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I'm Woody The Comedian, AMA watch

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    how far away are the stars?
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    (Original post by Danno190)
    Still not figured out if he's hitting on you or not, huh?
    :no: Going to his house tomorrow evening
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    (Original post by RainbowKiwi)
    :no:
    Poor little Kiwifruit :unsure:
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    (Original post by RainbowKiwi)
    :no: Going to his house tomorrow evening
    Would you mind if you ended up finding out how comfortable his bed was? :wink2:
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    (Original post by Danno190)
    Would you mind if you ended up finding out how comfortable his bed was? :wink2:
    I wouldn't mind knowing if it's as comfy as he says it is but not if he's in it with me ffs :eek:
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    (Original post by RainbowKiwi)
    I wouldn't mind knowing if it's as comfy as he says it is but not if he's in it with me ffs :eek:
    Then chances are you'll both end up being disappointed
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    (Original post by Danno190)
    Then chances are you'll both end up being disappointed
    I wanna hear what the comedian thinks, he might shed some light
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    (Original post by iSerendipity)
    I agree you're funny, you make me laugh I'm glad you're embracing it.

    What's your fave joke? I know there will be many but pick one.
    Awww, fanx You make me laff as well actually, quite rare for a woman to be such a bantersaurus

    Tough choice.... but I think it's one from a Jimmy Carr DVD in which he's retelling well-known kids jokes.

    Jimmy: What's yellow and dangerous?
    Audience: Shark-infested custard!
    Jimmy: OR, the discharge from the end of my ****.
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    (Original post by K.C)
    when is murder right
    When someone else murders you first.
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    (Original post by DiceTheSlice)
    TL;DR
    Tried Looking; Dyslexia Relapsed?
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    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    Why would someone shoot a man, before throwing him out of a plane :holmes: ?
    It's the easiest way, surely? I imagine you'd have to be a serious crackshot to be able to shoot him after you've thrown him out of it.
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    It's the easiest way, surely? I imagine you'd have to be a serious crackshot to be able to shoot him after you've thrown him out of it.
    My answer to that was 'because the plane's not in the air yet' :awesome:

    He didn't like my answer :indiff:

    somemightsay888
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    (Original post by TornadoGR4)
    The biggest joke is when he looks in the mirror, amirite
    You're right actually, I've got paedo jokes for days
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    hey i have a good joke

    what's red and bad for your teeth

    Spoiler:
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    a brick
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    (Original post by RobML)
    What's the DEAL with airline food?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I think it's a ploy to put terrorists off of boarding.
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    (Original post by RainbowKiwi)
    If a guy keeps mentioning to you how comfy his bed is, what does it mean? :curious:
    He just wants you to lie down, get comfortable, relax, and fall asleep in his nice cozy bed.

    You may wake up with conjunctivitis in the morning. It may be all over your chest as well, totally normal
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    (Original post by flamboy)
    how far away are the stars?
    Well, nobody that has ever reached for the stars has managed to touch them, so pretty far away I reckon.
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    Nobody panics when things go "according to plan." Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan". But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds!

    Explain why pls :holmes:
 
 
 
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