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    (Original post by midgemeister7)
    Agreed. Funny how it's despicable for a man to find somebody's weight (changeable) offputting, but it's acceptable for girls to discriminate openly based on men's height that cannot be changed.
    I personally would judge someone on their weight/height so I understand that guys could judge me based on my weight also that's why I was asking so I think these are fair comments too
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    (Original post by midgemeister7)
    Agreed. Funny how it's despicable for a man to find somebody's weight (changeable) offputting, but it's acceptable for girls to discriminate openly based on men's height that cannot be changed.
    Don't get hung up on height either. There are plenty of girls who are not bothered by it and will date guy's shorter than themselves by quite some margin. It's all about attitude, a good personality and having confidence in oneself without arrogance.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I personally would judge someone on their weight/height so I understand that guys could judge me based on my weight also that's why I was asking so I think these are fair comments too
    Yeah that's fair enough. From your OP your weight doesn't sound like much of a problem anyway to be hinest


    (Original post by uberteknik)
    Don't get hung up on height either. There are plenty of girls who are not bothered by it and will date guy's shorter than themselves by quite some margin. It's all about attitude, a good personality and having confidence in oneself without arrogance.
    Very true, it was just a response to those already on this thread calling people who care about weight 'tossers' and the sort who girls should 'stay away from' frankly ridiculous
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm somewhere between 11 and 12 stone (not sure how much bcos I haven't weighed myself for months and I have lost weight recently) and I'm 5'8
    i'm same as you and i'm in a really happy relationship with a younger guy. you'll find someone. are you just curvy? or (sorry) chubby?
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    I think that what you think of yourself matters the most. If you're not comfortable with your own body then you should change it to suit you. If you are comfortable with your body then you shouldn't change it. I actually think that chubby girls tend to be really cute (even though I'm a straight female) although I know that it's not a very popular opinion.
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    Some blokes like a bit of extra meat on their ribs.
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    (Original post by midgemeister7)
    Yeah that's fair enough. From your OP your weight doesn't sound like much of a problem anyway to be hinest




    Very true, it was just a response to those already on this thread calling people who care about weight 'tossers' and the sort who girls should 'stay away from' frankly ridiculous
    Oh unclench! What I mean is that if weight (within a reasonable amount) is a deal breaker then the guy is an idiot. If a guy has that approach he could be missing out on an awesome relationship. I also said it was my opinion of which I am entitled...as are you!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not really fat at all but I'm slightly overweight (like not much but I'm very self conscious about it) and I'm worried the fact I have a bit of a tummy/ bigger thighs will put guys off if we decide to take things further. From your experiences, do guys generally get put off by girls being slightly bigger or do they care more about other things?
    depends how much but its usually grand

    be confident and lose the weight if youre that insecure about it

    keep telling yourself youre the bomb until you believe it

    (Original post by megxn)
    if he doesn't like your weight then he really isn't worth your time!
    maybe at a stretch..but you wana increase your chances of finding someone suitable if yeh can...
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    Personally I look at overall proportions. Stomach in relation to breasts for example. For me it's whether it's mostly in the right places.

    Actually a better mode of appraisal when you think about it. Skinny model types might get a huge belly with skinny legs and small breasts were they to eat more. But you wouldn't know.
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    I know exactly what you look like (as you have a similar height / weight to me, though possibly a different body shape).

    It's classed as 'high end of normal' by BMI, but I would personally like to lose another stone, and could easily afford to. I sometimes catch guys looking at me (if I dress right, which I usually don't), but I don't exactly have hordes of admirers, so I would say aim for 10-11 stone, and lift some weights, and you should look great. Your height is a good asset, believe it or not.
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    (Original post by dhr90)
    You sound fine to me.

    Look how you want and do what you want because you want to, not because someone else wants to.

    Besides, have you ever hugged one of those size 6/8 stick thin girls? Its like hugging a slightly warmer lamp post that has arms...
    "skinny shaming" to boost the confidence of the overweight is not the way to go about achieving success

    you may liken hugging a size 6/8 to a lamp post without any one batting an eyelid, but if in the next breath you were to suggest that hugging a size 18 was similar to embracing a hippopotamus, reactions would significantly differ. why the double standards?
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    (Original post by chumaniward)
    "skinny shaming" to boost the confidence of the overweight is not the way to go about achieving success

    you may liken hugging a size 6/8 to a lamp post without any one batting an eyelid, but if in the next breath you were to suggest that hugging a size 18 was similar to embracing a hippopotamus, reactions would significantly differ. why the double standards?
    I wouldn't say that though.
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    (Original post by chumaniward)
    "skinny shaming" to boost the confidence of the overweight is not the way to go about achieving success

    you may liken hugging a size 6/8 to a lamp post without any one batting an eyelid, but if in the next breath you were to suggest that hugging a size 18 was similar to embracing a hippopotamus, reactions would significantly differ. why the double standards?
    And when 90% of the media engages in "skinny shaming", as it does in promoting slenderness, that will be an issue.

    Personally I'm in favour of letting the cards fall where they will.
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    (Original post by dhr90)
    I wouldn't say that though.
    Exactly. Why are you happy to criticise one end of the spectrum but not the other?
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    (Original post by green.tea)
    And when 90% of the media engages in "skinny shaming", as it does in promoting slenderness, that will be an issue.

    Personally I'm in favour of letting the cards fall where they will.
    Because we as individuals are only affected by the media and not other members of society. Popular opinions held by our peers mean nothing to us at all.
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    (Original post by Texx)
    Because we as individuals are only affected by the media and not other members of society. Popular opinions held by our peers mean nothing to us at all.
    Look how tastes have changed . What's your explanation?
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    (Original post by green.tea)
    Look how tastes have changed . What's your explanation?
    How have tastes changed? What evidence do you have to suggest that modern men actually seek thinner women than previous generations did?
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    To the OP,

    I used to be insecure like this, but then I asked myself would I not date a guy because he didn't have defined pecs, bulging biceps and a six pack? No of course not, if anything u may be intimidated and put off,so don't think the average guy is only attracted to a model like physique.

    Your weight is perfect for your height x
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    (Original post by Texx)
    How have tastes changed? What evidence do you have to suggest that modern men actually seek thinner women than previous generations did?
    General consensus. Try Googling "Marilyn Monroe fat" and look at the information gained through life experience that people express. As I said, the media promotes a particular idea of ideal body image.

    People find larger women attractive but because of the media driven attitudes are often cowed into going along with consensus. Actually a nice selection tool.

    You can't seriously tell me that "popular opinions driven by peers" aren't almost totally driven by media? Did some random mutation occur in all of us simultaneously to make us all less racist than our grandparents?
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    So, clearly from this thread there are quite some ignoramuses who will be very offensive about women who are not waif like models. But in reality there are men who find heavier women femine and attractive. This said being very over weight is clearly not an asset for women, or men, in the dating game. OP from what you describe I'd say you're fine and I would have a bit of self confidence and go about your business.
 
 
 
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