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Need help, I need a good reason/excuse not to have sex with boyfriend.. any ideas?

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Original post by phunky_fresh
They sure are. You know if a parent had a cold sore and decided to kiss their child in the lips for e.g. the virus could easily be passed on. Kids pick up viruses so easily and the virus stays with them. It doesn't have anything to do with being promiscuous. I think OP meant she doesn't want to kiss her boyfriend whilst he had a cold sore and she doesn't want sex for the other reasons stated.


Well damn that sucks. Silly parents.
Reply 21
Avatar for sacca
sacca
1
Original post by mrstudenttsr
Please don't throw around that word when you don't understand what it means. :rolleyes:


I'm studying rape culture in my gender studies course, I know lots about rape
I'd tell him the truth and if he's still being unreasonable then he's probably not the one for you. Herpes will stick around much longer than he will, so think about what's more important to you. Your body or him.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Ew he seems vile. RID THE GERM AND LET HIM BURN! ]:mwuaha:
Original post by Anonymous
Your body, your rules.
You don't want sex, don't have sex.
Make the bloody ultimatum if you have to.
Sounds like a pushy piece of work and you shouldn't put yourself in a position (pardon the pun) you don't want to be in to maintain some form of relationship with him.
And this is coming from a sex driven man, not a feminist, for the record.


I completely agree
Original post by sacca
I'm studying rape culture in my gender studies course, I know lots about rape


Oh please, you're studying a tiny part of a huge issue. You don't even need to be 'educated' on the topic to see that he's not raping her.
Reply 26
Avatar for sacca
sacca
1
Original post by mrstudenttsr
Oh please, you're studying a tiny part of a huge issue. You don't even need to be 'educated' on the topic to see that he's not raping her.


Gender studies helps you unplug from the views society teaches you as you grow up. We live in a culture where rape is normalized, repackaged and sold on the 3rd page of newspapers, rape culture and patriachy is everywhere, my education in gender studies has helped me develop a more nuanced understanding of gender dynamics within modern society.

Look you wouldn't argue physics with a physicist so don't argue rape with a gender studies student, the truth is that this is clearly rape and you are so plugged into rape culture that you cannot see it.
Tell him so he can get on with his life and find someone else.
Original post by sacca
Gender studies helps you unplug from the views society teaches you as you grow up. We live in a culture where rape is normalized, repackaged and sold on the 3rd page of newspapers, rape culture and patriachy is everywhere, my education in gender studies has helped me develop a more nuanced understanding of gender dynamics within modern society.

Look you wouldn't argue physics with a physicist so don't argue rape with a gender studies student, the truth is that this is clearly rape and you are so plugged into rape culture that you cannot see it.


If you are a troll, 10/10. If you are not, you have still made my day.

Either way, keep doing what you do, you have a fan right here.
Original post by sacca
Gender studies helps you unplug from the views society teaches you as you grow up. We live in a culture where rape is normalized, repackaged and sold on the 3rd page of newspapers, rape culture and patriachy is everywhere, my education in gender studies has helped me develop a more nuanced understanding of gender dynamics within modern society.

Look you wouldn't argue physics with a physicist so don't argue rape with a gender studies student, the truth is that this is clearly rape and you are so plugged into rape culture that you cannot see it.



I don't appreciate your aggressive tone - calm down and don't patronise me. Just because you have done a module on this issue, doesn't make you an expert. I'm certainly not going to talk your word as gospel over something I disagree with you about and if you can't handle people disagreeing with you, you will struggle in society. Of course I would 'argue' - or debate with someone. I do it all the time, that's how we discover and learn.
He's not raping her or attempting to rape her. I agree he's clearly pushing the OP into a situation she doesn't feel comfortable with, and that's unacceptable but you cannot go around spouting a word like rape/rapist around in the society we live in. I'd be interested in seeing how you think this is rape. I respect you have an opinion, I just cannot agree with you throwing around a word like that.
Maybe go and get tested for herpes. There's a reasonable chance you have it already, which would simplify things.
Reply 31
Avatar for dara97
dara97
4
Say you're on your period
You can tell a lot by a guy by how he acts when you don't put out.
if he acts like a little bitch and you owe him something - which you don't - shove him off.

introduce him to something called his hand.
its what most people use to relief sexual tension
it works well

dont blame yourself for the inexperience either. Experience is gained slowly and at your own pace.
Reply 33
Avatar for keladry
keladry
6
Original post by sacca
Gender studies helps you unplug from the views society teaches you as you grow up. We live in a culture where rape is normalized, repackaged and sold on the 3rd page of newspapers, rape culture and patriachy is everywhere, my education in gender studies has helped me develop a more nuanced understanding of gender dynamics within modern society.

Look you wouldn't argue physics with a physicist so don't argue rape with a gender studies student, the truth is that this is clearly rape and you are so plugged into rape culture that you cannot see it.


Please explain to me how it is rape. Because there is no way it would hold up in a court of law as rape.

At OP just be honest with him, if he can't take the honest truth and be understanding then the relationship won't last. Best to find out now.
Original post by keladry
Please explain to me how it is rape. Because there is no way it would hold up in a court of law as rape.

At OP just be honest with him, if he can't take the honest truth and be understanding then the relationship won't last. Best to find out now.


It's not rape, as I've pointed out to Sacca - she hasn't got a clue. Glad I'm not the only one that can see that!
Reply 35
Avatar for keladry
keladry
6
Original post by mrstudenttsr
It's not rape, as I've pointed out to Sacca - she hasn't got a clue. Glad I'm not the only one that can see that!



I completely respect gender studies (in theory) and those who actually study what's actually happening and look at it unbiased. what I don't respect is when people just say completely false things and start with conspiracy theories. Hope you don't think all gender studies students are like that.
Original post by keladry
Please explain to me how it is rape. Because there is no way it would hold up in a court of law as rape.

At OP just be honest with him, if he can't take the honest truth and be understanding then the relationship won't last. Best to find out now.


I'm assuming you do a BA or Bsc in psychology or sociology?
What some theorist who done a Phd or a masters in gender studies says does not mean this is the exact definition of rape.

In the eyes of the law rape is the physical act without correct consent.
Seeing as they haven't had sex in weeks, I doubt he's raping her.
He's just being an arse.
The last thing the OP needs is to throw the word rape out to a young lad who hasn't got his end in in weeks.
That really won't go down well and could end up getting a bloke who's just young and a bit of an arse in a lot of trouble
Say you're a born again christian.
Original post by keladry
I completely respect gender studies (in theory) and those who actually study what's actually happening and look at it unbiased. what I don't respect is when people just say completely false things and start with conspiracy theories. Hope you don't think all gender studies students are like that.


Not at all, I took think it's an interesting field. Though again I can only agree with you on what you say in regards to false information and conspiracy theories!
Reply 39
Avatar for keladry
keladry
6
Original post by mcgreevy1993
I'm assuming you do a BA or Bsc in psychology or sociology?
What some theorist who done a Phd or a masters in gender studies says does not mean this is the exact definition of rape.

In the eyes of the law rape is the physical act without correct consent.
Seeing as they haven't had sex in weeks, I doubt he's raping her.
He's just being an arse.
The last thing the OP needs is to throw the word rape out to a young lad who hasn't got his end in in weeks.
That really won't go down well and could end up getting a bloke who's just young and a bit of an arse in a lot of trouble


Nope Nursing.

....I'm fully aware it's not rape...not sure why you're explaining this to me? I was arguing against the girl who said "this is clearly rape" when it clearly is not.

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