Why don't people try to understand asexuality? Watch

Infraspecies
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#21
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#21
(Original post by TheWorldEndsWithYou)
I'm asexual. I've never felt sexual attraction to anyone and don't feel the desire to have sex with anyone either which I'm fine with. However, I like big breasts, I like big bums and I also get aroused but regardless of this it doesn't change how I feel. The difference between me and someone who isn't asexual is that when a woman gives a sexual person an erection that man probably wants to have sex with her however, with an asexual they either just wait for it to go down or take care of it themselves and resume their day. A sexual man will see a sexy woman and think "I'd do her" but an asexual man wouldn't.

Do people see where I'm coming from?
If you're attracted by large breasts and bottoms, then I doubt your asexual. Having no wish to have sex doesn't define an asexual position. An urge to have sex is a response to arousal, which is irrespective of attraction. The urge to have sex can merely manifest itself as an urge to be brought to climax, or as an active desire to have intercourse. Not wanting to perform that latter, however, is also irrespectively of sexuality. There is nothing inherent to having an orientation that demands a desire to perform intercourse, and nothing inherent in wanting intercourse that requires one to have an orientation.
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cole-slaw
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#22
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(Original post by TheWorldEndsWithYou)
I was reminded today of a discussion I had on another website where I was trying to educate people on asexuality however, it didn't go well at all. The problem was that the people were being very narrow-minded and seeing sexuality in a black and white view.

People assume that just because someone is an asexual they stop being human beings; men can't get erections and men can't like breasts or bums. This is a lie. You can see an attractive woman and get aroused because getting aroused tells you that 1) your body is healthy and 2) your body is ready for sex. However, just because your body is telling you it's ready for sex doesn't mean that in your mind you actually desire it. But people continue to think that if you get aroused it means you want sex which means you're not asexual, you're just suppressing your sexual desire.

I'm asexual. I've never felt sexual attraction to anyone and don't feel the desire to have sex with anyone either which I'm fine with. However, I like big breasts, I like big bums and I also get aroused but regardless of this it doesn't change how I feel. The difference between me and someone who isn't asexual is that when a woman gives a sexual person an erection that man probably wants to have sex with her however, with an asexual they either just wait for it to go down or take care of it themselves and resume their day. A sexual man will see a sexy woman and think "I'd do her" but an asexual man wouldn't.

Do people see where I'm coming from?
Suffering from a lack of sexual desire is a well-known symptom of depression. Have you spoken to a medical health professional about it?
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Caitlinmcewan
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#23
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I personally think the original post could have been explained better in terms of attraction but if he says he's asexual then he's asexual, it's not anyone's place to determine otherwise.

I am still coming to terms with whether or not I'm asexual but I can understand some of the points OP is making.

Arousal is separate from sexual attraction. Arousal is an innate reaction by the body to stimulus, sexual attraction is psychological
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TheWorldEndsWithYou
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#24
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#24
(Original post by Caitlinmcewan)
I personally think the original post could have been explained better in terms of attraction but if he says he's asexual then he's asexual, it's not anyone's place to determine otherwise.

I am still coming to terms with whether or not I'm asexual but I can understand some of the points OP is making.

Arousal is separate from sexual attraction. Arousal is an innate reaction by the body to stimulus, sexual attraction is psychological
My original post wasn't intended to be a full explanation of what asexuality is, just recapping briefly that point I made elsewhere that resulted in a barrage of negative
commentary. I suppose I could a more in-depth explanation as to what asexuality is but, the main point is the title of this thread not the original post.
Last edited by TheWorldEndsWithYou; 3 years ago
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TheWorldEndsWithYou
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#25
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#25
(Original post by cole-slaw)
Suffering from a lack of sexual desire is a well-known symptom of depression. Have you spoken to a medical health professional about it?
Now that's just insulting.
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cole-slaw
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#26
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(Original post by TheWorldEndsWithYou)
Now that's just insulting.
How is it insulting? There is nothing to be ashamed of in your condition, and taking your frustration out on me won't make you feel any better.
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(Original post by cole-slaw)
How is it insulting? There is nothing to be ashamed of in your condition, and taking your frustration out on me won't make you feel any better.
I don't mean to come across as snarky but it's not a 'condition'
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TheWorldEndsWithYou
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#28
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(Original post by cole-slaw)
How is it insulting? There is nothing to be ashamed of in your condition, and taking your frustration out on me won't make you feel any better.
I made a statement, I don't see how I'm taking anything out on you

And it's insulting that rather than think that people can just exist as something maybe they have depression. Don't you think people can be aware of themselves that they can know the difference between not experiencing sexual attraction and having depression? Nevermind the fact that asexuals can be happy and generally mentally and emotionally stable people.
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Caitlinmcewan
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#29
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(Original post by cole-slaw)
How is it insulting? There is nothing to be ashamed of in your condition, and taking your frustration out on me won't make you feel any better.
I don't mean to come across as snarky but it's not a 'condition'
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I didn't mean to post that twice
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cole-slaw
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#31
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(Original post by TheWorldEndsWithYou)
I made a statement, I don't see how I'm taking anything out on you

And it's insulting that rather than think that people can just exist as something maybe they have depression. Don't you think people can be aware of themselves that they can know the difference between not experiencing sexual attraction and having depression? Nevermind the fact that asexuals can be happy and generally mentally and emotionally stable people.
Many people who have depression don't realise it. They just think they were "born that way". Its really quite tragic - if only they knew they could get help.

