An hour away?! I'd hardly call that long distance!! You could still see each other during the week if you wanted too!! That's really not far at all, just a little further than round the corner...
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Has your or anyone you know LDR worked out? watch
- 25-08-2015 09:15
- Thread Starter
- 25-08-2015 09:55
- 25-08-2015 10:09
Yeah, my bf and I have been together long distance for just over a year now and he'll be moving up to Yorkshire to be with me in a month or so. We're both past uni and education and stuff so we didn't have that added element of freshers and meeting all these new people and going out clubbing which seems to worry some couples as to whether their partner will 'find someone new'.
Long distance can go two ways and it's all down to communication. You either drift, start needing more from them and your trust starts faulting because you guys barely talk. (I've been in that kind of LDR before aswell) OR it's the best, most solid and open relationship you'll ever have. I've probably only physically been around him for around 4 months of the 13 we've been together. I'm ridiculously excited for him to move in. The last few visits have been for longer periods of time than usual to test the waters.
Honestly, just keep talking. If you're made to stay together then you'll both find the time to talk no matter what your schedules.
- 25-08-2015 10:19
Mine worked out!
We were together for just over two years when he went to uni and I went on a gap year. We were only an hour and a bit apart but we only saw each other every other week - partly because I had work commitments, partly because I recognised the fact he needed to socialise and do uni work.
I then went to uni the following year and we became proper long-distance (he was at Warwick, me at St Andrews). However, we continued to see each other every other week, taking it in turns to travel - although round exam times we were understanding of each other and wouldn't perhaps see each other for three or four weeks.
He's now finished uni and I'm in my final year at St Andrews and we've moved in together up here.
I can't say those three years have been the easiest of my life, and sacrifices have to be made, but to me it was worth every one. Yeah, sometimes I couldn't afford to go out because I'd spent all my money on the train fare, but my friends understood (and I'd always join them for the cheap part eg pre drinks). Alternating who travelled also meant I was only away for one weekend a month so didn't feel I was missing out on anything (I have friends who went home more!).
It takes a great deal of trust, good communication (I found Whatsapp was brilliant, with the voice messages. Keeping each other in the loop is vital.) and a lot of understanding of the other person's circumstances but it's definitely doable.
Edit: It's a funny thing, because most people have in their heads that LDRs are doomed from the start. I've just remembered that both of my boyfriend's housemates at uni were also in LDRs with their girlfriends they'd been with since school. Both of their relationships also worked out and they're still together. In fact, I became quite friendly with the girlfriends as our visits often coincided
Edit2: A routine! That's what really helped us out. We established a routine for visiting, a routine for phonecalls etc.
It can sound quite boring, but it really helped. I knew even if I hadn't heard from him all day that he would ring at x time and we would still have time to chat, etc. We also Skyped every Wednesday and Sunday and it was also comforting to know I'd never really go more than a few days without seeing his faceLast edited by TattyBoJangles; 25-08-2015 at 10:34.