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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    She could have, but there's no evidence we've seen of that. You can't just excuse any ****ty behaviour because they may have been abused, and that isn't an excuse to treat other people badly. She sees another guy behind his back, then accuses him of not loving her? And never makes time for him? She sounds more like the manipulative one than the victim of abuse.
    That's why he should explore the reasoning behind her actions rather than fight. It's better to get an understanding than just fighting.
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    She could have, but there's no evidence we've seen of that. You can't just excuse any ****ty behaviour because they may have been abused, and that isn't an excuse to treat other people badly. She sees another guy behind his back, then accuses him of not loving her? And never makes time for him? She sounds more like the manipulative one than the victim of abuse.
    I've gone down the abuse for before, and aside from one of her ex's texting another girl (who he ended up dating shortly afterwards) she says she's not been abused. She does find time for me, just she doesn't really seem to make much effort for me (always me walking to hers, meeting her from college) and I have CFS which she is fully aware of, so I thought maybe she'd be feel more inclined to walk and meet me etc. One time I asked her to meet me halfway and she blasted me for saying it, saying that it's the man's job to meet the girl where she is, this was a one of but it stuck with me.
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    #1

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    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've gone down the abuse for before, and aside from one of her ex's texting another girl (who he ended up dating shortly afterwards) she says she's not been abused. She does find time for me, just she doesn't really seem to make much effort for me (always me walking to hers, meeting her from college) and I have CFS which she is fully aware of, so I thought maybe she'd be feel more inclined to walk and meet me etc. One time I asked her to meet me halfway and she blasted me for saying it, saying that it's the man's job to meet the girl where she is, this was a one of but it stuck with me.
    Well she does just sound a bit immature now that you've said that.

    The way I see it is purely pros/cons. Is this worth it?

    Even with all my troubles and my partners my conclusion was yes it is worth it, however I similar situations with ex's, it wasn't.
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    I would feel frustrated and probably hurt too. I'd say you need to sit down and talk about it together. She might be unhappy or stressed, or just being plain neglecting or dismissive. This doesn't sound like it's fair on you, I think you should definitely do something.


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    (Original post by Username unknown)
    I would feel frustrated and probably hurt too. I'd say you need to sit down and talk about it together. She might be unhappy or stressed, or just being plain neglecting or dismissive. This doesn't sound like it's fair on you, I think you should definitely do something.


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    Whenever I try this she usually goes one of two ways:

    1) You obviously don't love me if you're picking out my little faults, I'm not perfect.
    2) Stop being so possessive.

    Even though neither are true, she asks herself that unlike her friends she has freedom in terms of what she does, what she wears etc.

    What is the best course of action in this situation? By this point I'm usually getting frustrated at how ridiculous the things she is saying are.
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    She admits herself*
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    Here's the deal - you're taking this relationship way too seriously and she's not taking it seriously at all, she probably sees you as nothing more than a casual friend or an acquaintance. She's not really into you that much because she's more concerned with her friends, she's not willing to give you her time and affection. She's perfectly happy to be apart from you. These are some serious red flags mate. Her head is not in this, she's not interested in you otherwise she'd be putting in effort to spend more time with you and to make you happy. Proceed with caution.

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    Don't get mad, get even. She'll up her game most likely, or she won't (in which case it's time for a serious chat)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Whenever I try this she usually goes one of two ways:

    1) You obviously don't love me if you're picking out my little faults, I'm not perfect.
    2) Stop being so possessive.

    Even though neither are true, she asks herself that unlike her friends she has freedom in terms of what she does, what she wears etc.

    What is the best course of action in this situation? By this point I'm usually getting frustrated at how ridiculous the things she is saying are.
    Instead of saying "I don't like you avoiding time with me.", say something like "I'd like to spend some time with you tomorrow, how about [activity]?". Make suggestions instead telling her what she's acting like, it will help to avoid an argument.


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