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Guys, would you date an ex-bulimic who has a few relapses? watch

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    I think most blokes would be supportive.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So you have to be desperate to date a bulimic or ex-bulimic? Wow. We are human beings with feelings not sub-humans 'with a pulse and a pussy'
    No I didn't mean it that way. Having bulimia isn't really an issue for me. I'd offer her my support, try to help her (or get her the help she needs), it wouldn't really be an issue. I quite like taking care of people and looking after them and trying to help them through tough times.

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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Just out of interest, is it the mental illness or the self-esteem that's the issue? The two often go together, but not exclusively.
    I can't say "I'd never date anybody with a mental illness", because that covers such a huge range of things and to varying degrees, etc.

    But I wouldn't date somebody with serious self-esteem issues. And having a mental illness that stems from body-image problems, is about as serious as it gets.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I get you not wanting to date someone with a mental health problem but to say you won't date anybody with self-esteem issues... Don't we all have self-esteem issues to some extent? Nobody's perfect. In a relationship you get to face the good the, the bad and the ugly... It's always there perhaps less so in some people but we all have some darkness. Well that's just my two cents anyway
    If it's like, sometimes they feel a little insecure about their weight or skin or a certain bodypart or something, fine, of course, that's normal. Many people have extremely low self-esteem though, and it's a real drain to be around somebody like that for me. I don't have any real confidence issues and am 100% happy with who I am, and I would want to be (and am, actually) with somebody who is the same.
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    (Original post by e aí rapaz)
    I can't say "I'd never date anybody with a mental illness", because that covers such a huge range of things and to varying degrees, etc.

    But I wouldn't date somebody with serious self-esteem issues. And having a mental illness that stems from body-image problems, is about as serious as it gets.
    :yy: Fair enough.
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    (Original post by Icebaker)
    No I didn't mean it that way. Having bulimia isn't really an issue for me. I'd offer her my support, try to help her (or get her the help she needs), it wouldn't really be an issue. I quite like taking care of people and looking after them and trying to help them through tough times.

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    Unless they're asexual, of course.
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    Unless they're asexual, of course.
    That's definitely a no-go zone. Anything I do, I only do it in the hope that it will eventually lead to sex. If my efforts aren't leading to sex, then I'll cut bait. But I'm also a bit conflicted, I wouldn't mind a bit of friendship every now and then. I'm very desperate.

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    "A few relapses", sure, but a binge each day is not the odd relapse, it's an on-going problem. Whilst I sympathise, to a degree, I would not date someone with such a stark mental health problem personally; I have enough problems of my own without a partner adding to them with problems of their own
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    "A few relapses", sure, but a binge each day is not the odd relapse, it's an on-going problem. Whilst I sympathise, to a degree, I would not date someone with such a stark mental health problem personally; I have enough problems of my own without a partner adding to them with problems of their own
    (Original post by Profesh)
    So you're still bulimic?

    Didn't really think about it like that. It's not easy. But the days I eat well, I don't at all. But thank you, I think I am in a bit of in-denial at the moment.

    I have contacted my GP and will be start getting help.

    Probably not 100% in context. But I think I recovered on my own. I think the internet has too many pages to encourage bulimia, I learnt everything I needed to know within a couple of google searchs.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think I am in a bit of in-denial at the moment
    Sounds a little that way, although that's to take nothing away from the progress you've made

    I have contacted my GP and will be start getting help
    Good shout

    I think the internet has too many pages to encourage bulimia, I learnt everything I needed to know within a couple of google searchs
    That's pretty awful
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    I previously suffered from anorexia- I also have some health conditions which I won't discuss. My anorexia led to me having a BMI of under 15 (low enough to have killed me).
    I overcame this and now have a BMI of 21 (but I am very lean/muscular so look bigger than my weight portrays) and actually reached 22 before an unrelated illness (asthma attack) caused a little bit of weight loss.
    Due to my health conditions I have to eat well over 4,000 calories a day (4,000 is just to maintain my weight)- which for an ex-anorexic who previously ate under 1,000 and ran all day was a tough task.
    I learned to fall in love with nutrition and weight lifting- the NHS referred me to a nutritionist but the waiting list was 6 months so I decided to ask my uni nutritionist instead who gave me books about nutrition, taught me how to lift weights and put me on a body building program.
    I became hooked on getting stronger and looking lean, ripped and muscular rather than just being skinny and unhealthy. Yes a lot of bodybuilders are obsessive and lame but I see myself as a powerlifter who lifts to get strong, have fun and get a bit bigger too.
    I now love food and I eat a healthy diet- I do sometimes obsess about eating enough food (I have to track to make sure I eat at least 4,000 calories), but only maybe once a week if my daily diet changes significantly or I'm away- I track this on an app called myfitnesspal. However I wouldn't recommend this unless you have to eat as much as I do.

    My advice on overcoming bulimia would be:
    1. Be brave- think of you're loved ones and not wanting to let them down
    2. Don't worry about binging- I done this when I was anorexic and at first when I started bulking. The reason you feel the need to binge is because you don't eat enough most of the time and you're body is desperate. It isn't good for you but isn't terrible either- don't beat yourself up. I haven't feel the need to binge ever since I first started bulking (I did a few times when I started because my body was pretty wrecked). The reason I never need to binge is because I eat enough every day to never feel the need.
    3. Learn about nutrition- there's so much bull****/fad diets. Learn from a real book (that isn't too complicated). Learn that carbs don't make you fat (a pet peeve of mine)- they are an essential macro-nutrient and should make up 40-50% of your calories. Fat doesn't make you fat either and is also an essential macro-nutrient.
    4. Lift weights- seriously even if you just use the machines at the gym and try some free weights out, you might find they're a lot of fun. A common misconception is weights make you 'bulky and big' but thus is wrong. To get big and bulky you have to have a lot of muscle which is developed as lean body mass (in other words weight) which is gained through eating lots of food combined with stimulus of muscles- basically you have to eat loads of food and train for yours. If you just want to get some healthy body mass and get fitter and stronger then lifting weights and eating will make you gain some nice healthy lean mass without making you bulky! Look at female fitness models such as those in the links below- they lift ridiculously heavy weights (and only do cardio when prepping for shows to get slightly unhealthily lean). They are all actually with bmi's of 24-26 but look very fit:
    http://maximusmark.com/wp-content/up...-Nutrition.jpg
    http://dwnloadwallpapers.com/wp-cont...del-Female.jpg
    https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/i...a07S5S-SadcMWa
    I don't suggest trying to look like these women as they take a lot of drugs and are photoshopped but I'm just trying to prove lifting weights doesn't make women look manly.

    Anyway I would have no problem dating a bulimic- I would be supportive and sympathetic as I understand her problem, but I would want her to at least try to get healthy and maybe listen to some of my advise.

    Good luck on your road to recovery. I hope my advise is useful.
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    (Original post by averagenerdykid)
    x
    thank you, i will actually save your post and read it whenever it's difficult. I started the Cambridge diet and it seriously messed with my head. I wasn't even that overweight to begin with.

    But thank you again. xx
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Sounds a little that way, although that's to take nothing away from the progress you've made

    Good shout

    That's pretty awful
    Thanks. Have a good night.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thank you, i will actually save your post and read it whenever it's difficult. I started the Cambridge diet and it seriously messed with my head. I wasn't even that overweight to begin with.

    But thank you again. xx
    Good luck
 
 
 
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