I wish you the best of luck with your condition!
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2ne1Aaron
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#32
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Asexual have lower sex drive,sex drive accounts are one of the main components responsible for sexual arousal,so maybe sometimes you feel aroused,but you don't want to go beyond that.
Last edited by 2ne1Aaron; 3 years ago
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*Thedreaming*
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#33
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#33
Sexuality is more of a spectrum

I def have asexual tendencies
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Caitlinmcewan
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#34
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Asexuality is NOT defined on the basis of not wanting to have sex, you can be asexual and still want to have sex. It means you don't feel sexually attracted to anyone. You can feel romantic attraction and appreciate that they're attractive but you don't look at them in sexual way, some asexuals might not enjoy sex, some might enjoy sex.
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2ne1Aaron
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#35
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There's nothing wrong with you,have you heard of the Kinsey scale?It shows that people fall on a spectrum,which I assume your X(asexual)for people who are non-sexual.
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#36
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#36
I thought I was asexual for years - but it turns out that I was just kind of lethargic and subconsciously repressing things due to abuse as a kid with effects lasting through puberty and beyond. (So grateful for the anonymous feature...)

I took up running and started going to the gym a few years ago. I have to say I definitely have "drive" now, but the latter part is building up my own confidence and self understanding when it comes to a choice in partner.
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anosmianAcrimony
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#37
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Okay, I think this may have helped me to understand asexuality a little better. You're saying that for an asexual, arousal is a purely physical reaction - you might get an erection or something but it doesn't make you want to do anything in particular; is that right?
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saeed97
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#38
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Not trying to be rude but I havent tried to understand it because i dont really care.
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scrotgrot
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#39
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(Original post by TheWorldEndsWithYou)
I was reminded today of a discussion I had on another website where I was trying to educate people on asexuality however, it didn't go well at all. The problem was that the people were being very narrow-minded and seeing sexuality in a black and white view.

People assume that just because someone is an asexual they stop being human beings; men can't get erections and men can't like breasts or bums. This is a lie. You can see an attractive woman and get aroused because getting aroused tells you that 1) your body is healthy and 2) your body is ready for sex. However, just because your body is telling you it's ready for sex doesn't mean that in your mind you actually desire it. But people continue to think that if you get aroused it means you want sex which means you're not asexual, you're just suppressing your sexual desire.

I'm asexual. I've never felt sexual attraction to anyone and don't feel the desire to have sex with anyone either which I'm fine with. However, I like big breasts, I like big bums and I also get aroused but regardless of this it doesn't change how I feel. The difference between me and someone who isn't asexual is that when a woman gives a sexual person an erection that man probably wants to have sex with her however, with an asexual they either just wait for it to go down or take care of it themselves and resume their day. A sexual man will see a sexy woman and think "I'd do her" but an asexual man wouldn't.

Do people see where I'm coming from?
So what goes through your mind when you are taking care of yourself?
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Juichiro
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#40
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#40
(Original post by TheWorldEndsWithYou)
I was reminded today of a discussion I had on another website where I was trying to educate people on asexuality however, it didn't go well at all. The problem was that the people were being very narrow-minded and seeing sexuality in a black and white view.

People assume that just because someone is an asexual they stop being human beings; men can't get erections and men can't like breasts or bums. This is a lie. You can see an attractive woman and get aroused because getting aroused tells you that 1) your body is healthy and 2) your body is ready for sex. However, just because your body is telling you it's ready for sex doesn't mean that in your mind you actually desire it. But people continue to think that if you get aroused it means you want sex which means you're not asexual, you're just suppressing your sexual desire.

I'm asexual. I've never felt sexual attraction to anyone and don't feel the desire to have sex with anyone either which I'm fine with. However, I like big breasts, I like big bums and I also get aroused but regardless of this it doesn't change how I feel. The difference between me and someone who isn't asexual is that when a woman gives a sexual person an erection that man probably wants to have sex with her however, with an asexual they either just wait for it to go down or take care of it themselves and resume their day. A sexual man will see a sexy woman and think "I'd do her" but an asexual man wouldn't.

Do people see where I'm coming from?
Sexual people can also get aroused yet not want to have sex with a particular person. It is interesting nevertheless.
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