Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Attracting Girls? Why is it so difficult?! watch

    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by tinababy)
    That's some dead good advice. Agree with it completely... U seem like u have girls figured out...wish all guys did
    ! I wish I did, my friend, I wish. One can only follow the path ahead and learn through living. I've been the underdog and the alpha and then the underdog again at different times in my life and I have seen things from different perspectives so I've learned through my mistakes, so to speak. I think everyone knows the truth of how to live well and prosper in every walk of life, it's just implementing that knowledge which is the key. A new idea will only flourish if it has been implemented well, be it at a tech startup or in the pursuit of a relationship. I appreciate your complement.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That is some impressive advice! Thank you!

    Nota Bena: I would say I fairly unique as a person, how do you take advantage of that?!
    No one can tell you how to take advantage of your uniqueness because it's so unique! I would say that your common mannerisms and quirks are a good place to start. I forgot to mention too that you've got to be a well-rounded person. That means that you've got to have a variety of interests and an interest in other people's interests to the extent where you can at least relate to them and make conversation. You don't want to be shouty, attention-seeking know-it-all, but you also don't want to be the guy playing Flappy Bird on his phone in the corner. Ultimately, every thing you change for the better in your life creates a self-perpetuating cycle. Just like when bad becomes worse, good becomes great and beyond. So get yourself in gear, give yourself time and be patient. You've got a lot going for you, just like every man, woman and child around you. Make the most of it!

    Best of luck!
    • PS Helper
    • Study Helper
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    PS Helper
    Study Helper
    The best advice I can give you OP is to get yourself to be the best version of yourself, and then others will gravitate to you.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by "Wanted")
    ! I wish I did, my friend, I wish. One can only follow the path ahead and learn through living. I've been the underdog and the alpha and then the underdog again at different times in my life and I have seen things from different perspectives so I've learned through my mistakes, so to speak. I think everyone knows the truth of how to live well and prosper in every walk of life, it's just implementing that knowledge which is the key. A new idea will only flourish if it has been implemented well, be it at a tech startup or in the pursuit of a relationship. I appreciate your complement.



    No one can tell you how to take advantage of your uniqueness because it's so unique! I would say that your common mannerisms and quirks are a good place. I forgot to mention too that you've got to be a well-rounded person. That means that you've got to have a variety of interests and an interest in other people's interests to the extent where you can at least relate to them and make conversation. You don't want to be shouty, attention-seeking know-it-all, but you also don't want to be the guy playing Flappy Bird on his phone in the corner. Ultimately, every thing you change for the better in your life creates a self-perpetuating cycle. Just like when bad becomes worse, good becomes great and beyond. So get yourself in gear, give yourself time and be patient. You've got a lot going for you, just like every man, woman and child around you. Make the most of it!

    Best of luck!
    I say! I found myself giving you a little ripple of applause when I read that! You're an extremely wise chap when it comes to the female kind! I appreciate you advice and hope to enforce it! A question if I may. How was it being an alpha male? As some who has sort of hovered just below that category, I've always wondered how it was.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Any tips for greater success?
    pm me and il try and help
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't think I can make that determination as I would be bias! One has to be objective! Being subjective doesn't really help the situation!
    You're joking right?....Being able to critique yourself is without a doubt the best thing you have to improve attracting girls....

    What do you expect to happen? One little trick and it will all fall into place?

    Here is what it takes....Speaking to 1000+ woman in life and pointing the finger at yourself after every time you talk to one of them and seeing what you need to change about yourself as a person, what you did that was good and what you need to improve upon. You need to view the whole thing subjectively.

    If I was to talk to you about everything Iv'e learnt over the last year we would be there every evening 3/4 hours a hit for the next 6 months.

    But then there is imparting it all upon yourself and making it part of you as a being. Talking about it and understanding ideals is great but it become part of you is what you need.

    But one thing you have to realise is that its not woman that ultimately you will be working on improving results with. Its people in general regardless of gender.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Sam Walters)
    You're joking right?....Being able to critique yourself is without a doubt the best thing you have to improve attracting girls....

    What do you expect to happen? One little trick and it will all fall into place?

