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Girlfriend NEVER backs me up. watch

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    Ok and what have they been about? We need to get an idea of what she's said to them. The very fact there's been quite a few isn't exactly gonna make you seem like you're a good match to them.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I said to Polly that I wasn't going to come to her again before speaking personally with her mother - but her mother said that she didn't want that, and that she doesn't like confrontation (I'm a very calm person, and not confrontational whatsoever) - so it never materialised and I've not been around since.

    I've contemplated breaking up with her, but I still have very strong feelings for her, and (as selfish as it sounds) breaking up with her now would ruin my exams, and I would almost certainly miss my offers:/
    I understand, dealing with a breakup is tough enough let alone dealing with the stress of exams at the same time. Maybe you two can take a break? Not exactly a break-up, but a break from the relationship, you can still communicate. But maybe that will give Polly the incentive to tell her mother to stop getting involved and stop with the insulting comments. If her mother continues this behaviour, and Polly does not clamp down on it, she will scare you away and any other potential boyfriends.

    Ask yourself this, if you see yourself being with Polly long-term do you think you're going to be able to cope with her mother and the way this situation is? If the answer is no, let Polly know that. Since her mother won't speak to you, Polly should speak to her own mother. Polly also needs to stop sharing issues between you two with her mother too. That is probably what has also contributed to this negative perception of you.

    If all of that doesn't work, worse case scenario, you and Polly go to a couples counselling session and get some expert advice. If that doesn't work then you either cope with it or you eventually part ways.
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    (Original post by AvaAdore)
    Ok and what have they been about? We need to get an idea of what she's said to them. The very fact there's been quite a few isn't exactly gonna make you seem like you're a good match to them.
    It's usually situations where I'm questionably in the wrong, but she'll twist events slighty to make her seem like the victim. Here's my best example:

    What really happened:

    Around 5 months ago we were on a walk, it was later one (around 7pm) and Polly said she was hungry. I told her I was tired (I have CFS) and that it was fine to go to the pub nearby but I asked if she could try to be fairly quick (she usually takes forever to eat haha) as I get agitated easily when I'm tired. So we went to get food, I had nothing as I wasn't hungry, and in short - she took around 2 hours to eat a plate of food. She was constantly on her phone in between bites of food and after an hour or so I started to get frustrated. I asked if she could maybe be a bit quicker because I was tired and she agreed - but didn't eat any faster. She continued to go on her phone throughout and after asking multiple times I gave up and after around 2 hours I told her 'I'm too tired, if you don't hurry I'm going to go to', and she replied 'you wouldn't.', so I stood up to leave - but realised I was being a bit overreactive and went to sit down again, to which she said 'yeah, you better sit down', so I got up and walked out.

    She will miss out the bits about her being on her phone and saying 'yeah you better sit down' when telling her friends, so she looks like the victim and I seem like a total ******* - she admits she has a minor problem with lying, which I am aware is a massive red flag - but I love her and have this hope that maybe things can improve.

    Thanks everyone also, your help means a lot.
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    Ridiculous how many comments here are defending her or trying to shift blame. Can you imagine comments like this if the genders were reversed?

    Get rid of her OP!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's usually situations where I'm questionably in the wrong, but she'll twist events slighty to make her seem like the victim. Here's my best example:

    What really happened:

    Around 5 months ago we were on a walk, it was later one (around 7pm) and Polly said she was hungry. I told her I was tired (I have CFS) and that it was fine to go to the pub nearby but I asked if she could try to be fairly quick (she usually takes forever to eat haha) as I get agitated easily when I'm tired. So we went to get food, I had nothing as I wasn't hungry, and in short - she took around 2 hours to eat a plate of food. She was constantly on her phone in between bites of food and after an hour or so I started to get frustrated. I asked if she could maybe be a bit quicker because I was tired and she agreed - but didn't eat any faster. She continued to go on her phone throughout and after asking multiple times I gave up and after around 2 hours I told her 'I'm too tired, if you don't hurry I'm going to go to', and she replied 'you wouldn't.', so I stood up to leave - but realised I was being a bit overreactive and went to sit down again, to which she said 'yeah, you better sit down', so I got up and walked out.

    She will miss out the bits about her being on her phone and saying 'yeah you better sit down' when telling her friends, so she looks like the victim and I seem like a total ******* - she admits she has a minor problem with lying, which I am aware is a massive red flag - but I love her and have this hope that maybe things can improve.

    Thanks everyone also, your help means a lot.
    This clearly isn't making you happy. I've been in your shoes and I had to walk away, because it just became too much for me. A relationship really shouldn't have this amount of stress. Her parents are entitled to their respective opinions of you, but that shouldn't mean they treat you with any less respect than you deserve. I imagine you must feel tons of pressure when you're around them, and that really isn't fair.

    Have you spoken to Polly about how all this makes you feel? She comes across as really manipulative, and pretty selfish re the whole eating thing. The fact that she victimises herself is a massive red flag!

    How long have you been with her? How long has this been going on for?

    Also, if it were one of your friends going through this, think about what you'd be saying to them.
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    (Original post by TheGuyReturns)
    Ridiculous how many comments here are defending her or trying to shift blame. Can you imagine comments like this if the genders were reversed?

    Get rid of her OP!
    ^ agreed.
    A problem with lying? What kind of bulls**t? You can always live in the hope that she'll change, but before you know it you're 5 years down the line with kids and its a whole lot more difficult to leave then.
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    (Original post by TheGuyReturns)
    Ridiculous how many comments here are defending her or trying to shift blame. Can you imagine comments like this if the genders were reversed?

    Get rid of her OP!
    Um no - I clearly said if he hasn't treated her badly he should leave. However until just now he didn't say what these arguments are about. Nothing wrong with getting a picture of the situation before you tell a stranger to end their relationship! I'd be asking the same if he was a girl.
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    Sadly for the first couple of years, family to generally trump you.

    Kinda like the whole dad discussing their children. They can bad mouth them, but it's incredibly disrespectful to do the same outside the context of offering advice 'WHEN ASKED!!!'

    Just sit down and talk to her how you don't appreciate how her mum talks about you, but try and be as polite and level headed as possible otherwise you could unleash a ****storm! Keep in mind very often your 'inlaws' will dislike you whatever the relationship, something you really have to learn to deal with.
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    Seems like polly doesnt really respect you and likes the attention she gets from victimizing herself. She hasnt seemed to listen to when you talked about how uncomfortable you felt with her telling every little thing to her friends and family or when you simply told her to eat faster because of your condition. Shes a *****. Dump her
 
 
 
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