
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-30863159
    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-30848689
    http://www.presstv.ir/Detail/2015/01...-Hebdo-cartoon
    http://www.theguardian.com/world/201...-charlie-hebdo
    http://edition.cnn.com/2015/01/14/wo...charlie-hebdo/
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-30858044

    (Original post by Up quark)
    When a man and woman are alone together, shaitaan is the third being present :yes:
    You know this from experience or..?
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    No you don't have to tell your parents. If you're asking about whether it's islamically permissible...weeeeellll...it's not really, though I'm not saying you're going to hell or anything (I'm an atheist). I guess you could say that dating allows you get to know someone better, which is very important for something like marriage so you don't end up divorcing a year later. But of course, you're not interested in marriage at the moment.

    Dunno op...it's pretty hard to rationalise it. Even if you had hadiths and surahs to back you up, your parents wouldn't think dating is acceptable.

    Ultimately, if you want to date, go on. But don't do mental gymnastics to make stuff fit into Islam, just do leave Islam. If that's what you want.

    If you're talking about courtship, or getting to know someone before marriage, google Malcolm X's marriage. I'm pretty sure the Nation of Islam used to have social events specifically for that purpose, Betty Sanders and Malcolm got to know each other better at various dinners, social events etc. There must be some old documents outlining procedures and what not...
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    Stop being religious.
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    (Original post by RosyPearl)
    You don't seem very knowledgable dear, especially when you decide to bring up Saudi Arabia where women can't even drive, that country is a disgrace to islam..try harder. Just because the majority of the people in one specific place have a backward mentality it doesn't mean you could accuse islam, in Allahs eyes you could perfectly date as long as the parents approve, there is no physical contact and the intention is sincere. A lot of people may not approve because of cultural reasons but at the end of the day we are here to please Allah and not the people.
    Saudi Arabia is a country where almost 100% of citizens are Muslim. Who are you to tell 30,000,000 people that they are a disgrace to Islam? They pray, they fast, they pay the Zakaat and, due to their location, they probably go on Hajj a lot more than you, too. These people would tell you that YOU are the disgrace to Islam for justifying dating through various loopholes and intricate paths.

    In my eyes, neither of you are a disgrace to Islam - I wouldn't even care if you were - but I do think you're quite rude for talking down my attitudes as if they're invalid or stupid just because we don't have the same religious beliefs.
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    (Original post by RosyPearl)
    So if you went to an interview or a meeting to speak to a man, would you take a mahram with you? I believe its better to have a marram present but its not a must, especially if the girl lives far away from home and met the guy at uni. As long as people can see them and what they are discussing is relevant and halal, its fine.
    I'm a guy so I don't have to.
    Professional relation/interviews come with different opinions.

    I'm sorry to inform you, but on the matter of meeting to get to know a guy for marriage, a Mahram(imam if there is no mahram) is a must. There is absolutely no difference of opinion on this matter.

    The scenario of open discussion where one can be seen is, etc I have heard it before, however in situations of having to do school work together.

    http://daruliftaa.com/node/5749?txt_QuestionID=
    http://islamqa.info/en/13791
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    (Original post by Iqbal007)
    I'm a guy so I don't have to.
    Professional relation/interviews come with different opinions.

    I'm sorry to inform you, but on the matter of meeting to get to know a guy for marriage, a Mahram(imam if there is no mahram) is a must. There is absolutely no difference of opinion on this matter.

    The scenario of open discussion where one can be seen is, etc I have heard it before, however in situations of having to do school work together.

    http://daruliftaa.com/node/5749?txt_QuestionID=
    http://islamqa.info/en/13791
    Who puts the rules that in a professional relationship, a woman doesn't need a mahram but when it comes to discussing marriage you do? It doesn't really make a difference a female speaking to a man is interacting the same way under both circumstances, it comes back to culture. The more conservative a culture is the more restriction is placed. Anyway you don't need to bother anymore, the issue doesn't affect you.
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    (Original post by kaiwid23)
    Saudi Arabia is a country where almost 100% of citizens are Muslim. Who are you to tell 30,000,000 people that they are a disgrace to Islam? They pray, they fast, they pay the Zakaat and, due to their location, they probably go on Hajj a lot more than you, too. These people would tell you that YOU are the disgrace to Islam for justifying dating through various loopholes and intricate paths.

    In my eyes, neither of you are a disgrace to Islam - I wouldn't even care if you were - but I do think you're quite rude for talking down my attitudes as if they're invalid or stupid just because we don't have the same religious beliefs.
    Let's just agree to disagree
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    Rather than asking people whether it is right or wrong, do you think, with the way you practice your religion, it is right or wrong? If you don't think it wrong, then go ahead, but if you think it is wrong and would go against the way you interpret your religion, then don't do it. We can't really tell you how to practice your religion including what is right or wrong because different people interpret their own religions differently. It seems to be like your conflicted more out of guilt of doing something wrong in itself rather than questioning whether such deed would be wrong in terms of the religion.
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    (Original post by RosyPearl)
    Who puts the rules that in a professional relationship, a woman doesn't need a mahram but when it comes to discussing marriage you do? It doesn't really make a difference a female speaking to a man is interacting the same way under both circumstances, it comes back to culture. The more conservative a culture is the more restriction is placed. Anyway you don't need to bother anymore, the issue doesn't affect you.
    These are the opinions of Islamic scholars.......work place is different and with it comes different set of rules depending on which opinion you follow. However, there are certain things which are clear cut and has consensus across the board on matters. Again this isn't about culture, this is the Islamic view points on such matter, even by "Western" scholars.
 
 
 
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