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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Soo am I gay? I've been with 5 guys and didn't really enjoy the sex with them, I also wasn't really attracted to any of them and didn't really fancy them naked ( sorry guys). However I continued dating guys cause i thought I just hadn't met the right one..

    However About 6 months ago I started fantasising about women and ever since then, all I can think about is being with a woman. I was bi curious when I was younger, however I never went for it as I didn't know any gay people, and I was in a very homophobic environment. However now I decided to start researching and the more I found out the more I thought about being with a woman.. I even went online and met a girl and we went on a date. Haha turned out that we were better as friends but just going on a date with a girl felt Soo much better! Like I finally found what I wanted.

    I told my friends though and they said that I need to experience a good guy.. Or that not all guys will be like the guys I've been with.. But I'm not interested ? Whenever I think about kissing or going further with a guy? I don't feel excited I just think about how uncomfortable I felt before. However am I just supposed to go through all men just to find one I like? Or am I probably gay?
    Who cares, I love lesbians.
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    If you send me a private message I will link you to a webste which could help you out a lot... I know it helped me.
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    (Original post by Laurenbb30)
    You said you two decided to be friends, so I'm guessing you didn't kiss or that would be a good way to find out how well it really went/ how you feel. So she wasn't attractive at all, or just average? ('Most attractive girl in the world' is vague to me so I'm not quite clear). From everything you've said it sounds like you want to date a girl with a good personality and someone more attractive. And to keep an open mind just in case.

    I'm a lesbian so I've never dated guys, only girls. I don't know personally how different you're finding the dates between the two genders, but it's okay to feel differently to how you did before. A lot of lesbians are attracted to guys but don't want to have sex with them. It's okay to identify as one label and change later on, nothing is set in stone. It sounds like you could be gay, but still with some bisexual tendencies. Labels are very restricting so sometimes it can be hard to define yourself.


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    Yeh that was no kiss, and I didn't want to just force one for the sake of it. She wasn't bad looking, probably just average. However I think it was just the fact that in her pictures she looked quite feminine and she had this nice too on and then in real life she turned up with trackies and a hoodie and had such a manly voice! 🙈 and yeh, like she was nice and things but it was just sort of a question of clicking personality wise and I think we both knew that we didn't have a spark, but yeh the fact that she was a girl and not a guy didn't put me off at all, in fact yeh I just felt more relieved.


    Yeh that's exactly it, I do find guys attractive and obviously it's nice to be around attractive people and for them to find you attractive, but I've rarely had thoughts about kissing them or cuddling them? And when it does happen with guys it's just? Nothing, I just feel like I'm supposed to feel something and it's just a long line of nope and nothing. Yeh that's true, I guess I'll just roll with this and if it doesn't feel right down the line I'll have another rethink
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    surely though bisexuals like both men and women, whereas I'm not really interested in men anymore? I mean obviously if I saw a guy that I really fancied I'd go for it, however I haven't really seen one yet.
    I'd still say bisexual but leaning towards hetero.
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    (Original post by nserw)
    Your sexuality doesn't have to be defined- I've been unsure about mine for almost two years now. But you shouldn't feel like you have an obligation towards men. I had a friend who would call herself bisexual just because she felt like "there had to be something for boys"- she felt as if not being attracted to men would be weird and unnatural, and continued to date/frick around with them even if she only got semi-enjoyment from it. It might not be the same case for you but remember that you are not obliged to like a gender because of the images of heterosexuality the society constantly brings forth. On the other hand, it may be as you said, that you just haven't really found the 'right guy' who you genuinely find attractive. However, if you felt relief dating a girl, then it is for sure that you are more comfortable with girls. My advice would be not to force anything, to take your time with setting (or not setting) a label for yourself, and that it's okay to be gay. Or bisexual. Or anywhere on the sexuality spectrum. It may sound intimidating at first but once you set up a good support network it won't be as scary as you might have thought in the beginning.
    Ahh thanks for replying so much! Yeh thars exactly me! I feel like? Mann I was so sure when I was younger and I just thought that the " right guy" would come along but the more that I've been with guys just the unhappier it's made me and I'm questioning myself why aren't I enjoying this r why I feel like I'm missing something 😂😂

    I think I was just afraid for a long time of being the " gay one" or yeh.. Just not being straight basically. And ueh, cause none of my friends have even considered their sexuality it was hard for me to talk about it, and yeh Tatum they're all so keen to label me as bi and say things like " no you're bi cause you've had boyfriends " Or " how can you be sure?? You just haven't met the right guy" Yehh I guess I'm moving to uni this week so hopefully I can be more open and just start off opening and accepting myself and haha there'll be actual gay people there, instead of now where I'm in an isolated village 😆
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeh that was no kiss, and I didn't want to just force one for the sake of it. She wasn't bad looking, probably just average. However I think it was just the fact that in her pictures she looked quite feminine and she had this nice too on and then in real life she turned up with trackies and a hoodie and had such a manly voice! 🙈 and yeh, like she was nice and things but it was just sort of a question of clicking personality wise and I think we both knew that we didn't have a spark, but yeh the fact that she was a girl and not a guy didn't put me off at all, in fact yeh I just felt more relieved.


    Yeh that's exactly it, I do find guys attractive and obviously it's nice to be around attractive people and for them to find you attractive, but I've rarely had thoughts about kissing them or cuddling them? And when it does happen with guys it's just? Nothing, I just feel like I'm supposed to feel something and it's just a long line of nope and nothing. Yeh that's true, I guess I'll just roll with this and if it doesn't feel right down the line I'll have another rethink
    She wore trackies to a date? I can see your point now! From personal experience, just don't overthink things. It's horrible not knowing 100% but no matter how much reasoning you just need to explore and take things as they come.

    If you don't mind me asking, which uni are you going to? I did a lot of research before going to mine about all the different gay scenes so I know about quite a few areas. Societies are really great and welcoming towards new people, and now there are loads of apps which help too, skips the whole gaydar thing.


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    (Original post by Flather)
    you had sex with guys.... you're gay
    OP is a girl...
 
 
 
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