    Here is what it takes....Speaking to 1000+ woman in life and pointing the finger at yourself after every time you talk to one of them and seeing what you need to change about yourself as a person, what you did that was good and what you need to improve upon. You need to view the whole thing subjectively.

    If I was to talk to you about everything Iv'e learnt over the last year we would be there every evening 3/4 hours a hit for the next 6 months.

    But then there is imparting it all upon yourself and making it part of you as a being. Talking about it and understanding ideals is great but it become part of you is what you need.

    But one thing you have to realise is that its not woman that ultimately you will be working on improving results with. Its people in general regardless of gender.
    You make a good point! I was being slightly light hearted about the comment I made, however I do agree that self reflection and of course improvement helps with all parts of our lives. I think I've got to the point where, I think I'm doing most things right, and people say 'oh you should have a girlfriend' and a lot of people meet especially girls already assume I have one. I'm stuck in a rut at the moment and I'm not quite sure how to end it!
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Paras Agarwal)
    because you're not attractive
    So long as you're not the person in your avatar, you should be at least "not ugly".
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by catsis)
    Lol really? It's a genuine question
    Haha yeh, even though it's a genuine question, it's like where are you suppose to be looking? Clubs, pubs, on the tube haha
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Who said I was ugly or desperate? It's a justified question you are too inept to understand that?
    I don't think the OP is necessarliy ugly or desperate... I mean if attraction, dating and relationships weren't so difficult for some people then why would relationships be one of the most popular forums here?

    OP my advice to you is be yourself and work on yourself and you will get there. Know what you want and don't be afraid to take risks never be disheartened by any outcomes or attached to them rather they will provide an excellent learning opportunity and help you improve your skills.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Loafing.Charizard)
    Haha yeh, even though it's a genuine question, it's like where are you suppose to be looking? Clubs, pubs, on the tube haha
    Yeah I get it. I was just thinking that depending on the setting, he might be intimidating these girls. It depends.

    I get approached a lot in various different places and I don't particularly like any of them. I'm more likely to date someone in the same uni or workplace just because I'm paranoid and I start thinking he could be a rapist/serial killer/psychopath. I do understand that most girls are more sensible than I am lol.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by tinababy)
    Well what I wld say is that girls are taught to never express much interest because that is considered desperate and that guys have to chase a girl and show interest. This sucks because the guy then never know if a girl likes him because she is afraid to show interest and seem desperate and easy. And sometimes if they like a guy they try to mask all of that kind of emotion as they are worried they are being obvious which makes it even harder for the guy.
    Ah that's def not always the case. Ever had girls boob you in a bar? Ignite a convo?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Ffs so many desperate guy threads lol.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    You tried using "ye old Diazepam and doing it in the back of the van" method?

    SEWIOUSLY tho, self-cosmetic surgery and money is probs the best way to get girls...

    but if that doesn't work online brides much?
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    required: ok physiology (hygiene, body, accent, etc) ok psychology (confidence, independence, social skills)

    play to your strengths, if you're ugly and have no job etc you can at least be confident and have good social skills.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by "Wanted")
    In my experience, girls like the following:

    NB: Before anyone judges me, I am a total hypocrite as I don't follow all of the below points, but I'm trying to and will hopefully succeed one day!

    1) Compatible personality - You've got to show that you can get along with her. If you can make her laugh, you're doing great. You've got to feel comfortable around her and vice versa. Moreover, there's got to be some energy between the both of you. If she's staring blankly at you or doesn't seem to be interested in you, then either she isn't, or you haven't projected yourself well enough.

    2) Confidence - So cliché to say but it's absolutely true. Girls don't like the guys who sit in the corner and twiddle their thumbs. They like a robust grounding and can-do attitude.

    3) Be Yourself - Again, very cliché to say, and again it's entirely true. I'm no expert, but every girl I've ever been with said that she liked me for my uniqueness. So show them what you've got. (No, no that thing, I mean you as a person)

    4) Keep in good shape. I wouldn't say that looks matter the most. See, you're dealt with a hand and that's it. It's in your genetics or whatever you want to say to justify your appearance. The critical point is, there's no such thing as 'ugly'. It's a subjective term. You've got to take care of your body the best you can, keep it lean and eat well and you will look and feel more vibrant, and subsequently attract more women. One girl's reject is another girl's dream, so don't ever write yourself off.

    5) Be nice - (Did I mention cliché, anyone?) Girls like nice guys from my experience. Be kind, don't favourite anyone especially, just do good deeds when and where you can and you'll be surprised how much it carries over in your relationships with your friends, family and girls to come. You'll feel better and this will show when the time comes.

    6) Eat rejection - If you ask a girl out (because you like her, quantity of asks <<<< quality of asks) and she isn't interested, then that's her loss, as far as you're concerned. Take it like a man and don't go crying home. Get out there, meet some nice girls. You may already know some. If there's one special to you, get yourself ready with the aforementioned points and go and ask her if you want to get a drink.

    The people that find it difficult to get girls are the ones who don't try. And I don't mean that you or me or anyone else should just go out there and 'cold call'. I'm talking about meaningful pursuits. Prepare yourself like you would for an exam or an interview even if it sounds corny and you'll see what happens.

    Anyway, best of luck! Have a good one.
    That's pretty sound advice right there! From a personal point of view I'd worry about my looks & rejection the most so it's all about creating a positive mindset aha
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by holmes221)
    Ah that's def not always the case. Ever had girls boob you in a bar? Ignite a convo?
    Haha well I suppose we cant generalise and no I've never had girls boob me but I guess that wld be the perfect way to express interest might do it the next time I see a cute guy on the street if u think its effective
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I say! I found myself giving you a little ripple of applause when I read that! You're an extremely wise chap when it comes to the female kind! I appreciate you advice and hope to enforce it! A question if I may. How was it being an alpha male? As some who has sort of hovered just below that category, I've always wondered how it was.
    Hehe, that means a lot! It's all about failure. When you've seen the ugly side, it's easy to appreciate what's really important. I'm not saying that I've had a difficult life or difficult time, just that if you're doing something wrong, at least you have the opportunity to learn from it. Hey, honestly though, I messed up so badly with a girl once that it still haunts me. I completely threw away my relationship with her over something really stupid. It was just the way I didn't tell her straight about how I felt. Ah, anyway, that's a story for another day.

    What does it feel like being an alpha male? Pretty good from my limited time and experience. The definition of alpha male is relatively vague and so I'd say there are two components. Firstly, being the alpha depends on the people that you're surrounded by as alpha in one group does not imply alpha in another group. Secondly, you have to exhibit at least some of the points mentioned before such as confidence and a strong presence, but you must also show humility and acceptance, which some often forget makes a top guy. When you walk into the room, you will be greeted, respected and without being the centre of attention, generally admired. In other words, once again, not that guy playing Doodle Jump in the corner of the room; not the guy attention seeking and making stupid jokes; not the guy being a **** to everyone else; not the guy who takes too much pride in himself; the guy that's quiet when necessary and sparks up the conversation on the beat. It's hard to explain.

    Once again, the above is just the theory. Doing this in real life is harder, but not impossible. One has to work to achieve, my friend.

    Let's just put it this way, I really need to follow my own advice!

    Cheers. :cool:
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by tinababy)
    Haha well I suppose we cant generalise and no I've never had girls boob me but I guess that wld be the perfect way to express interest might do it the next time I see a cute guy on the street if u think its effective
    Well it's usually in bars. Be careful not to knock him unconscious.


    With big boobs comes great responsibility
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by holmes221)
    Well it's usually in bars. Be careful not to knock him unconscious.


    With big boobs comes great responsibility
    Haha of course I understand this heavy responsibility that has been placed upon me haha yeah it wldnt work walking down the street ...i wld have to jump or leap... I wld defo ko him then oh well it was a good idea when I first thought of it
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by tinababy)
    Haha of course I understand this heavy responsibility that has been placed upon me haha yeah it wldnt work walking down the street ...i wld have to jump or leap... I wld defo ko him then oh well it was a good idea when I first thought of it
    Just a gentle feminine poke with boobs on his arm.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 2, 2015
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.